


A Correlation between Stars

by KrystalM



Series: Stars [1]
Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Behind the Scenes, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Hiro Hamada/Tadashi Hamada, Hiro Hamada & Tadashi Hamada are Not Related, Humor, Implied Hiro Hamada/Tadashi Hamada, M/M, Romance, Secret Relationship, Unrelated Hiro Hamada/Tadashi Hamada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-04-22 21:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 106,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4851818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrystalM/pseuds/KrystalM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forced into pretending to be in a relationship with each other for publicity, Hiro have never thought his life could get anymore worse especially since his 'boyfriend' was none other than his most-hated rival and person. Snort. A few months pretending to be in love with Tadashi? No problem because Hiro is absolutely sure he wouldn't end up feeling anything more than hate for that man...right?</p><p>Especially when Tadashi's heart seemed to be belonged to another, certain, Honey Lemon. Yeah, absolutely. This is professionalism from the start to the end. Nothing more and nothing less. At all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. 
> 
> A/N: Well, I'm back~ Sort of. Ahaha, well, you see, I was just thinking of something to write when I got this idea for this pairing. Once again, my usual 'why not' attitude got to me so here it is! I tried my best though, so if it doesn't feel right at some places--I am sorreh. uvu Anyways, besides that, enjoy!
> 
> Catch me here too!
> 
> [Wattpad](http://www.wattpad.com/user/KrystalM) | [FFNet ](http://www.fanfiction.net/~xokrystalmox) | [GoodReads](https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/42035367-krystal-m) | [Tumblr](http://thekmuniverse.tumblr.com/) | [LiveJournal](http://kmunroe.livejournal.com/)

 

Hiro smiled.

 

He laughed.

 

Hiro took pictures with his fans.

 

Signed a few autographs and gave out a little wink whenever he felt like it (his fans loved that). Then, his fingers were interlocked together with the person next to him and Hiro looked at them before he smiled adoringly.

 

The man he was with smiled for the cameras as well before his warm brown eyes locked with Hiro’s. He gave out his most charming smile, the ones that always made Hiro’s heart flutter. His cheeks reddened slightly as he grinned before he looked back to the crowd in front of him. They made their way down the red carpet for the awards ceremony tonight.

 

Lights flashed and fans screamed as they walked inside. Their fingers tightened together and Hiro gently morphed another smile on his face. He sighed softly to himself as they were escorted to their seats and they sat down, next to each other before breaking their interlocked hands.

 

The ceremony award began and the night was just starting to become beautiful.

 

They won for the Best Actor award and for the Best Role Played award. Hiro didn’t expect anything less than that as he cheered for the man once he went on stage, then in return, the man pecked his right cheek as he went to collect his award.

 

It was a beautiful night. What more could Hiro ask?

 

Once the ceremony was done with, they walked out of the auditorium together, close, side by side until they smiled and just flashed their brilliant smiles to the cameras and adoring fans. Then, their limo came into their view and they got in.

 

And—

 

 _Cut_.

 

Immediately, Hiro moved as far away as he could from the taller man and took in a shuddering breath. He took his right hand and immediately tried to rub his cheek where the man had last touched him with his lips. “God, we’re _never_ doing that again. You! You don’t have to freaking put your lips on my cheeks! That’s—that’s _gross_ , Tadashi!”

 

The taller man, Tadashi, sighed and relaxed as if a huge burden was lifted from his shoulders. He loosened his tie as he slumped deeper into his seat. The tension started to roll off his shoulders before he glanced at Hiro. “What else was I supposed to do? Just hold your hand throughout the night? That’s just childish, Hiro. And besides, it’s not like I’m the one who requested for ‘more public PDA’.”

 

Hiro sharpened his glare at Tadashi and shuddered internally at the words. “Just—stay away from me.”

 

“My pleasure,” Tadashi retorted curtly and then silence filled in between them.

 

Hiro didn’t want this to happen. He was stuck in an unhappy imaginary relationship with Tadashi Hamada (No, Hiro Hamada and Tadashi Hamada are not from the same descendant or related in any way, thank you very much! We’re _not_!) or his actor name, Tadashi Takachiho. How? It was quite simple really. It all started with that stupid movie called ‘Big Hero 6’ few years ago.  

 

Yeah. _That_.

 

They acted as siblings in there, not much to decipher from that. Hiro was the younger sibling and Tadashi was his older brother who supposedly killed himself trying to save some douchebag. That part was Hiro’s favourite scene but that wasn’t the point. The point was his fans; his lovely (irritating and obviously could be the most stupid people on the planet at some times) fans said that there was something more going on between Hiro and Tadashi outside of the sets.

 

Then the backstage-scenes were released and Hiro had to act civil (god, that _cringe_ ) with Tadashi throughout the entire shooting time. The fans loved it and just within the first few hours of that backstage scene being released, his fans, Tadashi’s fan, heck, even the Queen of England’s fans started to think that maybe Hiro was indeed in a secret relationship with Tadashi and that all this ‘I-hate-you-but-I’m-trying-my-best-to-be-civil-with-you-for-the-cameras’ act was just a cover-up for their—

 

And Hiro quoted; “For their true, mature love for each other. The romance of the year.”

 

God, could these people be anymore _blind_?

 

Apparently, Hiro’s mind muttered bitterly, they _could_ because even after all these years, the pairing was still strong among his fellow fans until one day, his agent was contacting him, scheduling a meeting with the agency that was currently holding onto his contract. Hiro went to the meeting and he thought that maybe he needed to apologise for something he did (even though he didn’t think there was anything he did wrong) but when he spotted Tadashi in the conference room with him, he got the hint on what was to be discussed at the moment.

 

It was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life.

 

“I repeat, and let me make this absolutely clear for you both to understand,” Hiro had said to the managers of the agency and their agents. “I do not harbour any—and when I say any, I mean really, none, zero, absolutely _nu_ - _uh_ , feelings of affections or even like, or _heck_ , I don’t know, even near anything remotely _positive_ , for this man right here.”

 

“That’s sour,” Tadashi commented lightly though he wasn’t really paying attention to any of them, instead, he was on his phone. Hiro knew who he was so busy typing to, there was no way he couldn’t especially from the way the news had been reporting stories about them every now and then lately. But pushing that matter aside, the agency finally thought that this was an opportunity that could not be missed. An opportunity for them to officially make the rumours true, that indeed something romantic was hiding behind the shadows of hatred.

 

Hiro was the first to protest and Tadashi was frozen in his seat. And then he protested too. _Finally_.

 

But it was futile. They didn’t want to hear it.

 

“It’s just for a few months, to get the rating high enough so that people will remember you both, want you both more in movies and dramas and interviews. Your image gets lifted, so does our agency’s.”

 

Well, it made sense to them but Hiro refused to believe it made sense to him.

 

But he had no choice but to follow through this or he could kiss his carrier goodbye. He glared at Tadashi the entire time and the taller man wasn’t really enjoying the ride either.

 

Hiro remembered the first time he hated Tadashi. The feelings were mutual for each other, it was just that. They met, they fought and the next thing they knew, they were rivalling for everything, from movies to interviews. Then, Big Hero 6 came along and they had to work together to produce a movie where it showed love and affection in every form to the viewers.

 

Few years later, that movie was still the cause of this—this— _thing_ between them. Nineteen now and the ‘Hiro  & Tadashi having a secret affair but not telling us’ still hadn’t let up until the agency decided to make it official two months ago.

 

Hiro just hated his life. Really, he did. Ignore that huge mansion rolling into view and more than three million dollars in his bank account, he just hated his life. Period.

 

Once the limo stopped in front of his house, he took in a deep breath and opened the door. “Thanks,” Hiro said to the driver, who only glanced at him from the rear-view mirror and nodded. Hiro didn’t even bother to look at Tadashi as he got out of the car and slammed the door. Then, he stalked to the house and rolled his shoulders.

 

“Aunt Cass?” he called out to his only family member since his parents died in a tragic plane crash two years ago. His aunt moved in with him right afterwards and took care of him like he was her own son. He loved that part of her very much, the only real thing in his life every time he was stripped bare from the facades he had to wear the entire day.

 

There was no reply back, so Hiro tugged his tie from his neck and walked to the living room. There, sleeping soundly on the couch with a glass of wine hanging dangerously from her fingers, laid his aunt. He couldn’t help but to smile at the scene as he cautiously walked to her. He then grabbed the glass from her fingers and placed it on the coffee table. The fire was burning nicely as it warmed the living room. It was the perfect place to fall asleep.

 

Hiro simply sat on the floor next to her as he looked at how relaxed she was at the moment. It always tugged his heartstrings when he realised that his aunt had went through a lot in her life to be who she was today, even if at the end of the day, she was known as Hiro Hamada’s aunt. She loved to bake, so she usually spent her time in the kitchen. Hiro loved her pastries. They lighted up his gloomiest days. It was the one thing that tasted closest to home, to his parents.

 

He laid his head at the edge of the couch and closed his eyes. He took in a deep breath and opened his eyes again. This moment right here was enough to fuel his warmth for another thousand years.

 

***

 

He didn’t know that he had ended up dozed off in the middle of it all. When the smell of breakfast reached him, he was wide awake on the floor with a blanket on him. He blinked a few times before he felt a yawn ripping through his lips. Then, he ran his fingers through his hair as he slowly sat up.

 

The smell of toasted bread and pancakes finally hit him hard and he couldn’t help but to sigh relaxed. After a while, he stood up and dragged the blanket with him before he rolled it and placed it on the couch. He glanced ahead to the entrance of the living room and took a minute to compose himself.

 

When he reached the kitchen, Cass had actually laid the table out with pancakes and a mug of coffee. Hiro couldn’t help but to smile wide before he sat down near the table and took hold of his fork. “Good morning, Aunt Cass,” Hiro greeted before he shoved the first forkful of pancakes into his mouth. Cass turned off the stove and untied her apron before she turned around and smiled at her nephew.

 

“Good morning to you too, Hiro,” she said. She placed the apron on the kitchen counter and made her way to the table before she sat down in front of Hiro. “You should’ve brushed your teeth at least.”

 

Hiro glanced up from his plate and gave her his sheepish smile though he heeded no attention to her advice and continued to eat. “I just like your pancakes too much.”

 

“Uh-huh,” she said as she eyed him carefully. Silence flowed into the scene as she poured herself a glass of orange juice. Hiro knew that something was on her mind when she leaned into her chair and started to stare at him. The young Hamada sighed before he looked at her and raised his eyebrows. She gave him a quick smile before she asked, “How was your night?”

 

Hiro immediately scowled at her before he looked down to his plate and continued to shove the pancakes into his mouth. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t ask that question.”

 

“Hiro,” Cass said with humour in her voice. “Not good?”

 

“Nope,” Hiro said as he finally decided to get this over with. “Not good at all so don’t bother asking. It’s just a waste of your time.”

 

She rolled her eyes at her nephew’s drama. “You always had a knack at exaggerating details.”

 

“I do not!” Hiro protested as he leaned into his chair and placed the fork at the edge of the plate. “I’m not exaggerating. It really was a horrible night.”

 

“Ah, being stuck as Tadashi’s lover is quite bad, isn’t it?” She had a sympathetic smile on her face. Hiro nodded before he rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“It was—annoying,” Hiro finally concluded. “It wasn’t fun, I mean, it would’ve been fun to win the best actor award but—with Tadashi, meh. I would rather swim with the sharks than to ever do that again.”

 

“But you might,” she pointed that information out. Hiro mentally shuddered at that thought as his scowl deepened on his face.

 

“Hopefully not,” Hiro said. “ _Hopefully_ by that time, the two _idiots_ would realise that this was all a bad idea and let me go.”

 

“The things they make you two do for the sake of their publicity,” she said with a frown of her own. Hiro agreed with her whole-heartedly. Though, he would be lying if he told her that he wasn’t expecting it. He knew fame came with a price and this was it. He lacked his own self-privacy, who he liked, how he dressed, what he ate, and who he ended up dating. His life was tied up from the start to the end unless he found a way to get out of this.

 

Until then, every move he made was front page news. It wasn’t a thrilling idea at all.

 

“It’s only for a few more months,” Hiro said, at the same time he reminded himself. “Then I can have my bachelor life again.”

 

Cass sighed before she looked at Hiro. “You know I only want the best for you, right?”

 

“Ah, not this again,” Hiro mumbled under his breath but he knew what his aunt was trying to say. “I know. I know that if I don’t want to do this anymore, I could walk out at any moment but Aunt Cass—as much as it’s a pain in the neck, its—it keeps my life entertaining. My life—it’ll be—less…lonely.”

 

Silence matched at both ends before Cass reached out to her nephew and placed her hand on the table. Hiro eyed the open hand before he placed his right hand on it. His aunt then squeezed their hands together before she gave him an encouraging smile. “The lab is waiting for you if you want it back, you know that. So, take it one step at a time. You can do it, Hiro.”

 

He knew the lab was waiting for him. He could leave his lifestyle and get back to his original life, to his town at San Fransokyo and never come back here again. But he couldn’t step into the lab without tearing up, not after what happened to his parents. Everything in that lab reminded him of them and it was like a sharp scalpel through the gut every time he remembered them.

 

He needed space. Two years was long enough space but he liked where he was now.

 

Besides, he wasn’t the brave guy everyone thought he was. He was him, he was still that young boy in his mind.

 

Not yet. One day, maybe, but not today.

 

Cass read that message loud and clear in the silence and squeezed their hands again.

 

***

 

He looked at himself in the dressing room mirror. He was about to go on live for an interview with the currently famous host in Hollywood, Danny Heyman, with Tadashi. He frowned deep at that thought. Another stupid interview about his ‘relationship’ with that man. It was already infuriating that he had to act like he loved standing next to him but every time he had to voice it out in his own words, he had to make sure he smiled and kept that lovey-dovey look in his eyes and not how sandy the sentence felt on his tongue.

 

A knock on the door had Hiro alerted that it was time to head to the backstage. He took in a deep breath before he nodded to himself and headed to the door. Once he was outside, the backstage manager dragged him to the edge of the set and wired the microphone around him. Then with a last touch of makeup, he was done.

 

Just as they moved away, he spotted Tadashi a few feet away from him. Hiro had to take a double look before he realised how—smart Tadashi looked in that suit. Huh. He never noticed it before but the taller man did look good in suits or formal wear. It was just so— _him_. Hiro felt the awkwardness of that thought catching him off guard before he shoved them to the back of his mind.

 

What the hell was that?

 

Yeah, _no_. Hiro wasn’t about to start complementing Tadashi about how he looked, even if it was all in his mind. Not now—not _ever_. Just in time, the host appeared on the set and the show was on air. Within minutes, Hiro had found himself smiling for the camera and had sat in front of the host before Tadashi was introduced a second later.

 

“So, Hiro and Tadashi,” the host, Danny, started with a dry look though he was smiling. Hiro tried to keep the look of menace out of his face and simply smiled back. “Dating. Together. Doing the woop-de-doo, in a relationship, or even some people, crudely I may suggest, call ‘f’-ing. You get what I mean, guys.”

 

Hiro felt his cheeks actually reddening at the blunt implication. That image alone made him wanted to hurl. Probably. Maybe. He shook away those thoughts from his mind as he tried to focus on the host and not at what the hell was wrong with the interviewer. “Two months, that’s quite long.”

 

“Not really,” Tadashi started catching Hiro off guard with the gentleness in his voice. He glanced at Tadashi and just in time, the taller man caught his eyes and gave him a warm smile. Hiro smiled back though he didn’t think he could ever fake that much warmness in his eyes even if his life depended on it. “It’s quite a short time for us.”

 

“Oh hoh!” Danny said with a leer. “Good, that’s how being in love is like! Am I right?”

 

“Sure,” Tadashi said with a shrug before he crossed his legs. “But we also enjoyed each other’s company, so time flies real fast when we’re together.”

 

As if on cue, Hiro felt his hand being taken into Tadashi’s and their fingers interlinked. A resounding ‘ _awws’_ filled the air. The young actor simply intertwined their fingers even closer and leaned into the chair as if he was comfortable with this.

 

Though, internally, he really wanted this to be over with.

 

“That’s definitely nice to hear,” Danny said before his eyes landed on Hiro. “So, Hiro, who confessed to whom? You or him?”

 

Hiro had heard of this question a million times before. He knew how it was done with. “Him.” It was simple as that because the people out there really believed that Tadashi was apparently the ‘boyfriend’ material type so obviously he would do things like this.

 

 _Obviously_.

 

Hiro really feared for the survival of humanity at the moment.

 

“It was just—you know, he’s always been a charmer, the way he talks, the way he is—and I—well, which sane person would say no to that face?” Hiro said as he smiled widely. He felt the fingers between him tightening almost like in a warning grip to not carry this off the limit. Hiro glanced over to Tadashi and returned the grip with a mocking grin. “I just love him too much to say no. I always did. Didn’t I, love?”

 

“Yes, you did,” Tadashi said though the twinkle in his eyes was a bit sharper today. It was as if Hiro was to take care of the limits he was about to cross. Hiro simply tightened his grip back painfully as a sign that Tadashi should just shut up and let this interview to be over fast. Tadashi didn’t retaliate.

 

“Pet names, now that’s another thing,” Danny said. “Who calls who what?”

 

“Depends,” Hiro answered smoothly before Tadashi could. “I call him a lot of things, you know, terms of endearing and stuff like that.” Tadashi shifted in his seat and Hiro found that he liked this. It was always him who had to deal with Tadashi talking about them but this time, Hiro actually found this quite—fun. He wondered if he could indirectly get on Tadashi’s nerve. He tried anyways. “Like darling, love, lump cakes, sugarplum, sweetie, honey, chubby cheeks,” Hiro said with pouty lips before he pinched Tadashi’s cheek with his free hand.

 

Tadashi’s eyes flashed annoyance at the exaggeration and Hiro triumphed inwardly. However, that joy was short-lived when Tadashi flashed him a devilish grin, stopping Hiro’s rant in half. “But only my name when we’re in bed together.”

 

Hiro’s eyes widened at that and his cheeks involuntarily, for the first time, went red. The impact was huge until Hiro closed his mouth and stared at Tadashi as if he couldn’t believe that this happened—on set. Tadashi glanced at him before he shrugged. “Well, woah!” Danny brought Hiro’s attention to the set as the young actor looked at the interviewer and composed himself immediately. “That was juicy.”

 

“Rest is behind closed doors, sorry,” Hiro said quickly before Tadashi could open his mouth.

 

Danny looked slightly disappointed but hell like he was about to hear about their pretend-private lives’ juicy details right in front of a million people watching. Yeah, no way man.

 

***

 

Once the interview was over, Hiro pulled the microphone away from himself and handed it over to the technician. He ran his fingers through his hair and pointedly decided that if he saw Tadashi again, he was going to shove his foot into that man’s mouth. Just as he wished, Tadashi was spotted a few feet away from him. Hiro had to refrain himself from attacking the older man until he was in a private space, so he sighed and rolled his shoulders.

 

Hiro then walked into his dressing room again before he picked his things up. Just as he was about to, the door to the dressing room opened and Tadashi walked in as if he was looking for something. Hiro glanced at him before he frowned. “What do you want?”

 

Tadashi looked at him before he rolled his eyes. “I’m searching for my necklace.”

 

“Necklace?” Hiro asked before he frowned deeper. Ah, it was that silver necklace he always wore, written in Japanese. He didn’t ask what it was about but he knew it meant a lot to the taller man. Tadashi found it soon afterwards and a smile of relief washed on his face immediately. Just before Tadashi could leave, Hiro stopped him. “Did you _have_ to say that?”

 

The older actor stopped in his tracks before he looked at Hiro. “Say what?”

 

“ _That_!” Hiro exclaimed as he scowled. “Seriously? ‘But only my name when we’re in bed together’? Like they needed to know that!”

 

“I didn’t start with all the non-existent pet names, Hiro,” he said dryly though there was a spark of humour in his eyes. Hiro tightened his jaw before he narrowed his eyes at the man.

 

“But you ended with the note that we’re sleeping together!” Hiro said. Tadashi simply sighed before he rolled his eyes.

 

“Isn’t that what everyone is thinking already when we announced we’re—dating?” Tadashi said with a pause. Hiro backtracked for a moment before he gaped.

 

“ _That_!” Hiro said as his face gradually reddened, his mind started to blurrily conjure up images of him and Tadashi—and a bed—Okay, stop now! Tadashi’s eyes narrowed slightly before he blinked his eyes and smiled. Though the smile seemed mocking than anything else.

 

“Ah, so you actually want that?” Tadashi asked as he took a step forward. Hiro immediately took a step back and glared at him. “Your face is all red. Don’t tell me you thought about it.”

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro warned. “Shut up. Just—shut the hell up before I make you.”

 

For a moment, Hiro thought Tadashi was going to retort but after a second, he dropped his act and simply ran his fingers through his hair. “I have somewhere else to be,” he announced before he looked at the young actor. “Goodbye.”

 

Hiro watched him walk out and once the door clicked closed, Hiro had to take in a deep breath. Just then, he realised that his heartbeat was racing against his chest and his face was still red. The image was still blurry in his mind too. Before the image could get sharper, he pushed away the thoughts, he grabbed his things and quickly walked out of the room.

 

Once he made his way to his car, Hiro had to will himself to take another deep breath in. That was—unexpected. Hiro had countered Tadashi’s sly comments all the time but this felt—different. Hiro glowered at the thought that this relationship thing was affecting him already and immediately pulled out the lists of reason to why he hated Tadashi to the core.

 

It calmed him down bit as he got into his car.

 

God, he needed this to be over. It was getting too close to being uncomfortable.

 

He just couldn’t wait for this public stunt to end.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's quite a short chapter because I'm just testing out this idea. Hm, what did you guys think? I don't know if I did well, so uhm, forgive me? If you guys want me to continue, do let me know and if you liked it, leave a kudos~! Until next time (hopefully?) -Krystal


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. 
> 
> A/N: Well--hey? //shotdead// I'm so sorry, I was just busy with my projects and etc and you know, normal excuses. But here's the second chapter? I'm glad you guys liked this idea, and to be honest, I hope I get to write this well. And here, it is, the second chapter~ I'll try and update fast though next time, but uh, until then--enjoy? Also, I tried. I did. ahaha... Besides that, thank you also to those who have commented, kudos, bookmarked and subscribed~! Until next time~! -Krystal

 

 

Hiro woke up to the sound of his smartphone ringing. He groaned under his breath though he was lazy to actually pick up his phone. The young actor wanted nothing more but to sleep, to close his eyes and go back to his dreamland. So, he let the phone ring on.

 

Once silence greeted his bedroom, he sighed softly and turned to his right side so he could fall asleep again. For a few minutes, he was about to do just that when—his phone started ringing all over again. Hiro groaned louder before he pushed himself to sit down and grabbed his phone from the desk next to his bed.

 

Without checking the caller ID, he answered it with a gruff and an annoyed, “Hello?”

 

“Good, you picked up,” his agent’s voice filtered through the speakers. Hiro’s eyebrows twitched before he pulled the phone from his ears and looked at the time. It was barely seven in the morning. The young actor felt the annoyance pulsing through his vein morphing into lividness.

 

What the hell was he doing waking Hiro up at this time of the day?

 

“You better have a good reason to why I’m waking up at seven in the morning to answer you, Gordon,” Hiro snapped. There was an awkward silence from the other side before his agent cleared his throat.

 

“You’re to meet with Jack and James later,” Gordon said. Hiro raised his eyebrows as he felt a headache coming on. Jack and James were the ones, the managers of the company he was representing, the idiots who forced Hiro to be in a fake-relationship with Tadashi. What more could they possibly want? He sighed loudly before he rubbed his face.

 

“Why?” Hiro asked curtly. He rubbed the back of his neck next to work out the kinks there.

 

“They just want to talk to you about the interview last night,” Gordon said. “Meeting at three later.”

 

“Fine,” Hiro said dryly. “Can I sleep now?”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Gordon said as if he was used to this by now. “Just don’t be late, kid.”                

 

Before Hiro could protest on being called a kid, the line went dead. He rolled his eyes as he pulled the phone away from his ear and tossed it next to him. Well, this was just great, wasn’t it? He wondered briefly on what was there to be said about the interview last night.

 

Tadashi’s stupid move made Hiro annoyed and flustered at the same time. The implication that they were actually sleeping together bothered the young actor a lot more than he thought it would. They were just pretending, thus everything said to be happening behind closed doors didn’t actually happen and yet, Hiro didn’t like it that people all over the world thought he was sleeping with that man.

 

It was just weird.

 

Maybe it was also because Hiro never really experienced intimacy.

 

The young actor frowned at that thought. Sure, he hadn’t actually liked someone much to think about it. He was nineteen, wasn’t it supposed to be normal to crave for those things? To kiss someone, to touch someone, to be with someone, it all sounded so foreign to him. It felt almost alien-like, as if this was the first time it crossed his mind.

 

And—

 

Hiro realised, it was.

 

It was the first time he realised that he never actually thought about these things before. Sure, there was a stage in his life where he liked a girl before but—that was a long time ago. He just lost everything in the romance department after—after his parents died.

 

His heart closed off, his barriers grew tall and strong and his mind deleted anything that wasn’t related to his work. He was suddenly uninterested. Though, then what Tadashi had said yesterday shouldn’t have set him off like that.

 

And yet it did.

 

The mere thought of allowing Tadashi to do these things to him didn’t settle well in his mind. He wasn’t about to give up anything important to him, all of his firsts, to someone like Tadashi. It wasn’t going to happen, not now, not ever.

 

Then, he halted his thoughts because he had to remind himself—this was all make-believe. This wasn’t real therefore, things like that wasn’t going to happen.

 

He sighed out in slight apprehension and confusion. He ran his fingers through his hair and decided to just take a shower. He had lost his sleepiness devouring himself in those weird thoughts. His mind sometimes liked to take a detour to weird-land, and this was just one of them, so Hiro pushed away those thoughts to the side and didn’t look at them anymore.

 

This was all just getting to him that was all. It had been two months after all. It would be fine.

 

Another four more months, then he would end it all.

 

And who knows? Maybe—he would be able to finally get back home too.

 

He closed his eyes for a moment before he took in a deep breath. Then, he pushed himself up from the bed and walked to his bathroom.

 

Home. Yeah, probably.

 

***

 

He jogged down the stairs and immediately walked into the kitchen. He saw his aunt already looking through her recipe book. She looked up from the book and her eyes widened in comical shock to realise her nephew was up already, freshened up and ready to leave somewhere. Hiro simply rolled his eyes at her face and walked past her to the cabinets.

 

“Good morning, Aunt Cass,” Hiro greeted as he pulled open the doors of the top right cabinet and took out his favourite cereal box. His aunt continued to stare at him for a few seconds before she closed her book and leaned against the counter.

 

“Someone’s up early,” she said before she crossed her arms. “You have somewhere to be?”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said as he grabbed a bowl and a spoon next. “Milk, please.”

 

His aunt simply smiled before she walked to the refrigerator to get her nephew the milk carton. Handing it over to Hiro, the young actor took it and poured the milk into his cereal bowl. “The agency called, wanted to talk about the interview last night,” he said as he shoved a spoonful of the cereal into his mouth.

 

Cass sighed disapprovingly at the way he was eating though she didn’t correct him. “Ah, right,” Cass said as Hiro glanced at her and raised his eyebrows.

 

“What?” he asked once he swallowed his cereal. “What’s with that tone?”

 

“Nothing,” Cass said as she smiled. “Just, uhm, didn’t know that the boundary of this fake-relationship extended to sleeping with each other.”

 

Hiro almost choked on his own saliva and he was lucky that he wasn’t eating anything at the moment. His face involuntarily reddened as he looked at his aunt and took in a sharp breath. Hiro forgot that the interview last night was live for everyone to see. “Aunt Cass,” he said though he tried not to sound whiny. “It wasn’t my fault that Tadashi decided to end the whole entire romantic liaison thing topic with us—” but Hiro didn’t finish it. He couldn’t. It just—sounded weird to him.

 

Cass blinked at the abrupt end of his sentence. “Hiro,” she said gently. “It’s alright. I know it isn’t true.”

 

“It isn’t!” Hiro said as he took in a deep breath. “And it’s uncomfortable too.”

 

Cass nodded understandingly at Hiro before she gave him a smile. “A few more months, am I right?”

 

“Yes, thank God for that,” he muttered before he went back to eating his cereal. His aunt chuckled before she shook her head and turned around to look through her cookbook once more.

 

***

 

The young actor arrived at the company twenty minutes before it was three in the afternoon. He always made sure that he was punctual to meetings or conferences, mostly because he knew he was brought up that way by his family. It was only right to continue down their teachings and practise them in everyday life situations, such as this one.

 

Hiro leaned in his driver’s seat, just settling his fingers on the steering wheel. He knew he should turn off the ignition and get out of the car. The elevator ride itself would take up time. But he didn’t feel like doing this. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Gordon, or James and Jack, or even Tadashi. He just wanted to be in his own little world for a while.

 

A wash of loneliness took over him from within and he had to take in a deep breath to calm himself down. There were times when he felt like he was ready to leave this entire thing behind and head back to a life he was once comfortable with. But every time he tried, he realised he couldn’t do it.

 

Not because he didn’t have enough willpower to do it, it was just because—well—he didn’t know why. But the loneliness baring him bare for others to see was maybe the reason why he hadn’t been back to San Fransokyo for a little over two years and counting. So, he let himself get swept by the waves of camera flashes and front-page news scandals.

 

It made his life much more interesting and less lonely.

 

The silence faded away to the background every time he was in front of the cameras and public expectations. It was helping him heal for once. And once he was healed, he guessed he had no more reason to stay. Just sometimes, at times like these, he wished he would heal a little bit faster.

 

He sighed and shook those thoughts out of his head before he got out of the car after turning the engine off. After making sure he had locked his car, he walked to the tall building, not before he took in another deep breath just to muster up his self-confidence.

 

As he guessed, once he reached the conference room, it was three in the afternoon on the dot. Gordon was already there, looking through some things in his phone before he looked up and grinned at Hiro. “You’re here,” he said as he stood up. Hiro smiled back at him before he walked to where his agent was and sat next to him.

 

“Well, you practically dragged me out of my bed this morning,” Hiro retorted though without venom. Gordon simply rolled his eyes before he sat back down on his chair and snorted.

 

“You needed the alarm clock,” he said. Hiro bit back the sarcasm because he knew his agent was right. Flicking his wrist dismissively, the door to the conference room opened and Tadashi walked in with his agent, Henry.

 

“Sorry,” Tadashi apologised as he walked to a seat opposite of Hiro and sat down. “Got caught up with something.”

 

“You’re on time,” Gordon said as he smiled at Tadashi and greeted Henry. Hiro simply glanced at Tadashi once before he looked elsewhere.

 

“Why are we here?” Tadashi asked.

 

“About the interview last night,” Henry said as his slight British-accent rang through. “Apparently the amount of fans who had adored you two being together had doubled since then.”

 

Hiro’s eyes widened at the words as he looked at Henry. “Seriously?” he asked as the light-brown haired man simply nodded.

 

“It seems so,” he said.

 

“But it’s only been twenty four hours since the airing,” Hiro said slowly before his eyes narrowed at Henry. “Is it because of what Tadashi said last night?”

 

Henry’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead before he glanced at the taller actor. “It seems so,” he said with a nod and Hiro couldn’t help but to growl low under his breath.

 

“Great, just great,” Hiro muttered darkly under his breath. “It’s enough people are speculating about what I do with Tadashi—but for it to be really confirmed, it’ll just make my life peachy. Perfect.”

 

“Why is this even bothering you so much?” Tadashi asked and Hiro looked at him. The taller man had a glint of amusement in his eyes and a smile worked on his lips, though Hiro knew it was mocking than anything else. “It was just words, Hiro. Like we always say to the cameras.”

 

Hiro didn’t know how to respond to that, and he didn’t want to either. He didn’t want to tell Tadashi that the reason he was uncomfortable with the speculation was because he had no prior experience in the love department. Enough about the sex itself, heck, he hadn’t even kissed anybody.

 

Before Hiro could retort, the doors opened and Jack and James walked in. They both looked as smart as ever, Hiro concluded in his mind as they took their seats. Then the conference meeting began. “The interview last night,” Jack started with a little twitch from the corner of his lips. “It was splendid.”

 

“Especially with Tadashi’s remark,” James added with a nod. Hiro had to keep his blush in check, and the way he felt like murdering someone, preferably the two goons in front of him. “It boosted you two’s image by twenty percent.”

 

“And that means, people will be searching us out more in the future, so good business right there,” Jack confirmed a little later. Hiro simply stared at them blankly.

 

“Right,” Hiro said. “So, why are we here?”

 

Jack simply smirked. “Easy. Since it’s been confirmed that you two are in a more intimate level with each other—”

 

“Which we’re not, don’t forget,” Hiro cut him off. “Because if what you’re suggesting is what I’m thinking, I’m not going to do it.”

 

James frowned at that. “I don’t think you know what we’re going to say, Hiro,” he said. “Unless you developed a mental ability to read minds.”

 

The sarcasm was spot on and Hiro had to applaud this man for his sharp mouth. But that didn’t mean anything when it came to Hiro because this was his virtue these two idiots were talking about. He wasn’t about to let fame and attention change what he held dear to himself. Jack took a few seconds in before he nodded at the silence.

 

“I’m just asking you two to be more—close with each other during public,” he said. “Kisses, hugs, hand holding, just basic PDA that people would find endearing to read about, to watch.”

 

Hiro cringed at the words because the amount of PDA they had was already making him squeamish. Hiro opened his mouth to protest but closed it immediately when he caught Gordon’s eyes. His agent simply shook his head and told him to hold on for a few more minutes so they could solve this out later on. He mentally thanked his agent before he settled back in his seat.

 

“Kisses?” Henry questioned. Hiro glanced at Tadashi and the taller man simply took in the conversation as if he was absorbing the facts. Then, he glanced at Hiro and blinked. The young actor stared back for a few seconds before he saw a spark of amusement in the taller man’s eyes. Then, he smiled and Hiro had to look away at the sudden reaction from the man.

 

What was _that_ all about?

 

He closed his eyes briefly as Tadashi’s smile started to stick in his mind like glue. He had to examine the smile a bit more closely in his head later on, he told himself before he opened his eyes and focused back to this ridiculous meeting. “Yes, kisses, not lips to cheeks,” Jack clarified. “I mean kissing. Mouth-to-mouth.”

 

The young actor froze in his seat. His heart started to hammer against his chest in panic. “But Jack—”

 

“What I’m trying to tell is, do it until to the level you both are comfortable with,” Jack said. “The story needs to sell. In order for it to sell, to make it believable, act this out. These are your roles, you have the scripts in your head, now just act it out.”

 

Hiro couldn’t deny his logic. He really couldn’t but to act this out? He felt like he was about to cross a line he wouldn’t dare to cross in a million years. He didn’t dare to glance at Tadashi. He didn’t even protest but he did show his displeasure on his face. He sighed and rubbed his face. “One day, I’m going to sue you,” Hiro muttered under his breath though nobody heard him.

 

James simply smiled at them. “So, that’s all then. Hopefully we’ll get even more reviews like this one. Good job, boys.” With that, Jack and James stood up and exited the room. A few seconds of awkward silence washed in before Hiro shuddered.

 

“Those two are idiots,” Hiro said as he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s stupid to do this. I don’t understand why I’m the one who have to be with— _him_!”

 

Tadashi frowned slightly at the words before he crossed his arms against his chest. “I’m in the same boat as you are, Hiro.”

 

“Yeah, and why is that?” he sneered. “They’re asking us to kiss, Tadashi. Why the hell are you so calm?”

 

The older man simply stared at Hiro for a few seconds before he looked away. “I’m calm because I know this is all an act. I didn’t freak out because this isn’t real,” he said before he looked back at Hiro. “But it’s not to you, isn’t it? You don’t like me touching you because you think it counts as something.”

 

“Counts as—oh my god, Tadashi, can you be even more delusional?” Hiro barked out as he sat down harshly on his chair once more. Gordon sighed before he looked at Henry and pointed to the door with his eyes.

 

Henry simply nodded before he stood up and clasped Tadashi’s shoulder. “We’ll be going first,” Henry said as Hiro looked at him. “You two need to talk this out. We’ll call you both later.”

 

“It’ll be fine, Hiro,” Gordon said as he looked at the young actor and smiled. ‘I’ll make sure of it,’ was left unsaid but Hiro couldn’t help but to smile at the man for the hidden words. Once they both left the room, Hiro promptly started to ignore Tadashi. He should leave. He really should. But Tadashi was staring at him and the longer he kept quiet, the more uncomfortable Hiro got.

 

“What?” he snapped as he looked at the man. “Why are you staring at me?”

 

Tadashi remained quiet for a minute before he sighed and licked his lips. “If it’ll make you feel any better, I won’t be doing anything more than you’d like me to do, alright?” His voice was gentle and patient, as if he was talking to a five-year-old scared little boy. Hiro was taken aback at the gentleness and he had to blink a few times before he frowned.

 

Was Tadashi making fun of him?

 

He felt confusion and slight apprehension working in his heart. “I don’t need you to treat me like I’m fragile, Tadashi,” he spit out. “I don’t need you to treat me like a girl.”

 

“God, Hiro,” Tadashi started, this time the calmness was gone and replacing it was slight irritation. “I wasn’t trying to make it sound like I’m making fun of you.”

 

“You aren’t?” Hiro quipped sarcastically. “Oh my bad, I just didn’t think you being nice all of a sudden were an everyday thing. What? You say this now and the next thing I know, you’d be using that little advantage to the maximum to ruin me. Is that it? I won’t fall for it.”

 

“You sound like a child, Hiro,” Tadashi said as he frowned deep. “I was trying to be considerate since you looked so scared a minute ago about the prospect of me touching you!”

 

“This whole prospect is scary, damn you, Tadashi,” Hiro blurted out as he stood up and glared at the taller man. “ _I_ sound like a child? What about you? You sound so eager, and that’s not normal. You hate me and I hate you. We’re not supposed to agree to this easily.”

 

“I’m not,” Tadashi said as he stood up as well. “But I’m doing this because I want to keep on working on my carrier and if that means I have to be dragged along in this charade with you, I’ll do it. But not if I have to hear you whine every single minute about how stupid this whole thing is because I know, Hiro. But we can’t do anything about it—so why don’t we just try our best to sell the story and then be on our way, okay?”

 

Hiro was stunned at the words. The older man never really lashed out like that before. Before Hiro could argue, Tadashi had stood up and looked at Hiro. “I’ll be going now,” he said and the young actor felt a wave of coldness hitting him hard. “See you.”

 

Then, Tadashi left him alone in the room as the door slammed closed. Hiro took in a shaky breath as he furrowed his eyebrows at what happened. Tadashi had looked— _upset_. It wasn’t upset, no, Hiro slashed that thought out of his mind, he looked irritated. Hiro bit his inner cheek as he sat back down on the chair for the umpteenth time.

 

Was it wrong to actually feel panicked about this?

 

Of course it wasn’t wrong, he told himself. Tadashi was at fault for not feeling weirded out. He gingerly raised his fingers and traced his lips. He admitted to Tadashi that it was scary, scary to think that someone else was about to control his life and tell him what to do and not to do with someone. It was as if he was a puppet and he disliked the feeling.

 

But Tadashi was so serious a minute ago, talking about how he wanted to achieve something in his life even if it meant he had to be dragged into this. With Hiro nonetheless and that struck a chord somewhere in his heart. It made the young actor confused because—sure, they hated each other but to the point where Tadashi simply despised his presence to have made a face like that? That sounded unlikely.

 

Why?

 

Because, as much as Hiro would deny the existence out of this later on, when he would be in his own personal space, all alone in his room curled up into a ball, he would admit that the reason he was doing so well was _because_ of Tadashi. And sure, he hated the man because of his absolute cockiness in everything he said and done, but it was also because Tadashi’s world sounded so much better than his.

 

The older man’s life was much more beautiful than Hiro’s. It was a life made for the Kings. It was a life that many people craved but only a few got, and this excluded Hiro because even if he was living a luxurious life, he would give away his world to have his loneliness removed.

 

He guessed he hated that part of the man. But reluctantly, he had to agree that Tadashi was a nice man, maybe not to him but Hiro had seen his generosity before. He adored children and he was good with senior citizens. He loved helping people and Damnit, he was the sole goodness of mankind itself.

 

But he never showed that side to Hiro, only malice and blank stares, so Hiro showed the same back to him only with more emotion. But just now, those feelings he felt from Tadashi was too real, too deep and it cut Hiro apart from inside because—to be honest—Tadashi was his rival and enemy and he was the reason that kept the loneliness at bay.

 

Now that he might hate Hiro for real, to the point where he wished for Hiro to be gone, the loneliness was threatening to spill over. He blinked away the slight terror in his heart and breathed out shakily.

 

No, no, that wasn’t—he wasn’t going to allow Tadashi to win this game right here.

 

Hiro stood up angrily and slammed the chair under the desk harshly.

 

Whatever, it wasn’t as if he wanted to meet Tadashi in the first place. If he was hated to that extent, then he would learn to hate him back with the same level of malice.

 

He left the place with a dark note in his head.

 

***

 

“Hiro?”

 

The young actor looked up from where he was staring at the ground to her—his best friend since he had entered this world of fame. She was a famous actress, mostly to have acted in science fiction films and so far, all of them were a big hit. Yet, she had the sense of humbleness around her and she was the one who was there for Hiro, earning his trust and keeping him in track.

 

“Hey,” Hiro smiled at her as she exited her set and went to him. Before he could comprehend on what was happening, she wrapped her arms around him and dragged him into a hug. “G—Gogo!”

 

“God, Hiro!” she said before she released and looked at his face. “How long has it been since you’ve visited me, huh?” He opened his mouth to retaliate when she smacked the side of his head harshly still playfully at the same time.

 

“Hey!” Hiro protested as he rubbed his head and mock glared at her. “What was that for?”

 

“Did you just _ask_ me why you got smacked?” Gogo asked as she frowned and took a step back. She cocked her hips to the side and crossed her arms. “Seriously?”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes before he dropped his hands to his sides and grinned. “I know, I’m sorry. I was busy, you know how it is.”

 

“Yeah,” she said slowly and a leer made way on her face. “Especially with you being with Tadashi and all.”

 

Hiro groaned under his breath as he glared at her, this time there was no mock. “Gogo, this isn’t funny.”

 

She bit her bottom lip from smiling wider than she was before she took in a deep breath and straightened herself. “Well, it is,” she said as she chuckled and slapped his shoulder. “Let’s go and get coffee or something. Then, you can tell me all about how it feels like being Tadashi’s lover.”

 

“Gogo!” Hiro followed her nevertheless as he sighed loudly. “It’s not what it seems and you know that!”

 

“I know,” she said as she rolled her eyes at the young actor. “Just—come on, Hiro.”

 

***

 

“Well,” Gogo started though she didn’t continue; only ending her thoughts with a shrug. Hiro groaned under his breath as he sipped his coffee and leaned in his chair. He glanced outside of the windows of the small café and wondered briefly why he thought talking to Gogo was going to help.

 

“You’re no help sometimes,” Hiro said. Gogo simply blinked before a smile broke on her face as if she was complimented. The young actor rolled his eyes before he sighed and continued to drink his coffee.

 

“Hiro, you told me you don’t like him, and I quote, ‘I hate his guts’ on more than one occasion, so he got irritated, big deal,” Gogo said with a shrug. “Wasn’t it always like that between you two?”

 

“You don’t—you don’t _understand_ , Gogo,” Hiro said as he sighed and placed the cup of coffee on the table and rubbed his face. “I don’t _really_ hate him, I mean, I _do_ , but I don’t really hate his existence, something like that.”

 

Gogo simply stared at him for a few seconds before she huffed out a breath and leaned in her seat. “Your feelings for that man are complicated.”

 

Hiro scowled at that. “These aren’t ‘feelings’, Gogo. These are—you could call it, mild appreciation. Mild. _Very mild_.”

 

“And when he acted like that with you, what? You got scared he would leave you?” Gogo asked sceptically and Hiro bit back his tongue from calling her an idiot. The aftermath of that wouldn’t be so good.

 

“I’m not _scared_ of him leaving me,” Hiro stressed out. “I just—never mind. You know what, forget it. I shouldn’t even be stressing myself over this.”

 

Gogo wanted to say something else but as soon as she opened her mouth, she closed it back. Hiro looked at her carefully before he sighed and looked out of the café windows. It was a beautiful day and he guessed he should be enjoying that instead of dwelling on what Tadashi had said. It wasn’t worth it because the reality was that they both were rivals and nothing more or less.

 

Maybe less in Tadashi’s eyes but—

 

Hiro closed his eyes momentarily and took in a huge breath.

 

 _Whatever_.

 

***

 

That very night, Hiro had to attend this charity event of some sort and to be honest, all he wanted to do was lie on his bed and forget about all of this ever happening. However, when Gordon appeared at his doorstep tapping on his wrist watch, the young actor had to get on with the show and show up to the charity event.

 

“Now, I’ll be leaving first,” Gordon said as he walked out of Hiro’s room once the young actor was all dressed up. “Tadashi will be picking you up.”

 

Hiro looked at the man from the full-view mirror and frowned. “No,” he said. “I’ll drive on my own.”

 

“Hiro,” Gordon said slowly. “There will be cameras and crowds, this isn’t a question. Tadashi’s going to pick you up.”

 

The young actor turned around and glared at his agent, suddenly feeling irritated that he was once again dragged into this mess. Gordon noticed his emotions playing on his face before he shook his head. “Fine,” Hiro finally said with a huff before he waved his hand at his agent dismissively. Gordon eyed him warily for a second before he nodded and walked out of his room.

 

The young actor then glanced at his own face once more and for a second, he felt numb. This loneliness that was crowding his mind, he wondered briefly when it would be that it would be gone. Hiro knew that one day, he had to go back to where he came from. He couldn’t keep on running away because he was slowly losing touch of his own reality.

 

Currently, this person he was seeing was not himself. It was someone else, someone scared of taking chances—someone— _timid_. He hated this look on his face. He really did but he couldn’t seem to rearrange his face to make himself look better. He then took in a deep breath before he nodded to himself. He adjusted his clothes one last time before he turned around and walked out of his room.

 

His aunt was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. He smiled at her before she gave out her own smile. Before he could say anything else, she placed a hand on his shoulder and halted him. After a moment, Hiro raised his eyebrows because his aunt suddenly looked—different. A bit more caring, and a bit more understanding.

 

“Be careful,” she said slowly and Hiro nodded. She always told him that what he saw out there wasn’t exactly how it was. Hiro knew that by heart after he got his own taste of this reality. Cass was always worried for him and in some way, Hiro was worried for himself too. After a minute, she moved a step back and told him to get a move on it.

 

Hiro took in a deep breath before he smiled at his aunt one last time and walked to the front door. Then, he opened it, the cold breeze immediately halting him once more from taking a step outside of this place. He always felt this deep tick like something was about to go off inside of him every time he left his comfort.

 

It was ticking now as he spoke.

 

He ran his hand down his face before he shook those thoughts off. Just as he was about to take another step forward, his eyes caught on the familiar red car, parked in front of his house. Leaning against the passenger door was his escort for the evening. Hiro had to take a step back when the first thing he realised about Tadashi was how—different he looked tonight.

 

‘But—it wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen him wearing a suit before,’ Hiro muttered lamely in his head. But there was something different around Tadashi and the young actor couldn’t really point what it was out. So, he pushed those sudden weird thoughts to the back of his head as he walked down the porch and headed to the taller man. Tadashi was busy with his phone for a second before he looked up from the device, his clear hazel eyes caught Hiro’s ones.

 

For a second, Hiro thought he saw something looming in those eyes but just as fast as it appeared, it disappeared. “Hiro,” he said as the young actor looked away from him. The sudden flash of words and how irritated Tadashi looked pushed into his mind. He had to keep himself from wincing at the sharp words and sighed slightly. There was something in the silence as Hiro shifted from one foot to the other.

 

He didn’t know what to do for the first time in his life.

 

After what Tadashi had said, Hiro didn’t know how to act with this man, especially now that he knew he was a real nuisance to him. The confusion once again wedged in his mind to why he should even be so bothered about it. It was Tadashi who broke the silence as he said, “Come on, we’re going to be late.”

 

Hiro glanced at him as the taller actor pushed himself away from the passenger door and walked around the car to get to the driver’s seat. There were many retorts in his mind, most of them ranging from ‘I know, jerk’ to ‘Shut the hell up, Tadashi. Stop acting as if you wanted to go to that stupid event in the first place’, but strangely, Hiro felt like someone locked his lips up. Wordlessly, he got into the car and closed the door.

 

Tadashi buckled up before he started his car. This wasn’t the first time Tadashi had picked him up. In fact, Hiro practically memorised how this car looked from outside and inside. That explained how frequent the taller man had picked him up. It wasn’t as if Hiro wanted to get into the car, but mostly because it required him to act as if he was willing to get a ride from Tadashi for the press, for the entertainment of everyone else.

 

He cringed at those words, realising how hollow it made him feel. How manipulated it was actually starting to sound. But Tadashi had made it clear that afternoon at how he was willing to do it, for his carrier, for himself, even if Hiro wasn’t on board with it. As they drove, Hiro kept silent and watched the scenery passing by him on his right.

 

“You’re quiet,” Tadashi started after a minute of this prolonged silence. Hiro glanced at Tadashi from the windows before he leaned away from it and into his seat. It was true, Hiro was exceptionally quiet tonight. Usually, Hiro would complain how stupid this whole ordeal was and Tadashi would’ve snapped at some parts of it before they would end up arguing.

 

Somehow, it was their thing.

 

So, this wasn’t normal. Hiro knew that. He should act like he usually did but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to it—not since he realised how much of a real trouble he was to the older man. God, he growled in his mind. This wasn’t supposed to get to him! He frowned deep as he glared at Tadashi from the corner of his eyes before he huffed out.

 

“Look, if you’re still upset about the extra PDA thing,” Tadashi started. “We don’t have to do it.”

 

Hiro gritted his teeth as a sudden spike of irritation darted through his mind. “Don’t act so noble, Tadashi. You can drop the act when we’re alone.” His voice sounded clipped and he knew he was acting up all over again but—he couldn’t push down this bitterness that was clawing in his mind. The extra-PDA thing was another thing he was upset over, but somehow what Tadashi had said bothered him even more.

 

He felt like a broken record, repeating what the man had said over and over in his head.

 

Tadashi huffed out this time though it sounded resigned. “I’m not,” Tadashi said. “I’m just giving you an option. There’re still boundaries, you know.”

 

“Don’t you think I know that?” Hiro snapped as he sat up straighter and looked at Tadashi. “I don’t need you to _give_ me options. If I don’t like what you’re doing, I’ll make you stop, with or without the cameras.”

 

Tadashi remained quiet for a second before he frowned and furrowed his eyebrows. “Okay, fine,” he said with a shrug. Hiro frowned deeper at that easy dismissal. “Then why are you sulky?”

 

A pang of something hit him as he licked his lips. “I’m not sulky!” he said as his eyes sharpened. They stopped at the traffic lights when it turned red, Tadashi taking in a deep breath and looking at Hiro in the eyes. His frown lightened and he raised his eyebrows.

 

“Really? You’re definitely pouty then,” he said and for a second, Hiro was a bit taken aback at the fleeting attempt to make a joke. Confusion crowded his mind and the young actor had to take a few seconds to figure out what was going on with Tadashi.

 

“What?” Hiro asked finally, still unable to formulate an answer to the sudden change in Tadashi’s behaviour. “Was that—a _joke_?”

 

Tadashi’s cheek slightly reddened as he cleared his throat and leaned into his seat, looking away from Hiro. He rubbed the back of his neck for a second before he said, “Guess it didn’t come out as a joke.”

 

“ _What_?” Hiro said again, baffled slightly. Okay, this was weird. Why had Tadashi went from irritated to trying to be civil with him even when there weren’t any cameras around? He tried to join the dots in his head but he didn’t know what to make of this. “ _Why_?” he asked after a second and suddenly, he sounded like a five-year-old kid who was too scared to hear the answer.

 

Tadashi remained silent again before he sighed gently. “Nothing, forget it, I just wanted to know why you’re so quiet and sulky,” Tadashi said. Hiro rolled his eyes as he bit his inner cheek from lashing out that Tadashi might indeed have some bipolar disease.

 

“None of your business,” Hiro hissed out. “Don’t poke in my business, bastard. None of your damn business why I sulk or pout or cry.”

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi started. “I’m not trying to argue with you tonight.”

 

Hiro clenched his jaw as he looked away from the older man. “Whatever,” he said as he looked out of the windows. “I’m not worth your time. You’re not worth my time. So, let’s just not talk, okay?” It came out more tired than anything else and Hiro cursed in his mind for sounding weak.

 

“ _Hiro_ ,” Tadashi started but then a honk caught him off guard. Hiro glanced in front and realised that the lights were green. The older man didn’t say anything after that as he started to drive them away from there, but there was some kind of recognition in the air.

 

Hiro didn’t know what it was but he didn’t stick around long enough to find out. Just as Tadashi had reached the charity event, there were already paparazzi and news reporters standing by and flashing their cameras into the car. Hiro had to school his face and took in a deep breath. He didn’t even wait for Tadashi as he opened the car and got out, smiling and changing his entire demeanour to fit for the night.

 

***

 

The problem with these things weren’t for the countless fake smiles, the pretend lovesick looks or even being questioned by majority of the people how they fell for each other. The problem in these things was trying not to get too into character. Hiro was a professional actor for a reason. He never mixed his emotions with his characters personally before.

 

But when it wasn’t on set or in front of the cameras, when it was just around with real people like in this event, emotions had to be mixed in for realistic effects. That was why he found himself smiling at the founder of this charity event, listening to what he was saying while his right hand was being hugged by another from Tadashi.

 

Their fingers interlinked and in some ways, it just fit in perfectly as if they were meant to be held together like this. This wasn’t the first time he had felt this way whenever they held hands, but this was also wasn’t the first time he denied it. He shoved the thoughts to the back of his head as he laughed, trying to feign interest in the topic before the man had to leave, saying something about needed to attend other guests.

 

“Head along, we’ll be fine,” Hiro said with a smile. The man nodded before he patted Tadashi on the shoulder and walked away from them. The young actor had to restrain himself from sighing in relief that he finally left. Then, uneasiness settled in when he realised that he was now with no distraction from thinking about how their fingers intertwined like this.

 

For a minute, they stood there without saying anything before Tadashi rolled his shoulder and tugged Hiro to a corner. The young actor mentally frowned as he reluctantly followed the man. “Here,” Tadashi said as he took a glass of champagne and handed it over to Hiro before taking one for himself.

 

“Thanks,” Hiro mumbled as he took it and sipped on the cool drink. They stood there for a second before Hiro broke their intertwined fingers and took his hand for himself. Tadashi took a step back all of a sudden as if he hadn’t realised he was doing this and simply continued to sip on his champagne. After that little talk in the car, Hiro couldn’t really place why the air suddenly shifted.

 

Tadashi didn’t snap at him, or growl, or even showcase one of his famous ‘Hiro, I’m irritated with you right now’ look. The young actor started to think that maybe, what he said got to Tadashi as well. But really, shouldn’t that make him happy? He sighed once more before he silently watched the scene in front of him. “Alright, enough,” Hiro said after a while as Tadashi looked at him and raised his eyebrows. “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“Huh?” Tadashi asked as he shoved his free hand into his pants pocket. “Wrong?”

 

“With you, yes,” Hiro said slightly irritated. “You’re doing this weird-vibe thing. It’s annoying so stop it.”

 

“Weird-vibe thing?” Tadashi asked as his eyebrows rose higher. “You’re delusional if you think you can sense my vibe, Hiro.” Hiro snorted at that as he rolled his eyes.

 

“Fine, whatever, just stop buzzing it whenever I’m around,” Hiro said though he knew he sounded like a petulant child. Tadashi huffed his breath but it didn’t sound he was annoyed. Hiro risked a glance and frowned slightly when he saw the amused look on his face. “What?”

 

“Nothing,” Tadashi said after a while. “Just, you haven’t been yourself this whole time—until now.”

 

Hiro had to take a step back from the words as he stared at Tadashi for a minute. He knew his eyes were wide as saucers and his lips were apart gently. It shocked him that Tadashi would say that, as if he knew Hiro all his life. “Don’t say things like that,” Hiro finally said, as he looked away, refraining himself from stomping on Tadashi’s foot. “You don’t know me.”

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi after a minute as Hiro heard the sigh again, this time, it sounded a bit—defeated. Hiro looked at him as Tadashi sipped on his champagne before he muttered, “What a shame.”

 

 _What_?

 

Before Hiro could ask what the hell that meant, Tadashi’s eyebrows once again shot up and his eyes widened as if he had spotted someone. Hiro looked at the man before he looked at where Tadashi was staring. For a second, he didn’t know what he was looking at until—he realised who it was.

 

“Honey,” Tadashi said as she stood in front of them. Hiro had to take a few seconds to analyse this thing he was feeling as he looked at her. She was—for a better word—beautiful. Honey, the young model that had already been established as a rising star, smiled widely at Tadashi before her eyes landed on Hiro.

 

“Hey,” she said before she smiled bright and glanced back at Tadashi. “Long time no see.”

 

Tadashi chuckled as his smile stretched wide on his face. For a moment, Hiro was loss for words as he noticed how dazzling Honey Lemon was in person. “Yeah,” Tadashi said after a while. The young actor glanced at the man next to him and noticed the sudden loss of the weird vibe around him. This time, he seemed—relaxed.

 

 _Huh_.

 

“Hiro, right?” Honey called him out from his thoughts. Immediately, like reflex, he smiled at her. She grinned at the gesture despite she couldn’t see through the façade in his smile. “It’s finally nice to meet you.”

 

“Likewise,” Hiro lied smoothly because really, he wasn’t interested to see her. Not because she wasn’t beautiful or smart or anything that didn’t pin well in Hiro’s book—but because…he just didn’t know really. He just hadn’t gotten the pang in his heart to meet her. But he lied anyway in order to save his face, and she didn’t seem to catch that intention. He handed out his hand as she took in and shook it—and Hiro noted immediately how soft her grip was.

 

“Well, here together?” she asked as he grinned turned cheeky. Hiro let go of her hand and simply hummed out as a response. Her eyes shifted back to Tadashi who simply raised his eyebrows. Her eyes glistened as if she knew the real deal and in some way, Hiro wasn’t surprised she might know since she was rumoured to be real close to Tadashi anyways.

 

Hiro blinked at the sudden pang of bitterness in his heart. It stilled every thought he had for a second before he frowned gently because—what was that? “Yeah, together,” Tadashi said with a shrug as he smiled wider at her. She seemed to nod as if she understood Tadashi and Hiro couldn’t help but to narrow her eyes at her.

 

Just _what_ did Tadashi told her?

 

“You shouldn’t hesitate to agree, Tadashi,” she said cheekily. “Someone might suspect you two are having trouble in paradise.” Her sing song voice somehow struck a chord in Hiro. He didn’t know why he felt bitter all of a sudden, but he was, especially when Tadashi laughed—bright and loud. Immediately, what Tadashi had said to him this afternoon crawled back into his mind like a screaming banshee. He winced gently to himself before he downed the entire champagne in the glass.

 

“Trouble? Hardly,” Tadashi joked, unaware of Hiro’s sudden mood shift. She glanced at Hiro before she looked back at Tadashi meaningfully.

 

“If you say so,” she said.

 

“What does that supposed to mean?” Tadashi asked as he rolled his eyes, though not unkindly. “Honey, seriously, we’re fine.”

 

“I believe you,” she said in a voice that contradicted her statement. Tadashi simply raised his eyebrows. As if under a spell, Hiro was casted out from the conversation. The young actor could taste the slight disappointment in his mind and he wondered briefly why he was feeling that way. He simply snorted under his breath as he grabbed another glass of champagne and drank that too.

 

Maybe if he got tipsy enough, he could forget about this weirdness he had been feeling recently regarding this whole thing. It was around his third glass when he felt a hand touching his arm and stopping him from downing the fourth glass. Honey looked mildly concerned as Hiro looked at her before he looked at the taller man, who was the owner of the hand which was currently secured on his arm.

 

Hiro nudged it out from his grasp harshly, irritation bubbled in his mind. He was feeling slightly tipsy. He knew that he was a lightweight, and when he was particularly bothered, he would get drunk easier. This was no exception. Tadashi frowned as bawled his hand which was on his arm a minute ago, into a fist and brought it to his side.

 

“Hiro, you shouldn’t drink so much,” he warned. Hiro simply rolled his eyes.

 

“Like you care,” he mumbled bitterly. Honey’s eyebrows shot upwards as the young actor glanced at her and looked away. What the hell was he saying?

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi said, his voice was slightly exasperated. “Can you please behave?”

 

Hiro flinched at the words because—sure, he was being treated as the kid in this. He slammed the champagne glass on the nearest table he could find and huffed out loud, glaring at the taller man. “You know what? I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi said as he ran his fingers through his hair. “This isn’t really—”

 

“Maybe you should take him home,” Honey said slowly, her eyes were showing uncertainty. For a second, the young actor tried to make sense to what she meant. She seemed like she was worried, and it confused Hiro because—why was she worried? Then, it hit him. Oh, maybe she wanted Tadashi alone tonight. Hiro rolled his eyes at the obviousness and the irritation mixed with something—dark as he thought about being abandoned.

 

Even by his enemy—even by the man who despised his existence—didn’t want him.

 

Why did that make him feel—insecure and upset?

 

He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. He was just confused. He needed to go home, preferably alone. “No, it’s alright, just stay here. I’ll go home. I—whatever.”

 

“You don’t have any transport home,” Tadashi said but Hiro simply shook his head.

 

“I can find a taxi or whatever, just leave me alone,” Hiro said as he walked away from there. His head was slightly spinning from the alcohol (seriously, he didn’t know he was _this_ lightweight) and from the huge mess of emotions inside of him. He felt the prickling sensation at the back of his eyes and that increased the degree of pitifulness for himself.

 

As he moved through the crowd, he didn’t register the paparazzi were still outside, waiting to take pictures of those who were leaving. But the young actor didn’t want to think about it. For once, he felt like the overall façade of trying to be someone he wasn’t was catching up to him.

 

The cool night air caressed his face, but it did nothing to calm down the whirlwind of emotions inside of him. Just as he was about to take another step forward, a hand gripped tight around his right wrist and pulled him around. Hiro immediately glared at Tadashi, who was slightly panting from trying to catch up to Hiro.

 

“ _What_ is the _matter_ with you?” he demanded as he frowned deep. “You can’t drive, Hiro.”

 

“I’m not going to drive!” Hiro exclaimed as he tried to pull his wrist from the man’s grip but the effort was fruitless when the grip tightened. “Tadashi, let me go! Go back inside, okay? Leave me alone. You don’t need me to pull you down. I _get_ it. And Honey’s in there, all ready for you, so why don’t you just admit that you don’t want me cramping your style and let me leave?”

 

The grip around his wrist loosened for milliseconds before it tightened again. Tadashi’s face was rearranged in what seemed like silent irritation. Hiro knew that look very well. Somewhere at the back of his mind, the young actor knew that there were sounds of shutters going off around him and people with microphones and cameras were trying to get closer to them—but with his buzzed mind and confused feelings, he really couldn’t register that in his head.

 

“What?” Tadashi asked. “You’re kidding me, right? I told you I didn’t want to fight tonight, Hiro! And what in the world made you think you were dragging me down?”

 

“Oh, don’t act so noble, Tadashi,” Hiro sneered as he finally snatched his wrist away from the man’s grip. “I can’t _believe_ I thought you were—you know what? Forget it. Just go away.”

 

Before Hiro could leave, he felt the fingers tracing his wrist again. This time though, his emotions left his control as he turned around and pushed the man away harshly. “I hate you, Goddamnit. Leave me alone, Tadashi!”

 

Tadashi’s eyes widened for a while as he stumbled a few feet back. He seemed as if he was struck, staring at Hiro. And for a moment, it didn’t settle why he seemed so stricken when—

 

_Click!_

 

Oh _god_.

 

His eyes widened as he felt the words he had just sprouted out caught him off guard. He just _yelled_ at Tadashi—in _front_ of the _media_ —about how much he _hated_ him. He felt his cheeks colouring from the embarrassment but most of all—he felt… _guilty_.

 

The flash of hurt in those brown orbs made Hiro freeze because that didn’t look like the man was acting. In fact, he looked genuinely hurt. The young actor didn’t know what to think. His throat went dry and his mind went blank. He felt dread washing in him and for now, he really did felt like an idiot.

 

“I—” Hiro started but what was he supposed to say?

 

He was _sorry_?

 

 _Why_?

 

He looked away as he turned around and started to run away from there, the clicking sound from the cameras and the questions aired from the paparazzi did not thing to deter him from getting away from there like a coward. His chest felt heavy and for a second, all he could see behind these eyelids was that shock and disappointed look on Tadashi’s face.

 

Why had he looked like that?

 

 His mind was getting a bit fuzzier and he didn’t know where he was going. All that he knew was that he felt dreadful. He felt ashamed.

 

What was going on?

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine!
> 
> A/N: Heeeyyy~! Well, sorry for the late update! Okay, so before you guys read this, I just wanted to let you all know that, that yeah, I hope you guys like this. I don't know if I'm doing this right but uhm, well, yeah. Ahahaha...anyways, thank you to those who have commented, read, kudos, bookmarked and even subscribed. Now, go on and read! Until next time~! -Krystal

 

 

Hiro woke up to the sound of the alarm clock ringing. The sound was loud and it thumped through his brain like a hammer. Groaning, he tried to open his eyes but the exhaustion kept him still. He didn’t want to move. All he knew was that he was lying on something soft and he never wanted to leave.

 

But the alarm clock kept on ringing and ringing and _ringing_ —that he had no choice but to open his eyes anyway. The light immediately blinded his vision as he tried to focus on the image in front of him. His mind was muddled and he couldn’t comprehend a single coherent thought.

 

All he could feel was warmth and softness.

 

Except for that noise.

 

He sighed to himself as he forced his head to turn. He glanced at the alarm clock and blinked once and then twice before he slammed the thing to the ground with his hand. It fell and crashed with a satisfying thud.

 

Hiro smiled to himself before he turned around and cuddled himself with what he could now recall, the blanket. It took him a few seconds for his brain to reboot, but when it did, Hiro’s eyes immediately snapped open and he sat up in reflex. He looked around himself wondering what had happened as confusion washed in him.

 

The last thing the young actor could remember was…

 

Was the event from last night. The—charity event. His head throbbed when he tried to recall more. He knew something happened because suddenly, he felt guilty and maybe slightly panicked. It was not a good feeling to wake up to.

 

Then, the images flashed through his mind and he stopped breathing for a millisecond.

 

 _Now_ , he remembered.

 

He had gotten into a fight with Tadashi…in front of all those cameras. What was worse, he remembered exactly what he had yelled at the taller man in the fit of high. The look on the man’s face when he looked at Hiro was another thing that would grave in his mind forever.

 

He looked so _hurt_ , as if Hiro had stabbed his favourite puppy.

 

The young actor frowned as he realised that was the last thing he recalled from yesterday. He knew he wasn’t close to home at all, so where was he? He looked around him once more, this time he started to panic. What if someone had seen him in the drunken state and decided to take him home? What if someone kidnapped him?

 

Then, a bigger dreadful thought settled in him.

 

What if someone took advantage on him?

 

Immediately he looked down to himself, touching his clothes and pushing the blanket away. After he had made sure that yes, his clothes were still on him and didn’t seem to be taken off, he sighed in relief. The momentary panic washed away.

 

After a few more seconds of waiting his brain to actually kick in with the familiarity of the surrounding did he realise that he was home. He was in his own room, sleeping on his own bed and he was—home. He furrowed his eyebrows in even more confusion because now here was the question: how did he get home?

 

Maybe someone called him a taxi, he mused.

 

But he doubted anyone would do that for him. If they saw him out on the streets, he was sure he would’ve been kidnapped. He shuddered at the thought as he slowly got out of bed. Maybe Cass knew who helped him. Probably. His head still throbbed against his skull but it wasn’t as bad as just now. He stumbled towards the bathroom before he closed the door.

 

A warm shower should help.

 

***

 

When he walked into the kitchen, already showered and in his white shirt and pyjama pants, he didn’t think he would be seeing his agent sitting there just staring at the newspaper laid in front of him. Hiro immediately knew where this was going and some parts of him recoiled at the guilt when Tadashi’s face flashed before his eyes.

 

Gordon looked up from the newspaper before he sighed loudly.

 

“Where’s Aunt Cass?” Hiro asked as he stood by the kitchen doorway. Gordon simply continued to look at Hiro. The stare was starting to become uncomfortable as he shifted from one foot to the other. “Gordon, I’m talking to you.”

 

“She went out, to her cooking club or something,” Gordon replied though his voice held no interest on that matter. Hiro knew exactly what he was interested in talking about right now, and that subject was actually on that paper. “Come, sit down.”

 

“Gordon,” Hiro tried to protest but one look from his agent had him doing what he said. He sat in front of Gordon at the kitchen table, feeling nervous. He knew that he blew their cover or whatever. But some parts of him was relieved that he didn’t have to act anymore. He wanted to be free again, he wanted to feel like himself again without the pressures of the cameras and journalists who had nothing better to do with their lives.

 

“This,” he said as he turned the newspaper around so Hiro could read. “This isn’t what I had in mind about yesterday’s event, Hiro.”

 

The young actor glanced at the headlines and something in him froze when he finally registered what it said. He grabbed at the edges of the newspaper before he brought it close to his face. Wait, _what_? This was certainly wasn’t what he was expecting when he yelled at Tadashi last night like that.

 

“What,” Hiro mumbled as he read through the article.

 

‘ _Trouble in Paradise?_ ’ the headlines read and the article talked about the fight they had witnessed last night between Tadashi and him. It was all about how they were having a huge misunderstanding and they were now currently at the breaking point unless they decided to solve this once and for all.

 

Hiro was dumbfounded. He didn’t know that his fight could be seen in that way either. The young actor placed the newspaper back down on the table before he looked at his agent. “Well,” he started. “This doesn’t look that bad.”

 

“Doesn’t look that bad?” Gordon asked indecorously. “Hiro, do you realise that you made everyone think that you two are having a huge problem in your non-existent relationship? This,” he continued as he tapped on the headline with his finger. “This is going to be the latest scoop on every celebrity news channel, magazines, journals; even the newspaper because you two can’t solve your love problems without causing a scene. I mean, what were you even thinking, Hiro? Yelling at him like that and god, both of you are idiots.”

 

“We don’t have a love problem,” Hiro retorted. “It wasn’t what it looks like. Look, I was just irritated at him and I was drunk. And I’m also having a slight hangover right now, so this talk, this isn’t working. It’s making me even more irritated.”

 

Gordon groaned under his breath as he rubbed his face. “You are being so difficult right now,” he muttered and Hiro almost smiled at that. “That’s not a compliment.”

 

“Gordon, come on,” the young actor said. “So what if they’re thinking we’re having ‘trouble in paradise’? It wasn’t even paradise to begin with. More like hell.”

 

“Hiro, could you please just for one second, push away all those hatred you have harboured for Tadashi and think?” Gordon finally snapped, shutting Hiro up. “This whole escapade caused a huge scene. This means more people are interested on this news. More paparazzi, more journalists, more everything you have already. This also puts your entire life out there for others to see. This is the last thing you wanted and look at where we are now.”

 

Hiro took the words in before he finally sighed. He knew he messed up. He really did. Hiro was never good at these emotional things. The words he had yelled at Tadashi were hurtful and somewhere deep in his mind, it was insincere. They were at the bad time, bad place for his argument to have started and now here they were.

 

“What now?” Hiro asked as Gordon simply looked at him and rolled his eyes. “What?”

 

“They’re chewing mine and Henry’s ears out, asking us to solve this, so we came up with this plan,” Gordon said as he took out what seemed like an envelope from his briefcase. “Before you even open the envelope, I want you to know, you brought this on yourself.”

 

The young actor immediately knew that whatever it was in that envelope, it was something he wasn’t going to like. He gingerly took the envelope from Gordon and eyed him suspiciously. Hiro then opened the flap and took out what seemed like a ticket.

 

It was a plane ticket.

 

His eyes widened when he looked at it for a few seconds. What—his mind immediately registered on what was happening before he slammed the ticket on the table and shook his head. “ _No_.”

 

“Hiro,” Gordon started, his voice already pleading at the young actor. “You have to.”

 

“I won’t,” Hiro said as he glared at the ticket like it personally offended him. “What is this, Gordon? A plane ticket to some place I haven’t even heard of?”

 

Gordon raised his eyebrows in slight irritation. “It’s a honeymoon destination. And you’re going.”

 

Hiro was baffled at the orders. “ _Excuse me_?” he asked. “Why to a freaking honeymoon destination? I’m not going with Tadashi to a honeymoon destination! This looks—this is ridiculous!”

 

“We need this to work,” Gordon said finally. “We need this story to sell. Just a few more months, Hiro. Just a few more months and you could walk away. For now, you need to sell this story and the only way to do that is to go with him on this holiday trip, okay? Make it look like you two are trying to solve it.”

 

Hiro palled at the words because he knew exactly what type of message they were about to send to the public if he did do this. He knew he had no choice. He couldn’t refuse this even if he wanted to mainly because, it was his fault they were in this mess. The young actor felt his mood worsening at the thought of spending however long with Tadashi alone.

 

“Whatever,” Hiro finally said. Gordon smiled up to him sympathetically before he patted him on the head. “I—God, is this really the only way?”

 

“Unless making out in public is an option, yes, this is the only way,” Gordon shot back but this time, he seemed to have relaxed. Hiro cringed at the thought of seeing Tadashi again. He really did, especially now that he had this guilt inside of him for hurting the taller man.

 

“Fine, whatever, how long?” Hiro asked.

 

“One week,” Gordon promised. “Just one week. One room. Two beds. I promise.”

 

Hiro worked his bottom lip before he reluctantly nodded. At least he didn’t have to share a bed with Tadashi. He sighed in relief at that before he asked, “When does this start?”

 

“Two days from now. You two will be taking the private jet so you don’t have to deal with prying eyes and ears.”

 

“Good,” Hiro said as he sighed and laid his head on the table. After a while, Gordon stood up and decided to leave.

 

“Well, I’ll see you around, Hiro,” he said and Hiro simply waved him off, not even looking at him. He wanted to throw a tantrum if he could but his head was still hurting and he was too weak to protest. Hiro just let his mind do all the wondering, hoping to know what this would mean by the end of it all for the both of them.

 

Hiro never really hated the man. Maybe irritated, maybe he wished for Tadashi to fall down and smash his face, or maybe even get stung by a harmless bee—but he never hated the man enough for anything worse. He, secretly, appreciated that there was someone like Tadashi in his life so he could always do better in what he did.

 

But yesterday, he was pretty sure that he had sent the wrong message to the man.

 

He let himself wallow in self-pity when the door to the house opened.

 

“Ah, you’re awake,” Cass said as she walked into the kitchen.

 

“Morning, Aunt Cass,” was Hiro’s dull reply.

 

“Have you talked to Gordon?” she asked as Hiro raised his head from the table and gave her a pout. She glanced at him before she raised her eyebrows, leaning against the counter. After a second of silence, she simply sighed. “You were drunk, Hiro and you made a mess out there.”

 

Hiro felt shame wash into him as he groaned and slammed his forehead on the table. “I know,” he moaned out pitifully. “And I—I shouldn’t have done that.”

 

“You shouldn’t have,” Cass agreed but her voice held no disappointment. “Especially not when he was the one who brought you home safe and sound.”

 

His head immediately throbbed harder because just what did Cass had said? Hiro straightened himself as he stared at his aunt, unsure if he looked constipated or almost dead. He guessed he was feeling a bit of both if Cass gave him an amused look.

 

“He _what_?” Hiro croaked out, disbelief colouring his eyes.

 

“He’s the one who brought you home,” she said. “Tadashi helped you to get home when you passed out on the streets.”

 

He furrowed his eyebrows because he certainly didn’t remember that. He opened his mouth to retort back that his aunt was lying but then closed it when he caught the seriousness in her eyes. His aunt rarely lied about anything. This time, it was no different either. But that didn’t mean Hiro was not conflicted about this.

 

What did she mean Tadashi had brought him home? He knew he had run off to somewhere, as far away as he could get away from there and he was aware that maybe someone had brought him home. But he didn’t think it was Tadashi. After what he had said to the man, he still went after Hiro to bring him home safely?

 

His heart throbbed once at the thought and the guilt once again took him off guard. He looked away from his aunt and sighed. This time, he was remorseful. “Hiro, sometimes, if you hate someone too much, you’ll end up seeing all their good sides instead.”

 

The young actor glanced at her before he raised his eyebrows. She noticed his confusion before she gave him a sharp smile. “I’m just saying, sometimes, a first impression isn’t everything. Just remember that.” With that, she walked out of the kitchen, probably to do something else, whatever it was.

 

Hiro furrowed his eyebrows as he let her words wash into his mind.

 

What did his aunt mean? He sighed loudly once more before he placed his head on the table. This was suddenly out of control, and he didn’t think he could blame this one anyone but on himself this time. It was his fault, he told himself in his head. He closed his eyes as his pain throbbed heavily against his skull.

 

***

 

Gogo wasn’t impressed when he went to see her the next day. (He spent the entire day yesterday indoors, away from everything possibly mature. He wasn’t in the mood to act like an adult. Sue him.)

 

“I have no words for you, Hiro,” she said as she pointed a finger at him. He was currently in her apartment. It was hard to get out when he knew that at every lurking corner, there would be some weirdo with a camera waiting for him. So, he had worn his best disguise, his sunglasses, his hat and his hoodie.

 

Totally nothing suspicious here.

 

It worked. Hiro always knew that they were dumb. Looked like it was proven to be true, to his advantage.

 

“Then say nothing,” Hiro bit back. He hadn’t even seen Tadashi yet since that night. He didn’t call him, heck, he didn’t even make an effort to get in contact with him. He knew better than to do that. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind would reel in the fact that the man had went all his way to bring Hiro back home safely—even after the stupid things Hiro had said that night.

 

He didn’t know how to feel about that.

 

He didn’t even know why Tadashi did something like that.

 

If it was for the press then Tadashi could’ve just dropped him in some hotel. Just left him there until he woke up and got the message that he should be getting home. But no, he went all his way to bring Hiro back home. The young actor contemplated the reason why the man would do such a thing for him. Maybe there was something in Tadashi for this—but after almost twenty-four hours trying to figure it out, he couldn’t find the perfect reason he would do such a thing for someone like Hiro.

 

“Of course I have to say something, Hiro!” she said as she crossed her arm. “You totally messed it up.”

 

“Oh, great, like I haven’t heard that one yet,” Hiro said with a roll of his eyes. “Why not come up with something original, Gogo?”

 

“Seriously, you were drunk and you caused havoc like that? Super, Hiro,” Gogo said sarcastically.

 

“Hey, I have a better idea,” Hiro quipped. “Why don’t you shut up so I can tell you why I’m here.”

 

Gogo raised her eyebrows unimpressed at him. “Excuse me? I’m sorry, did you just tell me to shut up?”

 

“Yes,” Hiro said confidently.

 

“You have a lot of nerve, buddy,” she said with a grin, though it looked anything but nice. In fact, it looked like she was about to bury him six feet under the ground. _Alive_. He took a step back at the look before he gulped slightly. After a second, she finally relented and sighed. “Look, I’m just worried. You never drink. What’s with the sudden drunk-chaos last night?”

 

Hiro knew she was worried. Her words might sound sharp but they were also laced with affection and care. The young actor looked away from his friend before he shrugged. “I don’t know, okay? I just remembered feeling like shit.”

 

“You looked like one too,” she commented as he gave her a half-hearted glare. “What? You did. You should’ve seen your face in the news, Hiro. Hi-la-ri-ous.”

 

“Why am I even here?” Hiro asked as she chuckled, her real smile showing on her face.

 

“Because I’m the only one you trust enough to talk about all of this?”

 

“True,” Hiro pointed at her and smiled. Then, after a minute, his shoulders dropped and he continued, “I don’t know why I felt that way. I don’t even know what triggered me to be such a—jerk. But I did and I think I hurt Tadashi, Gogo.”

 

Her lips thinned at the words but there was no surprise on her face. “Why?”

 

“Because,” Hiro said as he took a step forward, already licking his lips that felt all of a sudden too dry. “Because when I passed out on the streets, he found me and brought me home.”

 

“Huh,” she said before she smiled at him. “Look at that. Maybe he doesn’t hate you after all.”

 

“He does,” Hiro protested as he could still hear what Tadashi had said to him that day before the event. “He does. But I still don’t see why he would get hurt that I—I told him I hated him. And that also doesn’t explain why he got me home safely. What does he got to earn by doing this for me?”

 

Gogo remained quiet but Hiro knew that there was something else running in her head. “Hiro,” she said seriously. “Don’t you think that _maybe_ he likes you instead? Instead of hating you, he actually _likes_ you? And that the only reason he’s acting like he hates you is because you’re the one who started acting like he killed you cat?”

 

“What?” Hiro asked, immediately rejecting the idea. “This is Tadashi! How could he like me? What, so this is some secret ‘I-like-you-but-I’m-pretending-to-hate-you-so-you-don’t-see-it’ type of thing? He’s not like that, Gogo.”

 

“And how would you know?” she challenged him. “Do you even know him enough to say that?”

 

Hiro opened his mouth to say that yes, he did, when he stopped himself because—that wasn’t true. He had never known Tadashi like everyone thought he did. He never really knew who this Tadashi was. He only labelled the taller actor as ‘a-colleague-I-barely-tolerate’ when he needed to but truthfully, he doesn’t know Tadashi.

 

Just like how Tadashi doesn’t know him enough to like or hate him, right?

 

“You don’t,” she said finally. “He’s an actor, Hiro. If he could act that well that he’s your boyfriend to fool half the population including me, mind you, that is until you told me about this whole scam, what makes you think he couldn’t act like he can’t tolerate you?”

 

“So,” Hiro said slowly. He felt something like slight panic washing into his mind because what was this? Why did he feel confused and panicked? If Tadashi was acting like that, then what did this huge rivalry thing between them actually meant? “So, you’re saying—he likes me.”

 

“Tolerates you, if you’re having a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that yes, someone actually likes you, Hiro,” she said with a smile.

 

“Im—impossible,” Hiro breathed out because it was. He refused to believe that the man had been faking all these years about their hate-rivalry relationship. Was Tadashi that good of an actor? He blinked away the confusion as he ran his fingers through his hair before he glanced at her.

 

At that moment, he frowned when he read the words from her eyes.

 

‘ _You naïve naïve boy._ ’

 

***

 

 

The day that Hiro had been dreading had arrived faster than he was hoping for. When he had woken up, the first face he saw in the morning was his agent’s, grinning down on him like it was Christmas morning.

 

Hiro knew then that it was today.

 

There was no turning back around now. He would end up seeing Tadashi whether he liked it or not. He didn’t think he would ever feel so nervous seeing the taller actor as he did now. He always thought that his feelings would consist of hatred—and well, more hatred despite that the intensity of that said feeling wasn’t clarified.

 

After the talk with Gogo, Hiro had found him wondering if the possibility that Tadashi had been faking his hate on Hiro was true after all. And if that was indeed the issue, then Hiro had to salute the man, because damn, was he a good actor.

 

But then it made Hiro’s entire, genuine, dislike for the man ten times worse and this time, he would be feeling guilty about it. He didn’t like this feeling, guilt, he decided as he dragged his suitcase out of the house. He would be taking his agent’s car to the airport.

 

They would also be riding a private jet and that was even more horrible on Hiro’s part because, really, once again, there was no avoiding the man now.

 

Cass simply bid him goodbye and told him to take care. She didn’t even hesitate to tell him that she would be here when he needed him, which he was entirely grateful for. His agent simply babbled along the way about all the possibilities of solving this problem once and for all once they came back from their supposedly ‘honeymoon’. Hiro still cringed at that statement.

 

Once they arrived at the airport, Hiro realised with dismay that this was really happening. The jet was there, white coloured, reflecting the sunlight from its skin, waiting to ruin his life even more. He nervously got out as he wore his sunglasses, hoping to mask the dark rings under his eyes from the lack of sleep last night.

 

He just couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to.

 

His mind was muddled up and he was—yeah, he was not going to be comfortable at all.

 

As he walked closer to where Henry was, he finally saw Tadashi next to him, talking on his phone with a smile on his face. Then, his eyes flicked to Hiro and immediately, the smile froze on his face. Hiro felt like he was staring into a deep abyss when time seemed to have slowed down and his breath hitched at his throat.

 

“Hiro,” Henry greeted, cutting him off from the slight frenzy as the young actor looked away from Tadashi to his agent. “Well, here we are.”

 

Gordon laughed and Hiro really didn’t find it that funny, though he did smile at Henry in politeness. “Yeah, here we are,” Gordon said as he looked at his wrist watch. “And you two better get on the plane soon. Don’t want to be late.”

 

Hiro shuddered at the words as he glared at Gordon. “Don’t enjoy this for too long,” he whispered at his agent, who seemingly just looked at him back amused.

 

“Never,” he said. Hiro knew he was lying through his teeth.

 

He wasn’t ready to get into the plane where there would only be him and Tadashi, alone. But despite his protest, he had to board on the jet as soon as possible or else, they really were going to be late.

 

Henry and Gordon just waved at them as Hiro walked into the jet, already taking in how luxurious it looked inside. He personally hadn’t used a private jet before, more because even if he could afford it—he didn’t see the need for one. Normal airlines still helped make his trips possible.

 

But this, Hiro noted, this he could get used to.

 

He walked to one of the seats and sat down near the windows, taking off his sunglasses and placing them to the empty seat next to him. He glanced out from the small square window before he leaned into the leather couch and pulled the curtain to block the sunray. Tadashi walked in a minute later, then another guy with their suitcases. He just went to the back, out of sight.

 

The door to the jet closed and Tadashi sat at the other side, near the windows as well. He waved, probably at Gordon and Henry, as the jet started to move and take off. After that, silence just washed in. Hiro felt awkward. Really he did, and sometimes, he found himself actually glancing at Tadashi, wondering what the man was thinking about.

 

He seemed to be relaxed though. Hiro didn’t knew where he got the book he was reading currently from, but there he was, completely relaxed and somehow not bothering with Hiro. Which was good because the young actor didn’t think he could handle seeing Tadashi staring at him at the moment.

 

But along the way, he ended up staring too long because Tadashi looked up from his book before he glanced at Hiro. “Hiro?” he asked and the young actor immediately looked away, realising that he got caught. His cheeks reddened and his lips suddenly went dry.

 

“Yeah?” Hiro asked under his breath as his shoulders tensed when he heard Tadashi shifting in his seat.

 

After a second or so, the man simply said, “Nothing.”

 

Hiro glanced at him to see that Tadashi had gone back to his book. He also did notice how the relaxed posture was gone and Hiro felt once more, guilty, that he had somehow managed to ruin his peace of mind. He wanted to ask Tadashi about that night. He wanted to know if Tadashi really did help him out and brought him home.

 

He wanted to hear that from his own mouth, to judge how sincere he was and to see if Gogo was merely misjudging things between them.

 

But Tadashi didn’t talk to him and Hiro didn’t open his mouth to say anything more. The young actor sighed quietly before he took out his earphones from his pocket and decided to listen to some songs. As he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the comfortable leather chair, the music flooded his ears and he willed himself to relax.

 

***

 

It was not the least comfortable.

 

It was as if something between them just—died.

 

Well, almost dead.

 

The guilt was still blaring loudly in his head every time he glanced at Tadashi and the man himself simply tried to look calm and relaxed, though Hiro knew that he was anything but that. The ride to the hotel was quiet too, unlike their usual banter.

 

But he guessed it would look good to the public. It was selling the story, wasn’t it? Trouble in paradise, just like how they predicted.

 

Hiro snorted at that as they got out of the car once they reached the hotel. None spoke more as they headed to the reception and talked to the receptionist behind the desk. She eyed them cautiously even though there was some unreadable glint in her eyes as she handed them their room keys and gestured them to take the elevator.

 

The moment they had stood in front of their room, Hiro felt the panic washing into his mind again because, even though they weren’t going to share a bed, they were going to share a room together. They wouldn’t be separable.

 

Hiro never liked when someone saw him sleeping. He didn’t want Tadashi, especially, to realise that he wasn’t practically a normal sleeper. But now there was no escape, was there? He took in a deep breath as the taller man keyed in the card and pushed open the door. Immediately, Hiro gasped at how big the suite was.

 

“Woah,” Tadashi said as they walked into the room and he closed the door. Hiro agreed with Tadashi on that. It was spacious, the room divided into three parts.

 

The living room, the kitchen and the bedroom. It was big, and well-furnished for a _King_.

 

“One week here?” Hiro muttered. “Count me in.”

 

He moved around the room, checking everything out before entering the bathroom and he almost gaped at the massive shower space. He chuckled to himself as he noted to thank Gordon and Henry for this. Somehow, this vacation thing sounded a bit better. He supposed.

 

When he went back to the living room, Tadashi was already inspecting his suitcase. Hiro watched him for a minute before he realised for the first time in his life—he didn’t know what to do. Tadashi glanced at him before he gave him a wary smile and went back inspecting his suitcase.

 

“What are you doing?” Hiro asked as he was unable to contain the silence between them anymore. Tadashi stood up after he was happy with his inspection before he looked at the younger actor.

 

“Nothing, just checking if it’s really ours,” he said. His voice was neutral though and Hiro knew that he was holding back something from him. Hiro doesn’t really know him that well, he realised, but he had always seemed to have some kind of a knack of being able to deduce Tadashi. He didn’t know what that told about him but it was what he had learned along the way about the man.

 

A skill where he could read Tadashi like an open book. Hiro took pride of that skill, mainly because he used it to annoy the man. But now—he wasn’t so sure if he wanted to read Tadashi anymore. It sounded so much easier to just act oblivious about Tadashi’s emotions running in those brown eyes.

 

“Oh,” Hiro said after a second and immediately, he felt awkward. He shuffled from one foot to the other. Tadashi was looking at him too, both staring at each other but none saying anything.

 

“Look—”

 

“Did you really bring me home that night?” Hiro blurted out before Tadashi had the chance to continue his sentence. He felt his cheeks heating up at the sudden word vomit and at the same time, Tadashi seemed to have frozen. The awkwardness stretched on before Tadashi cleared his throat.

 

“Yeah,” he said slowly and his gaze seemed—calculating. “I—I found you passed out on the streets and uhm, brought you home.”

 

“Why?” Hiro asked immediately. Tadashi frowned slightly at the question and furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“What do you mean why?” he asked.

 

“You could’ve left me on the streets,” Hiro said, feigning nonchalance as he shrugged. “I wouldn’t have minded waking up on the cold concrete.”

 

Tadashi’s face immediately changed. It was anger, Hiro realised. It was just pure anger. Tadashi took a step forward and his eyes flashed with something like hurt. The young actor had to take a step back from the look on his face because—he didn’t know what he had said to cause that face on Tadashi. Confusion mingled with slight fear in his heart as he watched at how Tadashi opened his mouth one second, then closed it in the next as if he wasn’t sure what to say.

 

At last, he said, “Next time, I’ll leave you there then.” Before Hiro could even defend himself, Tadashi walked past him to the door. The door clicked behind him and that left Hiro confused. He was left so confused and slightly stunned at the words.

 

 _What_?

 

He didn’t know what Tadashi had meant with that and he didn’t know how to decipher the words. He just simply stood there at the living room, wondering why it suddenly felt lonely. He sighed shakily as the guilt started to eat him up. He furrowed his eyebrows and glanced at the balcony windows before he walked to it.

 

What had he said to warrant such reaction from the taller actor?

 

He didn’t know.

 

As he stood at the balcony, he touched the steel bars and let the wind caress his cheeks. He wondered if suddenly, their so-called rivalry was about to end into something like—plain nothingness. Hiro decided, he didn’t like that.

 

***

 

They didn’t do much that day. Hiro just sat in the room and opened his laptop, going through the news feed and cursed every journalist who wrote about them while contacting Cass about his arrival. Tadashi on the other hand, hadn’t returned until it was dinnertime. Hiro was even more awkward with his so-called enemy when the taller man glanced at him before he looked away and walked to his suitcase.

 

In the silence, Hiro didn’t know what to say as he continued to stare at his laptop. But he wasn’t reading anything, he simply let himself to sit there frozen. Then—the silence was broken with Tadashi mumbling something.

 

“What?” Hiro asked slowly as he glanced away from his laptop. Tadashi was squatting down to his suitcase and was just looking at it before he sighed and stood up. He turned to look at Hiro and licked his lips.

 

“Let’s go eat dinner,” he said. He looked slightly nervous and Hiro knew that somehow, instead of snarling out a reply, for now, it would be best if Hiro agreed. So, the young actor simply nodded. Tadashi nodded back before he went to the bathroom.

 

They had to make this believable anyway, Hiro reminded himself as he sighed and closed the laptop. It wasn’t as if Tadashi wanted to eat dinner with him. They were sent here for a reason, and they had to make this play out well.

 

He got up from the couch and placed his laptop on it before he made way to his own suitcase, guessing he should start unpacking and pick out what to wear for dinner.

 

***

 

Dinner was—awkward. Suddenly, everything about them was awkward.

 

But Tadashi was trying his best not to show it, something that the young actor applauded for. He was dressed casually and Hiro had to stare at him for a second before he realised, Tadashi had never looked so relaxed before. It looked—good on him, he noted before he immediately pushed the thought away from his mind in slight panic.

 

He quickly rushed to the bathroom then, scared he would do something way out of character again like just now.

 

So, when they decided for a small diner nearby, he didn’t expect the awkwardness to sustain. He had thought that he would at least end up snapping at Tadashi like he used to. But then, it was in public and Hiro didn’t know right now if Tadashi was playing his part or being himself.

 

“Are we,” Hiro started and Tadashi looked up from his food, shoving a forkful of that pasta into his mouth. “Are we—acting now?”

 

The man looked at him for a minute before he swallowed his food. “Might as well,” he said with a shrug but somehow, the words didn’t feel right coming out from his mouth. Hiro furrowed his eyebrows at that. “That’s why we’re here right?”

 

“So, this dinner,” Hiro said. “One of the plans to make this ‘right’?”

 

Tadashi stilled for a minute before he nodded. “Yeah,” he said shortly. “Sure, yeah. Let’s take it as that.”

 

Hiro quietened down after that, not bringing it up anymore. And Tadashi seemed to have a complete change of personality all of a sudden. The young actor didn’t know what to do with that new-found information because—this wasn’t Tadashi. Somehow, this wasn’t him. He could feel it even if he didn’t know the man so well.

 

They ate. They went to their room quietly. And they got ready for bed without speaking another word.

 

It really felt like they were done and Hiro splashed the water to his face at that thought. He stared at his reflection from the bathroom mirror and wondered since when he cared if they ever worked fine or not—acting or reality. But this time, he felt different because, what was this strange atmosphere all of a sudden?

 

He didn’t know. He glanced at the bathroom door where he was sure Tadashi was in the next room.

 

“Just what’s going on with you,” Hiro whispered to himself.

 

And whatever it was that was bothering Tadashi, it didn’t settle well for Hiro.

 

He didn’t even know why.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I do not know where this destination is. Most probably, I'll create one...uhm. Ahahaha...//drowned


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.
> 
> A/N: Uhm...okay, uhm, sorry for the late update?? Ahaha...don't kill me. I was busy with everything and all, but hey! Here's the next chapter! It's a bit short and I know I kept you guys waiting almost one month plus and you guys must be slightly disappointed for a short chapter, but--I'll try updating faster? Ahaha, the empty promises of an author. Anyways, before you guys read on, I want to thank those who have read, commented, gave me kudos, bookmarked and subscribed. Thank you! Now, continue on! Until the next chapter! -Krystal

 

 

The next morning wasn’t any better. It seemed like they were trying to avoid each other at all cost. Hiro halfway admitted that something was definitely not right with Tadashi. The taller man simply tensed every time Hiro opened his mouth to speak. It was like he was waiting for Hiro to kick him out of the room or—push him out of a window.

 

It wasn’t like Hiro hadn’t thought about those things before, but he wasn’t in a hurry to hate Tadashi that much yet. The older actor however was skittish and maybe a tad defensive at times. Hiro just couldn’t wrap his head around what could be bothering him.

 

He was sitting at one of the benches located near the pavement heading to the park of the resort as he sipped his iced tea. The sky was blue and the sun was bright today. To be honest, it was quite a beautiful day but that didn’t mean Hiro felt the same way about it. He adjusted his sunglasses as he took in a deep breath.

 

Tadashi had left in the morning without a word and Hiro hadn’t bothered to ask where he was going. All that he wanted was some space from all the gloominess Tadashi was portraying ever since they got here. He wondered briefly if Tadashi had found him burdensome once more and the thought immediately didn’t make him feel better.

 

He wasn’t bothersome, was he? Hiro toyed with the thought before he shook his head. No, something else was eating Tadashi from inside. He bit his bottom lip as he let his mind wander before he remembered what he had said to Tadashi before this entire mess started.

 

“I hate you,” he tested the words and immediately grimaced. He felt guilt once more swirling through his vein like poison.  He hadn’t meant it that way. He had just felt annoyed that Tadashi and Honey were hitting off so well, practically ignoring his presence. However, as to why he was annoyed, now that part Hiro was having some trouble getting the answer to.

 

It wasn’t like he liked Honey. She was too bubbly and—too cheerful for his taste. She seemed like she needed someone with a lot of patience to handle her. Hiro couldn’t do it, heck, he couldn’t even like her. He frowned deeply at the thought before he went near an unfamiliar part of his thoughts.

 

Could it be he was angry at Tadashi instead?

 

He sipped his iced tea and sighed. Why would he be angry at Tadashi? Didn’t the man himself tell him that he disliked Hiro as much as Hiro disliked him? That sharp pang caught him off guard as he blinked at the sudden whirl of emotions in his chest. Right, this was what he felt that night before he got himself drunk. He had felt bitter and useless.

 

He had felt like he was abandoned. And to think that Tadashi had made him felt that way was most—confusing. And yet, here he was wondering why it all somehow made sense if only he could fit it all into a picture.

 

Hiro took off his sunglasses as he looked up to the sky. For a moment, he questioned if maybe it would be better if he apologised to Tadashi. Then he frowned deeper. Why? Because he had told Tadashi he hated him?

 

Well, he didn’t know now. From the way Tadashi acted, it seemed like the only way for him to solve this weird misunderstanding between them was if Hiro pulled the man aside and actually made him talk. He sighed once more before he stood up and looked away from the sky. His vision went dark for a moment from the sun. He huffed and sipped his drink as he slipped his sunglasses back on.

 

***

 

Hiro found Tadashi an hour later at the beach, just sitting at one of the chairs under the umbrella, reading something. The younger actor frowned as he walked up to him without realising he was doing it so. He ended up standing in front of Tadashi, just staring down at the man until he sighed loudly and sat down at the seat next to Tadashi.

 

Immediately, he noticed Tadashi glancing at him before he straightened up. His shoulders squared and his grip on the book tightened. Hiro raised his eyebrows at that. Was his presence _that_ unwanted? He bit down his tongue from voicing that out as he decided to just look away from Tadashi and just stare at the ocean.

 

Silence washed in between them and for a second, he really thought a meteor was going to strike them from how tense the man next to him was. For a while, Hiro let the silence to persist but when he moved and Tadashi tensed again, he finally ran his fingers through his hair and took down his sunglasses harshly.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Hiro finally bit out. The man, if it was anymore possible, tensed even more before he took off his own sunglasses and glanced away from the book to briefly look at Hiro. Tadashi raised his eyebrows as his face schooled into a calm nonchalant mask.

 

“What?” he asked and that irritated the younger actor even more.

 

“Don’t ‘what’ me, Tadashi!” he said. “If you really want me gone from your sight, all you have to do is open your mouth and tell me.”

 

Tadashi immediately closed his book before he sat up properly. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” he said, though his voice was carefully laced with caution. Hiro felt like he was five all over again. He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Hiro huffed. “Don’t worry. I’ll be out of your hair soon enough. Just your luck, isn’t it, to be stuck with me of all people.”

 

This time, the older man looked at him properly. His lips thinned and Hiro knew that this was going to get worse. “I didn’t say that,” Tadashi said slowly but Hiro would love to tell him otherwise.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Hiro snorted as the man frowned. “Like you haven’t been avoiding me like I possessed some incurable disease said otherwise.”

 

Tadashi ran his fingers through his hair and glanced away for a second before his eyes settled back on Hiro. “Is that what you think?” he finally asked. Hiro raised his own eyebrows as he clutched his sunglasses tighter. “Is that what you think about me?”

 

“I’m just saying,” Hiro said. “That you’re not the only one who has to suffer through this. Just in case you didn’t notice, this isn’t my idea! So, if you could just tone down this gloomy aura every time we’re ten feet close to each other, I would appreciate it.”

 

Tadashi’s eyes narrowed as he chuckled, sounding bitter. “I’m sorry, the real reason we’re here in the first place was _because_ of _you_.” Before Hiro could retort, Tadashi continued, “You’re the one who got drunk and you were the one who made a scene, yelling things that weren’t supposed to be said in public—in front of the cameras. Technically, this entire thing falls is indeed your fault.”

 

Hiro’s cheeks reddened from embarrassment. “There!” Hiro finally said as he stood up and pointed his finger at Tadashi. Anger bubbled in his heart at the thought that he was being treated like a child again, like he was incapable of handling an adult conversation, that he was such a troublesome person to be with. That thought once again zapped through him like fire and confusion took him off guard for a second before the anger came back in full force.

 

Why was Tadashi always treating him like that?

 

“There what?” Tadashi asked.

 

“There! There you go again, Tadashi,” Hiro hissed as he clenched his hands into a fist, the sunglasses trapped in his right fist. “I hate it when you do that. You know what? This hatred is mutual. Damn you, man. I hope this ends fast.”

 

Before Hiro could turn around and walk away, he felt a hand wrapping around his wrist, turning him around to catch those brown orbs again. Gone were the tender looks he used to see sometimes in there replaced with something like confusion and irritation. To think that that was all he ever evoked in the man used to be his prime achievement. Yet, recently, all he could ever think was—why was it he could only evoke those emotions in Tadashi?

 

He thinned his lips as he tried to tug his wrist from the older actor’s grip. “Let me go,” he gritted out as Tadashi kept his firm grip and not relenting.

 

“You make no sense sometimes,” Tadashi said. “Finish what you wanted to say, could you, for once in your life? You always come to unthinkable conclusions because you just assume what you want without actually listening.”

 

“I’m not assuming anything!” Hiro said. “Let me go. Don’t treat me like this.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like you actually care!” Hiro finally yelled. Tadashi was slightly stunned as the grip around Hiro’s wrist lessened. Hiro took the opportunity to grab back his wrist and glared at the man. He didn’t know why he was irritated. He didn’t know why he was feeling so off whenever it came to this older man here. Just what had Tadashi done to him? But like always, he was back to square one with his feelings for Tadashi.

 

“What?” Tadashi finally asked, his voice quiet. “What does that mean? I—Like I actually care?”

 

“Like you actually care,” Hiro said, as the anger slowly simmered into something—weird, something resigned. “Stop treating me like you care about me. Like I’m actually five-years-old. Like I’m nothing but a—”

 

But he didn’t get to finish his sentence because at that exact time, his mind caught up to what he was saying. His cheeks reddened and unable to believe that he actually said that. Tadashi stared at him for a second and Hiro could see the gears turning in his head. Then, Tadashi’s eyes widened like he caught on to what Hiro was trying to say. At that moment, the wind blew through Hiro’s hair making him apprehend that they were in public.

 

He nervously looked around him and tried to breathe out in relief when he realised that this whole place was deserted. It was probably because it was peak noon and the sun was at the hottest. Hiro also noticed that there wasn’t anyone with cameras chasing them around the moment he stepped into public and for once in his life, he actually enjoyed that sense of freedom.

 

But now, he only felt uncomfortable. He cleared his throat before he wore back his sunglasses. “I’m—yeah, just, don’t worry, we’ll be done with this and you don’t have to bother with me anymore.”

 

Before Tadashi could say anything, Hiro turned around and practically ran away from that spot. His cheeks were still blazing by the time he was far away from the beach, from Tadashi. His heart thumped loudly against his chest and his mind swirled around the fact that he seemed to have confessed that he was uncomfortable with Tadashi treating him with care and/or disdain.

 

Even to him, that sounded confusing because he should be uncomfortable with Tadashi caring. Not the disdain because wasn’t that what existed between them? His heart thumped loudly at that and Hiro guessed that meant yes. Probably.

 

***

 

Hiro stayed in his room until it was late afternoon, entering early evening. He was on his phone, then on his laptop and when he got restless, he started to pace the room. He was confused and his grip on reality was slipping past his fingers. Just what was happening to him? He bit his bottom lip as he slumped at the edge of his bed. His fingers picked the edges of the sheets as his mind tumbled upon the things that he was feeling for Tadashi recently.

 

It didn’t take long for the silence to break when he heard the door opening. He froze when he heard Tadashi walking into the room, the door closing a minute later. He kept his back facing the older actor as he tried to look busy on his phone. But then, his ears picked up another voice—though it came from the speakers of a phone.

 

“No,” Tadashi said hushed as he spoke into his phone. Hiro looked away from his device and turned to look at the older man slightly. Curious, he watched at how Tadashi began to shuffle around the room before he headed to one of the drawers, seemingly to be searching for a paper and pen. He jotted down something before a smile crawled on his face.

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows at the sudden look on his face and wondered just who he was talking to that had warranted such a look on the older man’s face. “Honey, it’s not like that and you know it,” Tadashi spoke again and this time, Hiro caught the name and froze.

 

It was Honey. Honey Lemon.

 

He bit down his bottom lip for a second before he felt his heart throb again. He frowned as he gently touched his chest and patted it. Something was definitely wrong with him, he guessed as he looked away from Tadashi and went back to his phone. After a minute, the man said goodbye to Honey and the phone call ended.

 

Hiro simply continued on with his apparently busy thing in his phone (he was playing a game) though his mind was reeling back to the name he heard coming out of Tadashi’s mouth and the smile on his face as if he had seen an angel. He almost snorted at that thought and something bitter once again crawled in his chest.

 

He was beginning to become someone he wasn’t, he realised all of a sudden. His fingers shook gently as he held his smartphone tight. He closed his eyes and took in a shaky breath.

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi’s voice cut through the silence. Hiro opened his eyes immediately before he looked at the older actor. He frowned a bit when he saw the stoic mask on the man’s face. When he didn’t continue, Hiro rolled his eyes and looked away.

 

“What?” he asked, sounding uninterested.

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi tried again. “I—”

 

Hiro glanced up from his phone and looked at Tadashi, waiting for him to continue. The older actor opened his mouth to say something and from the way his eyes flashed, it was definitely something important, something that he wanted Hiro to know.

 

“I’m going out later,” Tadashi said finally. “Honey—she’s here for a photoshoot and uhm, she wanted to meet me.”

 

Hiro felt something in him flicker distastefully. Something ugly carved in his chest at the words and he felt disappointed all of a sudden. He blinked a few times before he looked away from the older actor. He was just so happy to see Honey again, wasn’t he?

 

“Whatever,” Hiro said as he stood up and walked to the bathroom, closing the door with a loud click. He didn’t know why he felt disappointed but he did. He realised he was expecting Tadashi to say something else, something that would put his mind to ease. But instead—he made his mind even messier. Honey Lemon was here?

 

The probability that she could even be here was close to zero and yet here she was. He licked his suddenly dry lips and walked to the sink, opening the tap and washing his face. He looked at himself in the mirror and wondered for a second why he felt this way again.

 

He felt like he was being let down once more.

 

He shook his head and banged his head gently against the mirror. “What is happening to me?” he asked himself. Did Tadashi’s thoughts about him mattered a lot more than what he thought about himself? That was ridiculous.

 

And yet, here he was. Why was he so weird? He touched his chest and patted it again. Maybe he should get himself checked. Tadashi could see whoever he wanted to, he could feel whatever he wanted to about him, about Honey, about whomever and it would not bother Hiro.

 

Why?

 

Because he was in reality and in reality, they weren’t even close to being friends.

 

And yet the thought just felt hollow as the time went by.

 

***

 

That night, Hiro didn’t stay in his room. He ended up walking around the resort, deciding he would get something to eat without Tadashi around. It wasn’t as if he wanted to be here anyway. He knew he looked like he was sulking, but honestly, he wasn’t.

 

He just—didn’t want to care for now.

 

So, he walked around to find a decent restaurant that would help quench his sudden interest in seafood. The night time was cool and Hiro heard the whispers of the wind caressing his ears. There were some people around him as he walked past them to the restaurant that he guessed would sell what he wanted.

 

As he settled for the seat at the balcony instead of the indoors, he took in a deep breath of the calm wind that blew against his face once more. His mind went back to the smile that was playing on the older actor’s face when Honey called. It was bright and dazzling, and immediately soft.

 

His heart gave a loud thump at that and he frowned. Touching his chest, he realised that he felt slightly stuffy. Hiro wondered why he was feeling this way all of a sudden. Was it because he had just gotten into another argument with Tadashi? He didn’t know but he steadily disliked this constant confusion.

 

There was a time in his career that he really meant the words ‘I hate you’ for that man. He really did but once he said it out loud, it didn’t feel right. It felt sharp and the mere thought of hating Tadashi somewhat made him uncomfortable. He remembered Gogo’s words to him before he left for this weird one week vacation thing.

 

Sure, he guessed that he was the one who started this rivalry thing but he couldn’t actually pinpoint why he did so. Maybe the fame was still new to him at that time. Maybe he was still bitter after everything that had happened to him before and he needed someone, anyone, to pin the blame on and Tadashi somehow became the first person in his sight he could do that to.

 

Whatever the reason was, now that he was thinking clearly for the reasons to why he hated Tadashi, the real reason, he couldn’t find one. Was he perhaps jealous of the older man’s lifestyle? Not really. Sure, he was—a bit jealous about how Tadashi was getting recognised with just the man’s smile and words, but…for the real reason? That wasn’t it.

 

Then what was it?  

 

“Hiro?”

 

His thoughts were interrupted when someone stood in front of his table. Hiro glanced up and his eyes widened when he recognised the face. “Fred?”

 

“Dude!” Fred, his co-worker, co-star, friend during the filming of Big Hero 6, was standing in front of him, smiling widely. Hiro rarely kept in contact with his co-stars after filming the movie, mostly because despite how they looked on screen, in reality, they hadn’t really bonded. The only one he kept in contact was Gogo.

 

Occasionally Wasabi when he could.

 

But seeing Fred was a pleasant surprise. Why was everyone here all of a sudden? So much for this destination being private, Hiro muttered in his head but he didn’t mind the company. It was Fred. Hiro remembered how easy it was to get along with him. “Hey,” Hiro said with a small wave before pointing to the empty seat in front of him. “Wanna sit?”

 

Fred sat down in front of Hiro before grinning. “So, it’s true, huh? The news about how you and Tadashi are taking a week or so off to ‘fix’ your relationship.”

 

Hiro winced at the words. He didn’t know if he should let Fred into the truth. Nobody else, except Gogo and his agent, knew the real story. He toyed with the decision for a while before deciding that it would be better if he kept his act up. Even though this was Fred, even though they were friends, or sort-of, he wanted to be on the safe side.

 

Not only was his carrier on the line, Tadashi’s carrier was there too. He bit his inner cheek from blurting out the truth before he settled with a feeble shrug and a smile. “Yeah,” he confirmed. “It’s a nice place, isn’t it?”

 

“It is,” Fred said, as he looked around the place. “Where’s Tadashi?”

 

Hiro froze in his seat for a second. Right, Tadashi was on a date with Honey. The thought made him felt grimmer as he cleared it from his head. Now was not the time to be all weird about that. Fred eyed him for a second before he raised his eyebrows. “He’s not here?”

 

“Yeah, we,” Hiro said as he tried to find a perfect excuse to cover the absence of Tadashi. “Had a fight. So, alone time.”

 

That wasn’t a lie, kind of, Hiro thought happily. Fred nodded understandingly before he gave Hiro a sympathetic smile. “You alright? I mean, you guys seemed to be so in love and—what happened a few days ago…”

 

“We’ll be fine,” Hiro said as he mocked a sigh. “That’s why we’re here, aren’t we?”

 

“Yeah,” Fred agreed.

 

“Why are you here though?” Hiro changed the subject swiftly.

 

“Oh, I’m here to check out the set. Just flew in this morning,” Fred said as he pointed around the place. “The new movie I’ll be acting in takes place here.”

 

“Seriously?” Hiro asked. Fred just grinned at that before he nodded. “Cool, man. This place is—it’s really nice.”

 

“It’s really calming,” Fred said. “Hey, I’ll just join you for dinner then.”

 

“Oh, it’s alright,” Hiro said, not wanting to disrupt Fred’s plans. “If you have something to do, you can go ahead.”

 

“Nah,” Fred said as he waved his hand dismissively. “Got nothing right now. I was just wandering around. Glad I stumbled upon you, Hiro.”

 

After a second, Hiro finally relented and just ate his dinner with Fred. Hiro really wasn’t opposed to Fred’s presence. It made things slightly…less lonely. He didn’t know why he felt that way, lonely, but he did. He just wished he knew the answers to why he was feeling this way lately. He huffed out his breath in humour at what Fred said before he decided to head to the washroom.

 

Excusing himself, he walked into the restaurant and walked to the men’s bathroom. Once he washed his face, he walked out of the bathroom, taking a look at the interior design of the restaurant along the way. He was just glancing around when his eyes landed at someone, at the far corner of the restaurant, secluded from the public. It took a few seconds before Hiro realised that it was Tadashi. The older actor was sitting at that spot and eating his dinner with—Honey.

 

He just stood there and stared at them for a minute, cataloguing at how easy Tadashi’s laugh and smile was when he was with her. Her eyes twinkled as she talked animatedly and Tadashi seemed to listen attentively like his life depended on it. For a second, his heart started to beat louder against his chest and he had trouble breathing.

 

His good mood simmered down and something bitter once again crawled into his mind. What was this feeling? He touched his chest and tried to pat some sense into it, but the more he stood there and stared at the couple, the less happy he was becoming.

 

Hiro noticed how he was bawling his hands into a fist and his mind slowly blanking. They looked so happy, so polished, Tadashi looked like he deserved to be there and in some way, Hiro guessed he did. Why were they on this trip in the first place? It didn’t make sense now because even though they were supposed to fix their non-existent relationship, with this pace, Hiro didn’t think it was going to happen.

 

He was starting to feel like how he felt that night before he blurted out that he hated Tadashi in public. Panic, a moment later, washed in him when he caught to how he was now glaring at them. Before he could do anything worse or embarrassing, he rushed out of the restaurant and headed to his table.

 

“Dude, you look pale,” Fred commented as Hiro suggested they left. The younger actor simply blinked at his friend once and then twice before he shrugged.

 

“Let’s go,” Hiro said as he tried to sound normal. Fred eyed him before he nodded. After paying the bills, Hiro walked out of the restaurant perimeters, to somewhere far away from there with Fred walking next to him. Silence washed in between them as Hiro finally sighed, his heart felt heavy against his chest and his mind all muddled up.

 

“You okay?” Fred asked after a while, catching him off guard. He looked at his friend before he nodded, schooling his face into nonchalance.

 

“Yeah,” he said, desperately trying to believe the lie. “I’m fine.”

 

“You’re so not,” Fred snorted. “Wanna grab something to drink?”

 

Hiro blinked at the request before he rolled his eyes. “The last time I got drunk, I yelled out I hated Tadashi to the world.”

 

“I promise I won’t let you do anything like that,” Fred teased with a grin. Hiro was tempted to agree but then again, he also knew he was technically still underage. He was only nineteen. Fred noticed the wary look on his face before he slapped Hiro’s back. “Fine, you can just watch me get drunk then and afterwards guide me back to my room.”

 

“I’m not your babysitter, Fred,” Hiro pointed it out but he wasn’t actually ready to go back to the room. He didn’t want to face Tadashi at all if he could. So, he finally nodded and let Fred drag him to the nearest bar. It wasn’t crowded or noisy, it was actually a calm atmosphere. Hiro appreciated the scene as Fred let himself start getting drunk while Hiro drank some orange juice.

 

Halfway, his mind wandered back to the scene he had just witnessed. Tadashi and Honey, his mind mused and immediately, he felt bitter. Why was Tadashi being so careless? They were in public, what if someone got their picture and decided then that that was the end of their relationship?

 

Fake-pretend relationship, Hiro’s mind reminded him as he sighed and drank his orange juice. Fred glanced at him before he patted the younger actor’s shoulder. “I know it’s tough man, but like you said, you guys will work it out.”

 

Hiro realised how he must had looked to Fred before he nodded at the comment. His cheeks flushed from the thought that he must had looked like a sad lover who was about to get dumped by his boyfriend of  how-many-so-long-almost-forever years.

 

“I just,” Hiro said slowly. “I don’t want to see him.”

 

“That bad?” Fred asked, slightly slurred.

 

“Maybe,” Hiro said, though he knew that what Fred was referring to and what he was talking about was two different things. And yet, it was funny how similar the problems were. “I just don’t want to see him today.”

 

Fred hummed before his eyes brightened. “Oh, well, if you really don’t wanna see him, you can come and stay in my room.”

 

Hiro looked at his friend before he raised his eyebrows. “Your room?”

 

“Yeah,” Fred mused. “My agent booked me this grand suite and all, I just, there’s like a whole other room that I don’t know what to do with. It’s too big for me alone, man. So, if you really don’t want to see your lover boy, you can come and stay for the night at the guest room.”

 

Hiro pondered for a while. “Why did you get such a big room? Expecting someone to stay with you?”

 

“My agent,” Fred confirmed. “But he couldn’t make it today. So, I guess you can stay for the night. He’ll only arrive tomorrow evening.”

 

“Ah,” Hiro said. He didn’t actually feel comfortable staying in someone else’s room. But the thought of going back to see Tadashi again wasn’t really working for him. How was he supposed to face Tadashi after everything he had said and seen today? He didn’t want to and he knew that he was acting like a scared child, running away from his problems but—he needed space.

 

His heart was feeling funny and his mind was whirling around with too many things at once. He needed at least one night to feel…alright, like himself again. He laughed to himself when he realised that it hadn’t even been more than twenty-four hours since they started staying together and he was already a mess.

 

Just why was Tadashi ploughing his mind like this?

 

“Yeah, okay,” Hiro finally said as Fred nodded. “Okay.”

 

“Great, let me just finish this,” Fred said as he pointed to his drink. Hiro smiled at his friend before he went back drinking his orange juice. It wasn’t the best glass of orange juice he had but it was something compared to the alcohol. He licked his suddenly dry lips. Should he tell Tadashi that he was staying at Fred’s room?

 

He took out his smartphone and clicked open Tadashi’s contact. He hovered over the message button before he thought twice about it. He would be busy with Honey Lemon. Hiro doubted he would care if he went missing for one night. Besides, it would give Tadashi more time to spend with her.

 

His chest felt stuffy again with the thoughts. He drank his orange juice quietly once more. Placing his smartphone on the table, he decided not to tell Tadashi about him not coming back tonight. It was all just an act, Hiro reminded himself.

 

Tadashi caring, smiling, telling Hiro off—those were all acts.

 

Tadashi found him to be a burden, didn’t he? He would give the man his space. Hey, Hiro could be considering too when the time needed him to be. He just shook his head from the thoughts as he glanced around the quiet bar.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine!
> 
> A/N: ...hey? I'm so sorry for the almost 2 months late update! I've just been so busy and you know, life. Also, I'm gonna apologise beforehand for the--short chapter. I wanted to add more but I couldn't find the right setting in this chapter to add more. So, yeah. //shot// But! There is some progress in here, and equally important to the development of the plot. I hope so...probably...eh e.e 
> 
> Anyway! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter either way~ Thank you to those who have read, commented, kudos and bookmarked this! :DD Until the next chapter~! -Krystal

 

 

Hiro grumbled under his breath when he felt the sunlight filtering through the curtains caressing his face. His mind was slowly waking up and his body felt weak. He buried himself deeper into the covers, hoping the sun would decide it would take a day off and let the stars appear again. 

 

Just when he was about to doze back to sleep, someone knocked on the door, making Hiro to grumble again. The knocking was persistent until Hiro said to whoever it was at the door to come in. He pushed the cover away as he slowly sat up, his eyes blinking from the sleepiness. 

 

He felt slightly dizzy as well. He licked his dry lips and grimaced at how bland his mouth felt. The door opened and Hiro glanced at Fred, who walked in with a grin on his face. “Hey, buddy,” he said as he leaned against the doorframe. Hiro just watched him blankly for a minute before he looked around him. 

 

Ah, yes, he remembered now. He was in Fred’s room. Well, guest room. “How are you not having the worst hangover ever right now?” Hiro mumbled as he yawned, stretching his hands. Fred chuckled before he shrugged. 

 

“I don’t know,” he said. “Usually I don’t get hangovers. I mean, I do, but they’re tolerable.”

 

“Lucky,” Hiro said before he rubbed the back of his neck. “What time is it?”

 

Fred hummed as he glanced at his wrist watch. “It’s almost nine.”

 

“Ah,” Hiro said for a second before he rubbed his face. He hadn’t forgotten why he had decided to sleep in Fred’s room. The image had been burned in his head like a stamp, and despite he didn’t know what he was feeling exactly, he knew it was bitter. Hiro had pondered about these new feelings for Tadashi the whole night. He couldn’t find it in himself to admit it—admit that Tadashi was somehow getting to him. 

 

He needed a wakeup call and yesterday was just that, to remind him that none of this was real. Besides, Tadashi hadn’t even been that nice to him. Why were his feelings becoming confusing without a reason for him? How could Tadashi be so careless anyway? 

 

Going out in public with Honey? That wasn’t the part of the plan. Their job was to fix this non-existent relationship so that they both could get over this as quickly as possible. “Dude,” Fred caught his attention as he dropped his hands to his sides and glanced at his friend. “Do you want to stay for breakfast or get back to your lover boy?”

 

Oh yeah, Fred didn’t know about this arrangement. Hiro licked his lips as he weighed the pros and cons of staying here longer than necessary. Even though the hotel was a safe place to be from prying eyes and cameras, it still didn’t mean Hiro should be wandering around carelessly—unlike a certain someone. He snorted before he grinned at his friend. “Nah, I better get back.”

 

Fred grinned as well. “’Kay,” he said before he opened his mouth for a moment, somehow contemplating something. Hiro watched him struggle for words before he settled with, “Just talk to him, okay? Misunderstandings are easier solved when two people talk it out. Trust me, I know.”

 

“Do you?” Hiro said with humour. 

 

“Sure,” Fred said with a shrug but Hiro didn’t miss the seriousness in his words. He nodded at Fred after a minute before he pushed himself out of bed. 

 

“I’m just gonna borrow your bathroom and then I’ll be off.” 

 

“Hey, stop by sometimes, yeah?” Fred said as Hiro rolled his eyes. 

 

“I’m busy, man,” Hiro said though he didn’t mean it. Fred’s chuckle proved that he understood what he meant as he sauntered to the bathroom and closed the door. 

 

*** 

 

Hiro waved goodbye to Fred as he walked away from his room, heading to the elevator. He switched on his smartphone, waiting for it to light up. Hiro had switched it off immediately after he left the bar. He wasn’t in the mood to entertain any calls or messages from anybody. Once the screen lighted up and the lock screen appeared, almost forty missed calls filled the screen. 

 

Hiro stopped walking as he stared at the missed calls. He frowned before he clicked on the message, only to realise that they were all from one person; Tadashi. His heart gave a loud thump at that as he raised his eyebrows. 

 

He pondered for a while to why Tadashi had called him so many times before his mind brought up one suggestion that had him balking from shock. His heart started to thump louder against his chest and Hiro frowned deeper. That—couldn’t be, right? 

 

His thumb hovered over Tadashi’s contact number and mused on about that specific thought a bit more. Could Tadashi have been worried for him? Hiro almost scoffed at the thought but—here he was, looking at forty missed calls from that man. It made Hiro feel—weird inside. 

 

Warm, fuzzy and probably—what was this? Wanted?

 

Before Hiro could think anymore, another phone call caught him off guard. He almost dropped his phone and without a reason, he almost panicked, thinking it was Tadashi who was calling him again. But when he saw it was none other than Gogo, he sighed in relief. However, he didn’t miss the sudden trickle of disappointment overflowing in his veins either. 

 

Quickly shoving that feeling aside later to be examined, he answered her call. “Hello?”

 

“Hey,” Gogo said, her voice sounded relaxed. “How’s your honeymoon?”

 

“Not a honeymoon, Gogo,” Hiro said as he decided to continue walking to the elevator. “This is just you know—fix thing stuff. I’m not even sure.”

 

“Sure,” Gogo said and Hiro could imagine the smirk that would be adorning her face right about now. 

 

“Why are you calling me?” the younger actor asked as he walked into the elevator once the metallic doors opened, revealing an empty space. He pressed the floor number he was assigned to, waiting for Gogo to answer his question. 

 

“Nothing,” Gogo said after a beat. “Just thought I would ask how you’re doing. You didn’t seem so thrilled to be on this thing in the first place.”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said shortly. 

 

“How are you and Tadashi?” she asked, cutting to the chase. Hiro chewed his bottom lip as he leaned against the walls of the elevator, taking a deep breath. He stared at his shoes as he frowned. 

 

“I don’t know,” Hiro said carefully. 

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gogo asked, sounding slightly confused. “By now you would’ve spouted how horrible he was.”

 

“It’s just,” Hiro said as he licked his lips. “He’s been acting weird ever since we got here.”

 

“Huh,” Gogo said quietly. “How weird? I mean I’m assuming this is abnormally weird, since to you, everything he’s doing before is already weird.”

 

“He’s pretty weird originally,” Hiro snorted out as he sighed. “I don’t know. He’s been avoiding me.”

 

“Never thought I would be hearing the great Hiro distressing about Tadashi avoiding him,” Gogo said jokingly. But Hiro didn’t find anything funny about it, instead, that thought alone made him feel—uncomfortable. Why was Tadashi avoiding him like a plague? What had Hiro done to him anyway, besides the usual snarky comments and annoyed glances? 

 

‘ _I hate you_.’

 

Hiro cringed at the words. Somehow, Hiro had a creeping suspicion that he had offended the older man.“I’m not distressing!” Hiro said even though he felt like he was telling a lie. His tongue was numb and his mind hated the fact that he, Hiro, was beating himself up about something like this because of Tadashi; his self-proclaimed nemesis. 

 

Enemies weren’t supposed to feel like this. 

 

Hiro wanted those words to hurt, he really did, once upon a time. But now, they didn’t feel great. In fact, it reminded him of how bitter he was. He glanced at his shoe unblinkingly and for a second, he wondered if it was time. If it was time to leave it all behind, to leave this fame that got to his head and head back home. 

 

But the memories of his parents made it almost impossible to do so. Sometimes, he didn’t know what he was doing. Like now, why couldn’t he think straight? He needed answers. He needed to have some answers. “I’m just confused,” Hiro finally said, quietly, admitting to Gogo. 

 

His friend kept silent for a second before she said, “Then talk to him.”

 

“How?” the younger actor said, slightly frustrated. “I can’t even say a few words to him without getting frustrated.”

 

Just then, the elevator doors opened. The actor immediately stepped out but stopped from walking any further. He leaned against the wall and just stared at the opposite one. “Try,” Gogo said. “Without making yourself believe that you’re talking to someone you hate.”

 

“I do hate him,” Hiro grumbled but once again, the words felt hollow. It felt like a lie. They tasted bitter and sour at the same time, it made him cringe. Gogo chuckled from the other side before he heard her sigh loudly. 

 

“My dear child,” Gogo said. “I doubt it. Just talk to him—and don’t think so much into his actions. You’ll see what I’m trying to say.”

 

“How do you know? It’s not like you’re close friends with Tadashi or something.”

 

“I just know,” Gogo said. “Maybe because I’m not a dunce in love.”

 

Hiro’s mind stopped working for a second before the younger actor pushed himself from the wall and reddened. “L—Love? Hah! Gogo, there’s something really wrong with you, okay? Get yourself checked out.”

 

Gogo just laughed. 

 

“There’re just some things you can’t predict,” Gogo said. 

 

“Whatever, there’s no love, okay,” Hiro said. “It’s all—you know, make believe. So, hah! Anyways, I gotta go. Tadashi called forty times yesterday. Maybe he wanted something—whatever.”

 

“Forty times?” Gogo asked, her voice sounded slightly awed. “What the hell for?”

 

Hiro stopped himself from blurting about Honey and Tadashi to Gogo before he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Nothing, I’ll tell you later.”

 

“W—what? Oi! Don’t leave me hanging, forty times, Hiro! Why?” 

 

“I,” Hiro started. “It’s just—we got into a fight again and he left for dinner and I went alone to dinner, and I met Fred, hey you know Fred, right?”

 

“Yeah, obviously,” Gogo said. 

 

“Yeah, I didn’t want to see Tadashi yesterday, so I just crashed at Fred’s place.” Gogo took in a sharp breath before she released it.

 

“First,” Gogo started. “Why is Fred there? Second, did you at least call Tadashi to tell about this supposedly plan of yours?”

 

“First; he’s here for some movie setting planning or something and second: No? I mean, it’s not like he’d care. Why should I bother myself with telling him where I was?” Hiro asked as he shrugged. 

 

“You dumb idiot,” Gogo growled from the other side. Hiro raised his eyebrows as he frowned. 

 

“Hey! What does—”

 

“God, seriously?” Gogo asked exasperated. “You should really talk to him. Both of you really need a long overdue talk. Doesn’t care? Hiro, what rock have you been living under? That man brought you home when you were passed out that night! He practically dragged you home, didn’t he? If he really didn’t care, he would’ve left you there at the roadside. Like I said, talk, a long talk with him should clear this up.”

 

“That doesn’t prove anything, Gogo,” Hiro said immediately, cutting her ramble off. “It doesn’t. That’s what people always do. They help each other, because it’s coded in their DNA. Not everyone who helps you means well, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Gogo said, sounding slightly resigned. “Fine, if you think he doesn’t care, then why did he call you forty times?”

 

Hiro didn’t have an answer to that. He rubbed his face before he said, “I don’t know. I—don’t know.”

 

“Fine. If you think he really hates you, fine. I’m not going to change your mind about him, Hiro. Okay?” 

 

Hiro simply smiled to himself grimly. “I…I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

“Okay,” Gogo said. “Just—you don’t hate him, Hiro. You’re just scared that someone actually cares about you.” He didn’t reply to her but he wasn’t that stubborn to not realise that she was telling the truth. “Bye.”

 

He ended the call afterwards as he once again leaned against the wall, letting Gogo’s words to wash into his brain. Care? Did Tadashi really care about him? His heart gnawed at the thought and for some reason, his chest started to feel warm and fuzzy. It was a weird sensation and yet, he couldn’t find it in himself to ignore it. He thumped his chest once and twice with his phone before he shook his head. 

 

Taking in a deep breath, he straightened himself and started to walk to his room. He slid the card over the handle before he opened the door. Once he was inside, he immediately saw Tadashi. The man had stood up from the bed, his eyes wide and his mouth partially opened.

 

For a second, Hiro stood there awkwardly, just staring at him before he cleared his throat. Talk to him? How was he supposed to talk to Tadashi without wanting to throw him off a rooftop? He raised his smartphone before he shook it. Tadashi’s eyes landed on his phone before he looked back at the younger actor. 

 

Before Hiro could speak, Tadashi’s eyes narrowed, and Hiro saw anger washing into those orbs. “ _Where_ the hell have you been?”

 

Hiro was taken aback with the anger. The tone Tadashi used made him feel guilty suddenly for not letting the older man know where he had been. “Uhm…Fred’s room.”

 

Tadashi’s jaw tightened and his eyes sharpened, causing Hiro to twitch under his gaze. The heavy silence that flowed into the scene was very uncomfortable. “ _Fred’s_ room?” Tadashi asked, his voice was careful. 

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said as he licked his lips. He felt like his throat had gone dry and his lips chapped. “I was at Fred’s room. You know Fred. He acted with us before. You know—”

 

Tadashi took a step forward, halting Hiro from speaking any further. What was wrong with him? Hiro wondered briefly if he had really upset Tadashi more than he thought he did. “You disappeared last night, without even calling me, to stay over at Fred’s room? Hiro, just _what_ the _hell_ were you thinking?”

 

Tadashi’s voice rose until Hiro flinched at the volume. He took a cautious step back at the look of pure anger on the older actor’s face. He tightened his grip on his smartphone before looking away from Tadashi, analysing the situation before replying the man. 

 

“Yeah?” Hiro said, uncertain. The guilt that was merely at the edge of his consciousness now was full blown covering every inch of his body. Could Gogo possibly be right? Was Tadashi actually worried? He closed his eyes for a second before he looked back at the taller man. “What?” he asked when Tadashi was staring at him. 

 

“ _What_?” Tadashi asked, his voice was now hushed. It was a contrast from the tone a few moments ago. But his shoulders were still squared and his eyes were still sharp, indicating the younger actor that this situation was far from being solved. “Did you just ask me ‘what’, Hiro?”

 

“Tadashi—”

 

“God, why the hell are you so childish?” 

 

Hiro closed his mouth at the sudden accusation. “What?”

 

“I come back to find that you’re not here. I called you and at first I thought maybe you were just ignoring my calls like you usually do but then you don’t answer— _at all_. You didn’t come back, and I just—and now you’re telling me you spent the night in Fred’s room. Just—what if someone saw, huh? Who’s fault do you think this is that we’re stuck like this in the first place? Why are you so dense?”

 

The words cut like a knife. It hurt, it really did and no matter what Hiro told himself, Tadashi’s words always hurt in a way that he couldn’t really understand. He felt his breath hitching at his throat and his eyes widening. It took a few seconds for the words to finally settle in his mind before he frowned deep. 

 

Suddenly, he felt angry. Angry and acidic, as if he could finally kick down the world to the ground without a care. “Me? Me?” Hiro asked. Tadashi clenched his fist tight, a look of defiance on his face. “What about you, Tadashi? What about that, huh?”

 

“What are you talking about—”

 

“Last night, you went out to eat dinner with Honey, Tadashi! If the paparazzi caught you and Honey being all stupidly in love in public like that, what do you think they’ll do, huh? Don’t act like this is all my fault, damn you! You’re in this mess too!”

 

Tadashi stared at Hiro’s face for a second before he looked away. “Hiro—”

 

It wasn’t that the young actor was purposely acting like this didn’t affect him. It wasn’t as if Hiro didn’t know that this was his fault. He knew that because of his impatience and brashness, he had gotten both of them into this mess. If he had been more matured and less idiotic, they would probably be at home by now, minding their own business.

 

He also knew that he shouldn’t have gone to Fred’s room in the first place, not when they had publicly announced that they were going to this honeymoon spot to solve their relationship problem. And he knew, somewhere deep in his heart, that he had hurt Tadashi with his words that night. He had wanted to apologise but every time he tried, the words came out wrong and annoyed. 

 

Hiro knew all of that. He wasn’t being blind for no reason. But Tadashi was at fault too. He practically implied that Hiro was a menace. That the only reason he was stuck here was because of the young actor. And then—he had gone out to eat dinner with Honey. 

 

Hiro took in a deep breath. Maybe he should’ve done this the minute they arrived here. He dropped his shoulders as he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. 

 

“I’m sorry, alright?” Hiro finally said, his voice shook a bit at the end. His anger dissipated and what left was—hurt. He was hurt because of the words that Tadashi had spouted so carelessly. It was his fault, he realised. It was his fault but he didn’t mean for any of this to happen. 

 

And he had wanted to apologise to Tadashi for dragging him into the mess for a while now but he couldn’t do it because of his ego, because he believed that this man didn’t see him for himself. But even so, he still couldn’t make himself believe that he hated Tadashi like he had said. 

 

Maybe Gogo was right somehow. Maybe he hated Tadashi because he was scared to see that maybe, someone genuinely liked him. But right now—right at this moment, he felt like he had been slapped. He knew that sometimes he was childish. He knew that sometimes, his stubbornness was annoying. But it was with reason. 

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi said quietly. 

 

“I know it’s my fault,” Hiro said as he looked away. “I know that we’re in this stupid mess because of me, because I said some things that—I didn’t mean. I don’t—I don’t hate you, Tadashi. But god, you make me feel so worthless sometimes. You treat me like a child, and then suddenly you act—you act like you care. Just what do you want me to do?” 

 

Silence washed in as Hiro tried to breathe in. His heart was thumping loudly against his chest and his eyes felt wet. How could one person make him feel so much? Especially someone like Tadashi. “I should’ve said this a long time ago, okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say those words to you that night. I was just annoyed because—because you practically told me I was dragging you down.”

 

“What? Hiro,” Tadashi started. “I didn’t—that wasn’t what I meant!”

 

“But that’s what it sounded like!” Hiro said as he looked at the man in the eyes. “That’s what it sounded like to me. I’m—I’m new to this, Tadashi. You’re my rival and yeah, I hate your guts sometimes but I don’t hate _hate_ you, okay? And I’m sorry you don’t see me the same way, just some brat who acts like he doesn’t care—”

 

“I never once looked at you like that, Hiro,” Tadashi cut him off, his voice steady and his eyes that once held anger cooled down to determination and guilt. “I never once thought of you as a—a brat or annoying. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just…I was just irritated that you would accuse me, implicate that I didn’t care about what was going on, what they were making us do. I _do_!”

 

Hiro watched the emotions play out on Tadashi’s face. The young actor knew that today was the day that everything was being put out in the open. His confusion, emotions and insecurities was bare for Tadashi to see. He didn’t think in a million years that he would be doing this, right now, right here, in this room, this way. 

 

But here he was, without uncertainty, spilling out his doubts to this man, who he once called an enemy. It seemed like their hate-hate relationship actually held something more significant than just rivalry. Maybe everyone else saw that but them. 

 

“Really?” Hiro asked, his voice quiet and doubtful. Tadashi took a step forward and nodded. 

 

“I really do, Hiro,” Tadashi said. “I’m…I’m sorry. I thought—I don’t hate you, Hiro. I couldn’t. I don’t have a reason to hate you. I actually care for you, a lot.”

 

“Why?” Hiro asked. “Why do you care for me? Why would you go through the trouble to care for me? I didn’t do anything to warrant your attention. I—we snark and snap at each other a lot, Tadashi. How can you say you care for me?”

 

“I…I just do.” Tadashi licked his lips as he sighed. “Don’t ask me why, I don’t know, okay? Just, I do. And I get worried for you. When I can’t see you, when I don’t know where you are, I get worried. Don’t, please don’t disappear like that. Not again.”

 

Hiro watched how the man tried to calm himself down. He noticed how Tadashi’s face was not bright right now. It was glum, an expression that didn’t suit the older actor. Hiro found himself disliking the face quickly. “And what if I don’t share the same sentiment?” Tadashi glanced at him quietly. “What if I don’t care for you like that?”

 

“I’ll still care for you either way,” Tadashi said without missing a beat. Hiro’s eyes widened from the words. They were honest words, he later decided. Tadashi always meant what he said. His heart started to beat faster against his chest again. His cheeks reddened and his eyes watered. He felt—warm inside and the hurt just now disappeared. 

 

Hiro didn’t know what this all meant. Where did this put them? Hiro could never look at Tadashi with distaste again. He couldn’t bring himself to keep up the facade of dislike for this man. “What now?” he asked, his voice cracked a bit. 

 

Tadashi blinked once and then twice before Hiro noticed the familiar smile creeping on the man’s face. And then, he grinned. The young actor was taken aback at the brightness from the smile. Hiro noticed immediately the sincerity in the smile. Tadashi finally smiled genuinely at him and it looked so different from the times he had smiled before. 

 

It looked…real. 

 

Something special. Hiro’s heart fluttered ever so slightly as he felt his face heating up some more. “I want us to be friends.”

 

The words stunned Hiro for another few seconds before he blinked. “Friends?” 

 

Tadashi nodded as he took a cautious step forward. “I—I don’t want us to be just rivals anymore, Hiro. I…can’t we be friends?”

 

“Is that what you want?” Hiro asked.

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said. “I want us to be friends.”

 

Hiro contemplated the idea for a minute. Being friends with Tadashi? All this while, all these years, the closest they ever became was this—weird relationship. It wasn’t close to friendship but it wasn’t complete rivalry either. Now, Tadashi wanted to be friends with him? As if not just colleagues but actual friends? 

 

The young actor didn’t know what this sudden new strange feeling inside of him was. The same feeling that had bugged him these past few days. He knew everything about Tadashi, probably not the good parts of Tadashi but still something about this man here from their weird dynamic relationship. And now, he was going to tip toe into another territory with him. 

 

He opened his mouth and before he could rethink again about his decision, he said, “Okay.”

 

It was a short answer that came out in slight doubt because even so, this was still Tadashi they were talking about. It was about the same actor who was liked by all, wanted by all. The same man who was still in this pretend relationship with Hiro. But that all didn’t register in Hiro’s head anymore when he witnessed another brilliant genuine smile from Tadashi. 

 

Tadashi held out his hand and Hiro stared at it with mixed feelings. Was he doing the right thing?

 

“Then let’s start over.” Tadashi shook his hand slightly catching Hiro’s attention. “Let’s shake hands and begin again. I want to know more about you, Hiro. If you’d let me.”

 

Hiro felt his throat had suddenly gone dry. He just eyed the hand like it was going to bite him and doubt started to cement itself in his mind. If he shook the hand, he was agreeing to this…friendship. He was going to let Tadashi into his life. This man was going to know everything about his past, one way or the other. 

 

Was he ready for this transition?

 

He slowly touched Tadashi’s hand before he slid his hand against Tadashi’s. Apparently, his heart wanted him to do this. He bit his bottom lip before he took in a deep breath. “Okay,” he said finally as he looked atTadashi. 

 

Tadashi grinned once more before he shook Hiro’s hand and nodded. After a while, he said, “Okay.”

 

*** 

 

To be honest, Hiro didn’t know the first thing about being friends with Tadashi. He calculated the odd of this thing, this friendship, lasting longer than their rivalry and found that the odds were stacked against each other. Tadashi apologised once more about Honey and decided that they should get lunch together, like they were supposed to. 

 

For the first time in his life, he tried to think that talking to Tadashi was like talking to someone new, not someone who he had a grudge on for so long. Just someone new, someone he had just met and someone he decided to get to know. The conversation didn’t die into an awkward silence when they had nothing else to talk.

 

It was as if they found a new understanding about each other. 

 

“Here,” Tadashi said as he handed a cup of iced lemon tea before sitting down next to Hiro. The younger actor took the cup and smiled awkwardly before he looked back to the beach. 

 

“Thanks,” Hiro said before he sipped his drink. The young actor wasn’t a naturally friendly person. He had layers of walls around his heart and it would take a long time before someone could get past those walls to get to his true self. He glanced at Tadashi from the corner of his eyes, wondering if maybe, all this time, Tadashi had already gotten past those walls. 

 

Then of course, came the question, would he succeed getting past the older man’s walls in return? Hiro frowned slightly at that thought. He knew that Tadashi had some walls around himself, separating his true self from the public eye. Hiro knew that whoever Tadashi was couldn’t possibly be all that. 

 

There must be something more underneath all that kindness. Underneath all that; all that everything, just like how Hiro had someone else underneath all of this—facade. Hiro pondered silently in his head. He had never thought he would be here, thinking about how to see Tadashi’s true self after convincing himself all these years that he hated him. 

 

Well, technically, he disliked Tadashi and maybe because he didn’t give the man a chance. But now that they were here, Hiro wondered if he was ever going to get past those walls. Just like how his walls were, he wondered if it was going to take some time for Tadashi to let Hiro in as well. 

 

Then, Hiro stopped himself from thinking any further. 

 

His thoughts were beginning to sound weird. His heart made a gentle flutter at the thought at being the only one so far to have seen Tadashi without those protective layers surrounding him. But that wasn’t going to happen, was it? Hiro knew his thoughts were beginning to sound like he was really—together with Tadashi. 

 

Hiro scoffed out loud, hoping to clear the sudden images in his head. “What?” Tadashi asked, catching his attention. Hiro glanced at him, momentarily forgotten that Tadashi was sitting next to him. His cheeks dyed red as he looked away, hoping his weird heart would stop beating so fast. 

 

“Nothing,” the young actor said. He heard Tadashi sigh. 

 

“Hiro, I thought we’re going to try and be friends,” Tadashi said. 

 

“Really,” Hiro said as he looked at Tadashi once he felt his face was no longer red. “It’s nothing.” Tadashi eyed him for a second before he nodded. Just then, Tadashi’s phone rang, breaking the silence. Tadashi answered it quickly after just one look at the caller ID. 

 

“Hey,” Tadashi said with a grin on his face. Hiro watched him silently at how his eyes sparkled and his whole body relaxed. His heart gave a loud painful throb when he realised that there could be only one reason to Tadashi’s sudden change of demeanour. 

 

The person who had called Tadashi was none other than—

 

“Honey,” Tadashi said, as his grin grew. 

 

Hiro gripped the cup he was holding tighter and his chest felt stuffy. It was this feeling again whenever Honey was involved. This acidic feeling that could dissolve anything inside of him. Hiro didn’t like this feeling at all. In fact, if he knew what this feeling was, he would do everything in his power to stop himself from feeling this way again. 

 

What had Honey ever done to him anyway? 

 

But then Tadashi’s face lightened and Hiro felt himself hating her even more. For unknown reasons, he felt irrationally hateful—spiteful towards her. It took a few seconds before he realised that he didn’t like her anywhere near Tadashi. 

 

That sent some waves of confusion in him all over again as he looked away from Tadashi to the sea view. 

 

He touched his chest absent-mindedly and huffed out a humourless laugh. Why was he feeling this way? Just as he was mulling on his thoughts, Tadashi finally ended the call with her. Was it true? Was Tadashi really with Honey after all? 

 

Were they in love? 

 

Hiro’s heart gave another painful squeeze and he got even more irritated. “Honey?” Hiro asked without thinking twice, his voice sounded—dry even to his own ears. 

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said, and Hiro could feel the happiness in the tone even without looking at him. 

 

The question itched to be asked. Hiro wanted to know, if they really were together. Were the tabloid news true? He knew that he wouldn’t like the answer, but as he sipped the drink, he couldn’t help himself. 

 

“Are you and Honey together?”

 

“Huh?” Tadashi asked. Hiro looked at him, making sure he kept his emotions in check and shrugged casually. 

 

“You and Honey,” Hiro said. “You guys together?”

 

“Together as if in?” Tadashi asked, his eyebrows were furrowed slightly. 

 

“Oh God, don’t tell me you’re that dense,” Hiro said as he raised his eyebrows. “Together, as a couple.”

 

Tadashi’s face immediately dyed red and he grinned. Hiro could see the sheepishness in his eyes. “Me? Me and Honey?” Tadashi asked before he laughed, even though it sounded awkward. “Come on, Hiro. We? No!”

 

Hiro simply looked unimpressed. It was only a moment later before Tadashi finally smiled a bit shyly. “I mean…she doesn’t know.”

 

Hiro knew what he was trying to say. He knew and yet—he had to ask. “You like her, don’t you?” 

 

Tadashi simply shrugged before he rubbed the back of his neck. “I—yeah, you can say that. She’s beautiful and smart and, she’s hilarious. She just gets me, Hiro.” Hiro felt something in him shattering when he saw how—entranced Tadashi looked. 

 

It was as if—

 

“Are you in love with her?” Hiro asked quietly. 

 

Tadashi kept quiet before he smiled. But that smile was a dead give-away. Hiro clenched on his cup and tried to control his feelings. The confusion, the disappointment and something else was clawing his chest. It was burning inside of him in the most painful way ever. 

 

It almost made him feel like he should cry it all out. 

 

He blinked once and then twice, already feeling his eyes becoming wet. What was happening to him? 

 

“Then you should tell her!” Hiro said, trying to feign normalcy. Tadashi simply looked at him before he sighed. 

 

“Nah, we have a very good friendship going on,” Tadashi said as he looked at the sea view. “I don’t want to ruin it with—my feelings.”

 

“Maybe she feels the same way, you will never know if you don't tell her,” Hiro found himself replying and he didn’t know why he was doing this to himself. 

 

“Yeah?” Tadashi asked as he glanced at Hiro with a grin. “You think she feels the same way?”

 

Hiro simply shrugged. “Probably.”

 

Tadashi nodded but he didn’t say anything else. “Even if she did, I can’t do anything about it now.”

 

Hiro furrowed his eyebrows at that. Tadashi noticed the confusion before he continued, “Not while we’re still together. I’ll wait. I’ll tell her after this.”

 

The young actor found himself staring at the cup in his hands as he processed the words in his head. Huh. He felt really empty right now. Hiro didn’t know how to reply to that. “Okay,” was all he could muster up before he decided to leave. His emotions were a mess and for unknown reasons, he felt like he wanted to cry. He stood up and stretched lightly before he said, “We should go. It’s going to rain.”

 

“Yeah, let’s go,” Tadashi said as he stood up as well. Hiro followed Tadashi back to the room and immediately walked to the bathroom. He closed the door and leaned against it. He felt hurt inside and it made it hard to think. 

 

He touched his chest again as he slowly slid down to the bathroom floor. As he glanced to the hand that was touching his chest, he really wondered what was going on with him in the past few days. 

 

‘Hey, heart? I think you’re finally working after all these years. Are you starting up now?’ he thought to himself. 

 

His heart simply thumped loudly once as an answer. 

 

It still didn’t clear anything up to Hiro.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine!
> 
> A/N: Hihi~! Uhm...sorry for the late update?? //hidesbehindarock// I mean...I was busy and uhm, exams, and yeah, hah, real life pulled me away from my internet life, thus, tada! Late update. //shot// Anyways~ I'm not very sure about this chapter because well...I'm not sure. I can't really say anything here because it'll ruin the plot of this chapter, so what I'm saying is, I hope I didn't disappoint! 
> 
> I also want to thank those who have read, kudos, bookmarked and subscribed! Enjoy~! 
> 
>  
> 
> My happy little pill, take me away, dry my eyes — Happy Little Pill (Troye Sivan)

 

His heart wasn’t listening to him. Hiro touched his chest once more, staring at the ceiling of the hotel room, wide awake even though it was almost three in the morning. The words from a few hours ago ran through his mind without a break. His feelings were jumbled up, from the sudden change in their ‘relationship’, from being practically hating to each other to—friends? tolerating each other? he didn’t know what to call this yet. 

 

He took in a deep breath. The young actor had no idea why he was feeling so confused about everything. 

 

Tadashi was in love with Honey. 

 

He wanted to be with her. 

 

He would’ve been with her if he didn’t have to be forced into this relationship. 

 

The image of them two together, laughing, holding hands, smiling brightly, didn’t make Hiro feel good. It felt like he was being scathed inside. What was this burning hot feeling that he couldn’t cool?

 

He knew that somewhere in between his supposedly hate and admiration for the man; there was this soft flutter whenever Tadashi did something nice or out of the blue kind for Hiro. Now, apparently, it resurfaced full force. He slowly sat up and sighed gently. 

 

He was sweating even when he knew the hotel room was colder than the temperature outside. It took him a few hours before he could finally identify what this hole in his heart was. He was _hurting_. 

 

And Tadashi was apparently the cause of this hurt. 

 

He furrowed his eyebrows and frowned, not liking this feeling at all. But he had a nagging noise at the back of his mind that it wasn't going to disappear. Not before putting him through a roller coaster ride. 

 

He was dreading just from the thought of it. 

 

Hiro ran his fingers through his hair, the corner of his eyes caught movement from the bed next to his. The young actor looked at the bed and just stared at how calm Tadashi looked at the moment. His eyes were closed and his face was relaxed, making him look younger than before under the soft lights filtering through the curtains. 

 

His heart thumped loudly once and he felt his face heating up. His neck felt hot and his entire body felt weird. Panic started to bubble through him. The more he stared at the man, the more he felt like this. Tadashi looked so different under these dimming lights. 

 

What was happening to him? He looked away and frantically got out of bed. He grabbed his sweater from the suitcase and decided to leave the room before anything else ended up running into his mind. He didn’t know why he felt flustered all of a sudden. 

 

The pain that accompanied right immediately after he calmed down had him doubling for air as he gasped. 

 

He touched his chest one more time, the umpteenth time since he started to give more attention to these feelings for Tadashi. 

 

He leaned against the elevator wall as he waited for the ground floor to greet him. He needed air to think clearly. Hiro needed something solid to grasp on, something that didn’t hurt him like this. And to think it was because of Tadashi didn’t make him feel any better. 

 

It all started when Tadashi admitted he was in love with Honey. 

 

His heart just thumped and ached the entire time after that. 

 

The door of the elevator opened and Hiro walked out, still frantically wanting to get out to the open. The wind that greeted him just as he walked out of the hotel calmed him down a bit. But it still didn’t remove the panic in his head. 

 

He didn't have a problem with Tadashi dating anyone before. He licked his suddenly dry lips, wondering if Tadashi _had_ dated anyone else before Honey. But just as the thought started to conjure up some images of him with someone else, he stopped and pushed it away, not liking the feeling he was getting at all. 

 

He chuckled dryly when he realised for a minute if maybe, he was starting to get a bit too attached to this fake relationship. He stopped walking, staring at the pavement, trying to process the information. His heart once again thumped when he went back to thinking about Honey and Tadashi together. 

 

It _hurt_. 

 

For a second, he felt clammy and he clenched his eyes tight when he recalled how Tadashi looked with Honey at the restaurant, bright and happy. Something that he couldn’t have—couldn’t be with Hiro. 

 

His mind screeched to ahalt as he opened his eyes. Once again, the panic surged him and took him off guard. His knees felt weak as he struggled to deny the truth of what he had discovered. 

 

That wasn’t possible, was it?

 

But what else made sense?

 

He refused to admit though. He refused to acknowledge this— _this_ out of everything else. How had he even harboured this particular feeling for Tadashi? But most importantly, when had this started? Why had it crept on him without him noticing and decided to show itself now? 

 

But his mind agreed with the truth, with the revelation—because what else could explain this hurt, this heat in his chest? His eyes watered as he tried to push away the panic.

 

He ended up squatting down, trying to breathe as the loneliness, the disappointment, the hurt and the anger washing into him in one big mess. 

 

He couldn’t believe he had let himself do this—he just couldn’t believe it. 

 

Butat the end, there it was, for him to either accept it or not. 

 

_Damnit_ , Hiro cursed mentally as he took in a shaky breath. How could he even look at Tadashi right now in the eyes? Knowing that one day, down the road, this facade would end and he would end up with Honey? How could he even look at the man in the face and act civil?

 

How could he had fallen for Tadashi of all people?

 

How could he had liked Tadashi like that? 

 

How could he had let himself fall?

 

 

***

 

He didn’t even get enough sleep. Tadashi was talking about something but Hiro was more stuck on contemplating where he should go from here. He stabbed on the tomato and moved it around the plate. When he felt a hand on his head, he flinched and snapped his head to look at the man, realising that he had zoned out. 

 

Tadashi’s hand was poised in mid air—somehow he had noticed the flinch. The older man stared at him for a second before he pulled his hand away, a frown marking on his face. Hiro glanced down to his plate, cursing himself inwardly. He hated that frown, he really did. 

 

“Hiro?” Tadashi asked quietly. “Are you okay?”

 

“Fine,” Hiro said quickly as he shoved the tomato into his mouth, hoping he would look normal. He glanced at Tadashi and gave him a quick smile, a smile that felt hollow on his lips. Tadashi narrowed his eyes at the smile and opened his mouth only for his smartphone to ring, interrupting him. 

 

Hiro sighed in relief when Tadashi picked up the phone but tensed up immediately when he realised who it was. 

 

“Honey?” Tadashi said as Hiro squeezed his eyes shut, knowing now why he felt like he couldn’t breathe whenever he mentioned her name. He opened his eyes when he heard Tadashi laughing a bit. He knew he shouldn’t, but he risked a glance at the older actor and immediately hated what he was seeing. 

 

Tadashi was practically glowing, like the man was being bathed in sun rays. 

 

The younger actor sighed gently as his heart ached again. He was still confused beyond anything to how he could have let himself fall for Tadashi. What made him think that this man in front of him was safe to like—safe to let his heart feel for? They weren’t close before, not in the way that would warrant something like this to bloom from. 

 

So, where had he gone wrong? 

 

Tadashi didn’t act any different with him, didn’t act like how he was acting with Honey, so why had Hiro decided it was a good choice to fall for him? The confusion gently melted away into apprehension and frustration. It made him feel sick inside. 

 

His head started to hurt, from the lack of sleep, from the strain, from the mess his feelings were, he felt like he had hit a new low in his life. He stood up, unable to breathe again. Tadashi looked at Hiro, paused in mid-conversation. “I,” Hiro started. He looked at Tadashi and gulped, trying to calm down, trying to place a mask over his face. “I have to call someone—uhm—so, I’ll see you soon.”

 

“Hiro—”

 

“See ya,” Hiro said before he left, not knowing where he was going or who to call. But he knew he needed to call somebody after all. The first person that popped into his head was his aunt. He fumbled with the smartphone until he called her, his hands shaking slightly from the fear of—what he was getting into. 

 

Was it too late to back out?

 

“Hiro?” Cass answered on the first ring. Hiro breathed out in relief, feeling himself comforted slightly by her voice. “Hey, how are you? I’m sorry, dear. I wanted to call but your agent advised it would be better if you both run your course.”

 

“Aunt Cass?” he said, sounding so unsure of himself for the first time since his parents died. Cass stopped rambling and quietened down. 

 

“Hiro? What’s wrong?” she asked. 

 

“I…,” Hiro started but as he continued to walk, somewhere, anywhere, the real reason to why he called was becoming harder to speak of. “I just need to hear you, that’s all.” He settled with that as he tried to breathe in properly, his heart calmed down and the hurt gently vanished until it was just a humming ache. 

 

“Okay,” Cass said, this time she sounded unsure. “Wanna talk about it?”

 

“I don’t know,” the young actor said as he ran his free hand through his hair. “I just—don’t know.”

 

“Hiro, what’s eating you up? You sound off,” Cass said with a gentle sigh. 

 

“Aunt Cass,” Hiro started as he found a bench to sit down. He slumped with a sigh of his own. “I think I dug my own grave.”

 

“Huh?” Cass said confused. “Did you get into some kind of trouble?”

 

“Maybe,” Hiro said. “I mean, maybe it’s a trouble, one kind of trouble.”

 

“Hiro,” Cass started worriedly. “What’s going on?”

 

“I—” But the words were stuck in his throat. It was there, the words were there, formed and ready tobe spit out, but he just couldn’t say it. He was too scared to admit it, to admit that this was real. But Cass was patient, quiet and waiting for her nephew to speak. “I think I like Tadashi.”

 

The words tasted awful, bitter and horrifying at the same time. And yet, there was something like relief washing into him, as if the burden since last night left him. He felt the pressure against his chest, that heavy feeling leaving him. He sighed loudly as he rubbed his face. 

 

“You like Tadashi?” Cass asked carefully, unbelieving. “Uhm, that’s great, honey?”

 

“Aunt Cass,” Hiro started, getting slightly frustrated when he realised she didn’t believe him. “I like him. I _like_ him, Aunt Cass. I don’t know when this happened or how or what the hell made me think it was okay to like him, but I _do_. Aunt Cass, I—I like him.”

 

Cass was quiet, and he knew that she was processing this. “Hiro, so what’s the big deal? He seemed like a good guy now that you’re spending some quality time with him and you finally think he’s nice enough to like. So, that’s good right? I mean…what else is wrong with it?”

 

Hiro felt the frustration peaking in him. She didn’t get it. She thought he liked him like a friend, but—“Aunt Cass, I like him, like…I have an unrequited _crush_ on him.”

 

The words once again tasted horrible, tasted like defeat but it also tasted like the truth, the truth that he couldn’t deny no matter what now. 

 

That sharp breath on the other side suggested that Cass finally got the idea. “Hiro,” she started. “Are you—are you sure? How—but you hated him!”

 

She sounded as baffled as he felt. “I don’t know, I just don’t know. I like him, Aunt Cass. And—and I can’t breathe. I couldn’t wrap my head around this, how did this happen, when did this happen, why did this happen—I…I hate this feeling.”

 

“Dear, calm down, take a deep breath, just calm down,” she assured him. He felt the starting of a panic attack at the back of his head. He followed her advice and took in a deep breath. “Okay,” she said carefully. “Hiro, don’t freak out. Okay, just don’t freak out. How—when did you realise this?”

 

“Last night,” Hiro said. “Last night. I realised it last night.”

 

“Right, so what brought this on? What made you realise it?”

 

The words had him squeezing his eyes. He gripped his smartphone tight before he gritted his teeth. There it was again, the painful squeeze in his chest. “Tadashi and I got into a fight yesterday because I didn’t come back to the room and it was also because I was mad at him for—for—treating me as a kid, for making me feel unwanted for—god, I don't even know, so we got into a fight and somehow, we ended up as friends because he didn’t want to do this anymore and somewhere inside of me, I didn’t want it too and—”

 

“Hiro, take a breather,” Cass joked. “You’re about to run out of breath.”

 

“Sorry,” Hiro said, and for the first time since last night, he ended up smiling a bit. “Sorry, anyway, uhm, ya, I got into a fight with him and we became friends. Then—uhm…he told me about Honey. How—how he loves her.”

 

“Oh,” Cass said slowly. “Oh, dear, Hiro.”

 

“I mean, why?” Hiro asked, his voice croaked. “Why didn’t I just shut up? I was the one who asked him if he loved Honey. You should see him, Aunt Cass, how bright he was whenever he talked about her, how whenever she was around, he would just—glow. And it made me curious and he told me he loved her. He was—in love with her. He wanted to be with her. And I—didn’t like that.”

 

“You didn’t like that?”

 

“No,” Hiro said honestly. “I don’t like the thought of them being together at all. And it made me confused so I thought about it a lot—and—and I…you know the rest.”

 

Cass sighed gently and Hiro flinched at the response. “What do you want to do?”

 

“What do you mean?” Hiro asked cautiously. “I can’t do anything, that’s what.”

 

“Hiro, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said softly. He shook his head, not knowing actually what he was going to do. 

 

“I can’t say anything about this to anyone, Aunt Cass, especially to him,” Hiro said quietly. “The media will tear me up if they found out, Tadashi would actually really hate me if he knew, and—I, honestly, don’t want to feel this way about him. I feel uncomfortable.”

 

“Uncomfortable knowing you can never tell him about it?” she asked. 

 

“I don’t know,” Hiro said as he placed his hand against his chest. “I guess and it’s so ironic how the first time I liked anyone after so long would end up being unrequited.”

 

“Do you want it to be requited?”

 

Hiro’s face reddened at the mere prospect about it and his heart thumped loudly. “I—”

 

“What if it ended up requited?” Cass asked. 

 

“Don’t be silly, Aunt Cass,” Hiro said quickly, the panic changed into curiosity. “He’s—he’s in love with Honey. He doesn’t like—me like that, I mean…he doesn’t swing that way.”

 

“You do?”

 

Hiro frowned at that. “No,” he said definitely. “No, maybe—I…don’t know.”

 

“You have a lot to think about, don’t you?” she asked gently and Hiro sighed. 

 

“Yeah, and I just needed to talk to you,” Hiro said helplessly. Cass hummed out as a response but she didn’t reply verbally, letting the silence do the rest of the talking. His heart did feel lighter now that he had somebody to talk to but that didn’t mean his problems were solved. 

 

No, he had even more to think about. 

 

After the call with Cass, he silently began mulling about everything. Did he like other people like that? He frowned deeper at the thought and he could honestly say that no, he didn’t. He had never looked at any other guy that way at all. In irritation, in politeness, in friendliness, that was as far as his admiration in men went. 

 

So, it was only Tadashi. 

 

But the question remained again as to how this was possible. 

 

Just as he was about to get up, he heard Tadashi calling him from afar. He looked to his left and found the older actor jogging towards him. “Hiro!” he said as he stood in front of the you him, panting and trying to catch his breath. “Why did you run off?”

 

Hiro blinked once and twice. “You looked for me?”

 

Tadashi furrowed his eyebrows confused before he stood up straight, seemingly to have caught his breath. “Of course I looked for you,” he said, his voice was careful. “You ran off without telling me anything.”

 

“Well,” Hiro said as he took a step back, his eyes left the man’s face and raised his smartphone. “I told you I was calling someone.” 

 

“Right,” Tadashi said though he sounded like he wasn’t buying it. Hiro sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair and glanced at him. 

 

“It’s the truth, I called my aunt,” Hiro said. Tadashi looked at him, his eyes searching the young actor’s face before he sighed himself. 

 

“You looked off ever since this morning,” Tadashi said slowly. “Is something wrong?”

 

“No,” Hiro said quickly, his heart beat lurched at the thought that even Tadashi could read him. “No, nothing’s wrong.”

 

“I find that hard to believe,” Tadashi said. “I thought we agreed we’ll put everything behind us. Start new, be friends. We can’t do that if you’re reverting back to this all the time, Hiro.”

 

The clamminess is back. He felt the frustration once again throttling him from inside. “Look Tadashi, I’m fine,” he said quietly. “I’m fine, okay? I’m sorry if this isn’t what you’re expecting from me but you have to understand, Tadashi.” The young actor then looked at him properly in the eyes, “I spent this entire time somehow disliking you, and—and admiring you for no reason, okay? Suddenly, we’re friends? I need time to adjust.” _Time to get used to these things I feel for you_ , was left unsaid. 

 

Tadashi watched him quietly. Hiro could see the displeasure written on his face but at the end, he took a step back, nodding. The relief that he didn’t have to tell him anything more washed into him. “I guess,” Tadashi said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “But you’re okay, right? I mean, we’re okay? I know you need time, it’s—a big change. I’m trying too. But—let’s try together yeah?”

 

Hiro’s heart ached again, it wasn’t strong, but it was there, reminding him that he was never going to be content with just this, even if he didn’t want anything more with this man in front of him. “Yeah, we’re fine,” Hiro said as he gave the older actor another smile, trying not to sound hollow. Tadashi smiled back. “We’re okay.”

 

“Good,” Tadashi said. “Good.”

 

Yeah, great. 

 

***

 

The rest of the days flew by without much happening, besides Hiro trying really hard not to flinch every time Honey was mentioned. He was still freaked out with these feelings for Tadashi. Halfway, he wished that this was all a dream, that he would wake up in a minute or so. 

 

Sometimes, he would knock his head against the bathroom walls, wishing he had the courage to just hit his head hard enough so he would get an amnesia. It made things even worse when they had to share a room. At the beginning, it was irritating, it reminded him of the older actor’s presence every time. 

 

But Hiro got used to it, he found that it was comforting and that emptiness in his heart was gently filling up. He even made through the week without having his usual nightmares, Tadashi never discovering his horrible sleeping patterns. 

 

He was glad when the week was done. He was glad that he was now on his way home, on his way to recovery, on his way to get rid of these feelings. He made up his mind halfway through the week that he couldn’t harbour these feelings for Tadashi. It was unprofessional and—it would only hurt him even more than it already did if he continued to have them. 

 

But another part of him disagreed. Told him that it wasn’t going to happen, that these feelings were there, stuck and glued to him. And even if he wanted to remove them, then it was likely he would get even more hurt in the process. He talked to Tadashi along the way, feigning that he was fine, that he was coping everything well, that he was genuinely interested in being civil with him. 

 

However, once he got out of the jet, once he found out that he would be riding a separate car to his house, he was able to say goodbye to Tadashi and get into the car without saying anything else to the older actor. 

 

He was home before he knew it, his mind was preoccupied at how empty it felt all of a sudden that Tadashi wasn’t next to him. He got out of the car, thanked the driver and walked into the big house. Cass was waiting for him at the entrance with a smile. Hiro smiled at her before he dropped his bags at the entrance and hugged her tight, burying his face at her shoulder and inhaling the motherly scent he grown accustomed to, had grown to calm him down. 

 

She ran her fingers through his hair, smiled as she kissed his head. “Come on, wash up and I’ll make for you something to eat.”

 

Hiro pulled away as he looked at her. “Pancakes?” he asked with a grin. Cass rolled her eyes before she nodded, agreeing. 

 

“Go on, and they’ll be ready.” 

 

“Aunt Cass? Thanks,” Hiro said as his grin morphed into a warm smile. His aunt kissed his forehead and pushed him into the house with a tiny laugh. 

 

“I know,” she said. 

 

***

 

She sat in front of him as he took a bite of the pancake. “So, how was your week?” she asked. Hiro was looking through his smartphone to realise it was a message from his agent, wanting to meet him tonight. He replied his consent and placed the phone next to him, smiling at her as he took another bite. 

 

“It was alright,” he said with a shrug even though he knew what she meant. He avoided her eyes as he stared at the plate. 

 

“Hiro,” she started. “Has the reality settled in yet?”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said as he sighed and placed the fork to the side. He rubbed his face with both of his hands before he leaned into the chair and stared at his aunt with a defeated smile. “I mean…I’m such an idiot, aren’t I?”

 

“You’ve always been a bit dense when it comes to the matter of your heart, Hiro,” she said casually though there was humour in her tone. “But you know,” she continued after a minute of silence. “The magical thing about the matters of the heart is that, time is the only solution for everything.”

 

“Time?” Hiro asked. 

 

“Time,” Cass agreed. “You’re hurting, time can heal you. You’re angry, time will calm you down. You’re frustrated? Time will tell you everything will be fine. Hiro, the best part about letting yourself feel is…one way or the other, there’s no such thing as a wrong feeling.” She touched her chest before she smiled widely. “It knows what you need. It will find whatever and however to fix the pain, the loneliness, the desperation.”

 

Hiro gently touched his own chest. “Tadashi is my fix for this loneliness? This…this hurt?”

 

“It’s what your heart thinks,” Cass said gently. “It could be mistaken, of course. It might feel right, but it could’ve chosen the wrong person to place its hope on. But most of time, if you listen to it, it’sright.”

 

Hiro mulled at the words, as his heart beat loudly again, letting him know that she was right, that it wanted to be listened to. It wanted to heal. But Hiro didn’t know if he was ready, ready to actually let himself feel. He shook his head and Cass sighed. “I can’t do it,” he said. “I can’t let someone like him get close to me.”

 

“Like who?” Cass questioned. 

 

“Someone like him, Aunt Cass,” he said. “Someone so kind, someone so genuine that he could make everything else feel like a lie. I can’t ever match up to that. Heck, nobody can.” Except Honey, his mind provided unhelpfully. 

 

“You’re just stuck, Hiro,” Cass said. “You don’t know what to do when you finally realise you trust someone more than you trust yourself. Somehow, one way or the other, you let him in. I don’t know why and it seems like you don’t know either. But somehow you did.”

 

“I trust him?” Hiro asked, more like to himself. Did he trust Tadashi? Yeah, he did. Maybe he didn’t look like it, but he did trust the man. He trusted that Tadashi would always do the right thing, that he would always do the nice thing, the kind thing, because that was who Tadashi presented himself as. 

 

So, that made him like Tadashi? Because he felt comfortable knowing that Tadashi was never a wrong choice? That even if he still disliked the man, he still felt safe to show his emotions to him? It didn’t make sense, but at the same time, it was the only reason that he could find to why he liked Tadashi. 

 

He looked at Cass and smiled weakly. He just felt really exhausted at the moment. He felt like he was coming to the end of the rope. He didn’t think he want to hold any longer. This fame, this pressure, the expectations, it was beginning to tear him down. 

 

Because he knew, that if he agreed to try this feeling, if he decided to wear this feeling, he wouldn’t get away with it. They will keep him away, lock him up, making sure he knew where he stood because he was still their asset. He was still a public image. 

 

He didn’t have the free will to be himself ever since he joined this industry. 

 

If he wanted to keep these feelings, he had to leave. 

 

But that would mean returning back to where he came from, back where he left. 

 

Back to San Fransokyo.

 

He licked his suddenly dry lips. 

 

It seemed like he had no more choice. He had to go back sooner or later and right now, it felt like it will be soon. 

 

***

 

“Well, thanks to this plan of ours, while you both were away, we managed to do some damage control,” Gordon said with a smile. Hiro was in a cafe, meeting up with his agent. He smiled at his agent before he settled into his seat properly. “You’ll have an interview tomorrow evening, just to straighten this whole mess up for good and then, you both are back in business!”

 

“Yay,” Hiro said dryly. “Hey, when do you think we’ll be done with this act?”

 

Gordon raised his eyebrows before he sighed. “Hiro, I know you don’t like Tadashi very much, but can’t you just hold on a bit more longer?” 

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Tadashi. He was sure that if Gordon knew the real intention of him asking about this, he would faint from the shock. “No,” Hiro said dryly and honestly. 

 

Gordon snorted as he shook his head. “Just a few more months, I promise.”

 

And Hiro didn’t ask anymore after that.

 

***

 

The next day, Hiro was already at the backstage, ready for the interview. Tadashi was a few feet from him, adjusting his suit as he talked to the makeup artist, laughing brightly when she cracked a joke. Hiro watched quietly as he sipped his bottle of mineral water, smiling to himself as he watched the laughter. 

 

Tadashi’s eyes then met his and his laugh dimmed into a gentle smile. Hiro’s eyes widened as his heart started to beat faster against his chest. Had Tadashi seen him? He smiled back nervously before looking away, gulping down the bottle of water without stopping to breathe. 

 

Being caught made him felt flustered. He hated how childish he was acting at the moment but—he was embarrassed. A hand touched the bottle and pried it away from his mouth carefully when he was halfway done with the water. 

 

Tadashi raised his eyebrows as he shook the bottle a bit. “You sure you want to drink all of this,” he asked though there was amusement in his tone. Hiro blinked at the older actor before he snatched the bottle from Tadashi’s grasp. 

 

“Well, uh, it’s my choice,” he said lamely, his heart starting to beat loudly against his chest again. Tadashi chuckled and Hiro’s face reddened when he realised how close he was at the moment with him. 

 

“Sure, but you might regret later on,” Tadashi said. Hiro looked away from the older actor and shrugged. 

 

“Whatever,” he said as he looked at his feet, gathering enough courage to look at the man. When he finally did look at the man, he caught how soft the brown eyes were looking back at him. His breath hitched at his throat and his face felt hotter. 

 

Tadashi’s eyebrows once again raised in slight confusion before he raised his hand and touched his cheek. Hiro froze at where he stood, staring at what Tadashi was doing. His mind went blank and for a second, all he could focus was how warm Tadashi’s hand felt on his face. “What—what are you doing?” Hiro croaked out as panic started to bubble in his chest. 

 

“Your face is all red,” Tadashi said as he pulled his hand away. “And you feel hot. Are you alright?”

 

“F—fine!” Hiro exclaimed as he took a few steps back from Tadashi. Before he could say anything more, the backstage manager had told them it was time for them to head on stage. Hiro quickly took the opportunity to move away from Tadashi. Taking in a deep breath to calm himself down, he was finally ushered out on stage where the host was waiting with a grin on his face. 

 

“Well, look who we got tonight!” the host said as he gestured Hiro to sit down opposite of him. 

 

“Hi,” the young actor immediately smiled like he was designed to. The host enjoyed the politeness before he introduced Tadashi as well. “Now, let’s get back to the topic of this week.” The screen in front of them lit up and the article about their fight appeared.

 

‘Trouble in Paradise?’ it read and Hiro had to stop himself from cringing at that drama. Tadashi shifted in his seat too, obviously already uncomfortable. 

 

“Let’s talk about this article right here, boys,” the host said with an evil grin. Hiro immediately knew things were about to go out of hand. “So, if my sources are correct, youboth were attending a charity event, right?”

 

“Right,” Tadashi said calmly. “We were invited so we went.”

 

“And halfway, what happened? Hiro, you got drunk and somehow along the way, you both got into a fight? I mean, you ended up hollering and I quote, ‘I hate you, Goddamnit. Leave me alone, Tadashi!’ which is, ouch, quite a deep thing to say.”

 

Hiro fidgeted under his scrutinising gaze. “Uhm well, I—we weren’t really in a good place back then.” 

 

The host nodded but he didn’t seemed convinced. “What brought this one? I heard you both went on a retreat?”

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said, cutting Hiro off. “We decided that we aren’t going to allow what’s in the way to destroy this thing between us. I mean…it was something that’s important to the both of us.”

 

Hiro nodded, watching the host carefully. “I didn’t mean it,” Hiro said slowly. “I never meant it. I was just—angry at him for something, funny thing, I can’t even remember what.”

 

“It was just a silly argument that got out of hand,” Tadashi said as he glanced at the younger actor with a warm smile. “And when it all ended, we decided, that it had to stop, that if we’re going to work, we need to understand where we stand.”

 

Hiro smiled to himself when he heard the words, that sounded nice to hear. His heart started to pound gently against his chest again, humming quietly. The host laughed a bit as he nodded, taking in everything. “Paparazzi just have a way of making things look bigger than it is, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi agreed with a sheepish grin. Hiro didn’t say anything much during the interview, letting those two do the talking. He couldn’t concentrate anyway, zoning out despite he played the part that he was actually focusing on the interview. 

 

The words that Tadashi carelessly threw at the host had him feeling warm in his heart and for a second, he had to mentally slap himself back to reality. This wasn’t real. He wasn’t really in a relationship with Tadashi, he couldn’t afford to think like this. 

 

But his heart suddenly yearned for it, for it to be known and Hiro quickly squashed it. 

 

Why was he letting himself get dragged into this mess? 

 

Once the interview was over, Hiro was happy to say that he managed to look like he enjoyed this interview even though it was the complete opposite. “You okay?” Tadashi cornered him once Hiro was removed from the microphone. The younger actor just shrugged. 

 

“Why do you keep asking that?” he asked nervously, wondering if Tadashi had noticed if he had been acting a bit different. Was he acting differently? 

 

“You zoned out during the interview,” Tadashi said as he frowned slightly. “Hiro, you can’t zone out like that.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hiro said quickly. He felt the surging panic covering his senses again at how close he was threading the line between them. “I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.”

 

Tadashi placed a hand on his shoulder, surprising him. “You can tell me anything, Hiro. I promised you, didn’t I? I could be someone who listens to you.”

 

“I know,” Hiro said as he gently pried Tadashi’s hand off his shoulder. Tadashi noticed the slight avoidance but he didn’t say anything, Hiro sighed internally in relief. It was best if Tadashi didn’t say anything at all. “Look, I’ll be back to myself soon, okay? Don’t worry. I—gotta go.”

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi started. Hiro just looked at him and gave him a quick smile. 

 

“I’m fine. See you soon,” he said quickly and before Tadashi could stop him, he walked away from there. 

 

He knew that he was being obvious back there. Tadashi was smart. He could easily fit the pieces together and come with a very accurate conclusion. By that time, Hiro couldn’t deny the truth any longer. But for now, until then, he needed some space from Tadashi, so he could wrap all these feelings and hide them away. 

 

Lock them away, deep enough in his heart, so that whenever he looked at Tadashi, he wouldn’t turn red or feel like he wanted to explode from either their close proximity or from the pain of not being able to—to—tell him. 

 

He ran his fingers through his hair, troubled.

 

He had so much on his plate right now, he felt like he was drowning.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, ha ha ha?? This was the most angst chapter I ever wrote for this site, really. I wrote darker and much more heart breaking stories than this but I don't like my readers to cry, so I hide them. :3 But I'm not very kind today, so tada~ Just like I said, I'm not sure if I delivered it well or it sounds like I'm dragging the plot. Ehk! I hope you guys like it and let me know what you guys think! Until next time~! -Krystal


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.
> 
> A/N: Hullo~! Okay, so, I decided to write this chapter out quickly because well, I'm free a bit, that's why and all the songs I've been listening to (I have dubbed them as the 'A Correlation between Stars- OST') aka the angst songs and I'm just....yeah. Anyways, this chapter is a bit of a...tiny plot development thing. I think. Oh wells, I hope you guys will like it~! Do let me know what you guys thought and uhm, until the next chapter? -Krystal
> 
> P.S: Thank you for all the reads, comments, kudos, subscribes and bookmarks!  
> P.S.S: These little snippets of song lyrics I'm adding here? Yeah, that means I've added this song in my so called OST and I've been listening to it a lot...non-stop...while writing this //cough//
> 
>  
> 
> _Take me back to the basics and the simple life, Tell me all the things that make you feel at ease_ \- _Ease (Troye Sivan)_

 

 

His mind was still messed up, his feelings were still complicated and half of the time, he felt like he was about this close to losing it. Without meaning to, he suddenly found himself in a predicament, in pressure and he didn’t know what to do so that he could feel at ease again. 

 

“Hiro? Hiro, are you listening to me?” Gogo questioned, her eyebrows raised. Hiro looked at her properly, realising he had zoned out. He rubbed the back of his neck, giving her a hollow grin. 

 

“Sorry, zoned out,” he said with a laugh that he hoped was convincing enough. Gogo didn’t believe him, he could tell, from the way her eyes narrowed slightly and her lips thinned. 

 

“Are you okay?” she asked finally, putting down her cup of coffee on the table. Hiro sighed as he leaned against his chair, looking away from her to outside of the windows. The cafe’s atmosphere made him feel tired. After the interview yesterday, he just went back home and locked himself in his bedroom. 

 

Aunt Cass tried to coax him out but all he needed was to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, to wonder just for a second what would happen if he never came here. Gogo had managed to drag him out from his bedroom when she called the next morning, asking him to meet her. Hiro reluctantly agreed, when he found out that they would be meeting at a cafe. 

 

Cafes always soothed him, so he decided to give it a shot. 

 

But now that he was here, he was finding himself still in this dilemma and maybe even slight panic. 

 

“Why are we meeting up, Gogo?” Hiro asked finally, not answering her previous question. He glanced at her as she analysed him. “Gogo,” he said, catching her attention once more. “Why am I here?”

 

“What does that supposed to mean?” she asked carefully. “I wanted to see you after your great romantic escape with Tadashi. Is that so wrong?”

 

Tadashi’s name still somewhat hurt to hear. Hiro couldn’t fathom why. It wasn’t like Tadashi had done him anything wrong. It was all Hiro’s fault for ending up in this mess alone. But it still hurt, it still ached. 

 

“No,” he said with a smile. Gogo sat straighter, this time she was focused solely on him. Hiro found that he didn’t like her stare. He didn’t like being under her gaze at the moment. He shifted in his seat uncomfortable when she kept her eyes trained on him even after a few seconds of silence had passed. 

 

“Something happened, didn’t it?” she asked quietly. Hiro’s shoulders tensed and he tried not to flinch. “Hiro?”

 

“Why would you say that?” he asked, his voice sounded defensive even to his own years. Gogo simply raised her eyebrows again in disbelief. He sighed loudly when he realised she was dead set on figuring out what was wrong with him. “Gogo, can we not talk about this? Please?” he asked, his voice coming out like a hush. 

 

He wasn’t ready to let anyone else know about his _foolish_ feelings for the older actor. It was enough to know that he would be pitied, he didn’t want to see those pity looks aimed at him. He never liked them. It made him feel vulnerable, like he was fighting a losing war. 

 

But then again, the irony was, he _was_ fighting a losing war. 

 

He was losing terribly. 

 

“Hiro,” Gogo said softly, catching his attention again. “You can tell me anything, you know that right? I won’t spill any of your secrets to the world.”

 

“I know that,” Hiro said as he ran his fingers through his hair in apprehension. “I know that but I’m just—I _can’t_.”

 

“I,” Gogo started. “I want to help.”

 

“Gogo, I don’t think you can help me with this,” Hiro said with a feeble laugh. “Not _even_ you can help me with this.”

 

Gogo looked at him stubbornly, not backing down, not even when he was clearly shutting himself down at the moment. “I’m all ears,” were her last words before she became quiet. She watched him intently. Hiro fidgeted under her stare, and his heart started to beat loudly against his chest when he realised, that he found himself _wanting_ to tell her.

 

He knew he trusted her with his life. She was one of the very few that managed to just stick in his heart, making him believe that there were still some people out there that cared about him, that wanted him to be happy. But was he ready to let her know about this? 

 

What would she say?

 

The fear gripped his chest when he began to wonder if Gogo would see him differently. 

 

She was important to him. He squeezed his eyes when the panic that was just thrumming through his veins started to seep into his mind. He was starting to breath shallowly and he knew he was at the verge of a panic attack. 

 

“Hey, hey,” Gogo hushed him gently. “Hiro, calm down.” 

 

Hiro snapped open his eyes, his lips were dry and the words were stuck in his throat. Gogo watched him for a minute before she sighed. “Hiro, take a deep breath. Calm down. Whatever it is, I won’t judge. I promise.”

 

“You can’t promise me that,” he croaked out. His voice felt so hoarse, as if he had been grazing his voice box with sandpaper. 

 

“Hiro, _I won’t judge_ ,” she said firmly. Her eyes were sharp and they pierced through his soul with truth. 

 

Relief immediately washed into him when he realised that she was telling the truth. The panic subsided to the back of his mind afterwards, and he could finally breathe properly. He touched his chest and thumped it gently. “You almost had a panic attack,” Gogo said. “Something must be really bothering you, Hiro.”

 

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Yeah, something is.”

 

“I—I won’t pry anymore,” she finally relented. “If it’s something you’re not ready to tell me, I won’t pry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

 

Hiro shook his head, finally to have settled down. “I’m fine, I just—it’s something new and it’s just…”

 

He knew he didn’t make any sense, especially when the interest piqued in Gogo’s eyes. He licked his lips again and his throat once again felt dry. Was he ready to tell her? Could he tell her even? At the end, his mind just shut down on him. It hurt to think anymore. It was frustrating too and all he wanted to do was to be able to breathe again without thinking about anything, about how to deal with these webs of emotions and how to untangle himself from this mess. 

 

“I like Tadashi.”

 

The words rushed out without hesitation once his mind went blank. Gogo’s eyes widened and everything around him slowed down to a halt. He kept his eyes fixed on hers, wondering when she was going to react— _how_ she was going to react. 

 

After what really was milliseconds but felt like hours, Gogo finally blinked. “You like…Tadashi?”

 

“Yeah,” he said nervously, the flutter in his stomach intensified at every passing second afterwards. Gogo opened and closed her mouth but then she went quiet again and took her cup of coffee, drinking it, her eyes never leaving his face. 

 

Hiro watched her silently, collecting data on how she was taking the news. She finished her coffee in one gulp before she placed it on the table again. “Okay, you like Tadashi. What changed?”

 

Hiro blinked at her straightforwardness. “Uhm…what changed?”

 

“Your opinion on him,” she clarified. “I mean, Hiro, you babbled how much you hated him before you left on this vacation thing. Now you come back and you’re telling me you like him? I mean, youguys suddenly decided to be friends?”

 

“Sure,” Hiro said slowly, his nervousness was back. She _didn’t_ get what he meant. He cleared his throat before he shrugged weakly. “I…He…I don’t know what changed, honestly. One second we’re fighting and the next, he told me he cared for me. He told me he never wanted to fight with me, that he wanted to know me and that he was tired of us fighting all the time. I, agreed. I didn’t know I felt the same way until he started with the topic. I…realised I wanted to know him too. I wanted to try to. Be his friend, I mean.”

 

Well, it wasn’t a total lie, he told himself lamely in his head. Gogo nodded slowly as she continued to analyse him. “You like him, then,” she said as if she was talking to herself. “No, that’s not it.”

 

Hiro looked at her. “What?”

 

“There’s something else, isn’t there? Hiro, you won’t end up in almost panic attack if you’re just nervous about being his friend.” Gogo leaned against her chair and crossed her hands. 

 

Hiro finally nodded after a moment of silence. “I like him…more.”

 

“More?” Gogo questioned. He didn’t bother to explain anymore. He could already feel his face heating up and his heart beating louder. It didn’t take long for Gogo to fit the missing pieces together and come with a conclusion. “Hiro,” she said. “Are you telling me you… _love_ him?”

 

“Love is such a strong word,” Hiro said quickly, panicked at the prospect that if one day he still hadn’t moved on from this feeling, it might indeed turn into love. “I…like him.”

 

“Hiro, are you falling for him?” she questioned, her voice hushed and her eyebrows drawn tight. “Hiro?”

 

“Yes,” he said as he closed his eyes. “Yes, okay? I think I am falling for him. I don’t know how or when but it happened while I was on that trip with him. We were friends and the next second we ended up talking about Honey and he told me he loved her and I didn’t like it, okay? I hated the thought that he was in love with Honey.” Hiro opened his eyes again and this time, he stared into her eyes directly. “I didn’t know why I hated the thought of that and…and…I thought about it, thought about it a lot until I realised it. I… _realised_ it. Damnit, and I’m wishing every second after that I didn’t know about it.”

 

Gogo was speechless, he could tell, from the way she had dropped her hands to her sides. But what he didn’t expect was for her to smile, cautiously he could see, but still, it was a smile. His eyes widened and he didn’t know he was waiting for the worse when he felt a second wash of relief painting his insides. 

 

“Why? Why are you smiling?” he asked, confused. 

 

“I…didn’t know you would finally like someone,” she said as she sighed. “I was worried you know, thinking you won’t ever find someone to like.”

 

“Gogo,” Hiro started. “Have you not been listening to me? He’s in love with Honey. He—he wants to be with her after this charade ends.”

 

Gogo nodded as she leaned near the table, placing her elbows on it. “So,” she said. “What are you going to do now?”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows at her easy acceptance. At her easy—whatever it was. “Wait…you’re okay with this?”

 

Gogo raised her own eyebrows. “What? You liking Tadashi? Why would it bother me?”

 

Hiro shrugged helplessly. 

 

“Hiro, I don’t care who you like. It doesn’t bother me, okay? If that was what you were thinking about when you had the panic attack, then you seriously do not know me at all,” Gogo said with a little frown. 

 

Without realising it, he ended up smiling, wide and bright. Her acceptance, despite it didn't change the fact that he was still unsure of what to do with these feelings, made him feel better. It made him feel like that maybe, he could do this after all. Maybe, he could find a way and push past this. 

 

“Thanks, Gogo,” he said sincerely. Her eyes shone at the gratitude as she chuckled and shook her head. 

 

“You’re welcome, brat,” she said with a quirk of her lips. “Now, back to the question, what are you going to do with those feelings?”

 

“Wrap them up and forget them,” Hiro said without hesitation. Gogo didn’t object to the idea but she frowned nevertheless. 

 

“Just like that?”

 

“I can’t go up to him and tell him how I feel, Gogo,” Hiro said. “It doesn’t change the fact he loves Honey.”

 

“I know,” Gogo said, sighing. “So, you’re going to kill those emotions?”

 

“I have to,” Hiro said. “If I want to move on, I have to.”

 

This time, Gogo didn’t say anything. She just looked down to her cup while Hiro looked away to the windows. His heart gave a sad throb. 

 

***

 

He couldn’t avoid Tadashi even if he wanted to. If he did, it would look suspicious and it was even harder to actually keep a lid on his feelings when he had to act like he was in a relationship with that man in public. He looked at himself in the mirror, just tracing the shirt he wore. 

 

Hiro had to meet Tadashi in an hour at a nearby diner. Their agents wanted to discuss about something. He honestly thought that his life would slow down a bit after this, but he was wrong. Not when he had more interviews, more events to attend to. He could already feel himself getting tired. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed his car keys from the drawers of his dresser. He dangled the keys between his fingers, musing how long it had been since he last drove. Ever since this relationship thing started, he wasn’t allowed to drive. 

 

Either Tadashi drove or—well, that was basically it. It was to show that they met outside of events and interviews, committing to themselves with each other. But now that he had the chance to drive on his own, he wasn’t going to waste it. He walked out of his room and jogged down the stairs. 

 

“Aunt Cass! I’m leaving!” he hollered out, hoping she heard him. With that, he walked out of his house and headed to the car porch. He didn’t own many cars, instead he settled to just owning two, one for his aunt and for himself. 

 

He smiled to himself when he found the familiar grey car, covered by a green plastic cover. He pulled it off his car and caressed the hood before he decided to get in. Once he was inside, he searched for his sunglasses and wore them. 

 

“Missed you, I really did,” he muttered as he hugged the steering wheel. After a few seconds of reminiscing, he turned the engine on and drove. 

 

Besides the slight traffic, he was feeling light and giddy when he realised how relaxing driving could be. He missed the sound of the engine when it was started and he missed how smooth it drove even when he was accelerating. 

 

Once he found an empty spot, he parked his car and got out, pushing his sunglasses over his head. Locking his car, he walked into the diner. He immediately spotted Henry and Gordon, talking animatedly about something at one of the booths. 

 

“Hey,” he greeted when he reached the booth, sitting in front of the two agents with a smile. 

 

Gordon grinned at him. “You came,” he said, as if he was expecting Hiro to bail.

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows. “You know, I’m not always incompetent.”

 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Gordon assured him. Hiro nodded nevertheless even though he didn’t believe him.

 

“So, why are we meeting up?” Hiro asked once he settled into his seat properly. Henry smiled brightly at him and for a second, Hiro wondered if he was high. 

 

“We’ll tell you once Tadashi gets here,” Gordon said. 

 

Right, Hiro completely forgot that Tadashi was supposed to be here as well. His heart gave a loud thump at just the name of the actor. He frowned gently to himself. Before he could reply, the said person had already arrived, standing at their booth with a sheepish smile.

 

“Sorry, traffic,” Tadashi apologised before he sat next to Hiro. “Hey.”

 

Hiro glanced at the older actor when he realised that Tadashi had greeted him. Nervously, he greeted him back with a smile. Tadashi looked back at the agents once he was satisfied with the smile. Hiro felt himself going tense when his shoulders brushed against Tadashi’s, realising that they were close. 

 

He scooted himself to the window, hoping that it would set some distance between them. But that idea was no use when he couldn’t push himself anywhere closer to the window when he was already plastered to it. Yet, his shoulders still brushed against Tadashi’s once in a while. 

 

His stomach fluttered in retaliation and his heart started to beat fast. “So, why are we here?” Tadashi asked, causing Hiro to tense again. God, Tadashi was so close to him. 

 

“Well,” Henry started as he took out what seemed like a folder. He placed it in front of them, once again showering them with that brilliant smile of his. Now, Hiro was feeling nervous and curious at the same time. He licked his lips as he looked at the folder. 

 

“What’s in it?” he asked cautiously, eyeing his agent afterwards. “Please don’t tell me it’s another long vacation. I really miss this city.”

 

Tadashi’s chuckle was so unexpected that he had flinched at the sound. For a moment, he thought his heart had gone deadly still. The chuckle was bright, amused and it coloured his insides with something light. Something nice. It was—nice.

 

“Not really,” Gordon said as he looked at Hiro pointedly. “Though, it depends on what you mean. Here, just take a look.”

 

Hiro didn’t have to be told twice as he took the folder and flipped through. His eyes widened when he realised what it was. “It’s a movie deal?” he asked, looking at the two agents in front of them. 

 

“Yeah,” Henry said. He was clearly happy if that grin was anything to go by. Hiro dragged his eyes back down on the paper and read through. At each word, his heart gave a throb, whether it was from the excitement or from the disappointment, he didn't know. 

 

“But…,” Hiro said slowly. “They only want one of us.”

 

“Ah, yeah,” Gordon said with a sympathetic smile. “I’m afraid that’s one downside to that deal. One of you will have the lead part. They didn’t know who to choose and told us to send both of you for the audition. But whoever it is, both of you are a perfect fit for the main hero.”

 

Hiro placed the folder on the table before Tadashi took the folder next. “This is in another three months,” Tadashi mused. 

 

Just then, he noticed how his agent was shifting uncomfortably. Right there and then, Hiro knew that there was something more than just this deal. “What? Why are you looking like that?”

 

Henry glanced at Gordon before he looked at Hiro. “Well, the thing is,” Henry started. “James and Jack decided that by the time you both will be auditioning for the role, this charade will meet its end.”

 

Hiro took a few minutes to process that. The words didn’t sink properly but when it did, his mind blanked and his eyes widened. “Wait, you mean?”

 

“Yeah,” Gordon said with a shrug. “You guys can ‘break-up’ a week before this audition,” Gordon said. “It’s been decided.”

 

Hiro let the news wash over him, not really reacting. They could break up after this? He stared at the table, his heart giving a thump and his mind racing with thoughts. His emotions were suddenly in a mess again, ranging from relieved to—disappointed. 

 

“Great,” Hiro finally said with a smile that looked a little strained at the edges. Gordon however didn’t notice it, just smiled satisfied. 

 

“That’s all really,” Henry concluded. “Just wanted to share this big news.”

 

“Definitely a big news,” Tadashi agreed. Henry then stood up, decided to take his leave. 

 

“Well, I’ll see you boys later.” He smiled one last time before he walked away.

 

Gordon followed Henry and left the cafe, leaving Hiro in his thoughts. Tadashi was still sitting next to him, looking through the folder and humming to himself. Hiro glanced at him and realised—Tadashi was actually happy with the news. 

 

He was supposed to be happy with the news too. It was all make believe and one way or other, it was going to end anyway. He knew that this was going to happen, so why was he feeling slightly disappointed? 

 

“I’m gonna go,” Hiro said, hoping Tadashi would move. The older actor looked at Hiro and raised his eyebrows. 

 

“Now?” he asked. 

 

“Uh, yeah?” Hiro said. “I mean, we’re done here, so—”

 

“Hang out with me for a while,” Tadashi said, cutting him off with a smile. Hiro blinked at the request. 

 

“Uhm, Tadashi, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I’m busy and,” Hiro said, trying to come up with the next excuse as his mind deliberately started chanting ‘Liar, what a liar you are!’ in his head. Tadashi sighed as he tapped his fingers against the folder. 

 

“I know you said you need time, and really, I don’t mind giving you space,” Tadashi said but Hiro knew that that wasn’t the end of his sentence. “It’s just, how are we supposed to be friends if we never hang out? If we never get to know each other?”

 

“I know plenty about you,” Hiro blurted out. His cheeks immediately reddened as he slapped himself in his mind. What the hell was that? He cleared his throat when Tadashi grinned, a bright dazzling grin that had his heart singing.

 

He cringed at how sappy that sounded and how mushy he felt. 

 

“Sure, the things that I hate so you can get back at me,” Tadashi said, amused. “Just like how I know you hate cats, precisely big fluffy ones because somehow, cats dislike you too.”

 

Hiro immediately scowled, scrunching his nose at the statement. “That might be true,” he mumbled. Tadashi chuckled again and the young actor couldn’t help but to feel light once more inside. He looked at the table, carefully memorising the pattern. He couldn’t look into those brown eyes without getting overwhelmed with his feelings. 

 

“Hang out with me?” Tadashi asked again. The younger actor really didn’t want to hang out with the man he had feelings for. It wasn’t going to end well. By the end of the day, he was sure he was going to go home heartbroken. 

 

His heart beat slowed down and his mind scattered at all the reasons, all the excuses he could use to reject Tadashi. When he found one that was believable enough to fool anyone, he looked at the older actor. But immediately, his eyes locked with the brown ones and everything else around him slowed down. Oh, he forgot how close they were. 

 

His heart beat picked up speed again and his face dyed red. His neck felt hot and his entire body froze. The hope in Tadashi’s eyes were bright, were true, something that was never aimed at him before. It was filled with so much—happiness, joy—that Hiro found himself suffocating in the feeling. 

 

“Okay,” he said absent-mindedly, somehow he had forgotten the reason to why this was a bad idea. Tadashi’s brown eyes went a shade lighter if that was possible. Hiro’s heart constricted at the thought that he had done that. 

 

“Right, where should we go?” Tadashi asked as he scooted out from the booth, standing up. Hiro was still frozen in his seat, left staring at the space where Tadashi was. It took him a few seconds for his brain to reboot and by the time he caught himself from the staring, Tadashi had his eyebrows raised. 

 

Hiro scooted out and stood up too, clearing his throat. “I don’t know. I uh—I drove here, by the way, so one of us should leave the car here.”

 

“I didn’t drive,” Tadashi said with a shrug as they began walking out of the diner. “I thought public transportation would do the trick.”

 

Hiro glanced at the older actor, pausing in his walk for a second when he realised what Tadashi had said. “You’re joking,” Hiro said as he shook his head. “How was it even possible for you ride a public transportation and not get recognised?”

 

“It’s a miracle what a cap and a pair of sunglasses can do,” Tadashi said with humour as he took out his cap from his back pocket and wore it over his head. He wore the sunglasses as they arrived at Hiro’s car. 

 

“Huh, I gotta say, that works,” Hiro agreed when he realised that indeed, Tadashi was hard to recognise with that simple disguise unless someone was right up at his face. The younger actor got in the car, Tadashi following quickly before they were settled in. For a moment, Hiro wondered just what the hell he was doing. 

 

He should push Tadashi away, far from his reach, just until he could breathe properly whenever the man was in the same space as he was. But no, he agreed to hang out with him just because of his eyes. 

 

Hiro began to quickly realise that he was hopeless whenever it came to Tadashi.

 

Just utterly hopeless.

 

“You excited?” Tadashi asked, breaking the silence as Hiro began to drive. The younger actor glanced to the passenger seat and furrowed his eyebrows before looking back to the road ahead of him. 

 

“Excited about what?”

 

“The end of this thing,” Tadashi clarified. “We don’t have to pretend anymore after this.”

 

“Oh,” Hiro said, disappointment coloured his mind. He couldn’t figure out why though. He should be relived. He should be happy that he didn’t have to pretend anymore, that he didn’t have to force himself to be in close proximity with Tadashi. 

 

But—but there was some part of him, even if it was a small fraction of him, that actually believed that if they kept this facade, maybe, somewhere down the road, Tadashi would feel it too. Maybe he would end up feeling what Hiro was feeling at the moment. 

 

Those were just wishful thinking however, Hiro reminded himself. Tadashi was in love with Honey, he wanted to be with her. She had him from the start. The bitter feeling crawled back into his heart. 

 

He hated this. 

 

“Yeah, yeah, great,” Hiro said with a feeble smile. “I mean, I can go back to being single.”

 

“I know how you value your bachelor life,” Tadashi said. Hiro simply shrugged. 

 

“Hey, I like being unattached and uncommitted.” Hiro sounded like a douche to be honest once he realised what he said. “Unless I meet the one, you know? Then sure. But uh, yeah, you get it,” he quickly added.

 

“I guess,” Tadashi said in an amused voice. “You’re still young though. So, just enjoy yourself.”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said slowly. “And you can finally be with Honey.”

 

They were said so quietly, he didn’t think Tadashi heard them, but at the end, Hiro was proven wrong. Tadashi did hear him. “Ah, I don’t think so,” Tadashi said, causing Hiro to tense up. Then the words registered in his head and he glanced at the older actor for a second, confused. 

 

“Why not?” Hiro asked, probably digging a deeper hole for himself to lie in later on. 

 

“I mean, wouldn’t it look fishy that just as we ended our so called relationship, I went and had a new one with Honey? It would seem like what we had didn’t mean anything to me,” Tadashi said. Hiro pondered that a bit to only come to a conclusion that yes, Tadashi was right. 

 

The media can be vicious, spinning the truth until it fit their story. Hiro was personally subjected to the vicious things the media had to say about him one time. His life was shifted from its axis that day and it was all because he had gotten into a fight in a club. 

 

It wasn’t that he provoked the fight. Heck, he was the one who got punched but the media made it sound like he was the one who provoked the opposite party. Making him sound like he was a heartless bastard, who had too much time and money in his hands. 

 

“It didn’t mean anything though, us, that is,” Hiro said, realising it sounded bitter in his mouth. 

 

“Sure, but people in general don’t know that,” Tadashi said as he sighed. “I really want to be with her, I do. But probably after a few months.”

 

Hiro flinched at that, knowing that in the future, Tadashi was still going to end up with Honey. Hiro frowned gently as he continued to stare ahead. His heart thud painfully and his feelings started to become a mess of jealousy and anger. Disappointment and unhappiness. 

 

“Where are we going?” Hiro changed the subject swiftly after a few minutes of silence. 

 

Tadashi hummed out as a response. When Hiro still didn’t get a response, he glanced at Tadashi. “Tadashi, I can’t just drive aimlessly you know.”

 

Tadashi grinned at that. “It’s just nice to have someone else drive for once.”

 

“I’m running on fuel, which you’ll be paying for later by the way,” Hiro said as he rolled his eyes. 

 

“You hungry? I know this area, we can grab something to eat.”

 

Hiro’s stomach made a flip at the prospect at eating lunch alone with Tadashi. His nervousness came back tenfold. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, trying to breathe properly and willing himself to act normal. 

 

“Sure,” Hiro said with a shrug. He hoped he sounded casual. 

 

***

 

“Hey,” Cass greeted him as he entered the house. “You were out for a while.”

 

“Sorry, had to meet with Gordon and Henry and then Tadashi dragged me to eat lunch with him and I had to drop him off and just, I’m tired,” he finished lamely as he gave her a smile that clearly showed that he was indeed tired. 

 

Cass looked at her wrist watch before she looked at her nephew. “It’s almost dinner time. You spent your entire ‘lunch’ date with him?”

 

Hiro’s heart gave a stuttered thump at the word ‘date’. Face red, he said, “No! Not a date. I mean, we just had lunch together. You know, great for the public image and whatever.”

 

Cass simply raised her eyebrows in a manner that she didn’t believe him. “I’m serious, Aunt Cass. There was no date whatsoever.”

 

“Huh,” was all Cass’s reply. After a second, she added, “Well, what did your agents wanted to meet you about?”

 

“A movie deal,” Hiro said as he walked to the living room, slumping on his sofa with a sigh. Cass followed him and leaned against the living room archway. 

 

“A movie deal?” she asked, her eyes glimmering. “That’s great news!”

 

“Yeah, well, they only want one of us,” Hiro added. “It’s me against Tadashi.”

 

“Oh,” Cass said finally, frowning a bit. “Well, that is certainly a bit not good.”

 

Hiro chuckled before he nodded. “Yeah. But the great news is, we won’t be dating at that time.”

 

Cass’s eyes widened at the news. “Really now?” she asked, crossing her arms. “How do you feel about that?”

 

Hiro’s smile dimmed before he gave a feeble shrug, staring at the coffee table. “I’m supposed to be relieved, aren’t I? I’m supposed to be happy that I don’t have to pretend anymore.” He licked his lips when the words once again got stuck in his throat. “But…I’m not.”

 

“Hiro,” Cass said gently. 

 

“I mean, when I was with him just now, I felt happy, Aunt Cass. For a second, I felt like I’m not…lonely anymore. But then the reality settled in, and I realised there’s nothing between us. There’s nothing, absolutely nothing I should look forward to. And…I got upset.” Hiro laughed dryly as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

 

“Hiro, life doesn't always go the way we want it to,” she advised.

 

“Don’t I know that, of all people?” Hiro asked as he glanced at his aunt. Silence filled in the scene and his mind drifted back to what he was trying to do with himself. “Sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m doing.”

 

“This is really hurting you, isn’t it?” she asked quietly. “I thought maybe after you locked yourself in your room, you would be able to breathe and relax, but you’re back to square one.”

 

“He told me he wanted her very much,” Hiro said quietly. “He wanted to date her, Aunt Cass. He said he would wait for a few months after our charade ended but he’s going after her. He’s going to be with her. I don’t know how I should react whenever he tells me that.”

 

Cass didn’t say anything but Hiro knew she was listening to him. At the moment, that was all he needed. Hiro needed her to listen. He didn’t want to hear anything, just listen to him rant. “Why is it I always do this to myself?”

 

“Hiro,” Cass started gently. “You’ll be fine.”

 

Hiro looked at her properly in the eyes and saw the truth and only the truth in there. “Yeah?”

 

Cass smiled, brightly and confidently. “Yeah.”

 

“Well, I hope I’ll be fine quicker.”

 

“Honey,” Cass said softly. “You’ll be fine before you know it.”

 

Hiro felt a bit better with her here.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine!
> 
> A/N: Yay, a new chapter! //drowned// Anyways, sorry for the absolute late update again, my dear, lovely, sweet, readers. I'm actually in the middle of my exam--so uh, yeah. Well, look at me being a bad student. Heh. But I enjoyed writing this chapter very much because it seemed, finally, there's some plot development. Not gonna spoil it for ya but hope you guys will like this too! Thank you for all the kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscriptions and reads! Until next time~! -Krystal
> 
> P.S: And hey! I'm back active on Tumblr again! Yayyyy--yeah, not really, but I wanted to catch up on what happened on Tumblr, so I'm kinda on again? Probably. Don't forget to follow me to see my other pairings and if you wanna chat or--send me prompts or--or--ask questions--or just--idk man, what do you guys do in Tumblr? //shot// Ehehe, see ya~! 
> 
> _Baby you don’t have to rush, you can leave a toothbrush at my place — Toothbrush (DNCE)_

 

These feelings occasionally act up once in a while, especially at night, when he would be lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Everything about Tadashi, everything that he thought he hated about him suddenly became the most endearing thing he had ever seen. 

 

It didn’t take long for Hiro to know that he was falling way too fast. He was going to fall so hard that it was going to hurt horribly. Nobody was waiting for him on the ground. Nobody was going to catch him and yet, he was still letting himself believe that one day, that would change. 

 

Sometimes, he would forget about these feelings and everything would feel normal. But then Tadashi would do something to remind him why he was possibly-in-love with him and everything normal would become different. His world didn’t seem to make sense anymore. 

 

It was like he was missing a part of himself and he finally found it, only for it to be unattainable because Tadashi was never going to give it. He was drowning sometimes in this fame, in this mess he called life, in these emotions of his that never made him feel at ease and every time, he wanted to go back to where he came from, to a place where everything made sense once. 

 

The people around him didn’t take a chance to know him, just assuming they knew everything about him just because they attended his fan meetings or read about him from a book. But his true self was still inside of him and Tadashi was ever the only one who came close to reaching the real him. 

 

Hiro just wished that he could breathe without having to worry about anything anymore. 

 

But there was no such luck in his life. 

 

A flash went off before he could even realise it. He glanced up and noticed some people staring at him as he entered the restaurant. Their phones were out and people began whispering, talking about him like he wasn’t there. 

 

For a minute, he wanted nothing more but to walk up to them and tell them to shut up. The frustration started to peak when a few of them approached him, asking for a picture, asking for an autograph, asking for anything and everything all at once. 

 

Hiro simply smiled back, gave them the stupid pictures and signed off his signature, hoping they would leave him alone. He just wanted to buy something to eat and leave. But even after twenty minutes and the crowd didn’t relent, he was beginning to feel weary. 

 

He was beginning to lose any sense of patience. His smile started to become plastic, sharped at the edges and his eyes no longer held the shine. He felt like he had lost a part of himself that he couldn’t retrieve every time he had to wear this facade in public. 

 

Just as he was about to finally snap, a hand landed on his shoulder, warm and comforting. “Please, he’s all exhausted right now,” Tadashi said, his voice coming out soft and gentle to everyone surrounding them. “Maybe let him buy something to eat?”

 

The crowd looked disappointed but they relented and slowly started to leave. They did ask for Tadashi for an autograph or two and then, they finally left them alone. The hand on his shoulder tightened, shocking Hiro from his trance at Tadashi’s sudden appearance. 

 

“Tadashi?” Hiro asked, his voice got stuck in his throat when Tadashi looked at him and grinned widely, showing off his pearly whites. The hand on his shoulder dropped and Hiro felt the sudden wash of disappointment at the lack of warmth. 

 

His cheeks blazed at the thought as he took a step back. He dropped his gaze to the floor. His heart started to beat against his chest at their close proximity. “Hey,” Tadashi said. “What coincidence, huh?” he joked, his voice coming out light. 

 

“Y—yeah,” Hiro said as he sighed gently, rubbing the back of his neck. Tadashi appeared when he needed someone the most. Like a knight in a shining armour, his mind supplied unhelpfully. Hiro’s cheek reddened even more. His hands started to feel clammy and his mind whirled at the thought that Tadashi was here, with him. 

 

“I was just walking by and saw you here, surrounded by all your adoring fans,” Tadashi explained after a second of silence. “You looked like you needed the help.”

 

“Yeah, I kinda needed someone to push them away,” Hiro said with a smile before finally looking at Tadashi. The older acted nodded but the gentle smile dimmed when his brown eyes seemed to narrow just slightly. Hiro looked away from the man, looking down on the ground and feeling his heart thumping loudly against his chest. 

 

“Are you…alright?” Tadashi asked gently. Hiro mentally flinched at how easy for Tadashi to ask him this, as if all of this was real, as if he really honestly cared about him. Just as soon as the thought entered his mind, half of him berated him for even thinking about Tadashi like that. 

 

The older actor had pressed on several occasion that he cared about Hiro. The reason behind it was never really clear but he cared for Hiro and the younger actor wanted to believe him. He desperately wanted to believe Tadashi that yeah, this was all real. 

 

But his heart wouldn’t let him and he was scared of letting go even more, just scared that at the end, he was lying on the cold hard ground, staring at nothing but who they used to be. “Fine,” Hiro said quickly, licking his lips. “I’m fine.”

 

Tadashi remained silent for a minute before he placed a hand on Hiro’s shoulder again. The younger actor closed his eyes momentarily, the warmth that he could feel even under all these layers of clothes made him hard to breathe. “I’m here, you know,” Tadashi said softly, as if he wasn’t tired of reminding Hiro of the possibilities—of everything that they couldn’t be. 

 

“Yeah, I know,” Hiro said, his voice cracked somewhere in between. He sighed loudly, rubbing his face and taking a step back from Tadashi, the hand dropping from his shoulder. He was growing tired, restless and soon, he was going to break down from all the pressure. 

 

“Hiro—”

 

“I’m hungry,” Hiro cut him off as he gave the older man a weak smile. He knew he looked vulnerable, like he was going to just snap. Tadashi looked worried, his eyebrows scrunched deep and for a second, Hiro wished he could just tell Tadashi the truth—that the reason he was beating himself over was because of _him_. 

 

He felt fear gripping his heart tightly at just the thought of what Tadashi’s reaction might be. No, Hiro wasn’t going to risk anything, not their fragile friendship for what he wanted. Tadashi was in love with Honey, Hiro reminded himself mentally as he turned his back towards Tadashi. 

 

“Okay,” Tadashi said quietly. “Uhm, let’s eat.”

 

“You’re joining?” Hiro asked, slightly taken aback at the self-invitation. Tadashi raised his eyebrows before he gave a smile of his own, shaky and unsure. Hiro had to take his time to realise that Tadashi looked—insecure. Hiro felt guilty that he was making the older actor uncomfortable as well. He wished he could say anything that could make Tadashi feel better, but he was halfway done with everything and he was in no mood to entertain anyone else with fake smiles and plastic encouragements. 

 

“Of course,” Tadashi said as he moved past Hiro and took a seat near the windows. 

 

Hiro stood for a second, staring at what Tadashi was doing. “You don’t have to join, you know,” Hiro said slowly as he walked to where Tadashi was and occupied one of the empty seats. “I can eat by myself.”

 

“Nah,” Tadashi said. “I know you hate being alone.”

 

Hiro froze in his seat as his eyes widened. He glanced at Tadashi, the nervousness running wild in him. “What—what do you—”

 

“I,” Tadashi started before he sighed. “I was…just joking.” It didn’t sound like a joke, Hiro noted in his mind as he looked at the older actor and frowned. 

 

“That was a horrible joke,” he said, his voice sounded a bit hysterical even to his own ears. Tadashi chuckled, avoiding eye contact as he picked on the tablecloth. 

 

“I suck at jokes in general,” Tadashi said, his voice light but there was something else in his voice that made the atmosphere tenser. Hiro nodded stiffly before the waitress came to their table, handing them the menus. 

 

“You don’t look particularly hungry,” Hiro asked finally when Tadashi had just ordered himself a bowl of mushroom soup and a plate of garlic bread. 

 

“I…actually had my lunch already,” Tadashi said as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows, confusion colouring his thoughts. “Then…why are you here?”

 

“No real reason,” Tadashi said as his smile tightened. “I just wanted to hang out with you. Is that so bad?”

 

Hiro detected the defensive tone in his voice. The younger actor felt that if he kept pushing Tadashi, they were going to end up in an argument. He couldn’t help but to chuckle bitterly to himself. Tadashi frowned at his reaction. “Why are you laughing?”

 

“I just find this amusing,” Hiro said before he gave a broken smile. “I mean…we say we’re friends and…yet we’re always at the verge of an argument whenever we don’t know what to talk about.”

 

Tadashi’s face lost all of its defensiveness and he looked guilty. “Well, guess that’s our default setting when things get awkward.”

 

That was funny, Hiro had to admit as he chuckled, this time without the bitterness. Tadashi’s eyes lightened and just like that, the almost non-existent argument passed them without so much grazing them. “Besides,” Tadashi continued after a second. “Gotta keep up the facade of us being together.”

 

Hiro’s slight joy shattered at that. Right, he reminded himself, already chiding his inner self for the foolish thoughts. It would look suspicious if Tadashi decided to just leave after helping Hiro. The younger actor forced himself to react with a smile that would look dazzling in front of the cameras. He felt sick inside, used and what else—he felt like he had fallen into this stupid trap again. 

 

Tadashi didn’t look remorseful for what he was doing to Hiro. One second, he could make Hiro feel like he meant the world to him and the next, he could make him feel so worthless. He sighed as he looked at the meal that was being served in front of him, realising he didn’t feel hungry anymore. 

 

Right, just what was he expecting from this?

 

***

 

Cass frowned when Hiro simply sighed for the umpteenth time. When Hiro sighed again, she slammed her fork down and glared at her nephew. The younger actor jolted from the loud slam and stared at his aunt, confused. “What?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. 

 

“You have been sighing ever since you got home,” Cass said as her eyes softened. “I can’t take it anymore!”

 

Hiro’s eyes widened and embarrassment coloured his face. “Sorry,” he apologised as he shrugged helplessly, staring at dinner in front of him. He realised he was just playing around with his food, pushing the peas on the plate with his fork. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

 

“Let me guess,” Cass started. “Tadashi.”

 

The name once again made him feel so many things at once that he couldn’t help but want to sigh. “Yeah,” he said. “But that’s not all.”

 

Hiro glanced at his aunt, who raised her eyebrows at him. After a second, he leaned into his chair and said, “I think…it’s time to go back home.”

 

Cass looked at him for a minute before her eyes widened. “Hiro—you mean—”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro nodded. “I think…it’s time.”

 

Cass didn’t say anything, letting the silence to wash between them before she frowned. “But what about your career? Last time when we talked about this, you told me you weren’t ready. What made you want to go back now?”

 

Hiro kept quiet as he looked back to his dinner, playing with his food again, mulling on his thoughts. “I just want to leave,” Hiro finally said, concluding his thoughts shortly. “I think I had enough of cameras, people staring at me and asking me things, everyone asking me to be someone I’m not. I think it’s time I took back control of my own life.”

 

“But your contract—”

 

“Ends a week after this supposedly break up with Tadashi,” Hiro said with a bitter smile. “I checked it with Gordon. I gave a lot of thought into this, you know. I know it seems like I’m running away from Tadashi but—I’m not. Today, I couldn’t even stand people recognising me at a restaurant. I feel…angry at them, angry at myself and I know I sound like an ungrateful brat but—I don’t want this anymore.”

 

When he looked back at his aunt, he was expecting anger, disappointment and disparagement, for throwing away everything he achieved just because he didn’t want it anymore. But what he saw on her face instead was nothing but support and love. She smiled slowly and proudly, “Just follow your heart. If you want to go back home then, let’s go home.”

 

Hiro had never felt so relieved than he did now. It still shook him from inside just thinking about going back home, going back to the city he had abandoned. But he knew it was time, time to leave everything behind that was never his in the first place and find a new place where he could fit in as—himself. 

 

And if he must, maybe even move on from this heartache. Big screen never fitted him and now that he was sure he could live on without feeling like half of his soul was caving back in every time he thought about home, he was finally ready to leave all of this behind. 

 

He smiled at his aunt, thanking her in his mind and went back to his dinner, feeling hungrier than before. 

 

***

 

The days flew by without a care. Hiro was losing touch of reality as more days passed by and Tadashi was beginning to irritate him more than he could think of. He liked the man, he really did, but sometimes he didn’t know if Tadashi was doing some of the things because he was forced to, forced to keep the facade that they were together up or because he was genuinely interested in spending time with Hiro. 

 

Sometimes they would be talking about something, maybe drinking coffee in a shop or meeting up in the park by accident and then later, he would end up saying, ‘Keeping up the act’, like it was what Hiro wanted to hear. It hurt him to think that Tadashi was maybe just looking at their outings as another act, another fake, another—falsified event for the public eye. 

 

He liked spending time with Tadashi but the more days flew between them and the more disparaging comment such as those were dropped carelessly in their conversations, the more Hiro wanted to just get up and leave and call this bluff off. 

 

Hiro didn’t knew he was about to snap. But it all came to a head when Honey finally showed her face, taking them both off guard. 

 

They were in a gala, another event organised just for the purpose of charity and Hiro was honoured to have been invited. Tadashi was obviously his plus one and it wasn’t that the night had started terribly, it was just that Hiro had too much on his mind and with Tadashi taking everything with an easy drawl, it all just made him feel irked. 

 

“You’re cherry,” Hiro said as he sipped on his champagne, taking care not to drink too much. Tadashi stopped humming under his breath before glancing at Hiro, grinning widely. 

 

“I’m just happy,” he said before he took a sip of his own champagne. Hiro raised his eyebrows. 

 

“And why’s that?”

 

Tadashi simply turned to look at him before he chuckled, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing. “Because I have you next to me.”

 

The words got stuck in Hiro’s mind like glue for a second as his cheeks reddened and his heart started to beat fast. He gripped on his champagne glass tighter and rolled his eyes, trying to feign irritation even though he felt warm inside. 

 

Was Tadashi drunk?

 

“Glad I can make someone happy,” Hiro said as Tadashi chuckled again, clearly happy as he dropped his hand from his shoulder. 

 

“Of course I am,” Tadashi said with a light tone. “What type of boyfriend would I be if I wasn’t happy to be with you?”

 

Hiro’s heart stuttered to a stop and once again, that uneasy feeling washed in him again. He frowned as he looked at his champagne glass, staring intently at the liquid inside. There it was again, that same mock, that same answer as if every time they spent together, it had to mean they were acting. 

 

He thought they were friends at least. 

 

He cleared his throat before he shrugged. “Sure, whatever,” he said under his breath. 

 

“You’re pouting,” Tadashi said, catching Hiro off guard. The younger actor schooled his face before looking at Tadashi, not letting how those bright brown eyes made him truly feel inside show. 

 

“I’m not,” Hiro said, a bit bitter. “I’m just—acting, you know, boyfriend.”

 

Tadashi’s eyebrows rose but he simply gave out a crooked grin, even if it was slightly sharper at the edges. “You look really uncomfortable saying that word.”

 

Hiro sniffed as he shrugged. “Boyfriend, you try saying that and see how that feels in your mouth,” Hiro said, unnecessarily defensive. Tadashi simply shrugged. 

 

“It doesn’t sound too bad,” he said. “Boyfriend. Yeah, probably a bit weird, I admit.”

 

Hiro gulped dryly as he kept his gaze back on the fizzy champagne in his glass, absent-mindedly counting how many bubbles he could see. “Yeah,” Hiro answered dully. He didn’t know why he was doing this to himself. Every time he thought he knew the answer, he found out that really—he didn’t.

 

Silence washed in between them and Hiro made no move to strike a new conversation either. He just felt like getting out of here, just to breathe again. Just then, Hiro heard someone moving closer to them before standing in front of the two actors. 

 

The younger actor glanced up and was taken aback when he realised who it was. “Hey,” she said with a bright smile, teeth sparkling and eyes shining. The younger actor’s heart started to beat fast in his chest, only this time with uneasiness. It was Honey Lemon and she was standing in front of them, her warm eyes darting from Hiro to Tadashi before she settled her gaze on the taller man.

 

“Honey,” Tadashi greeted her, his voice seemed to have gone ten shades lighter. Hiro frowned, feeling the same acidic feeling crawling up his throat every time Honey was involved. “You made it!” he said happily. Hiro glanced at him to realise that he was beaming, his cheeks flushed and eyes bright. 

 

Hiro looked at Honey to notice she had the same look on her face, like just looking at Tadashi lighted up her whole world. For a moment, Hiro realised that was how he felt whenever he was with Tadashi. The only difference between them was that she was able to obtain Tadashi as her own, meanwhile Hiro couldn’t. 

 

Hiro looked away, once again gripping his champagne glass tighter than necessary as he counted to ten in his head. He shouldn’t let his childish feelings get in the way of this night. He really didn’t want another tabloid news printed out for the world to see. He had enough of cameras and microphones shoved to his face. 

 

“Of course, I did!” Honey said, her conversation solely for Tadashi. Hiro looked to the ground, wondering if he should take his leave. “I’m just a bit late, that’s all. Photoshoot, you know how it is.”

 

“Absolutely,” Tadashi said. “It’s a bit troublesome.”

 

“So, how are you guys after the whole honeymoon getaway thing?” Honey asked and it took Hiro a few minutes to realise that she was talking to him as well. Hiro took a huge gulp of the champagne before looking at her and giving her a smile. 

 

“Fine,” Hiro said shortly. 

 

“Fine?” she asked sceptically, raising her eyebrows before she glanced at Tadashi. The older actor simply gave her a sheepish grin before rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

“The paparazzi have a way of stretching things far from the truth,” Tadashi quickly said as she raised her eyebrows even higher, in what seemed like disbelief. Hiro felt pride surging through him at her baffled expression. But then the emotion turned into pity because look, he was acting like some jealous brat.

 

He sighed before he shrugged at her, not even trying to sell the story anymore. “We were always fine. I just had too much to drink. And speaking of that, I should probably stop. Lightweight,” Hiro explained as he finished his glass of champagne and gave Honey a charming, plastic grin. The model’s face relaxed as she smiled before she glanced back at Tadashi again, seeking confirmation. 

 

It ticked Hiro how she seemed so unsure of them being together, like Hiro was not his type. But then again—Hiro _wasn’t_ Tadashi’s type in the first place. “It was nice meeting you again, Honey. I’m just going to take a breather. Stuffy inside.”

 

Honey didn’t even have time to say anything and with a slight nod, Hiro was off, leaving the two of them behind. He navigated out of the hall to the backyard garden of the mansion where the charity event was taking place. It was a nice backyard, large space, greens covering the land as far as he could see with a water fountain in the middle of the yard like some scene in a fairytale. 

 

It was magical, Hiro noted as he walked to the water fountain and sat at the edge of the white stone, looking up at the sky. The grip around his heart loosened after a minute of thinking about nothing. Just then, someone walked to the backyard as well, catching Hiro’s attention. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Tadashi asked, his smile was cautious.

 

“Taking a breather,” Hiro said as he sighed, looking back to the sky. Tadashi sat next to him quietly and the silence accompanied them became comfortable again. 

 

“You don’t seem to like Honey very much,” Tadashi said after an ample amount of silence. Hiro’s shoulder became tense. He kept his eyes glued to the sky as he tried to come out with an answer—any answer that didn’t reveal his true thoughts about the woman. 

 

“I like her,” he lied easily without flinching. 

 

“You really don’t,” Tadashi said after a while, his voice held no urgency. Hiro felt uncomfortable at how easily Tadashi saw through his lies. But something about this situation was funny too, making him to curl his lips into a menacing smile at the sky. 

 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Hiro said finally, hoping Tadashi would just drop the subject. 

 

“You do,” Tadashi said. “You really do know what I’m trying to say. Did something happen between the two of you?”

 

Hiro looked to the ground, feeling his neck aching from having to look at the sky for too long. “There’s nothing going on between us. I barely know her,” Hiro said, his voice held no desire to continue talking. But Tadashi only sighed, signalling that this conversation was far from over. 

 

“You dislike her though,” Tadashi said. “You really don’t like her and I don’t know why.”

 

Hiro remained silent before he ran his fingers through his hair. “Does it even matter? I’m not the one who’s going to spend every second of my life with her.”

 

“Can we not do this?” Tadashi asked, this time he sounded tired. “Can you please not deflect my questions and just answer me?”

 

“What do you want me to say?” Hiro finally asked, his voice sounded clipped. Frustration was building inside of him. If he could have his way, he would’ve left this place, gone home and locked himself in his room. He didn’t want to be questioned about why he liked or disliked someone. It was his own preference on who he chose to like. Even if half the time, he chose the wrong person to like. 

 

“The truth would be a great start,” Tadashi said as he stood up, walking to stand in front of Hiro. “Hiro, why don’t you like her?”

 

“I do like her,” Hiro said before finally looking at Tadashi with an unconvincing smile. “I like her. Why won’t I like her?”

 

“I don’t know,” Tadashi said with a smile of his own, but it came out tired more than anything else. Hiro flinched a bit, realising he did that to the man. God, he was a disaster. “You leave every time she’s in the same room as you. You speak monotonously whenever she starts a conversation with you and…I just needed to know.”

 

“Well,” Hiro said as he licked his lips, furrowing his eyebrows. “I don’t see why that’s something you need to be bothered about. Is this about how it’s going to look in front of everybody else?” Tadashi’s eyebrows rose at the accusation. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, are you afraid I’ll look like a jealous boyfriend?” Hiro asked, a bitter smirk worked on his face. “Because I assure you, I have nothing to be jealous about.” The words in his mouth were beginning to form harsher sentences. He was beginning to sound defensive and Tadashi’s eyes narrowed. 

 

“Okay, I really don’t know what turned you into this tonight, but whatever it is, could you please stop taking it out on me?” Tadashi asked, his voice came out tight. 

 

“What? I’m not taking it out on anyone,” Hiro said as he slowly stood up, his shoulders tense. “You’re the one who kept on bugging me about what the hell is wrong with me all the time!”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Tadashi asked. “You act like I’m going to hurt you whenever we’re together. If you really can’t be friends with me, why don’t you just open your mouth and say so?”

 

Hiro narrowed his eyes at Tadashi, clenching his hands into a ball. Irritation spiked in his mind like a tornado, messing up his thoughts along the way. “It’s not me who thinks every time we hang out is another fucking act, Tadashi!”

 

Tadashi frowned deep, confusion filling up in those eyes. “What does that—”

 

“You don’t know? You really don’t know?” Hiro asked. “You keep on reminding me that we’re pretending, that what we’re really doing is giving people more to talk about our supposedly great relationship. Every time we hang out, you won’t fail to remind me that no, what we’re doing is acting!”

 

Tadashi’s lips thinned before he took a menacing step forward. “You’re the one who made me talk like that, Hiro. You’re the one who look like you can’t stand at the thought that we’re friends. So, I was doing a favour, letting you know that we really are just pretending.”

 

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard,” Hiro huffed out, the fight leaving him immediately. 

 

“Is it?” Tadashi asked. “You don’t have to lie anymore, Hiro. You can’t be friends with me for whatever reasons. I get it. Just…I wish you would trust me for once that I’m _not_ going to hurt you.”

 

Hiro squeezed his eyes shut, the bitter prickling feeling came back in full force, making him hard to breathe. He opened his eyes for a second, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. The soft thrums of nervousness became panic and before he knew it, everything once again started to overwhelm him. He couldn’t breathe, he was panting by the time he tried to grasp on one emotion to stick with. 

 

A pair of hands grabbed his shoulders as he slowly slumped to the ground, trying to breathe properly. He felt his hands growing cold and his mind blanking. “ _Breathe, Hiro_!” the voice exclaimed in worry and before he knew it, tears had leaked out of his eyes. He was cold, he was clammy and he hated himself for feeling so useless almost all the time. 

 

Everything slowly slowed down when one of the hands left his shoulder and touched his face, making him to snap out of his trance, of his thoughts, of his emotions. Almost immediately, when he saw Tadashi’s face, the panic started to disappear. He could slowly feel the warmth that those hands were radiating on him and it calmed him down. 

 

“Breathe,” Tadashi said, his voice hushed. Hiro couldn’t helpbut to just stare at Tadashi, lost in some kind of trance for a second, not even realising that he had tears still running down his face. “Hiro,” Tadashi said after a second, his voice shook and his eyes were filled with worry. Before Hiro could realise what was happening, Tadashi had hugged him, wrapping his arms around him and dragging him close. 

 

“W—what?” Hiro croaked out, his voice felt wet and hoarse. 

 

“What the hell was that?” Tadashi asked, muffled with his face buried in Hiro’s hair. The younger actor didn’t know what to do, his face heated up and his heart started to beat fast again. The warmth slowly enveloped him and everything painful about them slowly faded away. “I’m sorry,” Tadashi whispered. “I’m sorry. Did I do that? I’m sorry.”

 

Hiro regained enough composure but not enough to feel embarrassed, instead, he felt confused as he slowly pushed Tadashi off him. The older actor complied, but his hands were still wrapped around Hiro. After a second, the reality of what happened crashed on Hiro and the younger actor flinched, rubbing his eyes. “Just…let me go,” Hiro whispered as he pushed the older actor away, embarrassment now flooded his mind with anger at himself. “I…I want to go home.”

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi started, his hands falling away from Hiro. “Was that a panic attack?”

 

Hiro remained quiet. “Yeah,” he said. “I keep on getting them for some reasons lately.” 

 

“Is it…because of me?” Tadashi asked. “Did I say something to trigger it?”

 

“No,” Hiro said as he chuckled bitterly. “I’m just a mess, aren’t I? I can’t even deal with my emotions without wanting to throw the nearest object I can find at someone. I hate this,” Hiro said defeated as he rubbed his face. “I’m so useless.”

 

Tadashi looked helpless, even more confused and Hiro pitied him for a minute. Really, what did Tadashi do anyway to have gotten such a messed-up friend like Hiro? He sighed as he pushed Tadashi further from him, giving them some distance. “I don’t know who made you feel like you can’t even trust yourself,” Tadashi started quietly. Hiro closed his eyes, knowing that Tadashi was going to be right about this one. He always was even if sometimes his conclusions missed the mark a few inches.

 

“But I assure you,” Tadashi continued. “You’re never useless to me, or to anyone. You have no idea how brilliant you are. You have no idea how—unique you are. I’m just trying to show you that you being you is…it’s…”

 

But Tadashi didn’t continue, Hiro noted as he opened his eyes and looked at him. His eyes were still wet, the tears gathering at the edge of his eyes again. Tadashi’s face softened from worry to sadness, confusion and hurt. “Is it that hard to believe that I’m genuine about wanting to be with you, next to you, by your side? Is it really hard to believe that I won’t ever, never hurt you?”

 

Hiro closed his eyes again as he took in a shaky breath. His lips felt chapped and his throat felt dry. He just felt drained out of energy. “You’re already hurting me, that’s why I can’t trust you,” Hiro finally said, his voice came out strangled. 

 

Tense silence washed in between them as Hiro opened his eyes, laughing without humour to himself as a few more tears leaked out of his eyes. He felt so pathetic, god. He rubbed his eyes as he looked at Tadashi, who looked stunned at the accusation. “What?” Tadashi asked, confused. “What do you mean—I hurt you?”

 

Hiro simply gave him a smile, a broken one as he shook his head. “You’re already hurting me, unintentionally, you know,” Hiro said before he decided it was best if he just left. He stood up, balancing himself. “I’m sorry.” He was about to walk away when Tadashi stood up, grabbing his wrist, halting him. 

 

“I’m sorry?” Tadashi whispered. Hiro sighed shakily as he tried to pull his wrist from the older actor’s grasp. “I’m sorry—I don’t…Hiro, what are you talking about?”

 

“Nothing,” Hiro said as he tried to pull again, only for the grip around his wrist tightened. 

 

“Look at me, damnit,” Tadashi said, his voice coming out desperate. When Hiro still wouldn’t see him, Tadashi pulled his wrist harshly, causing Hiro to turn and look at him, not before stumbling a few feet forward until he had to place his free hand against Tadashi’s chest so he wouldn’t crash face first into it. 

 

“What—Let me go, Tadashi,” Hiro said as he looked at the older man. “I mean it. I…You don’t know, that’s why. Okay? It’s not your fault that you’re…I just can’t stand to see your face.”

 

Tadashi flinched at the words, the grip around his wrist loosened enough for Hiro to snatch his wrist back. “You can’t stand to see my face? That’s why I’m hurting you?”

 

Hiro knew Tadashi took it the wrong way. He knew he should deny, say something, anything to clear this misunderstanding but Hiro realised, this was his chance. His chance to break free from these invisible chains tying him with the older actor. “Yes,” Hiro said finally, the word felt horrible in his mouth, but he really couldn’t say anything else. 

 

Tadashi entire demeanour changed and his emotions cleared off from his face. “Oh,” Tadashi said before he laughed, harshly. “I should’ve known. I mean, what was I thinking? You obviously can’t stand me anyway. I should’ve realised it. I’m the idiot here, for believing for a second, you could see me beyond these facades I have to wear every day.”

 

“Tadashi, I—”

 

“I don’t want to listen anymore,” Tadashi said, cutting him off and shaking his head. He took in a deep breath before he looked at Hiro in the eyes, sharply, and coldly, just like how Hiro remembered him when they first met. “I…think I heard enough. Don’t worry, you don’t have to see my face anymore. I’ll stay out of your way.”

 

Hiro bawled his hands up into a fist at his sides, restraining himself on denying everything, in telling the truth that Tadashi was the only person he ever would like—love—whatever it was in his heart at the moment. But when Tadashi stared up to him expectantly, Hiro knew that it was time to end this. It was better this way, he tried to convince himself as he nodded. “Yeah…thanks,” Hiro said. 

 

Tadashi scoffed before he shook his head and walked away. Hiro knew that Tadashi was angry at him, disappointed at him, but Hiro didn’t go after him. He took in another gulp of air as he tried to will down this horrible pain in his chest. 

 

It was done, they were done, for real. He should be sighing in relief, he didn’t have to see Tadashi anymore. But he just couldn’t bring himself to like this new development. In fact, he hated himself for being so—him. 

 

Hiro decided it was time to leave. He walked back into the hall after composing himself, and tried to smile his way through. He needed to get home, but Tadashi was the one who drove him here. He felt his stomach churning unpleasantly as he noticed Tadashi, already with some people, talking. 

 

He could call a cab but that would alert the media that something happened. Hiro rubbed his face before gathering up every strand of courage and walked up to Tadashi. He took in a deep breath before patting on Tadashi’s shoulder, jerking the man from the conversation to look at him. 

 

Immediately, the smile turned plastic and Hiro had to look away for a brief moment just so that he wouldn’t break down again. “Hi,” Hiro said as he smiled at the guests in front of him. “If you don’t mind, it’s late and I really need to head home. You know, early meetings and all of that,” Hiro explained to the guests before he glanced at Tadashi, who was looking at him unamused.

 

“Oh, sure! We completely understand,” the male guest said with a smile on his face. “Thank you for stopping by.”

 

Tadashi immediately looked back at the guests and smiled. “No problem. We’ll take our leave then.”

 

With that, they walked out of the event, smiling and hoping that none of the cameramen waiting outside caught their plasticity. 

 

Once inside the car and far away from the event, all the act dropped and terse silence accompanied them. Hiro fidgeted for a second, knowing how horrible Tadashi must be feeling at the moment. He almost felt sorry for the older actor and sighed gently under his breath. “You should’ve told Honey we’re leaving,” Hiro said gently. 

 

Tadashi’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. “I’ll talk to her tonight,” was his curt reply and that was it, their conversation ended. Hiro didn’t strike it back. Once Tadashi pulled over at Hiro’s house, the younger actor found himself waiting for something to happen. He hesitated for a second to actually open the door and walk out. He knew that if he did, that was it—that was the end for them. After a few seconds of silence and still nobody said anything, Hiro finally decided to get out. It was no use torturing himself for something that might never happen. 

 

“So, thanks,” Hiro mumbled under his breath. 

 

Hiro didn’t know that he was waiting for Tadashi to stop him until he felt his heart sink as he watched the car drive away from him without a second glance. The younger actor felt the world collapsing that night as he shook his head, his eyes were becoming wet again and his heart clenched tightly at the pain. 

 

Cass was already at the living room, drinking some red wine and reading something when Hiro stumbled into the living room. “Hey, you’re back—Hiro?” Cass questioned as she stood up from the couch, placing the glass of red wine on the coffee table and placing the book next to it, the blanket that was neatly placed on her thighs slipped to the ground. 

 

He looked at his aunt before he said, “I ended it with him tonight.”

 

That was all it took before he felt the sob tearing through him without mercy. Cass walked up to him immediately and wrapped her arms around him. “Oh, Hiro,” she whispered gently as Hiro clung onto her, like he did the first time he found out his parents had died. “I’m sorry,” she said as Hiro tried to take deep breaths in her arms, only for him to fail at containing the tears all over again.

 

“I—I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Hiro explained through the tears. “I—I said I couldn’t stand his face and that he hurts me without knowing he’s doing it and he took it the wrong way and I…I didn’t make him believe otherwise. It just ended and I should be feeling relieved but—I’m not.”

 

“Of course you’re not,” Cass said with a sigh as she hugged him tight, rubbing his back. “He meant something important to you, Hiro. Of course, it would hurt. I’m just sorry things didn’t work out for the better.”

 

“He wants her,” Hiro babbled quietly. “He wants her and I can’t stop him from wanting her. I can’t be in between them because I know she wants him too. I—I can’t just be his friend anymore, Aunt Cass. I—I’m in love with him.”

 

Cass’s only answer was another tight hug, making him feel like she was giving him all the love and comfort in the world, warming him up when he felt so cold inside. “I just want to leave,” Hiro finally said, after what seemed like a long time of silence, after he had calmed down. 

 

“We’ll leave the minute your contract is over,” Cass promised. 

 

“Thank you,” Hiro said as he hugged her tighter, wishing time flew faster than it normally did so he could leave all of this behind, so he could feel better again, so he didn’t have to face any more of this pain. Cass simply pulled him to the couch before she hugged him again, trying to divert his attention from the memories of what happened a few hours ago. 

 

Tears dried up and his heartache began to dull even if it left a scar. He sighed gently as he closed his eyes and enjoyed her warmth, realising for the first time in a while that he could feel alright again if he gave himself a chance to feel so. 

 

***

 

Tadashi kept his word. Hiro rarely saw him, and even if he did, it was just for brief moments before he would disappear from Hiro’s sight. The younger actor felt solemn, still feeling bitter at everything that had happened. Soon, before he knew it, it was time for their ‘break-up’ and it didn’t take long to stage a fight, to make up a story, and just roll with it. 

 

Before Hiro realised, every news tabloid started reporting the end of their relationship. Interview invitations started to pour in and paparazzi started to stalk him again, asking him question to who broke up first to why. Hiro ignored them and rejected ever interview invitation he received. Tadashi only attended a few, confident with his answers and just like that, Hiro realised they were done. 

 

Nobody was going to force them to be together, nobody was going to make them go anywhere together and nobody was going to force them to be someone they didn’t want to. Hiro took this opportunity and decided that he was ready to leave. 

 

Gordon didn’t look surprised when Hiro told him at the next meeting with Jack and James that he didn’t want to renew his contract. James didn’t look happy but Jack simply sighed resigned. “We always knew you’ll be the first one to cave out when this is done,” he said. 

 

“I think I had my share of everything,” Hiro said with a smile. “I’ve done a lot, some I’m not very proud of, and I think it’s time I took my leave.”

 

“Remember, you can still renew your contract with us if you change your mind,” James added a little while later. “We might be hard to understand, but we’re not heartless.”

 

“Many agents are heartless,” Hiro said before he looked at Jack and James. “But you both probably are the nicest ones there is.”

 

“Well, we care for our clients,” Jack said before he stood up. “Well, if that’s all then, Hiro.”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said as he stood up. Jack offered a handshake, to seal the deal and Hiro took it, shaking Jack’s hand and James before watching them leave the meeting room. Gordon sighed as he walked up to Hiro, before smiling at him. 

 

“Well, does this mean this is the end of my services?” Gordon joked and Hiro couldn’t help but to laugh a bit. “I’m also taking that you’re not going to audition for that movie, huh?”

 

“Nope,” Hiro said with a crooked grin. “I really want to leave, Gordon. It’s time I went back home.”

 

“Hey, it’ll sell the story,” Gordon said with a chuckle. “Hiro got so upset about the breakup, he decided to leave Hollywood.”

 

“I make stories wherever I go,” Hiro joked back before he sighed and held out his hand. “Thank you, Gordon, for everything.”

 

“My pleasure, kid,” he said before he shook Hiro’s hand. “You have my number, call me whenever you want to meet up. Even if I was your agent, I’m still your friend.”

 

Hiro felt something warm washing into him as he smiled brightly. “Thank you, Gordon. Really.”

 

Gordon simply smiled back before he shook his head. “Good luck, Hiro.”

 

Hiro nodded before he looked at Gordon one last time and walked out of the meeting room, walked out in the life he grew to love once and walked out to a better future. He felt like the weight of his shoulders was lifted and his heart felt slightly content. 

 

He still wasn’t completely happy, not with how things with Tadashi ended but he couldn’t find it in himself to care anymore. He wanted to live. He wanted to breathe. He wanted to be himself again, go back to his labs like he used to. 

 

He felt his fingers tingling in a type of anticipation he hadn’t felt for years ever since his parents died. He felt like he was ready again—ready to create. 

 

Cass met him outside, leaning against her car, smiling. They had already packed up and were ready to move away from this place. Hiro had sold the mansion like house, and sold everything else that he didn’t think he needed. Cass had busied herself on buying a place in San Fransokyo and was excited when she found a place that seemed to fit her taste. 

 

“I still can’t believe you bought the entire bakery,” Hiro said as he got into the passenger seat, wearing his seatbelt as his aunt beamed happily at him from the driver’s seat. 

 

“It’s a beautiful unit, Hiro,” she said happily. “I always wanted to have my own bakery, or maybe I can transform it into a cafe. And it has a house above it. It’s a bonus.”

 

Hiro couldn’t help but to laugh, feeling like he was floating on nothing but air. Cass noticed the smile and smiled back, just as brightly. “We’re finally going back,” she said as she started to drive. Hiro took in a deep breath, nodding. 

 

“Aunt Cass, let’s go home.”

 

Cass glanced at her nephew before grinning and nodding, agreeing with him. With a happy sigh, she said, “Let’s go home.”

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.
> 
> A/N: Heeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Yeaaaahhhhh. I promised an update, and here it is! Well, it's quite long and I got some new ideas to add into this story and yeah, anyways, sorry for the late update tho. I was busy, again. //sigh I hope you guys will like this chapter anyways! I thank to those who have liked the last chapter, commented, gave this story kudos, subscribed and bookmarked this story! Means a lot to me ahaha <33 
> 
> Well, I'll ramble a bit more at the end, but for now, enjoy!

 

It didn’t take long for the world to wonder why Hiro had left the industry, moved back to a place they had no idea existed and started to work his way back to the top, in a different field, something so completely different from what he was used to. The news started printing about their speculations, some were so off mark and some—hit too close to home. 

 

The first week after Hiro had settled in San Fransokyo, the media couldn’t stop reporting about the reason why Hiro left Hollywood and most of them speculated around the ‘break-up’ with Tadashi. Hiro had to smile to himself sometimes, bitterly, at the thought that they did break, in some parts, just not like how they were speculating. 

 

The agency he worked for kept a tight lid to where he had ‘disappeared’ to. Hiro knew he let most of his fans down, most of the people who had brought him to where he stood now but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He felt so worn out that the minute he was crossing the familiar bridge he hadn’t seen for so long, everything that he thought he could outrun came back crashing into him like a tsunami. 

 

The memories of the past painted itself as he passed the familiar streets, passing by the familiar stores, the places he used to visit when he was a child—he felt horribly nostalgic. Halfway, he had a hard time remembering why the hell he left this place. He knew he was still hurting and he could probably be hurting forever because he didn’t think he would get over his parents’ deaths. But he couldn’t recall the exact reason as to why he left this place. 

 

It had been a month since he left, and the paparazzi were still out looking for him, even though he made sure he kept his profile low. The old neighbourhood welcomed him with warm smiles and gifts, and they didn’t seem overwhelmed with his appearance. They treated him like he was just this kid they had known since he was young, this kid that tragically lost his parents when he was young. 

 

And Hiro—he liked this normalcy. He sighed as he jogged down the stairs, heading to the kitchen where his aunt was making coffee. “Good morning, Aunt Cass,” Hiro greeted her as he kissed her cheeks before he leaned against the counter. 

 

“Morning, Hiro,” she said with a warm smile. His aunt looked vibrant ever since they moved back to San Fransokyo. She was happier, he noted, her smiles always wide and bright. The cafe was an instant hit once they finished renovating and opened it. The customers enjoyed her pies mostly and her coffee. 

 

Hiro was glad that she was achieving her own dreams. “What are you going to do today?” Cass asked as she handed him a mug of coffee. Hiro took it with an appreciative smile and sipped on the coffee. 

 

“Well,” he said with a tentative shrug. He watched her closely before he said, “I’m thinking of checking out the lab.”

 

She stopped dead in her tracks, staring at Hiro as her eyes widened. “Really?” she asked. “Hiro, are you sure?”

 

Hiro shrugged again, feeling numb suddenly at the prospect at going back to the lab. “Yeah,” he said resolutely at the end. “I have to do it some time, so why not now? It’s been a few years already. I think I can do it.”

 

“If you think so,” she said slowly. “Before you go to the lab, don’t forget to visit them, okay?”

 

Hiro’s smile dulled at the edges. He nodded solemnly as he closed his eyes, trying to block out this short pain in his chest. His parents were inventors. Maybe not as famous as they should have been, but they made the world a better place for Hiro anyway. It made the ex-actor feel grateful that he was brought up in an environment where there was science. 

 

But he couldn’t bear to think anything remotely close to that when his parents died. He didn’t want to expand his knowledge in science even if he did have a gift for it. But now that he was back, now that he had left all of that behind him, he was going to start fresh, starting with the lab his parents owned. 

 

When his parents died, they had given the lab to Hiro, it was their only prized possession at that time. The ex-actor knew that the lab was still filled with his parents’ things. He didn’t step into the lab after his parents died. He didn’t think he could, with their memories waving through each item. 

 

Now, he was ready. The pain in his chest flared. Maybe, he was ready, he corrected himself. He shook his head from the thoughts before he opened his eyes, a hand landing on his shoulder. He looked at his aunt before he smiled again, assuring her that he was fine. 

 

“Do you want me to come along?” she asked. 

 

“No, if you don’t mind, I…I want to see it first,” he said. His aunt stared at him for a second before she nodded at the end. “Thanks.”

 

“And along the way, you should think about pursuing your studies,” she said, changing the subject. She squeezed his shoulder before she dropped her hand to her sides. Hiro rolled his eyes as he looked down to his feet. 

 

“Do I have to?” he asked, his voice coming out whiny. “I mean, we have enough money to last forever!”

 

“Hiro, you know how I feel about education,” Cass said. “But it’s up to you. I just feel like it’s a waste of your intelligence if you don’t put it to good use. Your mother got her doctorate as the tender age of nineteen. At your age and your father, oh, your father was so smart, he was just a genius in numbers. You have that gift, I know it. You graduated from high school when you were fourteen, Hiro.”

 

Hiro couldn’t help but to smile at the memories of his parents. He knew how smart they were, even if they were forgotten at the end of their time. “I know,” he said as he looked at Cass. “I’ll think about it. I promise.”

 

“Okay,” she said, satisfied with his answer and slapped his shoulder playfully. “I have to start with the cafe. It’s a Monday, tough crowd to please on Mondays.”

 

Hiro cringed at the thought. He had witnessed the morning crowd on Mondays. It wasn’t pleasant and by the time it was noon, they were both exhausted from catering the customers. “Do you need help?” Hiro asked. 

 

“No,” Cass said quickly. “I hired somebody. It should be fine.”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows. “You hired somebody? Who? Do I know them?”

 

“Ah, her name’s Abigail,” Cass said with a smile. “She’s just working part time until she finishes her masters in SFIT.” 

 

Hiro whistled in amazement. “A genius, eh?” he asked, smiling widely. 

 

“That could be you too, just saying,” Cass said as she shrugged with a smile on her face. Hiro rolled his eyes before he pushed himself away from the counter. 

 

“I better get going,” Hiro said as he started to walk out of the kitchen. Cass wished him goodbye and Hiro could hear the underlying good luck in her tone. He simply flashed her a grin over his shoulders before he disappeared from her view. 

 

***

 

Hiro had stopped by the florist before he headed to the graveyard. He actually stood at the gate, not entering the compound as his heart started to beat heavily against his chest. He hadn’t been here for such a long time. He didn’t want to come here, in fact, he made sure he stayed away from this place. When he had moved away, he didn’t follow his aunt to the graveyard whenever their death anniversaries came around. 

 

He didn’t think he could stare at the cold stones, reminding him that they were six feet under the ground without a care in the world. He felt his eyes watering as he took in a shaky breath, his grip around the flowers tightened. 

 

There it was, this familiar ache that he had thought he had left behind all those years ago. But he was old enough to face reality, his reality. He wasn’t going to be in pretence anymore. He had covered himself in a mask all this while, and it didn’t help him at all, in fact, it made accepting the truth even harder. 

 

He took in another deep breath before he walked into the graveyard, walking with determined steps to where his parents were buried. There, Hiro spotted the gravestones. They were clean, looking new as if somebody had been taking care of them. Hiro couldn’t help but to smile gently as he stood in front of the two tombstones, next to each other. 

 

“Hey,” he said, after what seemed like an infinity of silence. “Hey, mom, dad.”

 

He then crouched down to his knees, placing the flowers against the cold stone. The wind blew at him as if it was caressing him. It made this situation even more melancholic. He couldn’t help but to chuckle hoarsely. He didn’t dare to touch the stones, his hands shaking as he bawled them into fists on his lap. 

 

“So, here I am,” he said with a gentle smile. “I mean, sorry, I didn’t visit you guys for so long. It wasn’t like I wanted to stay away. Okay, maybe I did. But…it wasn’t because I can. I just…couldn’t face you guys.” Hiro clamped his lips shut when he felt the tears gathering in his eyes. He was about to cry, he could feel it. “You left me with your lab. I didn’t even see the lab since you guys died. I can’t. Anyway, I miss you two. You two didn’t know this, maybe you felt it, maybe you’ve seen it on my face, but I always thought you two were my heroes. Geniuses in disguises, you know?”

 

He then sat on the grass patch, this time he let his fingers touch the cold stone. He patted them both, feeling like that child again, the child he was when he was with his parents. The tears slid down his cheeks, and he could only let them come down. “I miss you guys a lot. I love you two and I’m sorry I ran away. I’m sorry I didn’t pursue my true potential. I’m sorry I broke your hearts when I ran away. But I’m here now. I’m here now, and I won’t leave you guys anymore.”

 

He could feel their hugs, and he could imagine their smiles on their faces as he closed his eyes. He just wished they were still here with him, most of the time. “Cass is great and all, but it’s not the same, you know? Just wish you guys were here.”

 

He caressed the stones again. “I,” he started. “I also got my heart broken again. Well, it was my fault. I mean, I fell in love with him. Who knew, my first love is a guy. But he’s pretty cool, you know? I hated his gut when I first met him. He just seemed like a showoff but then…I learned about him, and I realised, he wasn’t so bad. I fell for him at the end but you know what’s funny? He’s not in love with me. He’s in love with his best friend, and she’s beautiful. She’s really beautiful.”

 

Hiro felt a sob threatening to take over him again as he shook his head and rubbed his face. “God, I feel so pathetic. How did you two even dealt with this pain? It hurts to love somebody. I left him, you know? Without telling him, I just left him. I can’t see him be happy with someone else even if I wanted him to be happy. God, I never been this selfless before. It hurts. I hate it.” He laughed brokenly as he took in a deep breath. 

 

“Is there a way for me to stop feeling this way about him?” 

 

But the only response he got was the calm silence. He tried to stop the tears, tried to stop feeling like he was being squished into pieces. It took him some time until he could finally push away this pain to the back of his head. Tadashi’s face flashed into his mind. He had heard about the man once in a while. But there was no official news about Tadashi or how he took the news about Hiro’s disappearance. 

 

Gordon called him last week, just to tell him about how things were there but they didn’t talk about Tadashi and Hiro didn’t ask him about the man. The ex-actor didn’t want to know about the taller actor anymore. He decided he wanted to move on, just forget about the man who without knowingly broke his heart. “I think you two would’ve loved him,” he said absent-mindedly to his parents. 

 

“If you met him, you would’ve loved him.”

 

***

 

The small building came into view as Hiro drove past the street. There it was, right there, waiting for his arrival patiently. He parked his car and he just sat in the car, not moving. He didn’t think he wanted to move yet. He was so exhausted already, emotionally and mentally. He felt like his heart had been torn into pieces and glued back together. 

 

But he was glad in some ways because now, he could finally move on. For now, he could finally acknowledge that he was done with this pain. Because now, he could finally be back to himself without caring much about what other people thought about him. He didn’t want to care anymore. 

 

He got out of the car and locked it before he turned his attention to the small building, all alone at the corner of the road. It looked abandoned and the white colour of the building was peeling off. He smiled ruefully to himself as he walked to the building, placing a palm against the wall before patting it. 

 

“Sorry,” he said to it, as if the building was offended with him. “I wasn’t ready.”

 

Now, he was ready though. So, he took in a deep breath and placed his palm a few inches away from where he patted the wall. It took a few seconds for a light blue laser to appear an inch from the tip of his fingers and scanning his palm. Then, a door-shaped frame appeared next to his hand, sliding open with a silent hiss. 

 

Hiro smiled as he dropped his hand and took in a deep breath. He then walked inside, almost immediately the whole building lit up. The computers started running and machines were turned on. 

 

“Hiro Hamada, welcome back,” a voice from the ceiling spoke. Hiro blinked at the voice, remembering vaguely that his parents had installed a prototype artificial intelligence, AI, in the lab. Heck, this whole place was like a dream come true for a spy agent. He personally imagined himself as some sort of spy whenever he was allowed to follow his parents to the lab. 

 

“Yeah,” he said gently. “It’s good to be back, Baymax.”

 

The voice was named Baymax. He didn’t know why his parents would ever name the AI as Baymax, but Hiro had learned to love that name. It was also the name from the Big Hero 6 movie, the nurse-bot. Hiro knew he had been the one to introduce the name to the writer when they inquired everyone what to name the bot. He just forgot why he chose that name, until now. He couldn’t help but to imagine a white balloon marshmallow like robot if Baymax was given a body, just like how the character in the movie would be. He would probably look really cute and Hiro had half a mind last time to build a body for the AI before his parents died. 

 

“Would you like a recap on how some of the apparatuses work?” Baymax asked. Hiro couldn’t help but to chuckle as he started to walk around, surveying the long-abandoned lab. 

 

“No,” he said. “Sorry, buddy, for not coming around.”

 

“It is…expected,” Baymax said slowly, as if gauging Hiro for his reaction. “The Hamadas have been missed dearly.”

 

Hiro felt something getting stuck in his throat as he chuckled dryly. “Yeah,” he said. “So, what have you been up to while I was gone?” Hiro asked, changing the subject. He knew that Baymax would have gone hibernating over the years, but it didn’t stop Hiro from making small talk. His parents had worked on Baymax for so long until they deemed that this AI was it. This AI was the one, ready for the world but before they could release Baymax for public discretion, the tragedy happened. 

 

So, Hiro didn’t pursue that dream and abandoned everything, running far away from this field. “I have been keeping a track to what is happening to the world and you, Hiro.”

 

Hiro grinned widely. “Oh?” he asked as he stopped to stare at the main computer, noting that he should switch on the computer. “And what did you find out about the world and me?”

 

“You have been acting,” Baymax said in what Hiro would’ve known as a disapproval tone. Hiro couldn’t help but to chuckle, his heart suddenly warming up. There was so much familiarity that his parents had installed in Baymax, including human-like emotions even though the AI had a five-year-old curiosity. It was refreshing, Hiro noted. He missed this. 

 

“I have,” he said. “Oh well, I had.”

 

“I know,” Baymax said, this time sounding confused. “It seems you have gone missing according to the tabloid news. Is it because of your apparent ‘break-up’ with the other actor, Tadashi Takachiho?”

 

Hiro stopped trying to turn on the main computer, freezing for a second. His heart thumped loudly against his chest before he sighed. “Can you keep a secret, Baymax?”

 

“Of course,” Baymax said, sounding even more confused. “You are emitting high levels of frustration. Is there something wrong?”

 

“Stop scanning me, Baymax,” Hiro said. Baymax seemed to quieten down, waiting for Hiro to speak. “You could say Tadashi had something to do with the disappearance. I was in love with him, he didn’t feel the same way, and I left.” He tried to summarise it as shortly and painless as possible, but it still made him cringe at the end. 

 

“It is true then? Tadashi and Hiro have been romantically involved?” 

 

“Not really, we were acting,” Hiro said with a shrug. “Something the agency wanted us to do so that we could gain more fans. But ah, it didn’t turn out that well for me, so here I am.”

 

Baymax didn’t say anything and for a second, Hiro feared that Baymax was going to contact the tabloid news to tell the truth when, “Your secret is safe with me.”

 

Hiro sighed in relief. “Well, now that’s cleared off, let’s start reviving this place, Baymax.”

 

“Yes,” Baymax said, agreeing. “It has been too dark for too long.”

 

“Sorry,” Hiro said, wincing in guilt. 

 

Baymax didn’t say anything but Hiro suspected that the AI was pleased with his apology. Hiro took a look at the files that were saved up in the main computer, noticing that there were huge projects in there that never made it alive. He frowned gently as he sat at the dusty chair near the main computer, his fingers itching to bring one of those inventions to life. 

 

He caught to one project, a project that ultimately would change the world given the chance. His eyes widened as he read through the file. If his parents had managed to successfully bring this invention to life, they would revolutionise the medical industry. 

 

That was why Baymax was created. He wasn’t supposed to just be an AI, he was supposed to be more, supposed to be a human saviour of kind. A nurse-bot, Hiro muttered in his mind with nervousness and anticipation. Just like from the movies. It sounded so surreal because look at this, while someone else had written a movie about supposedly nurse-bots turning heroes, his parents had actually thought of making a nurse-bot for real. It could help a lot of people, make nursing sick people to health even better. Heck, this could open large opportunities for more discoveries and cure. 

 

But there was a huge problem ahead and it began with Hiro’s lack of knowledge on medicine or anything near robotic. He didn’t actually pick any of these up after his parents’ death and now that he was here, he began to realise he needed to study. 

 

Aunt Cass was probably right. He needed to study, he had to pursue his studies if he wanted to continue on his parents’ research. He bit his bottom lip as he stared at the folder. “Hey, Baymax? How do you feel about a body?”

 

“A body?” Baymax asked, puzzled. Hiro couldn’t help but to grin, though he felt the slight tremors of nervousness starting to bloom. 

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said slowly. “A body.”

 

***

 

“ _You little piece of sh_ —”

 

“I’m sorry!” 

 

Hiro closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip as he tried to prepare himself for the verbal abuse from Gogo over the line. He knew he had left her behind as well, not even bothering to let her know that he was giving up the entertainment industry. He knew that she was with him at every step of the way and she was the only one who truly understood him when nobody else did. 

 

And he felt guilty that he had left her behind in this state of confusion. But he had no choice, he wanted nobody to know where he was and that included Gogo. However, now that he had a month to adjust to his non-famous lifestyle, he decided to come clean to her. 

 

So, he called her up, as he was walking around the neighbourhood where his lab was located in. “You little—I fucking—You know what, Hiro? Fuck you. We’re not friends anymore.”

 

Hiro sighed gently under his breath. “I’m sorry,” he said gently under his breath. “I know you’re mad but…I—can’t let anybody know where I was going. I needed to break free, Gogo. I needed to breathe.”

 

Gogo remained quiet at the other side. “I know,” she said finally, her voice low and regretful. “I know what the fame did to you, wrung you dry of happiness. I know, I see the spark in your eyes dying every time I see you and when you left, I just…I don’t know what else to think!”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hiro said as he stopped walking, just taking in a deep breath as he stared at his feet. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

 

“Okay,” she said finally. “But if you pull something like this again, I’ll make sure you’ll get a good beating from me the next time I see you, brat.”

 

Hiro smiled as he ran his fingers through his hair, relief washing into him. “Noted,” he said. “How’s things there?”

 

“If you’re asking how things are after you left? Still the same,” Gogo said flippantly. “You’re not that important, Hiro.”

 

Hiro laughed, feeling the soft tremors of warmth covering him. “I’m glad for that,” he said. “I didn’t want them to target me anymore.”

 

Gogo laughed with him afterwards. “I miss you,” she blurted out suddenly, catching Hiro off guard. The young ex-actor stopped laughing, the laughter dying in his throat. He blinked at the sentence, his ears burning red at the confession. “And…yeah. I miss you a lot.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I should’ve told you.”

 

“I told you it’s fine,” Gogo said gruffly and Hiro could imagine the embarrassed look that would be adorning her face by now. He cracked a grin as he shook his head again and continued to walk. “How are you?”

 

“I feel better,” Hiro admitted though the truth didn't amount that much. “I went to visit my parents. I’m thinking of starting school. Who knows?”

 

“That’s good,” Gogo said slowly. “But how are you really?”

 

Hiro thinned his lips as he looked at the ground. “The same,” was his only reply. 

 

“I’m sorry,” she said slowly under her breath. “I…I know it must hurt.”

 

“It feels like I’m being torn apart into pieces,” he admitted as he chuckled dryly, the humour leaving him immediately. “I fell in love just like that and now, I’m getting hurt just like that. I feel like I’m expandable, you know.”

 

“You know that’s not true,” Gogo said, her voice sharp. “God, Hiro. You’re an amazing person. Don’t let one person drag you down.”

 

“I’m trying not to think about him,” Hiro said quietly. “But at night, when I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling, he’s all I can think about. Why is it so hard for me to let him go? I never had that problem before.”

 

“Maybe because you never cared for him like how you care for someone else?” Gogo said. 

 

“I trusted him,” Hiro said at last. Gogo sighed gently. “I told him I didn’t trust him. But I did. I told him he was hurting me and I left him thinking I hated him. And I did it because he’s in love with Honey and just—”

 

“I,” Gogo started, cutting him off. “About Honey. Hiro—”

 

His heart stopped beating for a second when he realised what Gogo was trying to say. “No,” he started. It had only been less than two months since they broke up. Could it be? “Gogo? Are you saying what I’m—”

 

“She confessed to him, Hiro,” Gogo said under her breath. “She told him about how she felt last week. They’re—they’re together, Hiro.”

 

Hiro went still for a whole second before he ended up chuckling harshly. He gripped his phone tight as his eyes blurred. “How—how do you know?”

 

“I…It’s news between the co-stars here,” Gogo said slowly. “I’m her costar. In this new movie and you know the audition that you didn’t take? Tadashi got the role by default and Honey is the main heroine and…I’m so sorry, Hiro. Everyone here knows already and they aren’t being discreet either.”

 

Hiro didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. His heart just thumped loudly against his chest and he couldn’t help but feel like he was drowning again. “I gotta go, Gogo,” he said. He didn’t even wait for her to respond as he cut off the line. He stood at the pavement, staring at the ground, scrunching his eyebrows at the news settled in his mind. 

 

They were together. Right after they broke up. Honey and Tadashi, finally together. 

 

His hands shook as he raised it to his face. For the second time that day, he realised he was crying. There was no sob, there was no shiver or anger, instead, he just felt resigned. The tears kept on pouring out of his eyes as he blinked. He was breaking apart again, he could feel it in his heart. 

 

He continued to walk, ignoring the tears still running down his face. Then—just as he realised he had begun running instead of walking, the pain crashed into him like a ton of bricks, catching his breath. Hiro almost tripped and fell on his face at the sudden pain in his chest. 

 

It hurt, he noted dully in his mind. It hurt so badly. 

 

He hadn’t even known that he had run all the way back to the cafe. He only knew that suddenly, he was entering the cafe, panting, his legs aching, his chest painfully squeezing his last breath and his vision obstructed by the tears and sweat. “Hiro?” Cass said, as she approached him, her face scrunched up in worry. “What the—why—what’s wrong?”

 

Hiro right then ended up sobbing, the pain flared heavily against his chest. Cass panicked a bit and before she could do anything, Hiro wrapped his arms around Cass and hugged her tight, burying his face against her shoulder. “Why can’t this pain end?” his voice cracked halfway. 

 

Cass immediately stiffened in his embrace. She then patted him gently at his back before she pushed him away from her. “Hiro, come on,” she said gently as she touched his arm and brought him into the living room. She pushed Hiro to sit on the couch before she sat opposite of him on the coffee table. Hiro simply watched her, his face still blanked out of emotions even if he felt the opposite. 

 

She sighed before she placed a hand on his cheek, caressing him before she smiled warmly. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice low and quiet. “Hiro, what’s wrong?”

 

“I,” Hiro started, the tears gathered again at the edge of his eyes. “He’s—I—I can’t do this anymore. Make this pain stop, please.”

 

“Hiro,” Cass said. “I can’t, honey. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to stop that. I can only offer comfort and hug you. But talking helps, it always helps. Please, talk to me. Is it—is it Tadashi?”

 

The name tore a new one in him. He rubbed his face with his hands, his entire body shaking from the pain and resignation. “He moved on,” Hiro gasped out. “He’s with Honey. Gogo said they confessed and they’re together and Aunt Cass…I feel so…small.”

 

Cass hugged him then, wrapping him and bringing him close to her own comfort. Hiro let himself cry hopelessly like some idiot who had given up his heart for naught. He didn’t think being in love could hurt this much and he thought that if he left Tadashi, maybe he wouldn’t have felt like he was dying if this happened. The problem was, it hurt worse. Worse than it ever did before. 

 

“I love him so much,” Hiro said. “But I can’t do anything about it. I can’t love him so openly and I can’t see him anymore. And I know I’m supposed to be happy for them because they deserve each other but—I just can’t watch this happening, they happening in front of me.”

 

“I know,” Cass said gently, running her fingers through his hair. “God, I wish you could forget about this pain too. I wish you could move on too but nothing is ever easy, love. I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

 

“I can’t breathe,” Hiro said. The tears stopped finally even though the pain was still there, like a fresh cut. It was like he was back to square one. He couldn’t budge away, couldn’t move on like he was supposed to. That was why he left everything behind, that was why he came back home. But he was getting roped back into this black and white wound. 

 

“You have to breathe,” Cass whispered under her breath. “You’re not that weak-willed. You can do it. You’ll heal.”

 

“I wish I can hate him,” Hiro said. “I wish I could just hate him. Things seemed so simple when I believed I hated him. I feel so exhausted. I feel so tired, Aunt Cass.”

 

Cass didn’t say anything, just continuing patting Hiro until he calmed down. Hiro felt the fight leaving his body, as if he just gave up and in some ways, he did. He closed his eyes, the last few drops of his tears escaped his eyes. He hugged Cass back tight, his mind reeling around the memories he shared with Tadashi. Even the bitter ones had a gentle caress to them before they turned bleak and painful. 

 

“You okay?” Cass asked. 

 

“No,” Hiro said with a soft dry chuckle. “I don’t think I’ll ever be fine.”

 

“Love does that to you,” Cass said absent-mindedly. “It’s a curse and a gift. Can’t live without it—and can’t live with it.”

 

Hiro didn’t comment about it, but he grabbed onto the words and held them tight like it was his mantra. He didn’t think he would ever become so dependant on someone before, but here he was, wandering like he had lost his limb, had lost a part of his soul. 

 

“He needs her,” Hiro said gently after a long silence. “He misses her. He wants her. I watched him pining first hand. They’ll last for a long time.”

 

“But you wish it was you,” Cass said, reading his mind. 

 

“It’s stupid of me,” Hiro said as he pushed himself away from Cass. He looked at her as he tried to smile, but it just came out broken. “It’s dumb to think that someone would want me.” Cass only shook her head and dropped her hands to his shoulders, clutching his shoulders tight. 

 

“I want you,” she said seriously. “Your parents wanted you. Your friends want you. The future people you will meet want you. Don’t ever forget, you’re not all that alone, okay?”

 

Hiro couldn’t find it in himself to agree with her. But he only nodded dully, even if he didn’t believe it. He stood up, gently pushing Cass’s hands away from his shoulders. “I’m going to my room.” He glanced at her aunt for a second before he walked away, jogging to his room and slamming the door shut. He slid down to the floor, his back against the door and stared ahead with a blank stare. 

 

He couldn’t help but to laugh a bit, brokenly as he found his situation pathetic and maybe slightly hilarious in a hysterical way. “Well,” he said to himself quietly. “I shouldn’t have been so surprised.”

 

***

 

It didn’t take long for Hiro to realise that the paparazzi had caught a sniff of Tadashi and Honey’s relationship. Before he knew it, the tabloids were reporting of their relationship when they were caught kissing at the beach by accident. Hiro only chucked his iPad across his bedroom floor, sighing loudly as he snuggled himself into his pillow. 

 

He knew he was acting like a child with a pitiful jealous tantrum but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Tadashi looked so happy with her and Hiro knew that they would fit well together, like two pieces of a perfect picture puzzle. He was never a part of the equation. 

 

Hiro wished that sometimes, things went his way for once. He wished for once that he could forget this feeling in his chest. It had been a week since he had known about the relationship before the paparazzi found out. He tried to work past this pain, started to spend most of his days at the lab, talking to Baymax and figuring out the mechanics on how to start with that nurse-bot project.

 

He even dropped by the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology to get the requirements of enrolment in Robotics. He left the enrolment letter on his desk when he got back to his bedroom, already digging through his past high school records to find the results he needed to enrol and to his short-lived happiness, he realised he was more than qualified for the school. 

 

Hah, Hiro still had it. 

 

But then the pain would come and crawl back into his chest at night and he was back thinking about Tadashi and Honey and how perfect they were in his eyes. He hated this feeling in his chest and he always felt pathetic by morning at himself. 

 

His smartphone rang in the middle of his thoughts. He grumbled and grabbed his smartphone from next to him, noting it was Gogo calling. Hiro was tempted to ignore her call, feeling slight strings of anger towards her for letting him know about this. But he also knew that she wanted him to know for his own good, for his own best and not because she was trying to act cruel. 

 

He sighed as he answered the call. “What?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Gogo apologised almost immediately. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just—I didn’t want you to find out through the tabloids like that and…”

 

“Did he,” Hiro started, his throat closing up with the words. “Did he even—did he even look for me?”

 

“Hiro,” Gogo started. 

 

“I know we didn’t have anything special, it was all an act, I know,” Hiro said furiously as he sat up, running his fingers through his hair. “But—I—Why did you tell me, Gogo? I didn’t want to know. I could’ve lived without knowing this fact and now I’m…I’m hurting, goddamnit. I hate this. I feel sick knowing he’s with her.”

 

Gogo remained quiet for a while and Hiro thought for a second that she was thinking, until he heard sniffles. He froze when he realised that Gogo was crying. “Gogo?” he questioned. “Gogo, are you crying?”

 

“No!” she said, but her voice betrayed her words. Hiro almost immediately felt guilty, biting his bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Hiro. I just didn’t want you to get shocked. I…I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Hiro said with a sigh. “I know what you were trying to do. I—I’m sorry I lashed out on you. I’m just—”

 

“I know,” Gogo said with a broken chuckle. “Hiro, you’re going to be fine.”

 

“Will I?” Hiro asked dryly. “Because right now…I don’t feel like I’m ever going to be fine.”

 

“Time heals everything,” Gogo said quietly, as if she was speaking for herself more than for him. Hiro licked his lips and nodded gently. They remained silent for a while before Gogo sighed. “Where are you?”

 

“San Fransokyo,” Hiro said, knowing he could trust her with his current location. “I’m in the heart of San Fransokyo.”

 

“And nobody found you?” she asked sceptically. 

 

“I live well in the heart, more like so at the heart that I’m overlooked,” Hiro said with a smile. Gogo chuckled from other side. 

 

“It won’t be long before someone spots you and reports finding you, right?” she asked, though he knew she was worried for him. 

 

“I know,” Hiro said with a shrug. “I’ll deal that when it comes.”

 

“I’m sorry,” she said again. Hiro smiled warmly this time. 

 

“I know,” he said. “I forgive you.”

 

***

 

Cass watched him out of the corner of her eyes, Hiro noticed, as he sipped on his coffee and filling up the university application form. “I’m fine, Aunt Cass,” Hiro said as he looked at her and smiled before he went back to filling up the form. 

 

“I’m just…worried, that’s all,” she said gently. Hiro stopped writing for a second, letting her words to wash into him before he shook his head and placed the pen on the paper. 

 

“I’ll be fine, I guess,” he said meekly, shrugging before he looked at his aunt. “I doubt he even looked for me, or wondered why I went missing.”

 

Cass only frowned gently at her nephew but she didn’t say anything else. Hiro licked his suddenly dry lips nervously and went back to the form. “So, what course are you applying for?” she asked, changing the subject. Hiro sighed in relief before he flashed another smile at his aunt. 

 

“Robotics,” Hiro said. “I want to study Robotics.”

 

Cass sounded pleased as she hummed out her response. Hiro felt his cheeks reddening at the approval and rolled his eyes. “I won’t even be accepted, you know.”

 

“I doubt that, but for now, just try it,” Cass said happily as she stood up. “I have to start opening up the cafe.”

 

“Right,” Hiro said as he stood up from the chair as well, grabbing the application form and necessary documents from the kitchen table. “I should turn these in.”

 

“Good luck,” Cass said as she walked around the kitchen table and hugged him tight for a second. “I’m proud of you.”

 

Hiro grinned widely as he nodded and walked away from his aunt. He looked down on the form and took in a deep breath. He could only hope he would get accepted to this prestigious school. His parents had graduated from SFIT, it just seemed befitting he get to do that too. 

 

He could only hope.

 

***

 

It didn’t take long for Hiro to receive a letter of response from SFIT, declaring him that he was officially enrolled and accepted. The young ex-actor could barely contain the grin and laughed brightly, his heart warm for the first time since two weeks after the news. “Aunt Cass,” he mumbled to himself as he rushed down the stairs, heading to the cafe. 

 

“Abigail,” he found the girl, the new helper Cass hired, minding the counter. She looked at him with a bright smile. “I got in!”

 

Abigail at first was overwhelming, especially since she realised she knew who Hiro was. The young ex-actor had to tell her, had to convince her that he didn’t want anyone to know he was here, that he wanted a fresh start and he needed that to happen. She smiled at him pitifully as she nodded, agreeing to shut up. Soon, Hiro learned that she was indeed brilliant, charming and she could be serious one second and crack a joke in the next. 

 

She was extremely matured too, despite her tender age. She was obviously not as young as Hiro, probably around her mid-twenties, but she was thoughtful and she seemed to understand him. Hiro found that she also inspired him to try harder to study at SFIT. It was nice, knowing that someonewith likes of his intellect was out there. 

 

He was convinced afterwards that that school was for him. Abigail only rolled her eyes. “I knew you were gonna get in,” Abigail said. “You’re a genius, man.”

 

Hiro couldn’t help but to blush at her compliment. “Where’s Aunt Cass?” he asked.

 

“Cass went out to order more supplies,” she said with a shrug. “She’ll be back in an hour.”

 

Hiro nodded as he looked back to the acceptance letter in his hand. He caressed the letter in his hands, feeling like he was one step closer to his parents, to his heritage. He could be normal, he realised after a second. This was his chance to enjoy his life, take things slow and not rush anything. 

 

It was time to live like his age. He felt the soft thrums of anticipation running through his body. “You know, if you go to school, people are going to recognise you, right?” Abigail said, catching his attention. Hiro immediately froze at her sentence because—that was true. Was he ready for people to see him in public? 

 

There was no way he could ask for discretion from the whole school. He sighed gently under his breath. “I’m willing to risk it,” he said finally. He couldn’t let go of this opportunity, not yet. This was his chance to learn in an environment his parents did. He would do anything to know his parents a bit more, and this was his chance. 

 

He was not letting go of this moment, even if—he didn’t dare to think about how he would be discovered. Hiro bit his bottom lip as he crunched his eyebrows. “You can do it,” Abigail said finally. “You’ve done it before, haven’t you? It takes guts to leave behind an environment that secures your future to try a new road. And even if it fails at the end, you’ll be leaving satisfied and happy that you’ve at least tried something new.”

 

She smiled at him encouragingly and Hiro couldn’t help but to feel like she was right. Hiro looked at her and nodded, with renewed passion. “Yeah, that’s true.”

 

Abigail only smiled brilliantly at him. 

 

***

 

When he started his first day in SFIT, he knew he would be recognised immediately. As he walked down the hallways, he realised people were staring at him, whispering and some were looking at him as if he had appeared from the dead. He found that he hated this attention because, this was what he was trying to leave behind. 

 

As he went to his first class, he was immediately surrounded by some people in his class, looking at him, asking him questions to bright introductions of themselves. Hiro smiled politely at them, one by one until they left him alone when the professor walked in. He sat down next to someone, sighing under his breath, knowing this was just the beginning of this problem. 

 

“Hey, you’re Hiro Hamada,” a voice next to him said in astonishment. Hiro cringed and sighed again before he looked at his left, smiling tightly at the person, who looked back at him with only a surprised look. 

 

“Yes, yes I am,” Hiro said before he added, “No, I didn’t die.”

 

“What?” the man said, confused for a second before his eyes widened and he laughed, nervously. “Oh, no, man, I didn’t—just didn’t think you were interested in…this. I mean, yeah, ah, never mind, just rambling to myself. Happens with new people and environment and god, _shut up_ , Wasabi.”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows at this person next to him, amused at his rambling. “What’s your name?” he asked, feeling like maybe, this guy wasn’t so bad. The man, looked at him from the corner of his eyes and licked his lips before he shrugged. 

 

“Wasabi,” he said as he averted his eyes away. Hiro guessed if his skin colour was lighter, he would’ve seen him blush. Hiro raised his eyebrows again at the name. 

 

“That’s your real name?” he asked, trying not to sound offensive because really, it sounded weird, yeah, but it was also unique. 

 

“No,” Wasabi said as he sighed defeated and looked at Hiro. “But whatever, it isn’t like anybody is gonna call me by my real name anyway.”

 

Hiro bit his inner cheek from commenting how cute Wasabi looked as he pouted. Okay, no, Hiro wasn’t going to sound like a creeper. “It’s unique,” he said. “I like it.”

 

Wasabi had that face again, that embarrassment and astonishment look, as he glanced at Hiro. With that, he smiled, this time, genuine and hesitant. “Thanks. People usually laugh or look at me weirdly when I introduce myself as Wasabi.”

 

“I can see why,” Hiro said and quickly added, “But I like it. No worries.”

 

“Thanks,” Wasabi said with a now proper relieved smile. 

 

Hiro then realised, he wasn’t so bad. As the class progressed, Hiro found out that even if everyone around him knew who he was, he was still being treated with respect and with the same level of attention as everyone else had and he—started to like it. Wasabi slapped his shoulder as they walked out of the lecture hall. Hiro looked at him as he rubbed his shoulder. 

 

“Sorry, I always wanted to try that,” Wasabi said. Hiro couldn’t help but to burst out laughing at that and Wasabi only looked progressively embarrassed. Just when Wasabi looked like he was going to run away, Hiro shook his head and placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. 

 

“No worries,” Hiro said. “If you want to try a bro pat, just don’t do it so harshly next time.”

 

Wasabi calmed down and simply cracked a smile of his own. “I’ll try not to.”

 

And Hiro realised, this was his first friend here. He could get used to this after all. 

 

***

 

There wasn’t any paparazzi swarming him, though that didn’t mean he wasn’t being recognised from right to left now. He wished it would stop, but there was no controlling the media, and soon, he realised when Gordon called him while he was on his class break, that some of the celebrity magazine companies found out where he was. 

 

“Ah, great,” Hiro said dryly as he sighed and looked at his sandwich. The university’s cafeteria was quiet since it was past lunch hours. It was a calming place to be at this hour, just to avoid people’s stares and whispers. “Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

 

“I was rather hoping later,” Gordon said, drier than Hiro’s response. The young ex-actor simply smiled at that. “I’ll try and make them think it was a false alarm, but there’s only so much I can do before the paparazzi find you.”

 

Hiro cringed at that thought and sighed loudly. “Like they had anything better to do. I’ll just get a restraining order.”

 

“That didn’t help much, remember,” Gordon said, jogging his memory to the last time he had a restraining order on this journalist. It didn’t end well because even with the restraining order, the journalist found a way to get near him. God, he hated the cameras and their obnoxious questions. 

 

“I can almost imagine what they’re going to ask,” Hiro said bitterly, his heart lurching painfully. 

 

“Why did you want to start studying now anyway?” Gordon asked, his tone curious. “It’s a pretty bad time to start, you know.”

 

“Just wanted to learn,” Hiro said. “I have to do it sooner or later, so I chose to get this over with and do it now.”

 

“You’re one bold kid,” Gordon said. 

 

“And a brat?” Hiro teased and Gordon simply laughed. 

 

“No doubt about it.”

 

***

 

Hiro decided to revel in this calmness before the storm hits. He knew that the moment the tabloids started to write about how they had ‘found’ the young missing actor, things weren’t going to be calm. Hiro guessed he had to go through this one more time before he could finally leave all of this behind. 

 

Cass didn’t like it when he told her about this predicament but she simply nodded, knowing herself that this was bound to happen. The young ex-actor was in the lab today, working on the coding to get Baymax a body. “You’re gonna be a marshmallow, buddy,” Hiro said with a teasing tone. 

 

“Marshmallows?” Baymax asked. 

 

“Yeah, white, cuddly, cute,” Hiro said. “Would you like that?”

 

“Is this for a body? A body for me?” Baymax asked, sounding curious. 

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said, replying with a smile. “So, tell me, you wanna be humanoid—no, being humanoid won’t probably work.”

 

“Why not?” Baymax continued to prod. 

 

“Because,” Hiro started before he sighed. “Because then you’ll be too handsome, or too cute, unless you want to be a girl, then you’ll be too pretty—and you’ll end up being an attraction instead of a real nurse-bot. So, yeah, no. You’re going to be a marshmallow.”

 

“Oh,” Baymax said. “Yes, I can see that becoming a problem. Would you mind if I drew out the schematics of my looks based off the marshmallow model?”

 

“Go ahead,” Hiro said as he continued to code. “The more ideas, the better. Just imagine, you can finally get to have a body. Isn’t that cool?”

 

“It does have a certain appeal to it,” Baymax said in what Hiro guessed in his pleased tone. Just as he was about to continue coding, his stomach started to grumble loudly, alerting him that he was done for the day if he didn’t get something to eat. He sighed loudly and annoyed as he stood up from his chair, stretching himself. 

 

“I’m going out to buy something to eat, Baymax,” Hiro said as he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulders. “See ya in a bit, buddy.”

 

“See you soon, Hiro,” Baymax said as Hiro walked out of the lab, the background darkening as he walked onto the sunlit pavement. He wore his sunglasses as he took in a deep breath. He pulled out his car keys, well, more like his aunt’s since now they only owned one car. 

 

Just as he was about to take a step forward, a hand landed on his shoulder, turning him around harshly.He stumbled a few feet from the harsh turn and immediately took off his sunglasses, irritation flared in him at the indignant move to touch him. “What the fuck—”

 

But the words died in his mouth when he realised who it was, standing in front of him. His mind blanked and his mouth went dry. He straightened himself and took a step back, the hand on his shoulder dropped. Those familiar brown eyes stared right back at him, with the same level of shock. 

 

“Hiro?”

 

Oh, what the fuck. 

 

Hiro felt his heart beat picking up pace as he took another step back. His brain started to work again and without even acknowledging the person in streak of fear and panic, he rushed to the car and got in. He quickly drove off, not even sparing another glance at the person, who was standing at the pavement and watching him leave. 

 

He was now chanting in his head to calm down, just to calm down but he couldn’t help but to panic even more at what he had witnessed. “Oh hell no,” he whispered under his breath as he kept on driving, unsure of where he was heading to. “Oh no, no, no, not now. Why now?”

 

As he stopped at a red light, he realised with a dull ache in his heart that this happened. This actually happened.

 

_Tadashi found him_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hah!...What? Okay, so I promised no more hurting poor Hiro butttt--I didn't technically promise I'll stop hurting him now, did I? //shotdead I'm sorry ahaha. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this new development and I will try and update as soon as I can! (yeah...that could also mean the next update is next month //shot) but! yeah. Until next time~! -Krystal


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine!
> 
> A/N: ...heh. Uhm. e.e Right. Lol, how many times have I apologised for late updates? Too many times, that's what! You guys should throw me off a cliff or something for leaving you guys hanging at that cliffhanger. (heh, get it? cliff, cliffhanger--uhm.) I don't think I'll be updating regularly properly since I have an important exam coming up, but don't worry, you guys, I ain't leaving this story hanging, kay? 
> 
> Just, sorry this is a bit short. I'm trying to get back into this story and I thought this is important for the plot development. Yeah, no, the relief for this pain is yet to come unfortunately uvu *cue the evil author song at the background* Anyways, thank you guys for the comments (to those I haven't replied yet, I shall reply to you lot soon!), kudos, and subscribing! And also to those who have bookmarked this story. I'll try and update as soon as I can~! Until next time~! -Krystal
> 
> _Can someone tell me please? Why I'm switching faster than the channels on TV? - ECHO (Gumi)_

 

Hiro abandoned his intention on buying something to eat for lunch, instead he drove back home, stumbling into the cafe. Cass was already with a customer, talking with a bright smile on her face. Hiro took a minute to calm down the short pants coming out from his mouth. But the panic was thrumming loudly through his veins still not allowing him to do so. 

 

His mind was reeling at what he had seen a moment ago. He felt numb, at the edges of his heart. “Hiro?” Abigail’s voice brought him back to the present, standing in front of him with a confused smile. “You okay there?”

 

“He’s back,” the words tumbled out of his mouth. The realisation finally settled into his mind and he looked at her, with his eyes wide. She raised her eyebrows, looking at him even more confused. 

 

“Okay,” she said slowly. “I’ll go and get your aunt.”

 

Hiro didn’t even wait for her to finish her sentence, he simply pushed past her rudely and ran through the cafe to get to the stairs. He climbed them and without a minute to spare, he walked into his bedroom, his heart at his throat. He grabbed his iPad which was lying still at the corner of the room and rummaged through the tabloid news, anything to indicate that they knew Tadashi was here. 

 

But there was no news about him being in town and for a second, Hiro almost convinced himself that he had imagined Tadashi, standing in front of him. He tossed the iPad away from him, feeling like the world was closing in. He sat on the cold hard ground, staring at his shaking fingers. Just then, Cass walked into his bedroom, looking slightly worried. 

 

“He’s back,” Hiro said as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Tadashi found me.”

 

“Oh,” Cass said slowly. She then sighed before she walked up to him and sat in front of him. “How?”

 

“I don’t know,” Hiro said. His voice was quiet and his heart tightened at the image of his face in his mind. “But he’s back, he saw me coming out of the lab and…why is he here?”

 

“I don’t know,” Cass said slowly, her voice careful. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’m not,” Hiro said definitely before he sighed, his shoulders slumped and the initial panic that thrummed through his veins like poison a moment ago slowly withered away. “I don’t want to…feel anymore.”

 

“Life is like this,” she said with a chuckle, even though it sounded dry in his ears. “You think you’re fine but the next minute, you’re back to square one.”

 

“Just when I thought I won’t have to see him anymore,” Hiro said gently. “I can’t outrun him.”

 

Cass remained quiet before she placed a hand on his head, playing with the strands of his hair. “One might say this is fate. But remember, you’re only hurting because you let yourself get hurt. Not even him could do something about it unless you do.”

 

Hiro looked at her, knowing that she was right. He could stop himself from feeling this way if he wanted to, if he really wished for it, he could forget about this feeling. But he was just so exhausted from having to wear those masks all the time, it was twisting him from inside until he felt like he couldn’t be himself anymore. This was supposed to be a fresh start for himself, for him to start off as a blank page.

 

He just kept quiet as Cass continued caressing his hair. 

 

***

 

Hiro locked himself up in his bedroom for the rest of the day, his mind still reeling from the mass of emotions just from seeing Tadashi after so long. It made his entire mood bitterer when he realised Tadashi was now with Honey, with her, romantically involved and there was nothing he could do about it. 

 

By next morning, he was half-recovered from the shock, from the pain, from the disappointment that he was never going to leave the man behind him in the past after all. Cass watched him cautiously as he entered the kitchen. He just wordlessly opened the refrigerator and grabbed the carton of milk. 

 

“Do you need any help with your cafe today?” Hiro asked suddenly, glancing at her from across his shoulder. Cass was chewing on her toast as she sat at the kitchen table, frowning a bit. 

 

“Depends on the crowd,” Cass said slowly. “Abigail could only come in after two today and it is Wednesday today. Another tough morning crowd.”

 

“I want to help,” Hiro said as he prepared himself a bowl of cereal, already leaning against the counter and began spooning cereal into his mouth. Cass looked at him in disapproval at his eating habits even if it didn’t deter Hiro from continuing eating the cereal in that manner. 

 

“Don’t you have class?” Cass asked. 

 

“Not today,” Hiro said casually with a shrug. “Can I?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Cass said with a sigh. “You don’t feel like going to the lab instead?” 

 

Hiro froze midway eating his cereal, his mind assaulted him with Tadashi’s face and his sudden appearance. He swallowed his cereal before he choked and glared at his aunt. Cass simply watched him with a weary smile. “No,” he said. _He might be there_ , was left lingering unsaid. 

 

But then again, it could be Tadashi wasn’t even looking for him in the first place. His heart throbbed at that thought. He quickly shoved any thoughts about the man to the back of his head, continuing with his quest to finish the cereal as fast as possible. “Okay,” Cass said finally, not asking anymore questions to Hiro’s relief. 

 

“Great,” Hiro said after he ate the final spoonful of cereal. “I’m done. I’m going to open the cafe up.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Cass said as she nodded and stood up. She pulled out the cafe keys from her pants pocket and handed it to him. “Have fun.”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes before he took the keys. With a smile at his aunt, he jogged down the stairs and headed to cafe. He unlocked the cafe and started with the coffee maker. That was honestly, the only thing he knew how to turn on, and maybe he knew how to make a few drinks. He didn’t bake, but he knew what each pastry was if the customers wanted to inquire more about it to him. 

 

It didn’t take long for the cafe to become busy just like how Cass had predicted. Hiro was relaxed throughout the entire process, his mind focusing solely on this task and nothing else. Cass came to his rescue a minute later after the crowd became slightly unbearable. His aunt simply patted his shoulder as he smiled at her appreciatively. 

 

“This is more than just busy, Aunt Cass,” Hiro said as he handed a to-go cup of coffee to the customer. 

 

“Good for business though,” Cass said before patting his shoulder again and left him to attend the kitchen. It took a while before the crowd slowly started to slow down and finally, there was just a short line at the counter and Hiro couldn’t help but to sigh in relief, feeling his knees about to give up from having to stand up for so long. 

 

He looked down to the cash register, registering the numbers and adding it to the cafe’s logs before he glanced up, ready for the next customer. He gave out a warm smile, only for the smile to freeze on his face. Hiro’s entire body went still and his heart lurched against his chest as if it wanted to escape out of his mouth. 

 

He took a gentle step back, his eyes wide as he contemplated this person in front of him, staring right back at him. “What—”

 

“So, it’s true then.”

 

“What the,” Hiro spluttered out before he took another few steps back. He blinked a few times, wondering if he was dreaming, but something in the way his mind was drawing blanks told him that no, he wasn’t dreaming after all. At the end, his throat went dry and all words vanished at the tip of his tongue. All that he could feel right now was this—emptiness. This…resentment. “What do you want?”

 

“I,” he began. _Tadashi_ began for a second before he decided to close his mouth. “We need to talk.”

 

Hiro shook his head. “Just…either order something or we’re done here,” Hiro said steely, his voice firm even though his mind was still drawing blanks in confusion. Just as he thought he was done, just as he _thought_ —but really, what did he hope for to happen anyway? 

 

“Coffee, black,” Tadashi said without hesitation. “Then, we’re going to talk.”

 

“Coffee, black,” Hiro repeated the order and went to prepare the drink. He handed the cup of coffee to Tadashi, not even bothering to look at him in the eyes. The money was handed to him on the counter and without another word, the taller actor walked away from him. Hiro glanced up to notice that Tadashi was just going to sit down on one of them empty chairs. 

 

He gritted his teeth as he went back to attend to the rest of the customers. It was another twenty minutes before he could finally relax for real. The rush-hour was over and his arms and legs ached. He glanced at where Tadashi was. Maybe if he could just escape—his mind stopped plotting for an escape route when Tadashi caught his eyes and his heart stopped beating for a second.

 

He cursed himself under his breath. “Hey, good crowd today, right?” Cass said as she came out of kitchen, her face seemed to have a few smudges of flour on it. Hiro looked at her and smiled, but it must’ve shown on his face that something was wrong because her smile faltered. “What’s wrong?”

 

Hiro licked his lips nervously before he took a step forward towards his aunt. “Uh, _he’s_ here?”

 

Cass raised her eyebrows, confusion filtering in her eyes. It didn’t take long for her to catch up to who he was referring to before she looked around the cafe and her eyes landed on the taller actor, who had got up and was walking towards them. Hiro felt panic washing into him, he was just ready to bolt. 

 

“You’re Tadashi,” Cass said as she stared at the taller actor once he was in front of them. Her voice was smooth and guarded, and Hiro was thankful she wasn’t showing any discomfort or—any emotions at all. Tadashi nodded before he glanced at Hiro, his own eyes calm and still of emotions before he looked back at his aunt. 

 

“I’m Tadashi,” he said. “And you are?”

 

“Cass,” Cass said as she smiled. “Cass Hamada. Hiro’s aunt.”

 

Hiro’s cheek flamed as Tadashi glanced at him again and raised his own eyebrows, something like amusement flashed in those eyes. “Oh, well, I’m Hiro’s—well, friend would be stretching it a bit,” the taller actor said, his voice seemed to be strained at the end of his sentence. Hiro flinched as he looked away, biting his bottom lip. 

 

“Ah, the unsettling rivalry between you two still hasn’t…settled, I see,” Cass said with a good-natured laugh. Hiro was just glad that his aunt was talking to Tadashi without spilling anything about his problems regarding the taller actor. 

 

“Not by an inch,” Tadashi said. “I would like to keep on talking to you, Miss Hamada, but I’m here for Hiro.”

 

“Oh?” Cass said before she shook her head. Hiro glanced at her before he looked down to his feet. 

 

“I’m leaving actually,” Hiro said, quickly. “I’m meeting Wasabi for some project so yeah.” 

 

“Great, I’ll follow you,” Tadashi said without hesitating. Shit, Hiro began to panic for real as he looked at his aunt and smiled, unsure. Then, he unlaced his apron and handed it to his aunt, before he plucked out the car keys from the counter bowl. He didn’t even spare Tadashi a glance, he simply walked past them to get out of there. 

 

His heart started hammering against his chest as he walked towards the car, hoping to leave. But before he could reach the car, a hand landed on his arm, halting him from moving. Hiro’s heart once again lurched horribly against his chest. He knew who it was, he could feel the familiar warmth sipping through his clothes to his skin and it was—uncomfortable and comforting at the same time. 

 

The conflicting emotions in his heart wasn’t helping with the steadily approaching panic attack he could feel in his veins. “Tadashi,” Hiro started as he tugged his arm from the man, looking at anywhere but the taller man. He knew he looked jittery, as if he couldn’t stand to be near with him and in some ways, he couldn’t deny that that was what he wanted to do. 

 

He wanted to stay away from him, he wanted to give space between them where he could breathe. And he couldn’t do that with Tadashi, following him everywhere he went. That was not how he envisioned his plans, his plans to move on from this horrible pain in his chest every time he had to look at the taller actor, happening. “We need to talk,” Tadashi said, his voice now cold and hard. 

 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Hiro said, licking his lips from the nervousness again. “I have nothing to say to you. There’s nothing I want to hear from you either. So, just…”

 

Tadashi remained quiet before he sighed loudly. “I…don’t understand you. Do you know how much harassment I’m getting from the media just because you left? You ran away without a word and everyone thinks I have something to do with it! And I’m getting a harder time because apparently, not many people like it that I’m with Honey now.”

 

The confirmation from Tadashi about his relationship with Honey, no matter how vague, managed to make Hiro feel like he was being pierced through his chest using a cold icicle. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to keep the panic at bay. “I need you to leave,” Hiro said. “I can’t see you right now. I…don’t want to see you ever.”

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi started.

 

“For God’s sakes, you’re the one who didn’t want to do anything with me, okay?” Hiro said, his voice cracked halfway as he looked at the man finally in the eyes. “I…We’re in public. We can’t do this, I can’t do this in public.”

 

“Then let’s go somewhere to talk,” Tadashi said. “You have a lot to explain to me. There’s—Look, I…need to tell you some things too, okay?”

 

Hiro shook his head as he ran his fingers through his hair, tugging some of the strands in his frustration. “Why can’t I outrun you?” he mumbled under his breath, low enough for only himself to hear. He then pointed to his car, looking at ground. “My car. My lab. If you want.”

 

“I thought you needed to see—your friend?” Tadashi said and Hiro shook his head.

 

“Just get in the car,” Hiro bit out as he walked to the car and got in. Tadashi followed him quietly and that was it, they let the silence linger in between them as Hiro drove to his lab. He felt jittery inside, and his emotions were spiking dangerously. He was scared he was either going to snap and yell at Tadashi or snap and end up crying—all over again. 

 

He could already feel the lingering exhaustion creeping back on him from the back of his mind. He parked his car once he spotted a suitable parking spot and got out. His heart was still hammering against his chest without slowing down. Hiro worried slightly that he was going to hyperventilate and end up having another panic attack. 

 

But then, he walked to his lab and those sudden sharp stabs of feelings he had, started to subside. Something about seeing the lab calmed him down and it was—comforting. He glanced at Tadashi, who was standing beside him, looking at the small building. He bit his bottom lip harshly for a second before he placed his hand on the wall, watching his hand being imprinted and scanned before the door opened. 

 

“What the,” Tadashi said under his breath as Hiro walked inside, the lights switched on and the main computer started to run. 

 

“Hiro,” Baymax spoke. “Ah, it seems you have brought a guest. Tadashi Takachiho?”

 

“What—Who?” Tadashi asked, startled. Hiro licked his suddenly dry lips, realising his mistake way too late. He had told Baymax about Tadashi, about his real predicament—and now, he had brought Tadashi here. He quickly walked to the main computer and switched Baymax’s voice off, muted him from inquiring or speaking any further. 

 

Hiro sighed gently under his breath before he turned around to look at the taller actor. The man still looked baffled, as he was staring right back at Hiro. He then pointed around the lab before he pointed at the ceiling. “Is that?”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said, his voice slow. “That’s Baymax. An…artificial intelligence.”

 

Tadashi’s eyes widened. “Huh,”

 

Hiro just shrugged, feeling the jitteriness returning. “Look, what do you want to tell me?”

 

Tadashi looked at Hiro before he seemed to regain his composure. “Why did you leave?”

 

Hiro blinked at the man before he frowned heavily. “That’s none of your business,” he said as he leaned against the main computer’s console, crossing his arms defensively. “And frankly, it’s my decision whether I want to leave or stay.”

 

Tadashi took a few steps closer to Hiro, his lips thinned at his response. “I’m not looking for an argument. I’m not even—I’m not saying you shouldn’t have left. You just—but the way you left, you left with a huge mess behind and I’m getting slashed up along the way!”

 

“Well, I’m sorry for that then,” Hiro said stiffly. “But there’s nothing I can do. If the media wanted to twirl around some stupid speculations about our non-existent break up to why I left, then so be it. In case you didn’t know, Tadashi, I was done with this whole—nonsense.”

 

Tadashi sighed gently under his breath. “Can…I know?”

 

“Know what?” Hiro asked after a minute when Tadashi didn’t continue with his line of question. He glanced at the man before he looked at the ground, his heart tugging at the already tauten strings even tighter. It was beginning to feel too painful, Hiro realised gently at the back of his head. He gripped his arms tighter, digging his nails into his skin, wincing at the pain. 

 

It gave him some clarity at least, burning imaginary holes into the floor with his gaze. 

 

“Why you left,” Tadashi continued after what seemed like a millennium of silence. 

 

Hiro dug his nails deeper into his skin, knowing now that he was bruising his arms silently, gritting his teeth along the way, his mind racing a thousand thoughts a minute to contemplate Tadashi’s question. “I thought I told you it’s none of your business.”

 

“I know,” Tadashi said. 

 

“Is that all?” Hiro finally asked, his voice sounded dry and strained. He dropped his hands to his side, looking at the man straight in the eyes. “Is that all you’re here for? To ask me why I left? To ask why I made you suffer along the way? Well, I’m sorry I did that. I didn't mean that to happen.”

 

Tadashi looked at him, as if he was scanning Hiro and the younger ex-actor hated feeling examined under those gaze. He glanced away to a point above Tadashi’s shoulder, his heart started to pick up pace at the feel of those eyes on him. He cursed himself for his pathetic emotions and cleared his throat. “I gotta go. Thanks for stopping by, I guess.”

 

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Tadashi said, halting Hiro from moving any further. The ex-actor froze, his mind blanked and his eyes widened as the sentence settled in his mind. He took in a sharp breath as he glanced at the man, his heart picking up pace. 

 

“What?” he asked, his voice hushed. His mind slowly started to rush through the memories, wondering if somewhere in between he had given hints to the man about how he truly felt. Tadashi only looked at him, a frown on his face and his eyebrows scrunched deeply. Hiro couldn’t read the actor, those brown eyes were cold and distant. 

 

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Tadashi repeated. “If seeing me again, hurt you.”

 

Hiro’s mouth went dry, the sudden touch of panic made him take a step back. He could feel his body growing cold. What? Did—Tadashi know? “I—”

 

“I’m sorry if seeing me again, made me hurt you even though I…still couldn’t figure out why,” Tadashi continued. “That’s what I wanted to tell you. That I’m sorry—that I…whatever it is that I have done to you, I’m sorry. I’ll…leave now.”

 

Hiro watched as the man left him, the lab door sliding behind him. Hiro took in a deep breath, the silence greeted him horribly and he slowly slumped down to the ground, his whole body shaking from the momentary panic.

 

Tadashi didn’t know.

 

He still thought that Hiro hated him. He still thought that he was hurting the ex-actor because he hated him. Hiro couldn’t help but to laugh, bitterly, brokenly, wondering at which point in his life he had become so pitiful. 

 

He rubbed his face, feeling like he was being suffocated from within inside, hating how he wore his feelings on his skin. He wished he could just turn back time, make himself believe that Tadashi was this jerk sent by the hells to torture him. 

 

He just wished he could wake up one day and not remember any of this hurt, this—love, affection for the only person he could never grasp onto. 

 

Tadashi had been so close to the truth, the actor only had to squint a bit closer and he would catch onto the truth. But at the same time, the actor kept on missing the obvious signs Hiro couldn’t help showing. It was so cruel, how the man decided to bring his hopes up before letting it crash. 

 

“Goddamnit,” Hiro muttered under his breath, taking in another deep breath. The plan was for Hiro to disappear, to leave, and to never meet Tadashi again, to never hear about him again. 

 

But he couldn’t seem to shake him off, no matter how hard he tried. 

 

***

 

Hiro couldn’t get rid of Tadashi’s defeated face from his mind. He couldn’t help but to feel the cold gaze piercing through him every time he closed his eyes. He wished he could just forget, but he quickly realised that he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. 

 

Pathetic, his mind whispered to him hauntingly. He sighed gently under his breath, packing his things. The lecture didn’t intrigue him, couldn’t keep him focused long enough to forget about this soft pain in his chest. He bit his bottom lip as he took his bag and left the lecture hall. 

 

His mind was hazy and his whole body felt weak. He felt worse, to be honest, than he did when he was in the entertainment industry. Even with this freedom in his hands, he couldn’t stop himself from growing restless, all because of the actor. 

 

He closed his eyes just for a second before he opened them up, staring at the ground as he walked down the university hallway. “Hiro!”

 

The ex-actor stopped walking as he turned around, noticing it was Wasabi, jogging down the hallway to get to him. Hiro couldn’t help but to smile at him, waving at the man. 

 

“Hey,” he said. “What’s up?”

 

Wasabi smiled cautiously as he shrugged, finally standing in front of Hiro. “I just finished with my lecture. I thought you might like to get something to eat.”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said with a chuckle, noting that his stomach had been empty since morning. Huh, he should really fix that habit of skipping lunch and important meals soon. He licked his lips before he shrugged at Wasabi. “I guess I’m hungry.”

 

“Me too,” Wasabi said with a brighter smile. Hiro found his friendship with Wasabi entertaining and calming at the same time. Wasabi was shy, probably timid as well, always cautious with his surrounding but at the same time, he was also talkative, easily excited and Hiro found that he liked the personality. 

 

It reminded him that some people still had things to get excited about and Hiro liked how Wasabi seem to pick up Hiro’s personality easily. He reminded Hiro of Gogo. They walked out of the university, deciding to walk a bit further to the sandwich shop near their university. 

 

“Have you started on the assignment yet?” Wasabi asked as they entered the sandwich shop. Hiro went through his mind to pin point which assignment Wasabi was referring to and promptly froze when he realised which one it was. Ah damn, the deadline was close for that one and he hadn’t even started on it yet. 

 

He sighed heavily as Wasabi glanced at him and gave him a sympathetic smile. Hiro rolled his eyes before he patted Wasabi’s shoulder. “I’ll just do it soon,” he said. 

 

“We have to submit it next week, Hiro,” Wasabi said as a tiny frown tugged his lips. 

 

“I’ll make it,” Hiro said. “Don’t worry, Wasabi.”

 

Wasabi only gave him another smile before they found an empty spot to sit. They talked for a while, about the assignments, about what they wanted to do after this, about what their plans in the future were and it was—normal. Hiro absorbed this normalcy like he desperately needed it, and for a while, he was calm. 

 

But the calmness was shattered after a few seconds when Wasabi took in a sharp breath as he stared right above Hiro’s shoulders. The ex-actor furrowed his eyebrows before he glanced over his shoulders to what Wasabi was staring at—only to freeze when he realised he was looking at—“Tadashi?”

 

Hiro winced at the name and looked away, immediately looking at his hands. Oh god, what the hell was he doing here? Tadashi was supposed to leave! Hiro thought he had made everything clear, had made it clear that he didn’t want the man here. “Hiro, it’s Tadashi! Tadashi Takachiho!” Wasabi whispered harshly, looking at the ex-actor. 

 

His shoulders rounded as he gulped, looking at Wasabi and gave him a smile, that wasn’t really convincing anybody. Wasabi’s face softened. “Sorry, Hiro. I mean—why is he here?”

 

“I don’t know,” Hiro said as he licked his lips, wondering the same thing. 

 

“Oh damn,” Wasabi started, his eyes widening. Hiro closed his eyes tight when he heard footsteps reaching their table. “Uhm,” Wasabi finally said, sounding nervous and timid, like how he sounded when Hiro met him. 

 

The ex-actor knew immediately that he was there, standing in front of them. Hiro opened his eyes, looking at Wasabi before he looked at Tadashi, who had his hands in his pockets and an eyebrow raised. “Hey,” he said, looking at Hiro before he looked at Wasabi. The actor then smiled, bright and dazzling and Hiro raised his eyebrows, confusion welling up in his chest. 

 

What was Tadashi doing? For a second he thought that maybe he was dreaming. Could this be? Was this a dream? He had an urge to pinch his arm but refrained from doing so, refusing to act like some idiot. Wasabi spluttered out something incorrigible before he stood up, his face looked panicked and nervous. “H—Hi!” he said and Hiro couldn’t help but to smile to himself at the display. 

 

Tadashi glanced at him before he looked back at Wasabi, raising his eyebrows before he grinned. “I’m Tadashi, Tadashi—”

 

“Takachiho!” Wasabi said and then closed his mouth, looking embarrassed. Tadashi simply chuckled before he nodded and stretched out his hand for a shake. Wasabi immediately looked at the hand and started to pale, as if the hand itself was about to make him faint. 

 

Hiro took pity on Wasabi, even though he was trying not to laugh at his friend, and looked at Tadashi, feeling the light mood dampening a bit. “Wasabi,” he said, catching both of their attentions. Tadashi dropped his hand and looked at Hiro, his eyes were carefully blank. “His name is Wasabi. He’s my friend.”

 

“Y—yeah,” Wasabi said as he gave himself a self-depreciating laugh. Wasabi slowly sat down and looked at the table, and Hiro was sure he was blushing. Tadashi nodded before he looked back at Wasabi. 

 

“Wasabi, huh?” he said, catching the dark-skinned male’s attention. “That’s a cool name.”

 

“Nickname actually,” Wasabi said, slightly lighting up. “Nobody can really pronounce my real name.”

 

“Ah,” Tadashi said with an appreciative smile. “You’re Hiro’s friend, huh?” 

 

Wasabi tilted his head a bit before he glanced at the ex-actor. He smiled before he stood up again, grabbing his things. Hiro watched him confused slightly before he caught the gleam in those eyes and frowned. “Where are you going?” Hiro asked, narrowing his eyes but Wasabi only continued to take his bag and looked at Tadashi, ignoring Hiro. 

 

“Yeah, I’m his friend,” Wasabi said, less nervous. “I have somewhere to be actually,” Wasabi continued, addressing Hiro but the ex-actor felt like his friend was lying. “I’ll talk to you soon, Hiro. It’s n—nice to meet you, uhm, Takachiho?”

 

“Tadashi,” Tadashi corrected him with a light shrug. “Hope we meet again, then.”

 

“Y—yeah!” Wasabi said with another smile before he gave Hiro a nod and left them alone. Hiro felt his shoulders tensing almost immediately when Tadashi proceeded to take a seat in front of him. Hiro gritted his teeth at his friend’s disappearance and decided he should leave too. 

 

He was about to stand up when Tadashi grabbed his wrist from across the table and held him down from getting up. Hiro immediately sharpened his eyes at the actor and tried to tug his wrist out of the hold. “What are you doing?” Hiro asked harshly. “Let me go.”

 

Tadashi simply frowned before he tightened the grip around the wrist. “We need to talk.”

 

Hiro remained quiet as he looked at the man. He then shook his head, trying to tug his wrist again only for Tadashi to keep the grip tight. “Tadashi,” Hiro hissed. “What else do you want to talk about? I thought we were done here. Why the hell are you even around here?”

 

Tadashi simply looked at him before he shook his head. “I…,” he started before he sighed. “I won’t leave you.”

 

Hiro froze immediately at the words, his eyes widening and his heart beating loudly against his chest. “What?”

 

“I won’t leave you,” Tadashi said, as the grip around his wrist tightened a fraction more. It actually made Hiro wince but he didn’t try to tug his wrist away. Instead, he was transfixed with the determination in those brown eyes—aimed at him…and Hiro realised with a thundering thought; it was for him. He felt his mouth going dry and unsure of what to do at the moment. 

 

What did Tadashi meant? 

 

What was Tadashi doing? 

 

Then a painful thought crossed his mind, was Tadashi trying to hurt him even more? He looked away from Tadashi’s sharp gaze to the hand circling his wrist. “Why are you doing this to me?” Hiro asked quietly as he closed his eyes. “Tadashi, why couldn’t you leave me alone?”

 

“I don’t like it, Hiro,” Tadashi said finally, the grip loosened and left his wrist. His wrist suddenly felt cold and Hiro found that he hated that feeling. He took his wrist back and rubbed it, licking his lips. He opened his eyes and took in a deep breath. “I don’t like not knowing what I’m doing—to hurt you. Do you…What did I do to make you hate me so much?”

 

Hiro felt his heart squeezing painfully in his chest. If only Tadashi knew the truth, maybe he wouldn’t actually bother Hiro like this. If he knew the truth—maybe Tadashi might hate him instead. That thought made him felt clammy inside. He wanted Tadashi to look at him, look at him as he was, not as someone he had to know, but as someone he could like. 

 

But that was all wishful thinking and he was only going to hurt himself even more if he didn’t make Tadashi leave him. He had to. This was the only way he could ever be able to breathe again. “I—”

 

“Truth,” Tadashi said, cutting him off. Hiro immediately looked at him, and he stopped breathing for a second when he saw the hurt in those eyes. “I want the truth, Hiro. I don't want you to act, to make something up to drive me away. You—I want the truth.”

 

Hiro stood up immediately, panic started to make way through his chest when he realised Tadashi was close to the truth, he was just skirting around it and it wasn’t going to be long before he would break Hiro from this case that held his true feelings for the man. “What the—”

 

Tadashi stood up as well, calm and collected even though his eyes were telling a different story. “The truth. I want to know why you ran away, I want to know why you hate me—why I make you feel like you can’t breathe. I…I can’t figure it out. And…even if I did—I want to hear you say it.”

 

Hiro knew then that Tadashi seemed to have figured something out, something that Hiro wasn’t ready to admit to the world. He took a step back from Tadashi, looking at him, frightened. For the first time in his life ever since his parents died, he was frightened. 

 

“I,” Hiro started but he knew that Tadashi was figuring one thing to the next. The ex-actor balled his hands into fists and shook his head. “Stop. Just…stop. You’re the one who didn’t want anything to do with me. I—I can’t do this with you. Why are you even here?”

 

“I didn’t think you’d leave,” Tadashi said, his voice now low and soft, catching Hiro off guard. “I didn’t think—you’d just leave.” Hiro didn’t know how to respond to that, instead he was more than confused. He was slightly baffled at Tadashi’s reaction. He looked away from the actor and noticed that they were still in a public place. He took another step back before he shook his head. 

 

“I…,” Hiro trailed off, his mind slowly becoming messy. He knew he should tell Tadashi that they were done, that he didn’t want to speak to the actor anymore. But what came out of his mouth was a short, “Not here,” and he turned around and walked away. 

 

He heard Tadashi following him, and Hiro had to keep his jitters all wrapped up. Panic was bubbling in his chest, realising that he wasn’t about to escape this talk unscathed. Tadashi didn’t hesitate to touch Hiro’s right wrist again, holding it tight in his grasp, jolting the ex-actor from his thoughts. His face reddened immediately as he looked at the man’s hand circling his wrist. 

 

“What—”

 

“My car,” Tadashi said as he gently tugged Hiro to his car. Hiro recognised the car immediately. How could he not? He had gotten in that car so many times, he knew exactly how the leather seats felt to how smooth the engine sounded when it was driving on the road. He didn’t know why he didn’t tug his hand off from the grip, he was just confused in so many ways. He got in the car, feeling tense. 

 

Tadashi started driving and they didn’t speak. Hiro felt the silence settling over them heavily. It wasn’tcomfortable to just sit here and not knowing what was about to happen. “Where are we going?” Hiro asked, his voice low and unsure. Tadashi glanced at him before he shrugged. 

 

“Anywhere,” Tadashi said. “Somewhere we can talk, I guess.”

 

Hiro bit his bottom lip before he ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. “Just…there’s a park ten minutes from here. You can park the car—and we can talk in here.”

 

Tadashi nodded and did as he was told, not even hesitating. Hiro frowned deeply once Tadashi parked his car near the park, leaning against the leather seat with a sigh. “So?” Hiro asked, clutching on his bag tighter, glaring at the actor, who was already taking off his seatbelt to face Hiro better. 

 

“I,” Tadashi started. “I was—upset.”

 

Hiro furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the man in the eyes. “Upset?”

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said slowly. “I was upset—that I couldn't seem to get you. We’ve known each other for a long time, Hiro, and sure, we only started being friends, or trying to anyway, a few months back but—it meant a lot to me.”

 

“I just,” Hiro started, feeling his heart starting to pound against his chest, the warmth spreading in him fast. His cheeks warmed from Tadashi’s words and he couldn’t help but to feel hopeful, even if he knew that he shouldn’t be. “I tried being friends with you. You were the one who kept on reminding me every second that we’re—I didn’t see how you really wanted to know me.”

 

“And that’s why you left?” Tadashi asked, his voice quiet. Hiro closed his eyes tight, rubbing his face as he shook his head. 

 

“It isn’t about you,” Hiro said, though he knew he was lying partially. “I—The reason why I became an actor, Tadashi, was because I thought it would help me forget about this…this emptiness in my chest, okay?”

 

He opened his eyes and blinked, looking at his hands as he placed them on his lap. “I—I lost my parents when I was young, and this place, this city is the city where they were recognised for what they did. I was connected to this place and ever since my parents died, I can’t stand to be here. I didn’t have friends, Tadashi. My parents were everything to me. They were my heroes. And acting seems so much easier, to act like I don’t hurt every time I see an article written about them in those first few months of their deaths. To act like I’m doing fine, smiling, laughing, and for once, I believed that I was alright.”

 

Tadashi respectfully remained quiet. But Hiro knew he was looking at him with a guarded expression on his face. Hiro knew that Tadashi was staring at him, wondering, waiting for something to give. “That’s why I act. Acting makes me think that I’m really going to be fine. You? You were just an anomaly to that plan and at first, you were an anomaly that I hated. But you intrigued me too at the same time and then suddenly, we were forced to act like we love each other and you can imagine how that turned out.”

 

Hiro could definitely imagine how that turned out. He was living this nightmare, wasn’t he? He glanced at the man finally, looking at him in the eyes. “I don’t get attached to people, Tadashi, not after I knew how it felt to lose somebody you loved. The more I grow up, the more—I’m scared, you can say, to let people in and then to find out, they don’t really care about you the way you care about them.”

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi started. “You know I would never—I would never hurt you like that.” After a while, he added, timidly, “Am I?”

 

“Yes?” Hiro said and flinched when he saw how Tadashi’s face fell. “No? I don’t know. What I feel for you, it’s not easy to be just friends with you, okay?”

 

Then, Hiro realised what he said and froze. His eyes widened and he gasped silently. Oh…damn. He looked at Tadashi and found the man realising what he said and tensed. Tadashi’s eyes widened a bit before he frowned. “Hiro?…What does that…mean?”

 

Hiro bit his bottom lip, cursing himself harshly in his head. Of course Tadashi would notice. “I,” Hiro started but the words failed him as always. His heart started to beat heavily against his chest and his mind was once again retreating back to that safe empty corner. His fingers started to tremble gently. Realising this, he clenched his hands tight on his lap. “I can’t. Just leave it at that, I can’t be friends with you.”

 

Tadashi remained quiet before he huffed out his breath. Hiro bit his bottom lip before he glanced at the taller actor. “Why do you care so much?”

 

Tadashi looked at him, contemplating on his question before he quirked his lips upwards, even if his smile came off bitter. “I saw who you really were and liked it, I guess.”

 

Hiro scrunched his eyebrows, confusion taking over. “The real me?”

 

“You intrigued me, I don’t know,” Tadashi said slowly. “I felt like maybe I could relate to you.” With that, he gently touched his neck where Hiro noticed a silver necklace chain hanging. Tadashi pulled the necklace properly so that he could show Hiro closely. “You see this? It was left by my parents.” 

 

Hiro knew that it was Tadashi’s name in Japanese, his real last name. He looked back at the actor, frowning a bit. “I know that the necklace is important to you.”

 

“It was the last thing I got before my parents died,” Tadashi said. “Typical car crash. It wasn’t anything big, just a simple car crash that took my parents’ lives. And they weren’t rich, they had nothing much for me to inherit but this necklace. This was literally the only thing they could afford to leave for me.”

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro started, feeling a lump forming in his throat. His heart constricted at the story. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m not trying to sound like that’s the reason we should be friends,” Tadashi said as he tucked his necklace back under the collar of his shirt, licking his lips. “I’m just saying that we might not be that different. I know how it feels to become all alone at a young age. The only difference is, you have somebody to fall back to, like your aunt, when that happened. I literally had no one else.”

 

Hiro looked away, feeling the sadness washing into him. He rubbed his face before he nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I…I’m sorry you had to go through that, Tadashi.”

 

“I’m sorry too,” Tadashi said. “Even if we don’t end up as friends after today, I just—I just wanted to apologise, I guess. I won’t force you into this friendship anymore, just—you abruptly left and I thought for a while that maybe you really did hate me. You really were tortured with the fact that we might be in close proximity.”

 

“I don’t,” Hiro said as he looked at Tadashi in the eyes. “You have to understand this. I—I don’t hate you, Tadashi. I just…”

 

“You’re not going to tell me how I’m hurting you, are you?” Tadashi asked finally. 

 

Hiro bit his bottom lip, feeling his heart thumping loudly against his chest. His mind had been whirling and stumbling through every fact. His self-restraint was dying as he continued to stay in this car longer. He closed his eyes as he took in a deep breath. The pain that suddenly flared in his heart had him biting back the tears in his eyes. 

 

“I,” Hiro started, his voice trembled slightly as he shook his head. “You don’t understand. You won’t ever understand. Even,” Hiro said as he opened his eyes and stared at his lap. “Even if I explain it to you, you won’t understand. You won’t heal me. I can’t tell you, that’s why I can’t tell you.”

 

There was silence in the air, thick silence before Hiro glanced at the taller actor, who was looking away from Hiro, staring at the steering wheel. “There’s,” Tadashi started. “I just don’t get it.”

 

“I don’t think I want you to get it,” Hiro mumbled under his breath. “I gotta go. If that’s all, Tadashi. If you came all this way just for this, I’m sorry you wasted your time.”

 

Tadashi only shook his head before he sighed, leaning his body against his chair even more before he looked at Hiro. “I wish we started off differently,” Tadashi said before he touched the steering wheel. “I’m sorry I couldn’t heal you.”

 

Hiro felt his heart squeezing tightly as he gave Tadashi a fleeting smile. “I’m sorry too.” With that, Hiro took off his seatbelt, took his bag and opened the car door. Just as he was about to get out, a hand circled around his wrist and held him down. He looked over his shoulder, knowing that Tadashi was touching him. 

 

“Take care,” Tadashi said. Hiro simply took his hand away from the grip gently and nodded, not willing himself to look at Tadashi one last time.

 

“You too,” Hiro said. “Good luck.”

 

With that, he got out of the car and closed the door. He turned his back against the car and started to walk away. His heart started thump loudly, each step making him feel like he couldn’t breathe. The tears that gathered in his eyes started to slip past his eyes down his cheeks. He knew that this was really going to be the end of it, for good. 

 

He stopped walking for a while, staring at the pavement, his lips curling to himself in self-depreciation. Hiro ran his shaky hands through his bangs, messing up his lock of hair along the way. He knew that this was going to hurt even more later, when he would curl up in his bed and think of nothing at night. He knew that his mind would go back to Tadashi again. 

 

To these last words, to those last words exchanged between them. It only sharpened the pain and bitterness in his heart and mind. 

 

He looked up to the sky, that was still blue and bright unlike his turmoil inside. Was it really going to be okay?

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine!  
> A/N: ............. 
> 
> Uhm. 
> 
> Hi???????
> 
> Yeah, okay, yes, yes, yes, I know, 'IT'S BEEN SO LONG. WTF WHERE WERE YOU!' and the answer to that question is! 'NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX, BUDDY.' //shotdead Kidding! I was actually really busy and I still am actually! So, that's why I didn't have time to really sit down and write. I did manage to snag some time for this chapter after receiving lots of messages from you guys to 'UPDATE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE' //notreallyheheheyouguyswereniceandunderstanding// so, here it is! It's long overdue and I'm sorry for keeping you guys at the edge of your seats for a very long time. Again, real life takes the cake. 
> 
> I'll try and update as soon as I can! But for now, here's the next chapter! I don't know if it's an okay chapter, but I tried my best and what not. Haha, enjoy! Anyways, thank you guys for those who commented, subscribed, gave this story kudos and bookmarked this story! Until next time~! -Krystal

 

Hiro felt like his skin was itching from within. He wanted to scratch the itch but he was too scared that it would hurt. Everything hurts, from his head to his heart. The area around his eyes felt heavy too, possibly a bit too strained from the tears. It had been three hours since he had the talk with Tadashi, a talk that made him realise that this was it. 

 

They were done for good. There was nothing now, nothing in between them that could pull them back together again. It was time for Hiro to let all of this pain go, to let his heart soar from its cage, to just be able to breathe again. 

 

It was funny how things have fallen into place like this, even if those places weren’t where Hiro wanted to be. He walked back to the cafe, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. He knew that he couldn’t expect anything from Tadashi. The man was never going to know the truth and for a second, Hiro did recognise the short thrill of fear running through him at the thought that Tadashi might’ve figured something out. 

 

But he would deny it to his dying breath if the day ever came. 

 

Tadashi was in love with Honey. He was currently in a relationship with her, with someone he wanted to be with. Hiro wouldn’t let something that Tadashi loved—made him happy become ruined just because Hiro thought he needed his feelings to be justified. 

 

There was nothing fair in this world, especially when it came to this feeling in his chest for the taller actor. 

 

He bit his bottom lip as he walked into the cafe, greeted almost immediately by the soft scent of pastries and the slightly bitter smell of coffee in the air. Cass was behind the counter, smiling at one of the customers before she waved them off. 

 

“Hey!” Cass said as her eyes landed on Hiro. The smile on her face froze and dropped when she took in how Hiro looked. The ex-actor winced in guilt, realising that he had been making his aunt lose her smile a lot lately. “Hiro,” she started but before she could get a word out, Hiro looked at her and smiled brightly. 

 

He pulled a mask over his face, masking his hurt and pain by this smile on his face. He had done this plenty of times before, so it shouldn’t be hard to do it now. However, the guilt only intensified when he saw how his aunt looked a bit sad at the smile. 

 

“I’m going to my room,” Hiro quickly said, looking away from her. “Kinda tired.”

 

“Oh,” Cass said slowly. Hiro gave her a quick smile once more before he hurried away from her, up the stairs and into his bedroom. He closed the door shut and took in a deep breath. He dropped his bag next to him before he slid to the floor, sitting down and staring right ahead at the dark room. 

 

“What’s wrong with me,” he whispered to himself, feeling more than exhausted. If he could turn back time, if he could make himself stop from realising that he was in love with Tadashi, he would. He would do anything in his power to make sure he never went near this type of pain. He hated this, he hated his heart and he hated how he couldn’t make up its mind whether he should latch on Tadashi or let him go. 

 

It was painfully obvious though. The answer was painfully obvious. 

 

So, why wasn’t he doing just that?

 

Why wasn’t he letting the man go? 

 

***

 

It was a week since Hiro last saw Tadashi. There was no sign of the man in this city anymore and it took the ex-actor another two more days to realise that the man had left. He had left Hiro alone, just like how Hiro asked him to. He didn’t blame Tadashi, he knew he asked for this. He knew he had asked for this solitude, this space between them. 

 

He sighed gently under his breath as he walked down the university’s hallway, just walking, heading nowhere particular at the moment. He couldn’t help but to think what would happen if he had confessed. What if he had met Tadashi in a different way? What if instead of snark as first greeting, what if instead of the sudden overwhelming dislike for the man, what if he had tried for nice?

 

What if he had looked at Tadashi and smiled? 

 

Would things had been different now? Hiro faltered in his steps, biting his bottom lip. Probably, he said gently in his head. Probably things indeed would’ve been different. 

 

Maybe, Hiro wouldn’t have even fallen for the man. He fidgeted at where he stood before he shook his head. It was time to move on. He wanted closure, and he got it. It was time to leave everything else behind. He needed to do this in order to be able to be truly happy again. 

 

He took in a deep breath, deciding there and then that this was for the best. He clenched his fists and took another step forward, walking away, determination in his steps. Time would heal this scar inside of him and one day, he might even be able to look back and smile at the memories, despite how painful it had been and how short it was. 

 

When he stepped out of the university, the outside world greeted him with a cold wind, sweeping through his face and for a minute, he felt sweet relief washing into him. He wondered, as he touched his chest, if he was at least a step closer to becoming okay again. 

 

Soon, soon it would be alright. 

 

 

***3 Years Later…***

 

 

He glanced at the words on the screen before he looked back to the equations lying on his table, staring right back at him. “This should work,” he mumbled to himself as he ran his fingers through his hair. It had to work, he told himself before he walked away from the table to the main computer, already initiating the process. 

 

The whole laboratory started to whirl into life before quietening down again. It took a few seconds before the words flashed on the main screen in big, bold, green letters saying ‘SUCCESSFULLY INSTALLED’ .

 

Hiro grinned brightly before he walked away from the computer, heading to the small staircase that led to small floor. He took in a deep breath as he reached the floor, eyeing at the white fluffy bot standing in the middle. 

 

It was motionless, but not for long, Hiro was sure of it. He was about to finally do this, he was about to finally finish one of the long-awaited projects that his parents had left behind. His heart clenched tightly in his chest as he saw the vision of his late parents brought to life, right in front of his eyes, now standing in front of him. 

 

It took a lot of trials and failures for him to get to this point. He was ready for this now. He was ready to turn this on. “Okay,” Hiro said, taking in another deep breath. “This is going to work. Test—forty-eight? Yeah, that sounds right. Okay, test number forty-eight. If this works, that’ll be great.”

 

He took a few steps forward, looking at the fluffy-marshmallow like body. It looked almost like Baymax from the movie he had acted in, with some changes here and there. Instead of becoming flat when it ran out of battery, it would just shut down immediately. It wouldn’t work like a medical bot like how he wanted it to work, just for now, more like his personal friend. 

 

Just someone who could care for him when he was hurt or so. A friend he could talk to when he was feeling lonely from long days. He smiled to himself before he took one final step forward.

 

“Okay, Baymax,” he started. “Let’s do this. Three, two, one. Baymax, start up.”

 

It took a few seconds before the body started to twitch, wiring up. Hiro instinctively took a step backwards when the body started to move, the black beads for eyes becoming light grey. The head started to shake a bit, as if it was testing itself out. What Hiro wanted now was to see if Baymax was truly in the body or if it was just a pre-programmed shell that was working.

 

“Baymax?” Hiro said. “You in there?”

 

A few seconds of silence passed and Hiro began to think that maybe this was another failed attempt when Baymax took a step forward. Hiro jumped at the movement, taking another step backwards in slight hope and fear—fear at the fact that maybe it wasn’t Baymax in there; maybe it could be a rogue virus. He licked his lips nervously when still there was no response from the body. 

 

“Baymax?”

 

“It seems that this body is functional, Hiro,” Baymax said as it finally looked at Hiro. The hope turned into happiness and the fear diminished as he grinned widely. 

 

“Baymax!” Hiro said, taking the steps forward again before wrapping himself around the soft body, hugging it tight. “I’ve done it! You’re here!” 

 

A hand slowly patted his back, gently and cautiously. “Yes, it seems so,” Baymax said, his voice sounded amused. Hiro chuckled before he let Baymax go, looking at the bot. He couldn’t contain his grin, just letting it to stretch on his face and ache his cheeks. 

 

He just couldn’t believe it. He had finally done it! He had finally created a body for Baymax. An idea was now a reality. A vision was now real. He could touch it, he could feel it and he hadn’t felt this surge of happiness and accomplishment in a long time. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Hiro asked. “Is there anything missing? Anything I need to check? Anything I need to correct?”

 

Baymax tilted its head to the right a bit before it said, “No, I do not think so. It feels like everything is working as it should be. Hiro, you have done it.” After a second, it added, “Thank you.”

 

Hiro just laughed brightly before he patted Baymax on the arm. “You dork, you’re welcome.”

 

Just then his smartphone rang, cutting the quiet contemplation. He quickly jogged down the stairs and headed to his phone which was near the main computer’s keyboard. “Hello?” Hiro answered his phone with a light tone. 

 

“My, someone’s happy,” Gogo’s voice filtered in, amused. Hiro chuckled before he bit down his bottom lip. 

 

“You have no idea,” Hiro said. 

 

“Oh, do tell,” Gogo said, a bit curious now. Hiro laughed again before he cleared his throat. 

 

“No,” he said playfully. “You can come and see it for yourself.”

 

It was Gogo’s turn to laugh and Hiro raised his eyebrows at the reaction. “Well, why don’t I come and see what had gotten you so happy now?”

 

Hiro blinked in slight confusion before he said, “What?”

 

“I’m in San Fransokyo, Hiro,” she said, her voice finally revealing her poorly concealed excitement that Hiro hadn’t managed to catch due to his own occupying his mind. “There’s this private party and well, yeah, here I am.”

 

“Gogo,” Hiro said slowly. “You’re here?”

 

“Yeah?” Gogo said. “Surprise?”

 

“Gogo!” Hiro started. “That’s great! Meet me and I can’t wait to show you my lab.”

 

Gogo laughed again. “Right, so where should we meet?”

 

“What now?” Hiro asked. 

 

“Yeah, I was here since yesterday evening. Sorry, I didn’t really have time to call you until now.” Gogo sounded apologetic but Hiro simply shrugged it off, knowing how busy Gogo could be. 

 

“It’s alright. Why don’t we meet at this shop near my lab, I think it’s a small book cafe?” Hiro said, unsure of whether it truly was a book cafe. He rarely went to any cafes that weren’t his aunt’s. But the shop was the closest to his lab and he could save time bringing her here later. 

 

“Right, address please and I’ll meet you in thirty minutes?” 

 

“Sure, I’ll see you then, Gogo,” Hiro said before he ended the call and texted her the address. “Baymax, I’m heading out for a bit. I might bring a guest here later. You think you’ll be okay alone?”

 

“I should be alright on my own, Hiro,” Baymax said as the bot walked down the stairs carefully, examining its surrounding, busy taking in how the lab looked like. Hiro grinned before he shook his head. With that, he walked out of the lab and sighed when he stepped out of the pavement. 

 

 

***

 

 

Gogo arrived a few minutes after Hiro walked into the cafe. She quickly went to order something to drink before she walked up to where Hiro sat and took a seat right in front of him. Hiro smiled brightly at her and she smiled right back at him with the same intensity. 

 

“You look good,” Gogo said after a while. 

 

“I feel good,” Hiro said with a shrug. “All my efforts paid off, so why shouldn’t I be happy?”

 

Gogo raised her eyebrows and her eyes twinkled amused. “I’m glad you feel happy,” she said. “Now mind telling me what gotten you so happy?”

 

“Nope,” Hiro said. “I told you, you have to see it to understand.”

 

Hiro knew it only peaked her curiosity even more. “Now you’re really starting to make me wonder,” she said as she bit her bottom lip. “I feel like we should immediately go to whatever it is that’s making you shine like a thousand watt bulb.”

 

The ex-actor simply chuckled. “Soon,” he said. “So, you said something about a private party?”

 

Gogo nodded. “Yeah, it’s a private party, to celebrate for the successful movie release. Remember the movie that you dropped out before you even auditioned for? That movie.”

 

Hiro’s own curiosity peaked at that. “Oh, I heard about that,” he said though he didn’t divulge the information that he hadn’t watched the movie. He didn’t want to watch it. He pushed way the thought from latching onto him and focused on the conversation. 

 

Gogo just looked at him with a knowing look and gave him a cautious smile and immediately Hiro knew that this conversation was going to take a turn for the worst, to somewhere where he didn’t want to go. He narrowed his eyes at her, warning her non-verbally. Gogo simply avoided his eyes and looked at the cup of coffee that was just delivered to her. 

 

“Well, I need a plus one for the party,” she said finally and looked at Hiro in the eyes. “So, I thought—you can be my plus one?”

 

“What?” Hiro questioned in disbelief once the question settled into his mind. “You want me to be your plus one? Why?”

 

“Because,” she started, her lips thinning and her cheeks reddening in what seemed like embarrassment. “Because I couldn’t find somebody to go with, alright.”

 

Hiro bit his inner cheek from laughing at his friend and tried to smile assuringly at her. Gogo only glared at him. “Sorry,” he apologised. “It’s just—aren’t you a rising star? Everyone’s talking about you right now. You should be able to bat your eyes and get a date!”

 

“Gee, if that was the case, I wouldn’t be asking you out to this party, would I?” she snorted. “Trust me, nobody came close to what I want to bring to this event. They’re—superficial.”

 

“And I’m not?” Hiro asked. 

 

“No,” she said. “Because you’re my best friend. And best friends help each other, right?”

 

Hiro knew that he couldn’t argue with her when she gave him that pleading eyes, staring right into his soul and tugging at his heartstrings. He just sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You really aren’t playing fair, you know.”

 

Gogo brightened at that and her eyes sparkled. “So, you would go?”

 

Hiro licked his lips as he stared at her, seriousness seeping into his gaze. “Is…,” he started only for the words to get stuck in his throat. Gogo’s eyes softened when she caught on to what he was trying to say. 

 

“Yeah,” she confirmed and he frowned heavily. 

 

“I don’t know, Gogo,” he said slowly. “I mean, it took me three years to feel alright again, I don’t think—”

 

“You don’t even have to see him,” she quickly said. “I’ll stir you away from him, you don’t even have to see him. Please, I’ll owe you a big one. I can’t afford to go alone.”

 

Hiro knew that this meant a lot to his friend but he just wasn’t sure if he was ready to face the world he left behind. But the more he looked at his friend, the more he realised that he shouldn’t be selfish. He wanted her to be happy too and it had been three years. It had been three years since he had last seen—him. It had been three years since the pain finally cut him open wide. 

 

But it had also took him three years until he could breathe again. 

 

Surely, it would keep his wound still sealed and dry even if he did accidentally met him again? His breath hitched at the very idea of getting to catch a glimpse of the man. But before he could second guess himself, he finally nodded at Gogo. “Fine, I’ll be your plus one. You owe me big time, Gogo.”

 

She grinned widely, obviously happy with his decision and Hiro couldn’t help but to smile back. “Thanks, Hiro. You’re the best, did I tell you that?”

 

Hiro snorted. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

 

Gogo just continued to beam happily. 

 

 

***

 

 

“Woah,” Gogo said as she stared at Baymax, who was just staring right back at her. “You…you did this?”

 

“Yeap,” Hiro said, pride obviously colouring his tone. “I mean, it took a lot of failed attempts, but I finally got it!” 

 

“Hello, Gogo,” Baymax said politely and Gogo was startled into a laugh. Hiro eyed her cautiously, gauging her reaction but she only seemed excited as she took a step forward. 

 

“Hello, Baymax,” Gogo said. “Is it okay if I touch your face?”

 

“Go ahead,” Baymax answered. “I believe Hiro had said it feels like cotton candy and marshmallows.”

 

“He did, did he?” she said as she looked at Hiro and rolled her eyes. Hiro simply grinned, cheeks redding at having caught saying something childish. 

 

“What?” Hiro said. “You touch him and tell me he doesn’t feel like cotton candy and marshmallows!”

 

Gogo did touch Baymax’s face then before she gasp gently. “My, it is soft!” 

 

Hiro nodded smugly. “I created him to look friendly,” he said after a minute. Gogo nodded, agreeing before she glanced at the ex-actor. 

 

“Are you going to publish this?” she asked and Hiro just shrugged. 

 

“I don’t think so,” Hiro said as he gave her a smile. “Maybe but definitely not now. Right now, I just wanted to have him for myself.”

 

She nodded again, as if she was trying to understand before she patted Baymax and took a step back. “This is really good, Hiro,” she said softly. “I’m happy you did something with your life after leaving behind the past.”

 

“I thought it was time to move on,” he said, his voice low. “I can’t keep on holding onto something that didn’t wait for me.”

 

Gogo didn't say anything to that but Hiro knew that she understood to what he was referring to. 

 

“If you,” she started. “If you really don’t think you can be my plus one, I don’t want to push you, you know.”

 

Hiro didn’t look at her but he did take a huge breath. “No, I told you I’ll be your plus one, I’ll be your plus one.” 

 

 

***

 

 

“A party?” Cass asked, munching on her dinner. Hiro leaned against his chair and nodded. “I thought you didn’t want to associate yourself with that type of scene anymore.”

 

“I don’t,” Hiro said, acknowledging her. “But, it’s Gogo. I can’t say no to her. I’ll sound like a bad friend.”

 

Cass simply gave him an encouraging smile. “What’s the party about? You said it was a private party, didn’t you?”

 

Hiro gave her a nervous chuckle before he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s for that movie I didn’t audition for,” Hiro said, looking away from Cass to his plate. 

 

“Hiro,” she began. 

 

“I know,” he said as he sighed. “I know, but—I don’t know. I just didn’t want to let her down.”

 

“But he’ll be there, wouldn’t he?” Cass asked, her voice tinted in worry and slight apprehension. Hiro winced at the tone and just nodded. “Hiro, you just got over him. You can’t put yourself through this pain all over again.”

 

“I know,” Hiro said. He sounded weary himself and for the umpteenth time since he agreed to become Gogo’s plus one, he asked himself just what he was doing.Just what was he trying to prove? That—that man had no more claim on him? That when Hiro finally got to see him again, he wouldn’t feel anything? “I’ll be fine,” he said finally but Cass simply sighed.

 

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” she said. “Because I do. I’m just—I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

 

Hiro knew that she was right. She always was and he knew that she should heed her advice and stay put, stay away from this party. His heart gave a shallow thump at the thought of having to see him again and he steeled himself for the ache as well. 

 

He just looked at his aunt and gave her a tight smile. “I know. I won’t.”

 

His aunt didn’t look convinced but she dropped the topic, much to Hiro’s relief. 

 

 

***

 

 

He was nervous, there was no doubt of it as he was in the same car as Gogo, driving to where the party was going to be held. She was talking about something, her eyes sparkling and Hiro couldn’t help but to smile at her. But the truth was, he just wasn’t listening. He was stiff as a board and he felt like he was going to have a short panic attack at any moment. 

 

“Here, here, we’re here,” she said as she pointed to a driveway. Hiro nodded at her quietly before driving his car to the driveway, noting to himself that he hadn’t been to this neighbourhood before. He could sense the poshness here and it made him wince at the slight layers of arrogance portrayed in how the houses were built around here. He found a parking spot for the guests and parked his car, getting out without showing much grimace on his face.

 

“This place is huge,” he said as he locked his car. Gogo nodded, adjusting her dress and hair. He smiled at her for a minute before she took his arm and started to drag him to the front door. 

 

“Don’t be too nervous, okay?” Gogo said before they stood in front of the entrance. She turned to look at him, adjusting his shirt and fixed his bangs a bit. “There, still handsome.”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes, knowing full well she was trying to diffuse his nervousness. “Thanks, Gogo,” he said. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

 

Gogo laughed before she pressed on the doorbell. The door opened immediately, a man grinned at them. “Gogo, you’re here!”

 

“Richard,” she said before she walked inside, her arm still looped around his own. “Sorry if we’re a bit late.”

 

“No problem,” Richard said and his grin widened when he looked at Hiro. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the missing actor!”

 

Gogo looked a bit troubled at that. “I hope this is discreet? This party, and their plus ones?”

 

“Of course, everything that happens here, stays here,” Richard assured her before he looked at Hiro again, holding out his hand. “I’m Richard Sullivan. Producer for this movie.”

 

“Yeah, I heard about you,” Hiro said politely with a smile and took his hand. “I’m Hiro.”

 

“I know,” Richard said before he closed the front door and lead them to the backyard where the private party was being held. “I didn’t think you’ll be Gogo’s plus one. It’s been what? Three years since we last saw a glimpse of you. Of course, there were rumours that you disappeared here, in San Fransokyo but your agent really kept the paparazzi from finding you.”

 

Hiro just continued giving the man a smile, a bit sharp at the edges at having to watch him prattle about his past. Gogo tightened her grip on his arm as if she was apologetic for this and Hiro simply shrugged at her, not allowing her to see how uncomfortable he was already getting at this event. 

 

Once they entered the backyard, he let his attention to wander around the setting. It was a nice setting with white lights around them. There was some calm music playing at the background and he saw a few other people he recognised from the time he worked as an actor, all hanging out with their own groups and laughing, talking. 

 

At least the thought that he wasn’t standing out like a sore thumb for now calmed him down. Richard soon left, leaving him and Gogo alone. He took in a deep breath at that and ran his fingers through his hair. “Sorry,” Gogo apologised and Hiro simply patted her hand that was on his arm. 

 

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “I was expecting that. I had disappeared for three years without notice. At least he didn’t go around announcing I’m back from the dead or something.”

 

Gogo laughed at that before she rolled her eyes. “You can be really dramatic when you need to be,” she said. 

 

“You didn’t know?” he asked in mock shock. “Gogo, we’ve been friends for a long time. Don't tell me you didn’t know this dramatic side of me existed?”

 

Just as Gogo was about to retort, a familiar voice found them. Hiro looked at who it was and grinned wide when he noticed it was Gordon. “Well, look who came to the party!” 

 

“Gordon,” Hiro said before he was enveloped into a hug. Hiro hugged him back before they separated, looking at each other. “It’s been a while.”

 

“It has, kid,” Gordon said as he patted Hiro’s shoulder. “The last time I got to see you was last year. How is your aunt?”

 

“She’s fine,” Hiro said with a shrug. “Sorry I haven’t kept in contact. I’ve just been a bit busy with stuff.” Gordon simply snorted, making Hiro grin. 

 

“I’ve been busy too,” he said. “I didn’t think you wanted to come to this party. I thought with everything, you never want to step a foot in a place like this.”

 

“Gogo was persuasive,” he said as Gogo pinched his arm.

 

“While you both catch up, I’ll go and get us something to drink,” she said before she released Hiro’s arm. Hiro nodded at her and turned his attention back on Gordon, who was looking at him speculatively. 

 

“What?” he asked, unsure as to why he was looking at him like that. 

 

“You and Gogo,” he started and Hiro’s eyes widened when he realised what he was implying. His cheeks reddened and shook his head, laughing a bit. 

 

“No,” he said firmly. “I’m not—we’re not. She just wanted a plus one, and she asked me. I said yes. That’s all.”

 

Gordon simply looked at him closely before he rolled his eyes. “That’s not what it looked like you know.”

 

Hiro simply sniffed, his cheeks reddening even more, unsure how to proceed with this conversation. “It’s really nothing. There’s nothing going on.” Gordon nodded but he didn’t look convinced. However, he was willing to move on with the conversation and Hiro was glad that they didn’t have to ponder on that issue. He worried the thought in his head, wondering if they did look like a couple. 

 

Gogo would throw a fit if she found out what people thought. Hiro wasn’t her type and she wasn’t his type either. He was just glad he could have her as a friend. He didn’t think they could be anything more and he was hoping they didn’t. It would just be terribly awkward since he did love her, but he loved her like how he might love a sister if he ever had one.

 

Just as the conversation with Gordon continued, Gogo came back with their drinks. “Thanks,” Hiro said with a smile and Gogo grinned back. 

 

“Gogo,” someone said, walking up to them. Hiro looked at who it was and froze when his eyes landed on her. She was walking towards them before she stood in front of them, a grin bright on her face. Gogo smiled back before she hugged her. “Glad you can make it!”

 

“You too, Honey,” Gogo said before she glanced at Hiro shortly. Hiro felt his heart stop beating when— _he_ walked up and stood next to Honey. Hiro didn’t dare to look at him, but he kept his gaze on Honey, who looked at him back with a confused and yet surprised look on her face. 

 

“Hiro?” she asked. “Hiro Hamada?”

 

Hiro cleared his throat nervously, feeling the prickling sensation of nausea crawling under his skin. Gogo looped her arm around his again, grounding him on Earth. “Y-yeah,” he said, his voice stuck in his throat. 

 

“My god,” she said, her voice in awe. “You’re really here. When Richard said you’re here, I didn’t believe him.”

 

“Well,” Hiro began before he licked his lips. “It’s nice meeting you again, Honey.”

 

She smiled brightly then. “You too, Hiro,” she said before she looked at—Tadashi. “He’s really here.”

 

Hiro took a small step back, avoiding looking at the man as he sipped on his drink. But the drink was too hard to swallow and he just wanted to disappear for good this time. Before Tadashi could say anything, he made an excuse and left the group, looking for the restroom. 

 

He was breathing heavily by the time he turned to an empty corridor. He leaned his back against the cold wall and slumped against it, trying to keephis heartbeat in check. With dread washing in him, he noticed that he was shaking gently. He realised with fear that he couldn’t do this after all. He couldn’t face him after all. 

 

Why, he demanded himself. Why couldn’t he just be fine? 

 

“Hiro?” 

 

Hiro froze. He didn’t look at the man, he just continued to stare at his feet. He felt a headache coming on and he wanted nothing more but to just slid down to the floor. It had been three years, for God’s sakes. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he shake himself away from this pain? 

 

The ache started up once more and it hurts. “Hiro,” Tadashi said, his voice was soft in this empty, quiet corridor. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine,” he croaked out. “I’m fine.” He repeated the same mantra in his head, making himself, forcing himself to believe that it was true. “I was just a bit overwhelmed.”

 

After a minute, Tadashi stood next to him, leaning against the wall as well, startling Hiro with his close presence. “Is it because of me?”

 

Hiro laughed, feeling exhausted. Why couldn’t he just leave all of this behind? “Yeah,” he said finally, not bothering to do this denial thing any longer. He was tired. He thought he was going to be fine after three years but here he was, back to square one. 

 

“I know,” Tadashi said quietly, his voice sounded a bit off. “It’s been three years.”

 

“I know,” Hiro parroted Tadashi. “That’s why.”

 

“I…,” Tadashi began before he sighed. “I don’t understand.”

 

“Me either,” Hiro said before he straightened himself. He clenched his fingers into a fist at his sides and took in a deep breath. “How, ah, how are you?”

 

“Fine,” Tadashi answered shortly. “What about you?”

 

“Before this? I was fine too,” Hiro said, his voice came out shaky. “God, I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. It’s been three years. It should’ve been okay. I should’ve been okay. I should’ve been able to look at you and not hurt. Why does it hurt so badly?”

 

Tadashi was quiet for a while before Hiro felt a hand touching his shoulder. Hiro flinched at the touch but the grip only tightened before Hiro was nudged to look at him. It took a second for Hiro to notice the differences in Tadashi. For one, he no longer looked like a teenager—he looked matured. He changed his hairstyle, making him have the adult look on him. 

 

His eyes looked serious, like they had been like that for a long time. For a minute, Hiro wondered if he lost the man he used to hate or liked or—loved. Who was this shell in front of him. Tadashi didn’t smile at him, but he looked pained before he dropped his hand and took a step back, once again standing against the wall. 

 

“I,” Tadashi said. “Don’t know what else to say. We don’t see each other after three years, not even a word and then you suddenly appear here. Then you run off immediately when you see me and Honey. I don’t know what’s going on.”

 

“Still looking for answers?” Hiro asked, smiling wryly at him. Tadashi shrugged. 

 

“I told you I wouldn’t demand any answers from you, didn’t I?” he said slowly. “I won’t break that promise.”

 

Hiro shook his head. “Why are you even here? Won’t Honey feel weird you ran after your—fake ex?”

 

Tadashi gave him a smile that held no humour. “She knows the truth.”

 

Hiro felt a pang going through his chest and nodded. Of course he would tell Honey about it. Why wouldn’t he tell her about the ruse? But there was a point in his life that he thought that maybe, if nobody else knew about the ruse, then maybe he could’ve pretended that he did have Tadashi. Maybe he could’ve pretended that he had been with the actor. 

 

But of course, Tadashi wouldn’t even give him that pleasure to do so. 

 

“Of course,” he said bitterly. “What was I expecting?”

 

“Hiro,” he said, his voice now held a warning at the end. “If you’re hurting because of me, then feel free to hate me but—she didn’t do anything to you. You don’t have to—”

 

“Oh, shut up!” Hiro finally snapped, looking at Tadashi in the eyes. “Why the hell would I even like her in the first place? So what if I hate her?”

 

“She has done nothing to you!” Tadashi sneered, standing straight and taking a step forward. “Why is it every time I talk about her, you get like this?”

 

Hiro gritted his teeth. “Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? You never know!”

 

“It wouldn’t be like that if you just told me why I’m hurting you!” Tadashi yelled, his voice held some tint of desperation. “I waited three years. I tried my best to forget about you, to forget about the look you had on your face when I left you that day—I just…I can’t. Something about the way you looked made me feel so guilty. What did I ever do to you, huh?”

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro started.

 

“No, I don’t understand,” Tadashi said, cutting him off. “I hate this, okay? You were the first person to ever elicit this—this competitiveness in me. I didn’t think I could’ve been where I am if you didn’t sneer at me or mock me, making me work harder than I ever did to get where I am. And suddenly, you’re done with me? You think you’re the one who’s hurting? I’m hurting too, Hiro! You hurt me too.”

 

Hiro closed his eyes tight, feeling his heart constrict at the words, knowing full well how Tadashi felt. “I just can’t tell you. You’ll hate me for real.”

 

“You already hate me,” Tadashi said bitterly. “So, why don’t you just tell me so we can make this feeling mutual?”

 

The words were cruel and it cut through Hiro like a knife. It made him agitated that he made Tadashi act so cold towards him. He knew that he was pushing the man away, even more than before. He knew that he hurt Tadashi too and he knew that he should just explain everything. Why shouldn’t he? 

 

“I don’t want you to hate me,” Hiro said finally, his eyes prickling. God, he felt so pathetic, just like how he had felt three years ago. “I don’t want you to hate me. I never wanted that. I never hated you. If you knew—if you knew, Tadashi, you’ll just break my heart.”

 

“How the hell are you so sure I would break your heart if you wouldn’t tell me?” Tadashi asked. 

 

“Because you already did, can’t you see?” Hiro said, exasperated as he glared at the man. “Can’t you see that you’ve already broken my heart to pieces, shattered it and—I can’t do this. I’m going home. I knew this was a bad idea.”

 

“No,” Tadashi said as he grabbed Hiro’s arm and held him in place. 

 

“Let me go,” Hiro said harshly. “For fuck’s sakes, I don’t want to do this!”

 

“But I do!” Tadashi said, his eyes now were filled with irritation and anger. “Why don’t you end my misery too and tell me!”

 

Hiro shook his head but Tadashi wouldn’t let him go. He just clasped his hands against Hiro’s shoulders and shook him. “Hiro, enough. Just tell me so I can fix it, goddamnit.”

 

“It’ll ruin you,” Hiro said, his eyes were now tearing up. “Let me go.”

 

“I won’t let you go,” Tadashi said. “I’m not letting you go until you tell me, Hiro.”

 

“Go back to Honey, Tadashi,” Hiro said as he tried to leave but the grip on his shoulders tightened. “Tadashi.”

 

“Why?” Tadashi finally asked, his voice sounded tired. “Why are you making me feel so guilty? Why are you leaving me feeling so wrong?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hiro said. 

 

“I have the right to know,” Tadashi said. “Please, just tell me. Hiro, if you don’t hate me then—then you’re leaving me no choice but to force the answer from you. You know—you know I could know. Aren’t you going to tell me now?”

 

Hiro stubbornly remained quiet. If Tadashi wouldn’t let him go, he wasn’t going to acknowledge the man in front of him. He couldn’t destroy Tadashi’s relationship with Honey with his own feelings. He knew that Tadashi loved her. He knew he wanted her. He couldn’t do this to the actor, no matter how much it hurt him even after all these years. 

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi said before one of his hands touched his face, jolting Hiro from his thoughts. The tears had already started to run down his cheeks and he thinned his lips as the man nudged his chin to look at him. The actor simply sighed before he gave a weak smile. “You’re making me guess. I—I don’t know how close this is but…the only thing I could come up with is that…you do like me, don’t you?”

 

Hiro tried to look away but the hand on his face prevented him from doing that. “Hiro, you like me don't you? I thought at first that there was no way you’ll feel something like that for me, but you do, don’t you? You like me. That fake relationship, that meant something to you, didn’t it? You wanted—you wanted it to be real. You like me.”

 

Hiro felt his heart quivering, knowing full well that Tadashi had hit the bullseye. He looked at the man, as the actor looked back at him, quiet and tired. “Don’t you?” 

 

“You’re so stupid,” Hiro said finally before he pushed Tadashi away, his whole body shaking from having his heart dissected so thoroughly. “You’re so stupid and oblivious.”

 

“But I’m right, aren’t I?” Tadashi asked. “You like me—”

 

“I _love_ you,” Hiro finally said, his eyes staring at Tadashi’s face. “I’m in love with you. I love you. I don’t like you, I love you. Yes, the relationship did mean something to me, but—Tadashi, I don’t…This is why I didn’t tell you. You’re with Honey. You love her. There’s nothing for me here. Looking at you makes me feel—horrible knowing she could have something I can’t.”

 

Tadashi looked pained and Hiro felt his self worth shattering. He blinked his eyes as more tears gathered at the edge. “Don’t look at me, don’t look at me like I deserve pity. I don’t,” he said firmly. “I know you don’t feel the same way. So…just…”

 

But his heart was worn out and he felt just overused. He felt tired and he just crouched to the ground and hugged his knees, burying his face on it, letting his tears come down, the sob getting caught in his throat. Why was he acting so pathetic? 

 

He felt shattered, he felt so sad. A pair of arms wrapped around him and before he knew it, he was dragged into an embrace, his face mushed against Tadashi’s chest as they sat on the floor. “I’m sorry,” Tadashi said quietly and Hiro just closed his eyes and hugged the man back, tight. He cried, not knowing why this felt even more painful than before. 

 

“I just wish this pain would end,” he said into Tadashi’s chest. “I wish you could feel the same way.”

 

Tadashi’s embrace tightened. “I,” he started. But Hiro didn’t want to listen. He didn’t want to hear anything. He just continued to hug him tight. 

 

“Please, don’t,” Hiro said. “I know. I don’t expect anything else. Just— _don’t_.”

 

Tadashi simply raised his hand and ran his fingers through Hiro’s hair, calming the ex-actor down. Hiro didn’t hear any more response from Tadashi and for a while, he just lied like that in the actor’s embrace, letting the tears out. If he had a shred of rational thought, maybe he would’ve scrambled away embarrassed but right now, he just needed this. 

 

He knew he wouldn’t get any more of this. This was the end of the road. He wasn’t going to get his happy ending and so, he would take what he could get right now, let himself believe that this was what it was when it wasn’t. 

 

He closed his eyes tight and hugged Tadashi tighter. 

 

If he felt the embrace tightened a fraction more, he didn’t complain. He just let himself have this moment before he had to say goodbye again, this time—for forever.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. I only own the plot.  
> A/N: Here's the next chapter! Yay, I updated fast! I just wanted to quickly get to the happy stuff now that I dragged the angst on for the past--few chapters (lost count //shot). Anyways, I was actually had little time to really write this chapter, so I hope it turned out well! I hope you guys like it though! Thank you to those who commented, kudos, bookmarked it and subscribed! Until next time~ -Krystal
> 
> _I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice to bury my love in the moondust—Moondust ( Jaymes Young)_

 

 

It was embarrassing. He couldn’t take back what he said. There was no way he could take back what he said and even if he knew that this was never going to go anywhere, he found himself not wanting to take back the words. 

 

He felt like the burden that had been weighing him down slowly lessened. There was only ache left, pure pain but Hiro knew that it would go away now. He was walking down the hallway, Tadashi walking behind him slowly. His cheeks burned from having hugged the man tight a few minutes ago, crying his eyes out at the thought of having his feelings rejected without getting a chance to live in it. 

 

But that was how life for him worked and he wasn’t expecting anything else out of this. He didn’t look at Tadashi as he left the man behind, walked away as he tried to reach the private party, hoping he would spot Gogo so he could go home. 

 

“Hiro,” Gogo’s voice reached him just as he was about to exit the hallway and turn to the party. She rushed to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, her eyebrows scrunched in worry. He tried to give her a smile but he knew he looked done. His eyes must had looked red, puffy at the edges and his hair must had looked like a mess. “What happened?”

 

“I,” he started but he couldn’t finish it when he spotted Honey standing next to Gogo, furrowing her own eyebrows. Tadashi then stood next to him and his presence itself made him flinch. Gogo frowned at him before she tightened her grip on his shoulder. “Can we go home?”

 

“Sure,” she said slowly. Before Hiro could take a step forward, a hand circled his wrist and held him back. He immediately looked at the hand on his wrist before he looked at the actor, raising his eyebrows in confusion. 

 

“I’ll take him home,” Tadashi said, looking weary himself. 

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Gogo said, her voice sounded tight. The grip on his wrist tightened for a fraction and Hiro tensed at the idea of Tadashi driving him home. Had the actor forgotten what happened a few minutes ago? Had he forgotten that Hiro just had his feelings rejected? Had he forgotten that Hiro was hurting because of him? But his mind was too tired to deal these questions, not when all he wanted to do was slam his face on his pillow and let the darkness drag him down under. 

 

He glanced at Honey, who was looking at Tadashi even more confused before her eyes dropped to their linked hands. Hiro tried to subtly peel his hand away from Tadashi’s grip, but the actor wasn’t allowing that to happen. He bit his inner cheek from wrenching his wrist away in fit frustration. Just what was Tadashi trying to do?

 

“It’s fine, I’m leaving too,” Tadashi said as he gave a smile. The smile didn’t look particularly friendly however and by the look on Gogo’s face, Hiro could guess she saw through his facade too. “Honey, why don’t you drive Gogo back to the hotel. Here’s my keys.”

 

“Uhm, okay,” Honey said, her voice held the magnitude of confusion that Hiro was feeling. 

 

“Hiro?” Gogo questioned, her eyes filled with doubt. 

 

“It’s fine,” Hiro said finally, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He just wanted to go home. He just wanted to get this day over with. “He can drive my car.”

 

“Right,” Tadashi said as he nodded at Gogo and Honey. “I’ll see you guys later.” With that, Tadashi started to walk away from them, dragging Hiro by the wrist. The ex-actor couldn’t do anything but to follow him, trying to keep his pace matched with the actor’s long strides. He looked at Tadashi, once again wondering what was happening. 

 

Just as they reached outside, Hiro finally tugged his wrist from his grasp. Tadashi stopped walking, seeming to collect himself before he turned to look at the ex-actor. His face was unreadable, cold and untouchable. Hiro simply continued to look at him, trying to say something. 

 

“Your car keys?” Tadashi said, stretching his hand out. Hiro hesitated before he fished the car keys from his pockets and handed it to the actor. Tadashi took it before he continued to walk to the carpark. Hiro followed him quietly, watching Tadashi press on the unlock button of the car keys and head to the car that responded to the command. 

 

Tadashi got into the driver’s seat before Hiro sat at the passenger’s seat, wondering for the umpteenth time just what the hell was going on here. He closed the door and took in a deep breath as Tadashi started the car. 

“What,” Hiro started as they began to drive away from the house. “What are you doing?”

 

“Driving you home,” Tadashi said, absent-mindedly. 

 

Hiro tensed at that. Despite him feeling tired, despite he wanted nothing more but to finally give up and let Tadashi do whatever the hell he wanted, he couldn’t help but to want to know what was happening. “I,” Hiro began. “I don’t—”

 

“You don’t?” Tadashi questioned, but he kept his eyes right in front, his grip on the steering wheel was tight. He looked as tense as Hiro was feeling. 

 

“You don’t have to do that,” Hiro said lamely, his cheeks reddening as he looked away from the actor, staring out of the window. “Why are you doing this?”

 

Tadashi didn’t answer. Hiro sighed loudly before he sat straighter. “Why are you doing this?” he asked again, this time quietly. “I told you—I told you I love you. You can’t do this to me, you can’t keep on doing this to me when all I want now is to forget. Is that—is that so much to ask?”

 

Tadashi sighed this time. “It’s not that,” he said, glancing at Hiro. “It’s not that I don’t want to leave you alone. It’s not that—it’s not that I don’t want to leave you in peace.”

 

Hiro flinched at the thought that Tadashi had tried leaving him. The thought sat bitterly in his head as he looked away. Then he felt a hand on his hair, just for a second, before it dropped, startling Hiro from his thoughts. 

 

“But I _can’t_.”

 

His eyes widened as he looked at the man again, his heart starting to beat harshly in his chest. “You can’t?”

 

“I tried to honour your wishes,” Tadashi said with a dry chuckle. “But the second I saw you, I couldn’t stay away. I wonder what that says about me. I wonder what it says about this need—to see your face, to hear your voice.”

 

Hiro bit his inner cheek, frowning a bit. “But—”

 

“Where do you live?” Tadashi asked, cutting him off. 

 

“Tadashi—”

 

“Seriously, where do you live?” Tadashi asked. “I need to make a turn here.”

 

“Take a turn to your right,” Hiro quickly said. Tadashi nodded at him as he did exactly that. “Tadashi, I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. I just—I just cried my eyes out like an idiot, told you things that I promised myself I wouldn’t tell because…because I don’t deserve those things. I don’t want them if it means you have to leave whatever that made you happy.”

 

Tadashi laughed, this time it sounded sad. It broke a bit more of Hiro’s heart, whatever that was left of his heart anyway. “Happy?” he asked, self-depreciatingly. “I don’t even know what that means anymore.”

 

“What are you talking about? You’re always happy,” Hiro said with a huff. “You have everything you want. You’re now as good as an A-list actor. You have a beautiful girlfriend, you can ask whatever you want and you’ll get it.”

 

“And that makes everything better, doesn’t it?” Tadashi said, dryly. “So, that means I’m supposed to be happy, huh?”

 

“I’m not—”

 

“Are you happy?” Tadashi asked. “When you left your carrier behind, when you left everything you knew behind, are you happy now?”

 

“Yes,” Hiro said. “Besides this—this heartache, I’m happy. I never…I didn’t like the spotlight. I felt like I have to keep a mask on every time I walk out. It’s like everyone wants something from me. It’s like—it’s like if I don’t do what they want, I’ll disappoint everyone and I hated that feeling.”

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said quietly. 

 

Hiro didn’t know the purpose of this conversation. How did they ended up to this part of their conversation? How did Hiro’s unanswered, most probably a rejection, of his feelings ended up to a debate about Tadashi’s happiness? He pressed his lips together, contemplating what Tadashi was feeling at the moment. Could it be possible that the actor was feeling like how he had felt before he left it all behind?

 

Was Tadashi feeling the pressure too? Was he feeling like he was better off alone? 

 

But Hiro couldn’t imagine a life where Tadashi wasn’t doing what he was doing now. All his life, he had known Tadashi as someone with agreat smile on his face, acting because that was what he loved to do. The ex-actor realised that maybe, Tadashi was probably faking all this while. 

 

Maybe, maybe Tadashi had always felt like this and Hiro just never noticed it. 

 

He flinched at the thought. 

 

“I live at the cafe,” Hiro said after a while of silence. 

 

“Oh,” Tadashi said. “You live above the cafe or—”

 

“Yeah. It’s like a joined building. Easier for Aunt Cass to access the cafe.”

 

Tadashi nodded but he didn’t say anything else. Soon, Tadashi found a parking space and parked the car across the cafe. “How will you be getting back to your hotel?” Hiro asked, realising they had drove using the ex-actor’s car. 

 

“I can walk,” Tadashi said. “It isn’t far from here.”

 

Hiro frowned at that. “But—”

 

“It’s alright,” Tadashi said as he leaned against the seat before looking at Hiro. “I probably need the fresh air.”

 

Hiro felt nervous now. He felt nervous and still a bit shaken from what was happening. “I’m sorry,” Hiro said, his voice barely audible. 

 

“Why are you apologising?”

 

“I didn’t mean to burden you with my feelings,” Hiro said as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You should—you should forget about them. Go back to your life, ignore me, okay? I don’t want to see you anymore. I want to move on, I want to feel like I could let my heart breathe again without having to feel this pain.”

 

Tadashi was quiet but the silence was more contemplative than awkward. “You don’t want to try?”

 

Hiro was startled at that question, immediately looking at the actor as Tadashi looked back, his eyes were serious. What was he saying? Was Tadashi playing with him now? Hiro frowned deeper before he rolled his eyes, anger starting to crawl in his veins. Was Tadashi really asking that?

 

“Are you serious?” Hiro asked, sarcastic. “Please, Tadashi. Go home.”

 

Before Hiro could open the car door to leave, Tadashi grabbed on his wrist and pulled him back in. “I’m not joking,” Tadashi said, leaning closer to the ex-actor, looking into his eyes. Hiro bit his inner cheek from pushing Tadashi away harshly. 

 

“Of course you are!” Hiro exclaimed. “Do you have any idea what you’re saying? ‘You don’t want to try?’ I mean, what the hell is that, Tadashi? Is that supposed to be funny to you? I’m in love with you, you prick! It’s not—it’s not funny!”

 

He tried to pull his wrist from being held in Tadashi’s grasp for the millionth time but once again, the actor held his wrist tight, unrelenting. “It’s not a joke,” Tadashi said as he took a deep breath. “I can’t lose you again.”

 

Hiro felt his heartbeat stopped beating for a minute. He just stared at the man’s face, unsure how to react. “Tadashi, you can’t just—you can’t just say things like that just because you don’t want to lose me. What does that even mean? You—I don’t want your pity.”

 

“It’s not pity,” Tadashi said seriously. The grip on his wrist loosened and Hiro’s breath hitched when the thumb started caressing his wrist. Hiro just closed his eyes, confused, angry, frustrated and utterly baffled. “I told you, I can’t stay away from you. I don’t know why yet. But I do feel something for you, Hiro. I do.”

 

“No,” Hiro said as he shook his head. “You don’t. You think you do, but you don’t.”

 

“I do,” Tadashi said firmly. “Hiro, I—I feel something for you, okay?”

 

“Please, don’t,” Hiro said as he opened his eyes and once again tried to snatch his wrist away from Tadashi’s grasp. “You’re with Honey. You love her. Please, don’t make me—I can’t do this.”

 

Tadashi then touched his face with his other hand, tilting his head to look at him. “We’re not,” Tadashi said with a shrug. Hiro frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. 

 

“What?”

 

“We’re not together anymore,” Tadashi said as he pulled away, letting Hiro go. “We broke up two years ago.”

 

The information was hard to digest. It just wouldn’t click in his mind. He was stunned at the revelation, wondering how the press hadn’t caught the fact that Tadashi was no longer with Honey. “You’re lying,” Hiro said absent-mindedly, the confusion now took over him. 

 

“I’m not,” Tadashi said with a sigh. “Why would I lie to you about that?”

 

“Because!” Hiro said, suddenly feeling a bit scared. Just what was Tadashi trying to prove? “You’re doing this so I’ll let down my guard! Then when I trust you enough, you’ll—you’ll hurt me or humiliate me or—”

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi cut him off. “I’m not lying. I don’t know what I’m feeling, I don’t but—I’m willing to find out. If you’re willing to try this with me.”

 

“T—try?”

 

“With me,” Tadashi said slowly, looking weary again as a smile hovered his lips cautiously. “Together.”

 

“I,” Hiro began. Tadashi however shook his head. 

 

“Think about it,” Tadashi said finally as he exited the car, Hiro following him quickly. Tadashi locked the car before he handed the keys back to the ex-actor. Hiro couldn’t tear his eyes away from him as the actor ran his fingers through his hair, looking tired, done. “I’ll see you soon.”

 

Hiro watched as Tadashi walked away, not stopping as his mind whirled with a million questions. He bit his bottom lip as he waited until the actor was no longer in his sight. He then turned around and crossed the road to head to the cafe. Heading to the door next to the cafe building, he walked into his house, closing the front door and locking it before jogging up the stairs. 

 

Cass was already waiting for him at the living room, watching television with a bowl of popcorn on her blanket covered lap. Hiro stood at the entrance, watching her until she glanced at him and smiled widely. “Hey,” she said as she munched on more popcorn. 

 

“I told him everything,” Hiro blurted out without thinking. Cass immediately stopped watching her show, sitting up straight as she held on her bowl tight. She looked at him cautiously before she frowned. She turned the television off, patting to the empty seat next to her. 

 

“Want to talk about it?” she asked.

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said, still feeling confused, baffled. He sat next to her, running his fingers through his hair. 

 

“Well, what happened?” she asked, her voice was careful and curious. Hiro cleared his throat as his cheeks reddened at what happened. 

 

“I saw him at the party,” he started. “He was there, and I couldn’t stop myself from feeling everything all over again. I walked away, trying to get away but he followed me, confronted me, forced me to tell him everything and—he knew. He knew, he had his suspicions and he didn’t look surprised that I love him.”

 

Cass smiled sadly as she ran her fingers through his hair. He sighed and laid his head on her shoulder, enjoying her caress. “What did he do?”

 

“He, he hugged me.”

 

The hand on his hair stilled. “Hugged you?”

 

“He held me close,” Hiro said, blushing brightly. “He didn’t let me leave when I broke down. He didn’t say anything but he held me close. And for a second, I let myself believe that I was the one he wanted.”

 

“Hiro,” she said slowly, sighing louder this time. 

 

“But that’s not all!” Hiro said as he pushed himself away from Cass’s shoulder, looking at her. “He drove me home. He drove me back and—and he told me we should try.”

 

Cass’s eyes widened as she sat straighter, placing her bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. “But—doesn’t he have a girlfriend? Doesn’t he—isn’t he attached?”

 

“He told me he broke up with her two years ago,” Hiro said, voice wavering. “He told me he doesn’t want to let me go anymore, he doesn’t want to lose me again. I don’t know what he wants, Aunt Cass. He said he doesn’t know what this feeling was but he felt something for me and he wanted to figure it out with me.”

 

“I,” Cass started. “What do you want to do?”

 

“I want him,” Hiro said immediately, feeling his heart thumping loudly against his chest. “But…I’m afraid.”

 

Cass nodded, looking understanding. 

 

“What if he realises that I’m not what he wants after all? What if he realises he can’t love me back after all? It’ll—it’ll kill me, Aunt Cass. It’ll kill me this time.” Cass immediately closed her eyes for a moment before she rubbed her face. 

 

“Talk with him some more,” she said finally. “Please, talk to him some more, get a clear picture on what’s going on. I can’t—I don’t want you to do this if you can’t be happy. I don’t want that.”

 

Hiro nodded, knowing she was right like she always was. “I know,” he said slowly, the anxiety slowly creeping in his veins. The fear started to grip the edges of his mind at the thought of Tadashi leaving again. He closed his eyes as he tried to take a deep breath. He couldn’t let himself fall harder than he already did if he was going to get hurt after all. 

 

Cass was right, he should talk to Tadashi a bit more. He needed to know what was going on in Tadashi’s mind before he could take the next step. He needed to find out if there was anything worth pursuing that wouldn’t leave him scattered in pieces. 

 

He touched his chest, knowing he couldn’t handle another heartbreak. 

 

It would crush him. 

 

 

***

 

 

Soon turned out to be the next day. 

 

Hiro blinked as he stared at the actor, who was standing in front of him, raising his eyebrows at the dumfounded look on the ex-actor’s face. “Uhm,” Hiro slowly said, knowing he was holding up the line. He cleared his throat and looked down to the cash register, his hands shaking slightly from the shock of having Tadashi appearing like this without a word. “What would you like to be having today?”

 

“Coffee?” Tadashi said with a careless shrug. “Black I guess. It’s still the morning. Then, then can we talk?”

 

Hiro nodded mutely before he keyed in the order and rattled off the price, doubt and anxiety starting to brew in his chest. Tadashi then got his cup of coffee and headed to one of the empty tables. Hiro blinked at him for a second before he sighed and looked at his next customer, smiling widely, focusing on his job. 

 

It took a while before he was finished with his shift before handing the shift to Abigail, who was still working here despite she had graduated from SFIT. She didn’t seem to be wanting another job at the moment and Cass, despite the guilt at thinking she was holding Abigail back, didn’t say no when Abigail wanted to continue working for her. 

 

Hiro also liked talking to her. She was honest in her opinions and Hiro appreciated her views on certain topics, making debating with her fun. She smiled at him as he handed the apron to her. “You seem to have a very famous guest, huh?” she asked cheekily. 

 

Hiro’s cheeks turned red as he scoffed. “Whatever,” he said as he waved his hand. His cheeks reddened even more when he heard her laugh. He then walked up to where the actor was, sitting opposite of him, nervous and unsure once more. 

 

“Uhm,” Hiro began. Tadashi looked at him, his coffee long gone. “Why are you here?”

 

“I told you I wanted to try, didn’t I?” Tadashi asked, his voice once again held no emotion and it made Hiro even more uncomfortable at this side of the actor. Just who was this Tadashi that was talking to him? He looked so different, so void of light. “Have you thought about it?”

 

“I,” Hiro began. “I did.” And he did, the entire night, tossing and turning. 

 

“Great,” Tadashi said with a short nod. “So, what do you say?”

 

“Are you going to hurt me at the end?” Hiro blurted out, his voice coming out a bit too sharp. Tadashi seemed to look taken aback, sitting against his chair as he crossed his arms. 

 

“I don’t know,” Tadashi said finally, honestly. Hiro’s heart gave out a flutter at that but it wasn’t a pleasant flutter. He closed his eyes as he sighed before he opened his eyes again. 

 

“I don’t want to get hurt anymore,” Hiro said. “I can’t try this with you if—if you’re going to decideat the end that I’m not what you need or want or—or you didn’t want me the way I want you. I can’t become your experiment, I can’t get hurt again. Not anymore.”

 

Tadashi’s lips thinned and he looked like he was thinking about a lot of things before he sighed. “I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you. I might, with my obliviousness or ignorance, I might neglect the most obvious things and hurt you but—I want you, Hiro. I know you doubt me now because you think I can’t return your feelings but I want to. That’s why I’m asking you try with me. I’m not going to decide one day you’re not what I want. I tried to live without looking at you, looking for you, hearing your voice, I tried to live without all of that and I can’t. I couldn’t do it. I find myself wanting to hear you make fun of my acting, make me think that I can do better. I need you.”

 

“Honey, what about her?” Hiro asked quietly. “You love her.”

 

“I thought I did,” Tadashi said. “But then we quickly realised that maybe it was for the best if we remained as friends. We decided to keep people thinking we’re together just so I wouldn’t have to handle another break-up news splashed on the cover page of every magazine. It was convenient—until I saw you again and you—you love me.”

 

“Are you sure?” Hiro asked, his voice hitching. “I can be too much sometimes, I don’t like a lot of things and I’m annoying. I might not understand some things and I can hurt you too. I’m sorry if I did hurt you, you know. I didn’t mean to. I just had to do it.”

 

“I know,” Tadashi said. “I understand that you had to do it. But I’m asking you now to take a chance with me. Don’t you want to know if we can make this work? For real this time.”

 

Hiro bit his bottom lip. “Don’t hurt me,” Hiro said, his voice came out like he was pleading. A hand touched his own which was lying on the table. Hiro looked as Tadashi intertwined their fingers. 

 

“I won’t,” Tadashi said even though Hiro knew nobody could make such promise. “I’ll try my best to make you happy. I’m sorry for hurting you for so long.”

 

Hiro felt his eyes tearing up again and laughed a bit, his heart feeling light. The confusion and anxiousness melted away to the back as Hiro clasped their hands together tight. “Okay,” Hiro said finally, looking at Tadashi in the eyes. 

 

“Okay? You’ll try this with me?” Tadashi asked, his eyes seemed brighter and that was when Hiro saw some emotions floating in Tadashi’s eyes. The mask was melting away. 

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said, with a tiny smile. “Yeah, let’s try.”

 

Tadashi then smiled, bright and dazzling and Hiro was mesmerised, realising that he did that. He did that, he was awed. 

 

“Okay.”

 

 

***

 

 

Gogo didn’t look impressed. In fact, she didn’t look anything remotely positive right now and Hiro fidgeted as he sat in front of her, nursing a cup of coffee and deliberately avoiding her eyes. 

 

“What happened last night?” she asked finally, after a long time staring at his face. Hiro cleared his throat, placing the cup on the table before he shrugged. “Hiro.”

 

“I,” he started, his cheeks reddening again. “I confessed?”

 

Gogo’s eyes widened. “You—confessed?”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said, looking at her and smiling. “Yeah, I did. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stop myself from not saying anything anymore. I just—blurted out.”

 

“Woah,” Gogo said, surprised. “So, what happened then? Hiro, you know he’s with Honey, right?”

 

“Well, about that,” Hiro said as he laughed nervously. Gogo narrowed her eyes and her lips thinned. “He said he broke up with her two years ago. He—he wanted to be try with me, he said.”

 

Gogo’s jaw fell, looking even more shocked than before and Hiro didn’t blame her. He had felt the same thing when Tadashi had said that. “You,” she started. “Him—he said that?”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said. “He said he didn’t want to lose me. He said he wanted to be with me. He said he always felt something for me and he doesn’t want to let me go again. I—God, it was all so confusing. I didn’t know what to do. Gogo, it all felt like a dream.”

 

Gogo eyed him, still looking unsure. “Do you want to do this then?” 

 

Hiro bit his inner cheek, knowing what Gogo was worried about and if he was honest, Hiro was still unsure himself. Tadashi suddenly saying he wanted to do this? It all felt surreal, especially when the ex-actor had witnessed first hand how bright and happy the actor got whenever he talked about Honey. His heart pinged at the thought, wondering if Tadashi would end up looking at him like how he looked at Honey one day. 

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said, looking at her with a cautious smile. “I want to. I’m just—I’m just scared, I guess.”

 

She sighed before she grabbed his hands, squeezing his hands. “I know you’ve been hurt a lot. I know you have every right to doubt if he really wants to do this with you. Hiro, I don’t blame you. If I were in your shoes, I’ll be scared too. But—it’s worth the risk though, right?”

 

Hiro could feel his heart starting to pick up pace. He nodded, knowing she had a point. “I just don’t want to get hurt again,” Hiro said slowly. “The pain is enough to last for a lifetime. I don’t need to get hurt again.”

 

“If there’s no pain, then you’re not really living or feeling,” Gogo said as her smile softened. “And every time you think you’re in the darkness, just remember, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.”

 

Hiro squeezed her hands back tight, his heart fluttering in his chest. He was grateful for her. He was glad he managed to have a friend like her, managed to find someone he could trust beside his aunt. Someone who could understand what he was feeling and let him know the things he needed to hear. 

 

“I don’t deserve you sometimes,” Hiro said and Gogo laughed, shaking her head. 

 

“I’m glad you realised how awesome I am,” she said. “But, Hiro, seriously, I’m with you, if you ever need me. And if Tadashi hurts you again, I’ll punch him for you.”

 

Hiro laughed this time, nodding at her. “I’ll let him know that.”

 

She snorted before she let go of his hands. “You better let him know that. Now, enough sappiness, as long as you’re fine.”

 

“I’m fine,” Hiro said and for the first time in a while, he really meant it. Gogo must had known too because her eyes brightened. 

 

“Good.”

 

 

***

 

 

Hiro kept his gaze on the pavement, letting the silence wash between them as they walked, side by side to nowhere. The wind blew through his hair and he breathed in the scent of the city and nature, smiling to himself. “I’m still not sure how you’re not recognised yet,” Hiro finally said, breaking the silence as he looked at Tadashi, who was walking next to him with his sunglasses and cap on. 

 

The actor glanced at him, raising his sunglasses slightly to look at Hiro before he snickered and adjusted his glasses back on his face. “I don’t think people would think I would wear sunglasses and caps as a disguise. And that’s the beauty of this disguise.”

 

Hiro grinned at that as he shook his head. “I guess that’s true. But I recognise you though,” Hiro added cheekily. 

 

“You’re special then,” Tadashi said with a careless shrug. Hiro’s grin faltered, his heart picking up speed once more, his cheeks reddening. He looked away from the actor and continued on the walk, unsure of how to proceed with the conversation. “Oh, you’re red.”

 

Hiro tensed before he glanced at Tadashi, who was looking at him with his sunglasses off his face, a child-like grin playing on his lips. “Shut up,” Hiro said as he tilted his head upwards, deciding it was best if he walked ahead of Tadashi. Before he could do that though, Tadashi grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. Shocked and embarrassed, he quickly looked at the actor and tried to tug his hand away, only for Tadashi to shake his head. 

 

“Come on, let’s hold hands.”

 

“What,” Hiro asked, his cheeks now were a brighter shade of red. Tadashi once again wore the sunglasses, the grin still on his face. “Tadashi, what if people recognise us?”

 

“They won’t,” Tadashi said. “It’ll be fine.”

 

Hiro huffed out at the confidence and rolled his eyes. He felt the warmth from Tadashi’s palm seeping through his and he liked it. He finally relented and adjusted their grip so Hiro clasped their fingers comfortably. Tadashi pulled him gently a bit closer to him, making them walk with their arms brushing with each step. 

 

The ex-actor couldn’t help but to feel light, the slight nervousness that he felt diminished and his fear slowly retreated to the back of his mind. He felt—happy, he noted as he glanced at Tadashi, who looked relaxed with him, as if he was where he was supposed to be. That thought caused Hiro to tighten their grip and he saw Tadashi smiling. 

 

“You told me you weren’t happy a few days ago,” Hiro said, realising that now that he had spoken out loud about this, he had been wondering what Tadashi had meant. “What did you mean?”

 

Tadashi sighed. “It means I wasn’t happy.”

 

“I mean, why?” Hiro asked, prodding gently, just in case Tadashi wasn’t ready to share that information with him. “I thought you liked acting.”

 

Tadashi stopped walking before he turned to look at Hiro, their intertwined hands tightened as if Tadashi was suddenly nervous. Hiro started to doubt himself, maybe he shouldn’t have asked. “If you don’t want to tell me, I understand. You don’t have to answer me.”

 

“No, I just,” Tadashi began, rubbing the back of his neck. “I do love acting. I like my job, I do. It’s just—I didn’t think how much my life revolved around you until you left.”

 

Hiro’s eyes widened at the confession, taking a step back unconsciously. Tadashi frowned at that as he pulled Hiro closer again. “I’m not,” Hiro said. “I don’t revolve around you. I—I’m not that important.”

 

Tadashi frowned even more before he shook his head. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

 

“Get what?” Hiro asked, slightly nervous again at the thought that he might be the reason, the sole reason for Tadashi’s happiness. He didn’t know how he felt about that, if he should be happy about that or scared as hell that he would accidentally destroy that information with his carelessness and ignorance. “No, I don’t get why I’m so important that I influence your happiness. I’m not—We hated each other!”

 

Tadashi gave him a rueful smile and Hiro blinked at that, his heart beating loudly against his chest. “I didn’t,” Tadashi said softly. “I told you before, haven’t I? I never hated you. You elicited so much emotion in me that sometimes, half of the time, I don’t even know what to do with them. You make me feel alive again after so long. I told you how my parents died, I told you how lonely I felt, and when I’m with you, I forget about that. I don’t know why yet, but I know it’s just the matter of time before you become something constant in my life and without you, it’s dull, Hiro.”

 

Hiro felt his heart constricting at that, surprised at how much he had influenced the actor’s life. “I didn’t know,” Hiro said slowly, his eyes stung. He rubbed his face with his free hand, feeling more connected to Tadashi than he had with anyone. “You mean a lot to me too, even before I—I fell for you. You were everything in my life. You make me feel less lonely too.”

 

Tadashi touched his face, brushing his bangs from his forehead, the smile softened even more, filled with something akin to affection and Hiro realised that it was for him. That smile was for him. He was starstruck, suddenly feeling aware of how he was reacting. He looked away, closing his eyes a bit as Tadashi slowly closed the distance and hugged him. 

 

Hiro immediately hugged him back, wrapping his arms around the actor, placing his head against the man’s shoulder, just breathing in. “I still can’t believe this is real,” Hiro whispered under his breath. 

 

“It is real,” Tadashi said. “I never want to lose you again. Not anymore.”

 

“It’s just,” Hiro said as he took a step back from the embrace, taking off the sunglasses from Tadashi’s face, looking at him in the eyes. “I was so convinced you loved Honey. The way your eyes brightened when you talk about her, the way you looked whenever she was with you—I didn’t think—I thought I could never be with you like she could.”

 

“The truth is,” Tadashi said as he placed his hands on Hiro’s face, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “I thought I loved her. I did, I guess. We were together after the fake relationship between us ended, and I was happy—but I looked for you more than I looked for her. She wanted me the same way I wanted her, but the only thing I could think about was how better it would be if I could see you again. It confused me at first but—I was an idiot, wasn’t I?”

 

“It’s not your fault,” Hiro said with a shrug, fiddling with the sunglasses, his cheeks were warm and he was slightly afraid that his cheeks might be permanently red. “It was hard to let you go though. I cried way too much than I should have. It made me feel weak and pathetic.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Tadashi said and Hiro chuckled. 

 

“No, I—I’m sorry for hurting you too,” Hiro said and Tadashi pulled him in again, hugging him tight. 

 

“Let’s go on a date.”

 

Hiro’s heart gave a loud thump at that as he bit his bottom lip. “Okay,” he said. 

 

“Great, tonight?” Tadashi said as he pushed Hiro off, holding his hand again. Hiro raised his eyebrows before he nodded, the fluttering sensation in his chest amplified. God, why was he acting this way? But he wasn’t complaining because he liked this feeling. He liked this anticipation in his veins, he liked this. 

 

“Okay,” Hiro nodded. “Where should we meet?”

 

“I’ll pick you up,” Tadashi said with a grin and Hiro smiled back. “I might need to speak to your aunt too.”

 

Hiro furrowed his eyebrows, confused. “Okay—why?”

 

“I need to ask her permission to date you, don’t I?” 

 

Hiro scoffed at that, rolling his eyes. “I’m not some fairy tale princess, you know. You don’t need to do that.”

 

Tadashi only chuckled but the twinkle in his eyes told Hiro that Tadashi was going to do it anyway. Hiro huffed before he started to walk, pulling Tadashi with him by the hands. “Come on, dork. Let’s continue our walk.”

 

Tadashi only laughed, making Hiro to chuckle with him. His heart still felt like cotton candy when Tadashi had to leave to get ready for tonight. 

 

 

***

 

 

“A date?” Cass asked, looking at him as Hiro went through his clothes in the closet, throwing everything that didn’t even remotely look good on the floor. “Wait, he asked you out on a date?”

 

Hiro stopped moving and looked at Cass over his shoulder, noticing she was looking at him amused. He shrugged before he went on with his task. “Yeah, I think we’re uhm, together?”

 

“Finally,” Cass said as she took a few steps into his bedroom, standing next to him and inspecting his closet too. “Are you happy?”

 

“I am,” Hiro said as he glanced at his aunt. “I’m just terrified. What if—what if I make a mistake and we crashed and burned?”

 

“Like I said, Hiro,” she started. “It’s only worth it if you think it’s worth it. Is he worth it?”

 

“Yeah, he is,” Hiro said, his cheeks glowing and his heart fluttered at that. He smiled to himself as he breathed out and ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the edges. “Yeah, he’s worth it.”

 

“Then he’s worth everything,” she said before she pulled out clothes that she thought looked good. She handed them over to Hiro, who took it without much fuss. He liked her choice and smiled. 

 

“I have a feeling he’ll make it worthwhile,” Hiro said honestly. “He wanted to meet you by the way.”

 

“Oh?” Cass asked, amused once more as her lips twitched to smile. Hiro rolled his eyes. 

 

“He thinks he needs your approval or something to date me,” Hiro said as he turned around and head to the bathroom. “I’m not some princess, I told him that but he won’t listen.”

 

“I like him already,” Cass said, her voice sounded light. Hiro closed the door, laughing to himself before he decided to freshen himself up. 

 

By the time he came out of the bathroom, looking ready, Cass was already gone from his bedroom. He took in a deep breath as he nodded to himself, letting himself know that he can do it. He walked out of the bedroom, heading down the stairs and stopped at the kitchen when he spotted Cass, already talking with Tadashi. 

 

Hiro shifted from one foot to the other as he watched Cass smile wide, Tadashi scratching the back of his neck as well, both looking relaxed with each other. Hiro couldn’t help but to smile at that as he leaned against the kitchen doorway, watching their interaction until Cass noticed him. 

 

“Oh, you’re down!” she said and Hiro grinned. Tadashi looked at him before he smiled, and Hiro dimmed his grin into a soft smile. “Tadashi is a gentleman, I think you snagged a right one, dear.” Hiro looked at his aunt, horrified at what she said as she grinned mischievously. 

 

“Aunt Cass,” he said, his voice coming out embarrassingly whiny. Tadashi only grinned, his cheeks reddening at the compliment. “See, I told you, you didn’t need her permission!”

 

“It doesn’t hurt to meet your aunt though,” Tadashi said. “Formally, that is.” Cass looked at the actor and nodded before she clasped her hand on his shoulder. 

 

“Take care of him,” she said slowly, her smile softened and her eyes became serious. “He doesn’t trust easily but, you, he trusts you a lot. You mean a lot to him, so take care of him.”

 

Tadashi looked at Cass and his own expression seemed serious. “I will,” he assured her, placing his own hand on hers before he looked at Hiro, who was looking at them, unsure of what to say. “He means a lot to me too.”

 

Cass nodded before she took a step away, taking in a deep breath. “Well, off you both boys go. I’ll see you before twelve?” 

 

Hiro chuckled before he nodded, gesturing Tadashi to start walking. The actor smiled at his aunt one last time before he followed Hiro, both of them walking out of the house. Hiro locked the door before he took in a deep breath. The night was cool and it reflected his mood perfectly. 

 

“Let’s go?” Tadashi asked, dangling his car keys right in front of Hiro’s face. The ex-actor smiled before he nodded. 

 

“Where are we going?” he asked as he followed Tadashi to his car. 

 

“I was thinking we could get something to eat. I know a place we can eat without getting recognised here,” Tadashi said. Hiro furrowed his eyebrows as he got into the car as Tadashi did. 

 

“Huh, I didn’t know there was a restaurant that allowed that here,” Hiro said cautiously and Tadashi tensed a bit before he sighed a bit and ran his fingers through his hair. 

 

“Well,” he said. “Let’s just say I come to this city quite a lot in the past three years.” 

 

“Really? But I never saw you around,” Hiro said, confused a bit. Tadashi bit his bottom lip before he glanced at Hiro. 

 

“I try my best not to wander around so you could see me,” Tadashi said. “This city is big, you know. I was always at the other side of this city—in case.”

 

Hiro blinked at that and he started to feel warm in his chest. “You were here for three years—and we never met.”

 

“I didn’t want you to see me either,” Tadashi as they started to drive away from the cafe. “I wanted to honour your wish.”

 

“Have I told you how much of a dork you really are?” Hiro asked, his lips twitching to stretch into a fond smile. Tadashi relaxed at his tone and chuckled. 

 

“I have a feeling I’ll be hearing a lot of that later,” Tadashi said playfully. 

 

“Yeah, you will,” Hiro said before he realised something else. He tensed at the thought, not knowing how the thought hadn’t crossed his mind before. He sighed loudly, brushing his bangs from his forehead, the soft warmth started to feel jagged. 

 

“What?” Tadashi asked, his voice cautious, noticing Hiro’s change in demeanour. 

 

“When are you leaving?” Hiro asked, pained to ask the question. Tadashi went tense again as he gripped on the steering wheel tight. 

 

“In two days,” Tadashi said and Hiro closed his eyes. “Look, Hiro, I know—I know this isn’t going to be easy. I know that but—I want this to work. We can make this work, can’t we?”

 

“You want to?” Hiro asked, feeling the insecurity washing into him again. 

 

“I do,” Tadashi said firmly. “Hiro, I mean it. I won’t lose you again.”

 

Hiro looked at the actor sitting next to him. He knew this would be hard. He knew that Tadashi did have his own life and he wouldn’t always be here all the time for Hiro to hug or to hold. He knew that one day, Tadashi would leave to get back to his original life. But the thought that it would be a long time again before seeing Tadashi again made him feel uncomfortable. 

 

“If I don’t want to?” Hiro asked. “If I’m not confident we’ll make it?”

 

“I will convince you we will then,” Tadashi said, his voice didn’t waver, in fact it was so confident, so firm, that it was ready to kick off any doubts Hiro might had. His heart blossomed at the words and smiled, more to himself as he touched Tadashi’s hand. 

 

“Let’s keep on trying,” Hiro said finally and Tadashi glanced at him for a minute before he relaxed and smiled. “I want this with you too.”

 

“No matter what happens,” Tadashi promised. 

 

“No matter what happens.”

 

Tadashi seemed to like that as he relaxed fully, starting up another conversation and changing the topic, much to Hiro’s approval. Hiro hadn’t known they had so much in common and yet had so very different opinions about a lot of things. It made Hiro enjoy their conversations though, made him think that he could imagine himself doing this for a very long time. 

 

The way Tadashi smiled and looked at him whenever he did something that seemed remotely interesting in Tadashi’s books made Hiro feel warm and cosy inside and he never wanted to not feel them. He always wanted Tadashi to look at him like that.

 

His heart gave a soft thump at that and for the first time in a while, he felt relieved and happy. 

 

Hiro liked this feeling. He hoped he would feel like this all the time now. He hoped Tadashi would continue to make him feel like this all the time. 

 

He hoped they would make it after all.

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine!
> 
> A/N:............................. No excuses. I will not make excuses. YEAH. HAPPY NEW YEAR'S GUYS! //hides// I'm sorry. I just, I have so much going on in my life for a while now that i didn't have time to actually write anything but here I am! Back with a new chapter! I think this is going to be the second or third last chapter! Yes, this story is coming to an end. Yeaaahh. ;-; But anyways, until then, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I thank you guys so much for being patient with me! Thanks to those who read, commented, bookmarked, subscribed and gave this story kudos! I thank you all very very much! Now, uhm, go! Go and read it! Until the next chapter~! -Krystal
> 
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> _I woke up in a broken dream, where no one lying next to me —Nightmare (Miley Cyrus)_

 

Tadashi brought him to a small restaurant. It was secluded from the main road and despite it looked like nobody came by this road, the restaurant was full of people. Just like what the actor said, nobody batted an eyelash when Tadashi and Hiro walked inside.

 

In fact, they treated Tadashi liked they would treat any other customer. Something about that made Hiro like this place. It was a wonder how he never found this place. He looked around as they were seated at a table against the walls. It was a comfortable place. 

 

The restaurant was warm and the smell of soft cookies filled the air. Hiro looked around to find that there was indeed a pastry section, displayed for people to pick out their choice of pastry. This place was comfortable. 

 

“You like this?” Tadashi asked once the menu was delivered to them. Hiro looked at the actor and smiled. 

 

“It’s great,” Hiro said as he glanced at the menu in his hands. The food they served wasn’t anything fancy either. “It’s perfect.” And it really was perfect. 

 

“It is, isn’t it?” Tadashi said. Hiro looked up from his menu to catch Tadashi grinning at him, his lips stretched wide in satisfaction. The happiness the man radiated was contagious and it caused Hiro to smile brighter at him. 

 

“It is,” Hiro confirmed and Tadashi’s grin widened. Hiro rolled his eyes at the proud smile and went back to looking at his menu. He quickly decided on Spaghetti Bolognese and placed the menu on the table. By the time Hiro had ordered his food, and the menu had been taken away, he had felt marginally relaxed. 

 

Silence washed in between them for a minute before Tadashi cleared his throat. Hiro blinked at him before he smiled. “What?” Hiro asked when Tadashi seemed content on just staring at his face, his arms resting on the table. 

 

“Nothing,” Tadashi said. “Just…thanks, I guess.”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows in slight confusion. “For what?”

 

Tadashi smiled. “For giving this a chance.” 

 

Hiro’s cheeks reddened as his heart started to pick up pace. He looked at the table cloth and started to pick at the edges. “Yeah, well,” he said and settled with a shrug. A hand reached out and touched his hand, stopping his fingers from picking at the tablecloth. Hiro looked at their hands, nervousness bubbled in him. 

 

Tadashi took his hand and intertwined their fingers. For a minute, Hiro was left to stare at what happened before his face turned redder. He looked at Tadashi and realised that the actor looked at him with a soft smile on his face. He squeezed their hands and Hiro smiled at that as he squeezed back. 

 

The redness left his face and his heart thumped once more, this time, unlike the rest of the time that it was filled with pain, this time, it thumped with joy. He felt fluffy inside and Hiro liked how he felt. 

 

“I mean it,” Tadashi said under his breath. His voice was serious as he continued to stare into Hiro’s eyes. “I’ll try my best to keep you happy. I want you.”

 

Hiro’s cheeks bloomed in red for a while before he nodded. “Me too,” he said. “I’ll try my best too, Tadashi.” 

 

And Hiro knew that he would never hurt Tadashi ever. He would try his best to listen to this man in front of him. He would try his best to make him happy. Hiro quickly noted that he would do anything for him. 

 

It was like a pang in his heart when he realised that he had fallen deeper for Tadashi. The way he smiled, the way he talked, the way he walked and looked at everything in their best light—it made Hiro wonder in awe what he had done to deserve him. Even though their relationship had just begun, Hiro couldn’t help but to want Tadashi to understand that there was never going to be anyone else for him. 

 

It was the only truth that Hiro was sure of at the moment. 

 

When the food arrived, Hiro detangled their hands and decided to eat. It was a peaceful affair, this dinner date. They talked about everything. Hiro hadn’t realised he was smiling brightly when Tadashi stopped talking for a moment, smiling back with his eyes warm. 

 

“You should smile like that more,” Tadashi said. 

 

Hiro couldn’t help but to keep that smile on his face after that. “Yeah?” Hiro said. 

 

“Yeah.” Tadashi smiled back. 

 

The atmosphere between them was comfortable. It was heart-warming and Hiro was above cloud nine. He was happy, he realised as they left the restaurant and were walking down the pavement. Both of them hadn’t wanted to leave yet and decided to walk around for a bit. 

 

Hiro looked at the sky and the starry nights twinkled back at him in response. It reflected how he felt inside. His heart that pained all this while was now full. He glanced at Tadashi, who looked at the sky as well and he knew it right then and there, Tadashi was it. 

 

The ex-actor looked down to their hands that were intertwined and smiled once more. His cheeks hurt from all the stretching his lips did tonight but it was worth it. He liked feeling this way and he never wanted to feel anything else but this. 

 

Hiro had wanted to say ‘I love you’ again. He wanted to tell Tadashi those words but he refrained himself when he remembered Tadashi hadn’t caught up yet. There were still some distance between them that Tadashi had to cover. Hiro could wait, he promised to himself. Thus, he swallowed the words down his throat until the day Tadashi was ready to hear them again. 

 

“This is nice,” Hiro said under his breath as they continued to walk in silence. Tadashi hummed out loud in agreement. 

 

“It is,” Tadashi said as he tightened the grip of his hand. 

 

Hiro bit his bottom lip as a question appeared in his mind. The question had been nagging at him for a while now. He knew he didn’t have to ask. He could just keep quiet about it. But—he needed to know. 

 

“Will you still be with Honey when you get back?” 

 

Tadashi froze before he glanced at Hiro from the corner of his eyes. He didn’t respond for a while as he continued to walk, Hiro followed him, waiting. Hiro knew that Tadashi had an image to protect. He didn’t get to do anything for his own. Everything he did, especially now that he was almost as good as an A-list actor, his image was important. Hiro understood what it all meant. It meant that what they had would only be theirs. Nobody else would know except the person they were closest with. 

 

Hiro didn’t mind. 

 

It would be a lie if Hiro said he didn’t mind Tadashi kept the pretence that he was with Honey. 

 

But he understood if Tadashi had to do it. 

 

“I should stop, shouldn’t I?” Tadashi said, almost as if he was talking to himself. Hiro tensed at the words, unsure of what Tadashi was referring to. 

 

“It…I don’t mind,” Hiro said under his breath. “I know how important this career is to you. I won’t ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

 

“I know,” Tadashi said with a sigh. 

 

Hiro quietened after that. He knew Tadashi wasn’t going to talk about it. Hiro shook the thought from his head. It didn’t matter, he told himself. Tadashi was here and right now, he was with him. That was enough, he could be happy with this. He was happy with this. 

 

One day, maybe they would be ready but for now, this was enough. 

 

There was this sudden wash of insecurity inside. 

 

Was this really going to be enough later in the future though? Would Tadashi’s pretence with Honey never tire him? 

 

Hiro’s smile strained at the edges. There was a pang of slight pain in his heart and reality started to take over that euphoria he felt a moment ago. Tadashi was going to go back soon, to a life Hiro had no part in, not anymore. Didn’t that mean that their worlds now were going to be too different? 

 

The thought ate his happiness a bit. 

 

He shook his head from the thought. Now was not the time to let his self-doubt get in the way. They were together right now. They were here like this, right now. For now—it would be fine. Hiro took in a deep breath and changed the subject.

 

“Have you tried James’s Ice-Cream?”

 

Tadashi looked at him and raised his eyebrows, whether at his attempt of changing the subject or at the actual question itself, Hiro wasn’t sure. “I don’t think I tried ice-cream from there,” Tadashi said at last. Hiro grinned before he pulled Tadashi to cross the street. 

 

“You’ll love it. The ice-creams are nice!” 

 

Tadashi chuckled as he followed Hiro. 

 

“I’ll trust your judgement then.”

 

 

***

 

 

Cass ate her breakfast without saying anything but Hiro knew she was giving him looks every time he looked elsewhere. When Hiro caught her staring at him at last, he frowned. 

 

“What?” he asked her. 

 

She smiled and shrugged. “Well…you came home and didn’t bother to tell me what happened on your date. I was just curious if something happened.”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows before the corner of his lips lifted upwards into a smile. “It was wonderful,” Hiro said. His heart gave a loud thump as he recalled their date. “It was…great.”

 

Cass eyed him before her smiled widened. “I could see the twinkle in your eyes,” she said. Hiro’s cheeks reddened before he grinned. He knew he looked starstruck at the moment but he couldn’t believe that this was his life now. He never thought this day would ever come. He had really thought he would never love anyone and get loved in return. This warmth that filled him inside was addicting. 

 

“I’m happy,” he told her. “I’m very happy.”

 

She dimmed her smile to soften the edges of her lips. “After all that pain,” she said and Hiro nodded to agree with her. 

 

“I’m going to miss him though,” Hiro said after a while. Cass raised her eyebrows at that. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Hiro sighed as he looked at his aunt in the eyes. “He’s leaving the day after tomorrow to L.A.” 

 

“Oh,” Cass said, biting her lips. “How do you feel about that?”

 

Hiro shrugged but he knew he wasn’t that happy about it. But he pushed away that thought. Tadashi had a job to do, Hiro wasn’t living in any delusion that the man would stay. He would support Tadashi no matter what he did, he had always supported the actor, even when he hated him. 

 

“I wish he could stay longer,” Hiro confessed. “But it’s his job. I would never stand in his way to his future.”

 

Cass sighed before she reached out and touched Hiro’s hand. “It won’t be easy,” she started. “Relationships are never easy. But—if you both really wanted this to last, it’ll last.”

 

Hiro smiled once more before he squeezed her hand as well. “I know.” 

 

Then, there it was again, that small niggling self doubt. 

 

Tadashi was obviously not going to have time for Hiro anymore once he gets back. Did that mean that Hiro had to give up some of his happiness again for Tadashi? He bit his inner cheek and tried to keep the smile on his face. 

 

They were fine. They would make it. 

 

 

***

 

 

Hiro held his breath as Baymax walked up to Tadashi. The actor didn’t react to them yet, just stared at the marshmallow robot. Hiro bit his inner cheek before he gestured at Baymax. “You remember Tadashi, don’t you, Baymax?”

 

Tadashi looked at Hiro before he dragged his eyes back at Baymax. “Baymax? That’s…Baymax?”

 

Baymax tilted its head a bit at the side before it raised its hand and waved at Tadashi. “Hello.”

 

Tadashi’s lips twitched before it stretched into a grin. “Hello, Baymax. You look—cuddly.”

 

Baymax looked at itself before it looked at Hiro. “It is to give a friendly demeanour to people.”

 

Tadashi chuckled. “You look friendly indeed. Even I want to hug you.”

 

Hiro felt his cheeks reddening. “You could, if you want,” he said. Tadashi grinned wider before he shrugged. 

 

“I’m fine,” he said. “This is amazing, Hiro.”

 

Hiro looked at the actor before he looked away, rubbing his neck. The compliment stayed light in his heart and he felt warm and fuzzy again inside. “It’s…you know.”

 

“No, this is really awesome,” Tadashi said as he placed a hand on Hiro’s shoulder. “Hiro, this is amazing! This is just…wow.”

 

Hiro didn’t know how to react to that. He should know how to act though, but when he looked at Tadashi and saw that pride in his eyes, that look of affection, Hiro’s mind shut down. His cheeks reddened even more, the flush reached his ears. He cleared his throat as he looked at Baymax, trying to ignore how warm Tadashi’s hand was on his shoulder. 

 

“Thanks,” he said, his voice now a murmur. The hand on Hiro’s shoulder tightened into a squeeze before Tadashi dropped his hand. Then a soft melancholy covered the ex-actor as he stared at Baymax, who had lost interest in Tadashi and had gone back to exploring things around it. “This is the only thing I can do to honour my parents’ wishes.”

 

He glanced at the actor, who was looking back at him with an understanding smile. “You did a great job, Hiro. I’m sure, they’ll be proud of you.” 

 

Hiro felt a sharp pang in his heart at that and he smiled. “Yeah,” he said. “I didn’t want to let what they worked for die just like that, you know? So, here I am, trying to bring back one of their biggest inventions to life.”

 

“I’m proud of you,” Tadashi said with a sigh. Hiro looked at the man and raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think I could do what you’re doing if I were you. But here you are, changing the world as we speak.”

 

“Hey,” Hiro said as he touched Tadashi’s arm. “You’re strong too. Tadashi, you’re one of the strongest people I ever met. You take the most hurtful things and turn them into strength. I’ve…I’ve always been jealous of that.”

 

Tadashi raised his hand and touched Hiro’s cheek. He caressed the cheek with his thumb and Hiro felt his face heating up again. The tender smile on the actor’s face was once more pulling his breath away from his lungs. “You don’t have to be jealous,” Tadashi said as he took a step closer to Hiro. “Because you’re the reason why I try so hard to make bad things look good.”

 

Hiro closed his eyes as he shook his head. The hand on his cheeks warmed his already reddened face. Another hand touched his other cheek before his face was cradled. “Hiro,” Tadashi said, his breath fanning the ex-actor’s face. “You have no idea how brilliant you are, do you?”

 

“I’m not,” Hiro said as he opened his eyes. His breath hitched when he realised how close their faces were, noses almost grazing each other. Just a bit more, if Hiro tilted his head a bit to the side, he could feel those lips against his. His eyes widened at that thought but he didn’t move away. Something in Tadashi’s eyes held him there, frozen. “Brilliant,” Hiro finished his sentence, breathlessly. 

 

Tadashi quirked his lips to a side before he leaned in closer. “You are,” he said and before Hiro could protest, Tadashi tilted his head a bit and placed his lips against Hiro’s. The ex-actor almost stopped breathing when he felt the man’s lips against his. His shoulders tensed and the hand on the actor’s arm tightened. 

 

For a few seconds, Hiro just stood there, unsure of what to do. But when his brain caught up to what was happening, he released his breath and closed his eyes. He then leaned in closer and kissed the actor back, his hands holding Tadashi as well. Their kiss was short but it still left Hiro dizzy. 

 

When Tadashi pulled back a bit, he grinned. 

 

“Huh,” Hiro said after a while, dumbfounded. 

 

Tadashi chuckled. “Well, who knew kissing you would make you look this pliant.”

 

Hiro snapped back into reality and scowled. He sighed as he rolled his eyes and brought his hands around Tadashi’s torso. He placed his head against the man’s chest and hugged him. Tadashi didn’t hesitate to hug him back and they both stood there, just like that. 

 

“Shut up,” Hiro said, words muffled against the chest. Tadashi only laughed, his chest vibrated against Hiro’s face. Hiro couldn’t hold back the smile and hugged him tighter, letting the smile spill over his lips. He felt Tadashi’s hand touching his hair and the fingers running through the strands. It felt comforting and Hiro didn’t want to leave this warmth. 

 

Once more, the words ‘I love you’ were at the tip of his tongue. And once more, he held them back. He knew Tadashi wasn’t ready for that yet, no matter what they were now. But the desire to let the man know how much he wanted to say the words had almost made Hiro cry. He didn’t think he would ever have this. 

 

But here he was, with him. 

 

“I can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow,” Hiro said. Tadashi stilled for a minute before he heaved out a breath, his chest moving up and then down. 

 

“I wish I could stay longer,” Tadashi said. Hiro nodded against the chest. He knew who Tadashi was to the world. He knew that the man couldn’t simply leave it all behind like how Hiro did. Especially now that Tadashi had become an international celebrity. “I wish I could.”

 

“You’ll be back soon, right?” Hiro asked, his voice held back the hopefulness. 

 

Another long silence and Hiro knew then, that no, Tadashi won’t be able to come back as soon as he would like. 

 

“I’ll try,” Tadashi started. 

 

The words felt like a knife in his chest. Hiro thinned his lips as the wave of hurt washed into him.

 

“ _Don’t_ ,” Hiro said, cutting Tadashi off. He tightened his grip around Tadashi. “Don’t say it if you can’t mean it. _Don’t_.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Tadashi said. “I wish I could promise you I’ll be back soon but the minute I get back, I have another movie to shoot and—it’ll take me another six months and…I’m sorry.”

 

Hiro blanched at the thought of not being able to see Tadashi for another six months. His heart gave a loud thump at that, uneasiness flooding into him. But he didn’t let it show on his face as he detangled himself from the man and took a step back. He placed both of his hands on the actor’s shoulders and squeezed, a weak smile graced his face. 

 

“Don’t worry about me,” Hiro said though he knew Tadashi could see through his mask. “I’ll be fine. It’s your career, Tadashi. Live your dream, yeah?”

 

Tadashi shifted from one foot to the other. He frowned and dropped his hands to his sides. “Hiro,” he started. “Don’t do that.”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows and tensed. “Don’t do what?”

 

“That,” Tadashi said as he pointed to Hiro’s face. “That mask you’re wearing, drop it. It’s not working on me. Not anymore.”

 

Hiro flinched and took away his hands from the man. He took another step back and took in a deep breath. “I’ll miss you,” Hiro confessed. “But I won’t lie to myself and believe that you’re going to stay here, with me, for long. You’ll have to be elsewhere soon and I have to stay here—it’s—”

 

“I don’t want to hear it if you’re going to say what I think you’re going to say,” Tadashi bit out, his voice low. A warning was clear in his words but Hiro shook his head. 

 

“I’ll be here,” Hiro said with another smile. “We’ll be fine.”

 

Hiro hid the internal wince at that. It sounded like a lie. Why did it suddenly sound like a lie?

 

Tadashi looked at Hiro for a while longer before he nodded, unaware of the ex-actor’s internal struggle. “I’m not—I won’t let you go, not this time, Hiro.”

 

“You can’t promise me that,” Hiro said. “Look, Tadashi, let’s just—have some fun before you have to leave, alright? Let’s just go on another date or something and…we’ll see where this takes us.”

 

Tadashi’s jaw clenched before he ran his fingers through his hair. “Trust me,” he said finally as he took a step forward. “Hiro, trust me, believe me. I—I want you. You’re the reason why I’m happy. Don’t you understand?”

 

“I do,” Hiro said. “Because you make me happy too. But Tadashi, that’s your world and this!” Hiro said as he opened his arms wide and waved it around. “This is my world.”

 

Tadashi remained quiet. “You want me to leave you after everything that’s happened?” Tadashi asked, his expressions controlled. 

 

Hiro’s heart ached at that. “No,” the ex-actor said. “I’m just saying…that if one day…if one day this thing between us has to end, then I’ll understand.”

 

Tadashi just stared at the ex-actor. Before Tadashi could open his mouth, Hiro took another step forward and touched his face. “Hey, we’ll be fine,” Hiro said. “We don’t have to—think about anything else right now, okay?” 

 

The actor looked like he wanted to protest but Hiro simply leaned in close and kissed him, ending everything that was about to tumble out of the man’s mouth. Tadashi seemed to resist the kiss before he gave up and kissed Hiro back. There was some urgency in the way they kiss but Hiro let it happen. 

 

He was happy for now, having Tadashi here with him. For now, everything he wanted was here. Tadashi had an important life out there and Hiro knew the man still didn’t know what he wanted for real. Hiro knew that Tadashi didn’t love him—not yet. And Hiro didn’t know if he should wait for the day Tadashi would feel the same way for him. Honestly, Hiro felt like they might not make it but for now, he was happy. 

 

He cherished Tadashi and his heart was content: _for now_. Until tomorrow, he could let himself believe that Tadashi wanted him as much as Hiro needed him. 

 

_I love you._

 

_I hope you’ll be happier once you realise you can do anything you want, Tadashi._

 

_I’m nothing special. You are._

 

_I love you._

 

 

***

 

 

Wasabi looked at him from behind his cup of coffee. Hiro glanced at him before he rolled his eyes. 

 

“Okay, what?” Hiro asked when Wasabi looked at him for the umpteenth time. 

 

“Nothing,” Wasabi said. Hiro kept his stare on Wasabi until the man cracked. “It’s just—you look…different.”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows and took a sip of his coffee. “Uh, okay,” Hiro said, not knowing what to do with this information. 

 

“No, really,” Wasabi said. “You look—different. I don’t know what or why, but you look different.”

 

“I have no idea what you’re saying,” Hiro deadpanned. “I look perfectly normal.”

 

“I know!” Wasabi said. “It’s just…you look different.”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes once more at his friend. “I think you’re delusional. Do you need glasses?”

 

Wasabi frowned and Hiro grinned. “Shut up,” Wasabi grumbled, his cheeks seemed to turn a darker shade from his usual chocolate skin tone. “I’m just stating what I’m seeing.”

 

“Sure,” Hiro said with a shrug. 

 

Wasabi narrowed his eyes at Hiro. 

 

Hiro looked away from his friend back to his tablet in hand, scrolling through the news feed. He stopped once his eyes caught on Tadashi’s face. It was another article about Tadashi’s upcoming movie and the actor’s lead role in it. This movie was said to be the greatest hit ever and Tadashi could possibly be nominated an Oscar award for his acting skills in the movie.

 

He sighed internally as he grazed his fingers at Tadashi’s face on the screen. He missed him. Hiro missed Tadashi badly. It had been almost six months since he last seen the man. After their last conversation at the lab, things had gone a little tense between them. 

 

Hiro knew why. With Tadashi’s stubbornness, the actor had tried his best to change Hiro’s mind about how much he meant to the actor. But Hiro knew that until Tadashi made up his mind about what they were, he wouldn’t hope so much in this relationship. He loved Tadashi though and his heart ached every time he couldn’t hear the man’s voice. 

 

It had been almost two weeks since they last talked over the phone. Tadashi’s busy schedule held no room for casual calls. Sometimes when Hiro would call by accident because he missed him so much, there was a fifty-fifty chance Tadashi answered, but most of the time, the calls would end up as missed call. 

 

Tadashi would call him back but it was always after a few days or so. This was the longest they had gone without talking and Hiro tried to keep a straight face when he saw another article about Tadashi and Honey’s ‘relationship’. Tadashi still had made no move to revoke that thought from everyone’s mind and Hiro didn’t blame him. 

 

Tadashi was at the prime of his career—Hiro didn’t have to bring him down. But the ex-actor couldn’t help but to feel this bitter acid in his mouth whenever he would see how they would pose for the camera, how Honey would hold onto Tadashi and how Tadashi would smile back at her, with that smile of his. That smile that was filled with warmth and affection, just like how he smiled at Hiro at the last day before he had to leave. 

 

“You look upset,” Wasabi said as he caught Hiro’s attention. 

 

Hiro gave him a smile. “Nah, I’m fine.”

 

Wasabi didn’t look convinced but truth to be told, Hiro was starting to feel less and less fine too. 

 

 

***

 

 

The phone rang for the fifth time. 

 

Hiro groaned under his breath as he took his phone from the bedside table. He glared at his phone and squinted his eyes to take a look at who the hell was calling him at three in the morning. Hiro immediately sat up and blinked a few times when he realised it was Tadashi. 

 

His name was flashing on Hiro’s screen. Hiro furrowed his eyebrows before he answered the call. 

 

“Hey,” Tadashi said. 

 

“Why the hell are you calling me at three in the morning, Tadashi?” Hiro asked, even though he sounded whiny. Tadashi hummed, amused. 

 

“Why? It’s not like you’re sleeping or anything,” Tadashi teased. 

 

God, Hiro missed him. 

 

“Ha ha. Tadashi, if you can’t sleep, you should bother someone else. I’m not the right person to call because unlike you, I’m always asleep at this time of the night.”

 

“But you’re the only person I want to talk to,” Tadashi said and Hiro rolled his eyes. 

 

“Sure,” Hiro said before he narrowed his eyes, playfully. “It’s not because you like to see me frustrated, is it? Because I know you like that. You like making me frustrated.”

 

“It’s fun,” Tadashi said with a laugh and Hiro sighed softly, a smile gracing his lips. 

 

“Dork,” he said and Tadashi chuckled a bit. 

 

There was then silence between them before Tadashi sighed. “I miss you.”

 

Hiro heart thumped at that as he laid back down on the bed. He hugged the blanket against his chest. “I miss you too,” Hiro said under his breath. 

 

“I want to see you,” Tadashi said, his voice sounded tired. “I want to see you so much.”

 

“Soon, right?” Hiro said, trying to lighten the mood. Tadashi, however, didn’t reply to that. Hiro became alarmed at the silence. “Tadashi?”

 

“I can’t,” Tadashi said at last. Hiro’s eyes widened as his heart stopped beating for a moment. 

 

“What?” Hiro asked. 

 

“I can’t see you soon, Hiro,” Tadashi said, now frustration seeped into his voice. “I’m booked for another three more months with interviews and reality show appearances and then I’m going overseas for another few more months to sign a contract for this new movie franchise and they want to start filming almost immediately after that—I—”

 

Hiro realised then, with his heart breaking, that Tadashi wasn’t going to come back. 

 

There it was. 

 

This was it. 

 

That dreaded time where all his hopes shattered to the ground by reality once more. 

 

There it was, out on the open, on how useless this entire thing was. How much time they were going to waste if they kept this up. How much they were going to hurt if this went on. 

 

There it was. 

 

Reality at its finest. 

 

“I see,” Hiro said, his voice emotionless. “I should probably congratulate you on your successes though. I told you you’ll make it, Tadashi. I never once doubted—”

 

“ _Please_ ,” Tadashi began. “Hiro, no. Don’t—please. I’m just calling to tell you I won’t be able to see you for a while. Hiro—”

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro said and stopped Tadashi from rambling. “What are we?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Hiro sucked in a breath and blinked away the tears that were starting to gather in his eyes. “I love you,” he said. “I’m in love with you. I want to be with you all the time. I want to be yours, Tadashi.”

 

“You are mine,” Tadashi said, confused a bit. “Hiro, what—”

 

“Am I?” Hiro started, bitter. “Are you mine, then?”

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi said. “Of course I am.”

 

“I love you,” Hiro said. “I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. I would give you anything, I would give up anything for you if you asked, that’s how much I love you.”

 

Tadashi made a weird sound but Hiro ignored him. 

 

“Do you love me back?” Hiro asked finally, the words out there in the open. “I need to know, Tadashi. I just—I need to know. I held myself back from saying I love you for a while now but…but what are we? What is this? Do you even love me back?”

 

Tadashi didn’t reply. As the silence stretched on, Hiro knew with a sinking heart that this was it. He knew that this was too good to be true.

 

Tadashi didn’t love him back.

 

After all this time, the actor couldn’t return his feelings. Hiro realised then, Tadashi didn’t even know what they were. This was merely something they were trying to be. They weren’t anything. Hiro’s heart clenched tight at that. 

 

Tadashi didn’t even know what they were.

 

“We should end this,” Hiro said after a long silence. It pained him to say it. His heart cracked and the tears that were gathering at the edge of his eyes, spilled. 

 

Tadashi took in a sharp breath. 

 

“No, Hiro—”

 

“I can’t do this,” Hiro said. “I told you. I told you, Tadashi, I can’t get hurt again. I can’t be with you only for you to realise one day you don’t want me. I can’t—”

 

“ _I do want you_!” Tadashi yelled, his voice hysterical. “I want you so much, goddamnit! How many times do I have to tell you that you’re the only reason why I’m happy? Why I’m working so hard? Why can’t you believe me? Are you so scared to even let me in?”

 

The words sliced through his heart and he felt a trickle of anger in himself. “That can’t be true!” Hiro yelled back as he sat up. “I’m not that special! I’m not—I…I love you. Please, don’t hurt me. You promised you won’t.”

 

The tears started to slid down his face and his heart ached once more. The familiar pain that he thought he abandoned a long time ago came back crawling. In fact, the pain intensified. It hurt even worse, if that was possible, than last time. 

 

“You don’t love me,” Hiro choked out. “You can’t even decide what we are. What are we, Tadashi?”

 

“I,” Tadashi started. “I…I care for you, Hiro. I care for you a lot. I like you a lot. Can’t you give me a bit more time?”

 

“It’s almost six months,” Hiro said. “I haven’t seen you besides through these tablet news about your movie or about your relationship with Honey! I know I have no right to ask you to expose yourself and end that farce with her but—but it still hurts. It hurts to know that you still won’t tell me how you truly feel. Every time I ask you about us, you go—you say the same thing over and over again!”

 

“Because they are the _truth_!” Tadashi said, exasperated. “I can’t say I love you back, Hiro. Not yet. But you mean so much to me, that sometimes, I just want to leave everything behind and just—just be with you.”

 

Hiro scoffed. “Sure, Tadashi. You want to leave everything behind for me?”

 

“You don’t believe me?” Tadashi asked and there was a hint of challenge in his tone. 

 

Hiro remained quiet before he ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t,” Hiro said at last. “I can’t do this anymore. I…can’t stand from afar and love you again. It hurts too much. I’m…tired.”

 

“So you’ll just give up?” Tadashi accused. “Just like that? Without even giving me a proper chance? Without giving us a proper chance?”

 

“I haven’t seen you in ages, Tadashi!” Hiro exclaimed loudly. “I won’t get to see you for another year and a half! How the hell do you expect me to stay here and love you when I know you won’t get to call me often, won’t be able to see me, won’t even get to hold me anymore. You don’t love me, not really. I was just someone who found the real you from the facade you wore everyday, that’s it.”

 

“Don’t you _dare_ ,” Tadashi said, his voice was dangerous. “Don’t you dare put words into my mouth. You don’t know what the hell I’m feeling, don’t make assumptions!”

 

“I’m right!” Hiro yelled. “You don’t want me the way I want you. You’ll realise sooner rather than latter that I’m just this kid who found out how to push your buttons the right way, that’s all! When you find someone real—someone else who you can really see your future with…you’ll leave.”

 

“Shut the hell up,” Tadashi said, tense. “I can’t believe you would even say that! I can’t believe you would doubt me like that! You’re a hypocrite! How dare you even say that I’m hurting you when you at the same time, are hurting me? I’ll tell you I love you soon, just give me time!”

 

The tears just kept coming down as he shook his head. “I’m done. We’re done. You should focus on your career, Tadashi. Just—let’s leave this here and be done with it.”

 

Tadashi went quiet. “How can you not understand how much you mean to me?”

 

“Because I don’t understand how I can influence your life so much,” Hiro said. His voice was hoarse and he felt done. He just wanted to end this phone call. He didn’t want to talk anymore. “I’m sorry. When we were together—I was really happy, Tadashi. But…I think it’s time to let you do your own thing and I do mine.”

 

“I’m not leaving you,” Tadashi said, his voice now held a strange tone to it. A tone that sent chills running down the ex-actor’s spine. A tone that held massive determination. A tone just for Hiro. “I’ll make you see how much you mean to me.”

 

Hiro couldn’t handle this conversation anymore. He needed to get off the phone. He needed space. 

 

“Goodbye, Tadashi.”

 

Tadashi didn't say anything as Hiro cut off the line. He took in huge gasps of air and slammed the phone next to him. He didn’t know why Tadashi wouldn’t see how different they were. What could Tadashi do anyway? Hiro rubbed his face as his heart ached. 

 

He couldn’t go back to square one again. 

 

He would have to just endure this pain for a bit and he had to move on. He had to do this for his own good. Tadashi was never going to see him in the same light. This was for the better. He glanced at his phone and after ten minutes, Tadashi never called back. 

 

Hiro sighed and rubbed his face. 

 

He was just done. 

 

It was time to bury everything inside and forget them. It was time for him to take a breather from this constant pain. Hiro couldn’t deny that he was happy when he got the chance to be with Tadashi but he always knew they would crack. He missed him so much and he wanted to just touch the actor, hug him tight at night when the loneliness caught him off guard. 

 

But those were dreams and the world he lived in didn’t believe in dreams. 

 

Hiro choked down a sob and went back to lying on his bed. He hugged himself and closed his eyes. He could do this. He could do this, he could move on and give Tadashi a brighter future. 

 

He could do this.

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: ...I have nothing to say. It's late at night here--like really late and I'm so tired. I'm gonna go to bed now. Anyways, thank you all to those who have commented, subscribed, gave kudos and bookmarked! I'll see you guys in the next chapter and enjoy~! -Krystal
> 
>  _Stick around just like cigarette smoke, Like a dream I fell asleep but I never woke_ — Can’t Let Go (VALTN ft. Emilia Ali)

 

 

Tadashi never called back. 

 

It had been two days since they ended this thing between them and Tadashi didn’t call back. Hiro didn’t know how he felt about that. One part of him took this as a sign that he should finally move on but the other part was disappointed in himself. 

 

What was Hiro expecting? He was the one who ended the things between them. It wasn’t Tadashi’s fault. But he still hoped that Tadashi would’ve called back the minute he hung up. 

 

Hiro shouldn’t even ask of that from Tadashi, to be honest. Hiro was the one who ended what could be the best thing between them because of his insecurities. 

 

He sighed as he walked back to the cafe. Hiro had gone to the lab early this morning just to keep his mind from thinking about the actor. He would be lying if he hadn’t reached out to the phone just to call Tadashi, just to hear his voice one more time. But Hiro had to face reality, there was no future for them. 

 

As much as it pained him to say it, Tadashi’s world was too different from his. 

 

When he confessed to the actor, he hadn’t been asking for a relationship. He knew Tadashi didn’t see him the same way but Hiro had felt happy anyway when the man stayed for a while. He touched his chest as he crossed the street to get to the cafe. His heart ached at having to go through this entire process of forgetting the actor again—only this time, he had to make sure he permanently removed these emotions. 

 

He hadn’t told his aunt about it. He didn’t want to see her pity. He didn’t want to worry Cass either. She had enough of his mess of emotions. For now, he would have to just keep it all inside and work out a plan to get over these feelings. 

 

He walked into the cafe, immediately greeted by the sweet aroma of pastries. Hiro noticed Abigail who was busy with a customer at the cash register. “Hey,” Hiro said at her. Abigail looked at him before she smiled and nodded. 

 

“Cass is upstairs,” she said as she pointed to where the stairs led to the living room. Hiro raised his eyebrows at that. Cass wasn’t attending the cafe? 

 

“Oh,” Hiro said before he waved at her and head to the living room. Was Cass alright? She never dared to leave the cafe alone like this before. He walked through the archway as he called out for his aunt. “Aunt Cass?”

 

He walked into the living room and noticed his aunt, sitting and talking to someone. Cass looked at Hiro when the ex-actor walked in with a smile. “Hiro!” 

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows once more before his eyes landed on who was sitting next to Cass. The ex-actor froze and his eyes widened when he realised who it was. His heart stopped beating for a second. His mind blanked and he didn’t know what to say. 

 

He opened his mouth before he closed it, no words to describe what he was feeling at the moment. 

 

“What,” Hiro started as he looked back at his aunt. 

 

Cass beamed up at him before she stood up. “Look who came to visit you!”

 

Tadashi stood up as well, his hands in his pants pockets and his eyes blank. There was a cautious smile on the actor’s face but Hiro could see that it wasn’t genuine. Hiro took a step back before he blinked. “Why are you here?” Hiro asked. 

 

Cass’s smile dropped at the question. She frowned before she looked at Tadashi. The actor, however, simply looked away from Hiro to his aunt. “He’s shocked,” Tadashi said with a shrug. Then, he looked at Hiro before he grinned, wide and dangerous. “I missed you so, I came by.”

 

Hiro narrowed his eyes as he clenched his hands into fists. “Oh?” Hiro asked. 

 

“Well, why don’t you two talk?” Cass said as she walked away from Tadashi. She placed a hand on Hiro’s shoulder and squeezed it tight, her eyes locking with his for a moment. “I’ll be downstairs.”

 

Hiro nodded at her, smiling at her, trying to tell her that he was fine. Cass didn’t buy the look but she left them alone anyway. Silence washed in after that as Hiro looked back at Tadashi. They were silently staring at each other, nobody saying anything. 

 

Just then, he noticed the bag on the ground, next to Tadashi’s feet. Hiro’s eyes widened before he looked back at the actor. Before Hiro could open his mouth, Tadashi picked up his bag and walked up to him. 

 

“Show me to your room?” Tadashi said but it didn’t sound like a question. It sounded more like an order. Hiro’s hackles raised at that as he sharpened his gaze. 

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Hiro hissed out, anger washing into his words. Tadashi didn’t look fazed at the display of hostility and simply looked past Hiro’s shoulders. 

 

“I’m guessing your room should be there,” Tadashi said as he walked past the kitchens to the stairs. Hiro was left standing in confusion before he sighed loudly and followed the actor. Hiro watched how Tadashi seemed to have deduced exactly where his room was. 

 

A pang of irritation started to mix with confusion as he followed Tadashi into his room. The actor took a look around before he walked to Hiro’s bed and sat down at the edge, the bag in his hands dropped next to his feet. 

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro gritted out as he closed the door and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Why are you here?”

 

Tadashi looked at Hiro before he smiled. But the smile was different. It wasn’t Tadashi’s usual smile. This held an edge of danger to it that had Hiro dropping his hands to his side and back against the door completely. The confusion swirled in his mind even more. There was also some glitter of hopethat Tadashi had come all the way for him but immediately crushed it. 

 

No, he was not going to do this anymore. 

 

He wasn’t going to be swayed this time. 

 

He had made up his mind, damnit!

 

Tadashi, who hadn’t noticed Hiro’s internal argument with himself, had stood up and walked towards the ex-actor. The man stood in front of him, their feet touched before he placed his hands against the door, boxing Hiro in. 

 

The ex-actor took in a sharp breath when he realised how close they were. 

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro began, feeling Tadashi’s breath on his face. His heart picked up speed and his cheeks reddened. His palms started to sweat, the familiar drums of anticipation rushed through his veins when a pang of something hit him right in his chest. 

 

He had missed Tadashi. 

 

God, he missed him. 

 

The warmth that he felt from being close to him had Hiro forgetting for a moment what he was supposed to do. Tadashi touched his face with one of his hands, his touch soft. “I missed you,” Tadashi whispered. “I missed you a lot. I came all this way to see you because I missed you. Don’t I get a kiss for that?”

 

Hiro looked at his lips before he looked at Tadashi’s eyes. His mind blanked out once more before he leaned in close and subconsciously brushed the actor’s lips. The closeness was intoxicating and it filled Hiro’s senses, filling him up with this lightness in his chest, in his head. The pain in his heart eased away as he touched Tadashi’s shoulders. 

 

The shirt under his fingertips was soft too, everything about Tadashi had Hiro realising how much he had missed him. Missed touching him. “I,” Hiro began before Tadashi pushed himself closer to Hiro until they were flushed at every inch of their body. Hiro let out a breathless gasp at that, the warmth now radiated on his clothed skin. “Tadashi…”

 

Tadashi’s lips finally touched his and Hiro closed his eyes, kissing the man back. He looped his hands around Tadashi’s neck and buried one of his hands in that soft hair. He could feel the thrums of happiness drumming away in his chest as he sighed into the kiss. Tadashi pulled away after a while, his hands still on Hiro’s face and waist. 

 

“There you go,” Tadashi said slowly, their noses grazing. Hiro opened his eyes and met with the warm ones. Hiro could feel himself breathing harshly. There was this buzzing noise inside his head, but it didn’t cause any discomfort, in fact, it was a good type of haze. It was something that Hiro liked. 

 

Hiro wanted more of that haze. 

 

His entire body thrummed from the warmth and he wanted nothing more but to touch Tadashi even more. He placed his hands on the actor’s face, his fingers shaking. The shallow ache throbbed inside his heart. He hadn’t seen the actor for so long and he missed him. Tadashi smiled gently before he leaned into Hiro’s hands. Their noses brushed every time they breathed. 

 

They didn’t speak, just staring at each other. Hiro caressed Tadashi’s cheeks and relished on the skin underneath his fingertips. His heart’s strings tugged and he leaned in closer until their lips brushed again. Hiro needed to kiss him again, especially when the _want-need-miss-you_ flooded his brain like a broken dam. 

 

“Tadashi,” he began but the actor didn’t let him continue. Tadashi leaned in and kissed him again, this time they kissed longer. The actor pressed his body close against Hiro until all the ex-actor could do was cling onto the man. His brain short-circuited and he didn’t know how to breathe or think. He was limp against the actor, letting his muddled mind get carried away with this unspoken warmth in their touches. 

 

When they broke up apart, Hiro buried his face on Tadashi’s shoulder and looped his arms around Tadashi’s chest. The actor held him back just as tightly, silence washed in between them. Hiro felt his heart racing against his chest, taking away his breath. The feeling of affection threatened to take over his body. 

 

Tadashi brushed his hand through Hiro’s hair as they held each other. It was calming, Hiro noted blearily. 

 

“I love you,” Hiro said. 

 

The hand in his hair stilled. 

 

The haziness in his head quickly cleared just as soon as Tadashi froze. Hiro’s brain rebooted and he tensed when he realised what happened. The moment was broken and the warmth he felt started to feel like prickly pain the longer he stayed in this embrace. He took in a sharp breath and placed his hands on Tadashi’s chest before he pushed the actor away. 

 

Hiro leaned against the door, keeping the actor at arm’s length. Tadashi, in his state of shock, stumbled away a bit before he recovered and stood straight. His lips thinned and his eyes steeled but there was something akin to determination that could still be seen in them. 

 

Anger pulsated in Hiro’s mind, overtaking the affection he had felt for Tadashi a moment ago. 

 

“What the hell were you doing?” Hiro hissed out. “How dare you! How dare you come here and touch me like that! Why the hell are you even here?”

 

Tadashi continued to stare at him before he raised his eyebrows. “I missed you. So, I’m here.”

 

Hiro scoffed at that and crossed his arms. “Yeah, right. I’m in no mood to play around, Tadashi, so why don’t you just spill out the real reason to why you’re here.”

 

Tadashi shrugged as if Hiro was asking about the weather instead of his sudden appearance. “I missed you,” he said. “I don’t know what else you’re waiting for me to say.”

 

Hiro felt the irritation peaking in his mind. “Can you drop the innocent act?” Hiro growled. 

 

Tadashi’s entire demeanour changed immediately. He dropped his nonchalance and Hiro finally saw the emotions running in the brown eyes. There was anger in them and—hurt. There was still that determination in his eyes, but they were accompanied by sadness as well. Hiro felt uncomfortable, knowing full well that those emotions were because of him. 

 

The ex-actor looked away before he dropped his hands to his sides. Tadashi sighed and the noise itself made Hiro flinch. “I told you,” Tadashi said. “I’m not going to let you go.”

 

Hiro’s eyes widened and his heart picked up speed once more. The hope that he squashed started to bloom again. There was fuzziness clouding his mind at the thought that Tadashi didn't want to let him go, had flown all the way here just to make sure Hiro was still here. 

 

But the truth remained that they lived in two different worlds. Hiro couldn’t—wouldn’t do anything that would destroy Tadashi’s career. The actor should know better. The ex-actor thinned his lips and rubbed his face. 

 

“Go home, Tadashi,” Hiro said at last. “I told you, we’re done. I—I don’t want to do this anymore.”

 

“And I’m telling you,” Tadashi said as his hands circled Hiro’s wrists. They pulled Hiro’s hands from his face and the brown eyes bored into Hiro’s—emotions poured in them. “I’m not going to let you go.”

 

Hiro knew that Tadashi was trying. 

 

It wasn’t the man’s fault for what he felt inside. It was Hiro’s own insecurities, Hiro’s own demons that stopped him from trusting Tadashi too much. The anger that he felt when he saw Tadashi was actually for himself, never for the actor. The actor didn’t do anything wrong. 

 

Hiro tried to pull his wrists from Tadashi’s grasp but found that he couldn’t. 

 

“Please,” Hiro said at last, his voice weary. “I—”

 

“No,” Tadashi said. The actor let Hiro’s wrists go before the hands landed on the ex-actor’s waist. Hiro’s eyes widened as he was once more flushed again the man, their hips touching. Tadashi looked serious as the grip on his waist tightened a fraction more, as if Hiro would melt away from the embrace if held any looser. 

 

Hiro didn’t know how to react to that. 

 

Nobody was ever this forward before and his heart skipped a beat—in anticipation. 

 

Tadashi touched his cheek with his right hand while keeping a tight grip on Hiro’s waist with his left. The touch on his face was soft, in contrast with the one on his hip. Tadashi’s fingers grazed Hiro’s with tenderness. 

 

“Why?” Tadashi asked, his voice thick with sadness. Hiro looked at him, lips thin in a straight line. “Why do you refuse to let yourself trust in me?”

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro started, knowing Tadashi was right.

 

“You’re only hurting yourself,” Tadashi said with a sigh. “You’re hurting me.”

 

Hiro closed his eyes and tried to lean away, but the hands that held his body tightened their grip in warning. “I’m sorry,” Hiro said, opening his eyes to look at the actor in the eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Hiro could see the hurt in the man’s eyes, and something burned ugly in him at the thought that he did that. He had put that look on Tadashi’s face. He had hurt him. 

 

Hiro didn’t deserve him—at all. 

 

“Leave me,” Hiro said. “We can’t. You shouldn’t do this to yourself. You’re right. I’m hurting you. I’m—I—”

 

“Shut up,” Tadashi said as he tried to pull Hiro closer to him, as if trying to mould their bodies into one. Hiro’s cheeks blazed red at that thought and tried to breathe without feeling faint. His nerves were fried, his hands shaky and his legs weak in the knees. Hiro placed his hands on Tadashi’s shoulders and sighed. 

 

“What do you want?” Hiro finally asked, letting his forehead hit Tadashi’s shoulder. 

 

“You,” Tadashi said into his ear. “Just you.”

 

“You don’t love me,” Hiro said. 

 

“I’m falling for you,” Tadashi said and Hiro froze. The ex-actor pulled himself away a bit and looked at Tadashi in the eyes. 

 

“What?” Hiro said.

 

Tadashi smiled for a second before he dropped it. “I can’t say I love you back yet,” Tadashi said. “But I’m getting there.”

 

Hiro eyed Tadashi for a while before he shook his head. 

 

“Don’t run away anymore,” Tadashi said. “I can’t keep chasing you if you insist on running away all the time.”

 

Tears gathered in Hiro’s eyes. 

 

“I…,” Hiro began. 

 

“Please,” Tadashi pleaded. “Please, just stay with me.”

 

Something in Hiro broke as he crushed Tadashi in a hug, arms looped around the man’s chest as he held him tight, face buried in his shoulder. Tears escaped his eyes as he held back a sob. “I love you,” Hiro said, muffled. “God, I love you so much. I’m so sorry. I keep on hurting you. I keep on doing this to you. I’m—I’m ruining us with my insecurities. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

 

Tadashi hugged him, his hand once more in Hiro’s hair. “Don’t do this anymore,” Tadashi said, almost begging. “I’m getting tired of chasing after you. Just stop running and fall, okay? I’ll be there to catch you. Trust in me, please.”

 

Hiro’s heart stammered in his chest. “Why?” Hiro asked, his voice strained. “Why do you want me when I’ll only ruin us later?”

 

Tadashi sighed but it was soft, a gush of air in Hiro’s ear. “Because you’re worth it to me.”

 

Hiro clenched his eyes tight, the tears spilled out of his eyes. “Don’t,” he said as he held onto Tadashi closer. “Don’t say things like that.”

 

“You are,” Tadashi said. “I don’t know why you’re so sure you’re not meant for me, but Hiro, if you give me a chance, a proper chance, I can show you how much I can come to love you.”

 

Hiro opened his eyes and tried to push Tadashi away, to see his face. But Tadashi only kept his tight grip on Hiro, not allowing the ex-actor to pull away. “W—what do you mean?”

 

“It’s easy to fall in love with you, you know,” Tadashi said. “It’s just a shame you won’t let yourself believe that someone might care for you.”

 

Hiro quietened at that. “It’s easier than to let yourself believe in false hope and get hurt.”

 

Tadashi chuckled but it was dead, dark. “That’s how you learn.”

 

“Learn?” Hiro asked, the tears stopped but his heart now felt sore, so used. But it was healing, he could feel it. 

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said as he finally let Hiro go, pushing him away for a bit to look at the ex-actor in the eyes. He placed his hands on Hiro’s face, wiping the tears with his thumb. “Everything is an experience, Hiro. And everything is worth experiencing it at least once, even if you get hurt at the end. If you don’t, you’ll lose what’s sitting right in front of you and—I don’t wanna leave, Hiro. Don’t push me away.”

 

Hiro held back himself from crying again. The words pierced through his heart and they lodged itself deep inside. It made a dent that he wouldn’t recover from and he didn’t want to. Tadashi was right. 

 

But goddamnit, he was so scared. 

 

“I’m scared,” Hiro finally said. “I’m scared. So terrified that one day, you’ll realise I’m too much to handle. How—How do you—”

 

“Just trust in me,” Tadashi said with a soft smile. “For once. Just trust in me. I know it’s hard, but just…give me—us—a proper chance to start.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hiro said. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you that night. I shouldn’t have broken up with you. I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I won’t—I’ll try my best, I promise, don’t—”

 

Tadashi shook his head and placed a hand over his mouth, grinning, his eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “I won’t leave if you don’t push me away,” he said. “I’ll come back to you every time if you give me the chance. I’ll make you believe that we’re okay, that…that we can do it, alright?”

 

Hiro looked at Tadashi, eyes still wet from before. Those eyes were honest, true and Hiro couldn't believe he found someone like Tadashi, someone who saw through his masks and anger and found the real him inside. Someone that Hiro, for the first time, was going to allow besides Cass, to see the real him. 

 

Something finally gave in Hiro. 

 

He was tired. Hiro didn’t want to do this anymore. He didn’t want to confide in his insecurities anymore.

 

Hiro leaned in close and placed his head on Tadashi’s shoulder. “Okay,” Hiro said. “Okay.”

 

Hiro felt Tadashi relaxing. “Come on,” Tadashi said as he pulled Hiro to the bed. “Let’s take a nap. I didn’t sleep well these past few days.”

 

Hiro felt another twinge of guilt in his chest and opened his mouth to apologise only for Tadashi to lean in and kiss him. “Stop,” Tadashi ordered, shutting Hiro up. “Just…stop. I’ve forgiven you.”

 

The ex-actor blinked back the fresh wave of tears as he stared at Tadashi. Tadashi sighed but it was affectionate as he shook his head. He touched Hiro’s wrists and pulled him to the bed again. He sat at the edge of the bed and pulled Hiro close until he was straddling the older man. Hiro placed his hands on Tadashi’s shoulders and bit his bottom lip, picking at his shirt. 

 

“I love you,” Hiro said. Tadashi’s eyes shined and grinned. 

 

“Soon,” Tadashi promised as he placed a hand on Hiro’s hip and the other on Hiro’s head, caressing his hair. 

 

Hiro smiled too, his heart started to fill up. The switch that tormented him all this while, melted away. He was done. “You’ll really promise to catch me?” Hiro asked and Tadashi nodded. 

 

“Always,” Tadashi said as he gently grazed Hiro’s nose with his. “Forever, if you’ll have me.”

 

Hiro chuckled, his cheeks red. “Yeah, sounds good to me.”

 

Tadashi kissed him again before he leaned back on the bed and pulled Hiro on him. Hiro held onto Tadashi tight. Hiro pulled away from the kiss and looked at his lover in the eyes. “You do look tired,” Hiro said as he placed a hand on Tadashi’s face and caressed the cheek while his other hand was placed on the mattress. 

 

“I am,” Tadashi agreed. “Sleep with me?”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows before he pointed to the pillows. “I think we’re lying on the wrong direction,” he said. 

 

Tadashi raised his own eyebrows before he turned, pushing Hiro directly towards the pillow. Before Hiro could splutter out a response at what happened, Tadashi was on him, hands around his body and pulling him close to Tadashi’s chest. “Sleep,” Tadashi said as his chest pillowed Hiro’s head. 

 

The warmth was comforting, Hiro thought. He snuggled closer to Tadashi, his mind started to haze around the edges. He felt safe in his arms, and he liked it. Hiro wanted to stay in here forever, if he could and this time, he was going to give himself the benefit of doubt and say yes, forever. 

 

The hands around his body tightened. “Sleep,” Tadashi said, his voice slurry. Hiro looked at Tadashi and noticed that the man’s eyes were drooping. “You think too loud.”

 

Hiro chuckled but it sounded tired to his own ears. He couldn’t help but to lull into sleep before he could even respond to Tadashi. 

 

 

***

 

 

“Wait,” Hiro said as he munched on his cereal. They had just woken up and after all that talk, Hiro felt content that Tadashi was here. Despite everything, he had missed the actor a lot. Months without seeing him took a toll on him and to have Tadashi here, close to him, touching him was nice. 

 

Tadashi sat next to him on the couch in the living, his own bowl of cereal held on his palm. Tadashi hummed in response as he shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, looking at Hiro. “What?” he asked. 

 

Hiro made a face at that, now realising why Cass fussed about his eating manners. “How are you here?”

 

Tadashi furrowed his eyebrows. He swallowed and pulled the spoon out of his mouth. He pointed the spoon at Hiro before he said, “I thought we established this hours ago.”

 

Hiro frowned and rolled his eyes. “No, I mean, you said you were busy,” Hiro said. “Like full schedule and everything—can’t come to see me for the next how many years or something.”

 

Tadashi grinned. “It’s not years, Hiro,” he said, fondly. Hiro grinned back. 

 

“You know what I mean,” Hiro said. “How are you here with your busy schedule?”

 

Hiro took a spoonful of cereal and shoved it into his mouth. 

 

“Uh, yeah, about that,” Tadashi said, laughing awkwardly. Hiro furrowed his eyebrows as he munched on his cereal. He didn’t like the sound of that. 

 

“Tadashi?” Hiro said. 

 

Tadashi sighed and placed the spoon and bowl on the coffee table, hands up and palms outwards. “Before you yell at me, just know, I missed you—like a lot. I couldn’t go another day without seeing you.”

 

Hiro felt his heart skip a beat and the affection overwhelming him as he made a strangled noise at the back of his throat, cheeks red. “Tadashi,” he began. Tadashi’s eyes sparkled in happiness. “Don’t change the subject.”

 

Tadashi’s eyes coloured in guilt immediately. Hiro scowled even though he felt pretty content inside. “What aren’t you telling me, Tadashi?” he asked as he waved his spoon around at the man. “Come on, spill it.”

 

Tadashi grinned weakly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Just, promise me you won’t yell at me.”

 

Hiro was starting to worry. “Tadashi, what is it?” he asked as he placed his own bowl and spoon on the coffee table, facing the actor. 

 

Tadashi sighed before he said, “I left.”

 

Hiro blinked. “Left what?” he asked.

 

Tadashi winced as he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay, so, uh, after our last phone call, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but you, and no, stop it, I said it was fine, so it’s fine,” Tadashi said when Hiro flinched at the incident. When Hiro nodded at last in acknowledgement, Tadashi continued, “And honestly, with all the schedules and interviews—it’s starting to get to me. And…I’m starting to feel a bit lonely, like I’m not happy. I wasn’t happy for a long time, I realised, especially when you aren’t with me here. So…I left.”

 

Hiro watched him carefully and when he realised Tadashi wasn’t joking, his eyes widened and tensed. “Are you telling me,” Hiro began. “That you quit?”

 

“Resigned,” Tadashi said with another weak chuckle. “Surprise?”

 

“What the—“ 

 

But before Hiro could say anything, Tadashi immediately stood in front of him and sat at the edge of the coffee table, hands on Hiro’s knees. “You said you weren’t going to get angry!”

 

“How the hell did you expect me not to get angry, what the fuck did you do, Tadashi?” Hiro screeched, hands flailing. “You just quit your entire career, a career, might I add, you worked really hard for!”

 

Tadashi though didn’t look remorseful about that. Hiro was baffled. Tadashi worked really hard to get on that A-list and now he just left it all behind? And for what? 

 

Hiro narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t…please tell me you didn’t just leave behind your entire future just because I—”

 

The grip on his legs increased as Tadashi frowned, shaking his head. “No,” he said firmly. “No, Hiro. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. And—it’s my decision, entirely. You, you did influencein the ‘weighing the pros and cons’ process but the decision I made is entirely me. No, I didn’t quit my job for you, not that I don’t care about you like that but—”

 

Hiro raised his hand up to cut Tadashi off. “But Tadashi,” he said. “That was your whole life!”

 

“Exactly,” Tadashi said gently as he smiled at Hiro. “Was. Not is. Was. I used to like it but now…I’m tired of all the fake smiles and getting interviewed like I’m the next big thing when ten years from now, I’m going to be easily replaced. Hiro, I wasn’t happy.”

 

Hiro knew how that felt. He had felt it years back and he didn't regret it at all that he left that life behind. He knew how Tadashi felt. He sighed as he placed a hand on Tadashi’s and gripped on his fingers. “You sure?” he asked. “You sure you want to leave it all behind?”

 

Tadashi relaxed and nodded, confident. “I’m sure.”

 

“Is that why you brought your suitcase?” Hiro said, gesturing towards the stairs leading to his bedroom. 

 

Tadashi’s cheeks reddened as a sheepish smile painted on his face. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go…and I just really wanted to see you, so. Could you, ah, let me stay here just for tonight? I asked Cass about it and she said it’s fine. But—if it’s not alright with you, I’ll get a motel or something…”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Hiro said as he bit his bottom lip, cheeks reddening. “I, ah, want you to stay. Maybe…you can stay here for a week or something. Or until you get to your feet or…I—”

 

“You want me stay with you?” Tadashi asked, a big smile on his face. 

 

Hiro looked away, clearing his throat as he felt his entire body flush. “Y-yeah,” he said. “Just, spare bedroom. Not mine.”

 

“Aww,” Tadashi said and Hiro’s eyes widened when he felt a hand on his cheek, brushing the strands of hair from fanning his face. “But you’re comfortable.”

 

“Shut up,” Hiro said bashfully as he slapped Tadashi’s hands away from his face and looked at the man, who still had that dumb happy grin on his face. “Are you really happy then?”

 

Tadashi’s grin dimmed into a genuine smile as he nodded. “Yes,” he said. “I told Henry and he’s not happy with me, of course, but my contract’s almost over. In fact, tonight on midnight, I’ll be free.”

 

“What about the other movies you were going to shoot for?” Hiro asked. 

 

Tadashi shrugged. “They’ll have replacements on hand,” he said. “I’m not that special, Hiro.”

 

Hiro understood what Tadashi was trying to say. Everyone was expendable in that particular industry. But Hiro still found Tadashi special, even if the whole world had million other people just like him. “I still find you special,” Hiro said under his breath. 

 

Tadashi simply chuckled. “I still find you special too, Hiro. That is without a doubt.”

 

“Dork,” Hiro said.

 

“Nerd,” Tadashi countered. 

 

Hiro rolled his eyes and stood up. “Come on, I’ll show you the bathroom and you can take a shower. Then, we’ll go out for a walk or something.” After a second he added, “If you want to.”

 

Tadashi nodded and stood up. “I’d love to.”

 

Hiro smiled, beaming happily. 

 

 

***

 

 

Hiro walked into the kitchen, the used bowls in hands. He saw Cass sipping her cup of water, leaning against the sink when he entered the kitchen. Cass saw him and smiled, moving away from the sink. 

 

“Hey, how’s Tadashi?” Cass asked as Hiro placed the bowls in the sink. Hiro then turned around and leaned against the sink. 

 

“He’s fine,” Hiro said and smiled. 

 

“You didn’t look too happy that he’s here a few hours ago,” Cass said as she sipped on her water, eyebrows raised. Hiro’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment and cleared his throat. 

 

“We got into an argument a few days ago over the phone,” Hiro bit out, cringing at the memory. He realised now how stupid he had been acting, how he had let his insecurities get the best of him. “Actually, it was my fault.”

 

Cass hummed as she placed her glass of water on the counter next to her. “So, what was the fight about? Did you guys make up?”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said. “The fight—I just got insecure, that’s all. Typical idiotic me. I got scared he’ll figure out how troublesome I’m being and leave. I thought—I thought before it got to that…I’ll leave first.”

 

Cass’s eyes widened for a moment before she sighed. “Hiro,” she started. 

 

“I know! I was being an idiot,” Hiro said as he looked away from his aunt. 

 

“It’s alright,” Cass said. Hiro glanced at her to see her smiling at him. “You’re new to this. Hiro, you’ll learn to trust him. Just remember, communication is everything. If you have any doubts, dear, just tell him, alright?” 

 

Hiro felt his heart becoming lighter. He couldn’t help but to smile brightly at his aunt. What did he even do to deserve such understanding people like his aunt and boyfriend? “Thanks, Aunt Cass,” Hiro said. 

 

She nodded before she waved her hands to the direction of the living room. “So, where is he now?”

 

Hiro’s smile slid off his face, replaced with a worried frown. “He went to take a shower. You don’t mind if we eat dinner outside, do you? I mean—I—”

 

“It’s fine,” Cass said, her eyes shining. “In fact, I was about to go out for dinner myself.”

 

Hiro frowned deeper. “Where are you going?”

 

Cass’s cheeks reddened and she stood straight. “Well, Teo asked me to join him for dinner at this new restaurant that just opened up…and I said yes.”

 

Hiro’s eyebrows disappeared behind his bangs. “Who’s Teo?” 

 

“Just some guy I met,” Cass said flippantly. 

 

“Some…guy,” Hiro said. “Some guy? Really, Aunt Cass? Some guy?”

 

Cass smiled sheepishly for a minute before she shrugged. “Okay, so, he’s a doctor,” Cass said and rolled her eyes. “I met him a few weeks ago and we’ve been…hitting it off quite well…”

 

Hiro wondered briefly how much he had missed his aunt’s life and sighed. “So, a date then, tonight?” he asked, teasing a bit. 

 

“Maybe,” Cass said as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I hope so. I really like him, Hiro.”

 

Hiro smiled at her. “I’m glad you do, Aunt Cass. You should get ready then.”

 

Cass grinned back, obviously excited about her date-to-be. Hiro felt slightly guilty for neglecting her. He should’ve been the first person to know about Teo and yet, here he was, after weeks of Cass with Teo, he just heard about him now. 

 

Hiro vowed he would pay more attention to his aunt. He had ignored her enough. 

 

“Speaking of people we like,” Cass said. “How long is Tadashi staying?”

 

Hiro shifted his weight from one foot to the other before he said, “Well—is it alright if he stayed for a while?”

 

Cass frowned a bit. “Is he going to stay for long?”

 

“Yes?” Hiro said, shoulders tensing when Cass frowned even more, confusion coloured her eyes. 

 

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Shouldn’t he get back to his job soon? Last I heard, he had movie offers lined up. You told me that yourself.”

 

Hiro rubbed the back of his neck, smiling warily at her. “Right, about that,” he said. “Tadashi…quit his job.”

 

Cass’s jaw went slack and her eyes widened, shock clear on her face. “What?” she asked. 

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said with a sigh. “He told me he wasn’t happy about his job and he quit. The contract ends tonight, midnight.”

 

“But he worked so hard!” Cass said, still shocked. Hiro nodded at her before he shrugged. 

 

“He’s feeling what I’m feeling, Aunt Cass,” Hiro said. “He wants out like I wanted.”

 

Cass sighed as well before she smiled warmly. After a second, she nodded as she shrugged. “He can stay,” Cass said. “He’s nice to talk to.”

 

Hiro grinned and chuckled. “He is nice to talk to, I agree,” Hiro said before he nodded. “I’ll tell you more about it later when we don’t have dates to get ready for.” After a minute, he furrowed his eyebrows and frowned, “That sounded weird.”

 

Cass laughed. “Go on, check on him. We’ll talk later.”

 

 

***

 

 

Hiro opened his bedroom door and walked inside, freezing in his steps when he saw Tadashi, hands on his belt. Tadashi froze too, hair damp from the shower and shirtless. Hiro’s face reddened and he made a strangled noise at the back of his throat, turning around quickly. 

 

“What the hell, Tadashi!” Hiro said, hands flying to his eyes even though he had turned around. “There’s a bathroom for that!”

 

“What?” Tadashi asked, sounding amused. “Never seen a shirtless man before?”

 

Hiro felt the back of his neck heating up. “God, you could’ve changed in the bathroom instead of in my room!”

 

“I don’t like changing in the bathroom,” Tadashi said, unapologetically. After a second, he laughed. “Come on, Hiro. It isn’t as if you hadn’t seen me shirtless before.”

 

Hiro bit his inner cheek from yelling at him that it was different now. He huffed out his breath and dropped his hand from his eyes, crossing his hands. He glared at his door. “What? Just because I happened to have acted with you shirtless at times doesn’t mean I got used to it!”

 

“Why?” Tadashi asked and Hiro realised that the man had gotten closer, especially when his voice seemed louder. “Shy to see me all of a sudden because it means something now?”

 

Hiro’s face, if it was any possible, turned redder. He growled under his breath, annoyed and turned around to point to Tadashi’s face that he wasn’t shy! But then his finger met the flesh of Tadashi’s chest and Hiro took an automatic step back, his back hitting the door when he noticed that the actor was less than inch away from him—still shirtless and his jeans hanging low on his hips, the belt loose.

 

“W—what the—” Hiro began but Tadashi only raised his eyebrows, clearly amused. 

 

“Your face is all red,” Tadashi said as he took another step forward, his chest bumping against Hiro’s. Hiro’s brain almost melted and his mind blanked. He had no idea what was happening. 

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro began as he frowned at the man. “You’re being a bully again.”

 

Tadashi, the jerk, simply grinned. “Come on, sweetie,” he said as he placed his hands on Hiro’s cheeks, caressing them with his thumbs. “You have to get used to seeing me shirtless soon. You know, when the time comes, we both have to be shirtless anyway—or even more—”

 

Hiro spluttered out a response, making a noise borderline embarrassing (he would deny it was a whimper, damnit!) and slapped a hand over Tadashi’s mouth, face and neck as red as a tomato. “What the hell is wrong with you all of a sudden?” he demanded hotly, feeling shy and unlike himself. 

 

Tadashi made an impressive move with his eyebrows, nonverbally asking Hiro what he meant. “You know what I mean!” Hiro said as he dropped his hand. “You’re being extra teasing now.”

 

Tadashi’s grip on Hiro’s face tightened a bit and he pulled Hiro closer until their noses touched. “I like seeing you all red like that,” Tadashi said, his voice low. 

 

Hiro’s eyes widened, his heart racing in his chest. Who was this man in front of him? Where did his sweet innocent boyfriend go? Who was this seductive piece of teasing jerk here? 

 

But Hiro liked it and that was even more embarrassing to admit. 

 

“Especially when I know I’m the one who caused you to turn all blank and pliant like this,” Tadashi continued, one hand dropping to Hiro’s waist. 

 

Hiro’s entire body flushed and for a moment, he was lost in Tadashi’s eyes clouding with something dark and primal—and then he snapped out of it when he realised where he was. He quickly pushed Tadashi away, taking in gulps of air, back plastered on the door and eyes wide. 

 

His knees felt weak as he slid to the floor, eyes still on Tadashi like he was seeing a new person. Tadashi grinned, his entire demeanour changed from dangerous to childish glee. 

 

“What…happened,” Hiro asked himself and Tadashi chuckled, crouching down to look at Hiro. 

 

“You okay?” he asked, some concern in his eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to push it too far. I just like teasing you.”

 

“You teased way too much,” Hiro said, brain still catching up to what he had witnessed.

 

God damn. 

 

Woah.

 

Yeah, okay, Hiro definitely liked that new side of Tadashi, judging from how fast his heart was racing in his chest. 

 

Tadashi immediately frowned, amusement washed away and seriousness coloured his features. “Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said. “I would never do anything you don’t want. Never. I was just playing around.”

 

Hiro’s attention snapped back to Tadashi before his brain registered what Tadashi said. He breathed out in affection for the man. God, what a dork. Such a considerate, idiotic dork—except for whenever he decides to be seductive—then that’s…hot. Hiro scowled. “I know that,” he said. “I meant—who the hell did you portray just now? You look so…different.”

 

“What?” Tadashi asked, confused for a bit. “Uh, that was all me?”

 

“You mean you’re going to turn into that whenever we do anything—uh, stuff?” Hiro asked, his cheeks reddening again. Tadashi tilted his head to the side a bit before his eyes shimmered in glee. Hiro scowled again. 

 

“Are you telling me I look hot to you when I want to kiss you and touch you and practically devour—” Tadashi asked with a teasing smile, trying to scoot closer. Hiro simply glared at him. 

 

“Shut up,” Hiro cut him off as he crossed his hands. “Just. Shut up.”

 

Tadashi grinned though, as if Hiro had handed him the moon. It melted Hiro’s stubbornness immediately and he sighed. 

 

“Yes, okay,” Hiro said, but refusing to look at the man, knowing Tadashi was grinning even wider like the idiotic dork he was. “You looked really—hot when you’re in the mood. Can we change the subject now? And can you please wear a shirt already?”

 

Tadashi, however, scooted closer before he touched Hiro’s cheeks. “Hey, look at me,” he said. Hiro looked at him and tilted his head upwards a bit, raising his nose. 

 

“What?” Hiro asked. Tadashi grinned before he leaned in close and kissed him. 

 

Hiro froze for a second before he kissed him back, hands by his sides, curled into fists. 

 

“What was that for?” Hiro asked under his breath when they broke apart. 

 

“I wanted to kiss you,” Tadashi said. “God, you mean so much to me.”

 

Hiro felt his heart skip a beat before he raised a hand and placed it on Tadashi’s cheeks, staring into those honest brown eyes. 

 

“You mean a lot to me too,” Hiro said. “You have no idea how much.”

 

“I might have an idea,” Tadashi said as he leaned in again. “Because I’m starting to realise I’m better off by your side.”

 

Before Hiro could respond, he was being kissed again and Hiro didn’t fight back. 

 

Tadashi’s words wrapped his mind and heart and blanketed him in the warmth he craved for so much. 

 

 

***

 

 

“Are you sure the paparazzi won’t find you here?” Hiro asked as they walked at the sidewalk. Tadashi wore a cap on his head and a pair of glasses on his face. Hiro thought that was the worst disguise ever but Tadashi thought he looked unrecognisable enough. 

 

Hiro wasn’t so sure. 

 

Tadashi glanced at him before he shrugged. “Henry and the company are releasing the news two days after the contract ends. They won’t know until then.”

 

Hiro wasn’t convinced. He knew how nosy paparazzi could be. They literally swarm around like flies on these types of news. Especially if it was regarding about Tadashi. “Does Honey know?” Hiro asked after a minute of silence. The hand that was currently holding his, tightened. 

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said and looked at Hiro from the corner of his eyes. “She knows.”

 

“Oh,” Hiro said. 

 

Hiro waited for the usual flare of jealousy whenever her name was involved in a conversation but was surprised to notice that he had felt—nothing. He glanced to see that Tadashi was looking at him carefully, eyes searching his to find any trace of hurt. Hiro only grinned at the man. 

 

Tadashi blinked, clearly taken aback at Hiro’s sudden casualness. “You okay?” he asked. 

 

Hiro nodded. “I’m not jealous of her anymore,” Hiro said as he squeezed their hands. 

 

Tadashi raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” he said, amused once more, his lips curling upwards. “Why is that?”

 

“Because,” Hiro said and stopped walking to look at the man in the eyes. “Because you’re mine now. Forever and ever—and she can never have you. And I trust you that you won’t leave me either.”

 

Tadashi looked happy to hear that, his entire face beaming as he pulled Hiro closer by their joined hands and placed a hand on his cheeks. “That’s right,” Tadashi said. “I’m yours, forever and ever and I won’t leave you either. You’re as good as mine, Hiro. Too late to back out now.”

 

“Don’t wanna back out anyway,” Hiro said as he leaned in and pecked Tadashi’s lips. “What about the dating rumours though?”

 

“I have to give a press conference sometime soon to clear everything up, from why I’m leaving to clarifying that I’m not dating Honey,” Tadashi said with a shrug. “But it’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”

 

Hiro placed his free hand on Tadashi’s hand that was on his face and squeezed. “I trust you,” Hiro said, looking the man. “I mean it this time. I trust you.”

 

Tadashi looked like he finally got what he wanted and nodded. “I promise to never break your trust and cherish it carefully. Hiro, I promise you that.”

 

“And I promise to cherish the trust you have in me too,” Hiro said and grinned. “Forever and ever.”

 

“Forever and ever,” Tadashi agreed. 

 

Hiro then took a step back and looked ahead. “Come on,” Hiro said. “We should probably eat dinner now. Did you know Aunt Cass is dating this doctor named Teo? I didn’t even know that! She’s on a date with him tonight.”

 

“Oh?” Tadashi said. “You do realise your aunt needs a partner too, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said, reluctant to admit that he was a bit scared of losing his aunt’s attention if Teo came around. “I should meet him soon.”

 

“Uh oh,” Tadashi teased. “You’re gonna assess him if he’s good enough for her or something?”

 

“Yes, of course,” Hiro said, matter-of-factly. “I want the best for her! And if this Teo guy is it, he better be the best man I have ever met.”

 

Tadashi chuckled. “I thought I’m the best man you ever met?”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes and bumped his shoulders against Tadashi’s. “You know what I mean.”

 

Tadashi nodded before he halted and pulled on Hiro to make him stop too. “Hiro,” he started. “You do realise she’s never going to stop loving you, right? Even if Teo came around?”

 

Hiro looked at the man for a second and sighed, crowding Tadashi’s personal space and let his head drop on Tadashi’s shoulder. “How did you know what I was thinking about?” Hiro asked, solemnly. 

 

“It’s easy to read you when I’ve paid attention to you for so long,” Tadashi said with an affectionate sigh. Hiro felt Tadashi’s fingers caressing the back of his neck softly. “She’ll be fine.”

 

“What did I do to deserve you both?” Hiro mumbled as he broke their joined hands and hugged Tadashi tight, burying his face deeper into Tadashi’s shoulder. 

 

“You deserve better than me,” Tadashi said. “But I’m too selfish to let you go and want you to settle for me instead.”

 

Hiro chuckled under his breath and shook his head. “Don’t be an idiot,” Hiro said as he pulled away a bit and looped his hands around Tadashi’s neck. The actor’s hands circled Hiro’s waist, smiling. “You’re so good to me that sometimes, I wonder if you’ll ever realise that I’m too much trouble one day and leave.”

 

“Never,” Tadashi said. “I’m in it for good.”

 

“For good, huh?” Hiro teased. But Tadashi nodded seriously. 

 

“For good,” Tadashi said. “There’s nothing you could do that’ll make me leave you. Nothing. We might as well get married soon because that’s how serious I am.”

 

Hiro’s eyes widened as he stared at the man, speechless at what Tadashi had said. “What—marrying?” Hiro squeaked out. The grip on his waist tightened and Tadashi  nodded again. His eyes were dead serious and Hiro felt his heart skip a beat at that. “Are you serious?”

 

“Yes,” Tadashi said without hesitation. 

 

“But you haven’t even said you loved me yet,” Hiro said, wanting to take a step back, unable to due to the hands on his waist. “Tadashi—”

 

“I’m getting there,” Tadashi said. “Contrary to popular beliefs, I’m not that good with emotions, Hiro. But I’m so damn sure that I want to be with you forever and permanent—including the married stuff.”

 

Hiro couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his ears turning red and his eyes just wide open. Tadashi then started to look nervous when Hiro remained silent. Hiro realised that Tadashi had really meant them, especially when the man’s shoulders drooped as if Hiro’s silence was rejection itself. 

 

Oh god. 

 

Hiro couldn’t help but to feel this swell of affection bursting in him as he hugged Tadashi tight, burying his face against Tadashi’s neck, laughing and almost crying at the same time. “Goddamn you jerk,” Hiro said. “That’s the worst proposal in the history of marriage proposals.”

 

Tadashi chocked on a relieved laugh. “Is that a yes?”

 

Hiro pushed himself away, hands on the actor’s shoulders before he rolled his eyes, emotions whelming him. “What do you think? Did you think I was going to say no?”

 

“You might,” Tadashi said, biting his lips. “It’s too soon.”

 

“It is,” Hiro agreed. “But I still accept it. If you think you can handle me and my issues.”

 

“I can,” Tadashi said. “And only if you can handle mine too.”

 

Hiro laughed and grinned. “You’re amazing, Tadashi. You can throw anything in my way and I’ll still think you’re amazing. I love you, so much. You’re never going to be anything short than amazing to me.”

 

Tadashi looked relaxed now and smiled. “You too, Hiro,” he said as he leaned in close once more. “We’re engaged. That sounds nice. You’re my fiancé.”

 

“Dork,” Hiro said as he rolled his eyes and kissed him. 

 

Fiancé. That did sound nice. To think once that they weren’t even sure where they were headed to when they started this. “Come on,” Tadashi said as he pulled away from the kiss. “I really am hungry.”

 

Hiro nodded. “Yeah, me too, fiancé,” he said and watched in satisfaction when Tadashi’s face reddened, a happy grin on his face. They linked their hands again, fingers intertwining as they continued to walk. 

 

“Fiancé,” Tadashi said. “I really like the way that sounds.”

 

“Dork.” Hiro rolled his eyes, even though he agreed secretly. 

 

He really liked how it sounded too.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: ...TA-DA! A NEW UPDATE! THE VERY NEXT DAY! WHHHAAT? IS THIS THE SAME KRYSTAL? FLUFF AND EARLY UPDATES??? WAS SHE KIDNAPPED BY AN ALIEN OR SOMETHING??? Lol, though, in all seriousness, I wanted to quickly finish this entire story up. The next chapter is probably going to be the last. An epilogue. 
> 
> I also have a one-shot after this story, so this story is going to go on a bit longer. Still, this main plot though is going to end! This is technically the last chapter and the next chapter is most probably going to be an epilogue. :D Wow, the journey! The pain I put the characters and you guys through, I'm glad you guys liked this story a lot. :) It makes me happy knowing what I write, (no matter how bad) is well-accepted. 
> 
> Thank you to those who have commented, bookmarked, subscribed and gave it a kudos. Let me know what you guys thought about this chapter and until the next and final chapter~! -Krystal
> 
>  _I can see the light shining in your eyes even when you’re falling asleep_ — Burning It Up All Night (Sweet Talker)

 

The news of Tadashi leaving the industry hit the tablet news exactly two days after the contract ended. Hiro blinked blearily wondering what woke him up when he heard his phone ringing on the bedside table.

 

Groaning, Hiro had picked up the phone and grunted out a hello when Gogo’s frantic voice came through. 

 

“Hiro, have you seen the news?” Gogo said. Hiro blinked a few times, mind still numb from the sleepy haze. 

 

“Huh?” Hiro croaked out, sitting up and leaning his back against the headboard, rubbing his eyes. “What?”

 

“The news,” Gogo said, impatiently. “I sent you a link. You should read it.”

 

Hiro frowned and sighed. “What is it about?”

 

“Tadashi left his acting career,” Gogo said. “He just upped and left!”

 

Hiro’s brain finally caught up to what was happening. He yawned before he nodded, rubbing the back of his neck from the crick he got. “Oh,” Hiro said. 

 

“Well?” Gogo asked when Hiro didn’t continue on his thoughts. “Is that all?”

 

“No, I mean,” Hiro began. “I knew about it already.”

 

Gogo went silent for a bit before she breathed out. “Oh,” she said. “How?”

 

Hiro blinked again before he bit down his bottom lip, realising he hadn’t told Gogo about Tadashi’s sudden appearance. Though, it wasn’t like he didn’t trust in her to tell her, it just he didn’t want anyone to know that the actor (well, ex-actor now) was here. There was some part of him that wanted to keep Tadashi with him and not let anyone else know about his location. 

 

He liked it that way, keeping something about Tadashi to himself, even though he felt guilt that he hid that away from Gogo. 

 

“He came here,” Hiro said, at last. “He came here, Gogo, two days ago. He told me then.”

 

“Wait, you mean he’s staying with you now?” Gogo asked. 

 

Hiro shifted a bit before he sat straighter. “Yeah,” Hiro said. “He is.”

 

“Oh,” Gogo said. 

 

“Look, it’s not like I didn’t want to tell you but—”

 

“I get it,” Gogo said. “But it would’ve been good to know anyway so I didn’t have to worry about how you’ll be acting about this news, you know.”

 

Hiro chuckled, relieved that Gogo wasn’t angry at him. “Thanks, Gogo,” he said. “Again, I don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like you.”

 

“I know right,” Gogo said with a playful snort. “So, tell me, how is he?”

 

“He’s fine,” Hiro said as he sighed. “He said he wasn’t happy being an actor and decided to quit.”

 

Gogo sighed, sounding wistful. “You really hit the jackpot, you know? Romantic to boot.”

 

“He didn’t do it for me,” Hiro said. “He did it for himself.”

 

“But he still came to you,” Gogo said. “He didn’t go anywhere else. He found you at the end of the day.”

 

Hiro felt his heart fluttering in his chest. “Yeah,” Hiro agreed, a smile on his face. “He did, didn’t he?”

 

“I’m guessing you’re happy now?” Gogo asked. Hiro huffed out softly. 

 

“I am,” he said. “I really do love him a lot.”

 

“I bet,” Gogo said. “You loved him even after it’s been 3 years of unrequited love.”

 

Hiro hummed under his breath. “Unrequited love sucks,” Hiro said. 

 

“Well, it’s requited now,” Gogo teased him and Hiro’s cheeks reddened as a goofy grin fitted on his face. 

 

“I guess,” he said. He didn’t question about Tadashi’s feelings for him anymore. After what happened two days ago, he was convinced that one day, Tadashi would tell him he loved him. The goofy grin on his face threatened to widen when he recalled that they were engaged. 

 

God, they were _engaged_. 

 

It was still a secret, nobody but the two of them knew about it, not even Cass knew about it and there were no rings; but it was still perfect in Hiro’s books. They weren’t ready to really get married but the thought that one day in the future they might, it made Hiro fall for Tadashi even more. 

 

“Hiro?” Gogo said. “You there?”

 

“I’m here,” Hiro said. “Sorry, got lost in my head for a bit.”

 

Gogo chuckled. “Ugh, I can feel the love fluff all the way here. I’m gonna gag, be right back.”

 

“You’re just jealous,” Hiro said. 

 

“Maybe,” Gogo said with another one of those wistful sighs. “I hope to meet a guy I can fall madly in love too, you know.”

 

Hiro dimmed his grin into a warm smile. “You’ll find him soon,” Hiro encouraged. 

 

“If even you, Mr-I-Don’t-Believe-In-Love, can find someone, I guess there might be someone for me out there too, huh?” she said. 

 

“There is,” Hiro said. “One day.”

 

Just then the door to his room was knocked. Tadashi’s head peaked in from where the door opened and he grinned when he saw Hiro was awake. “Tadashi’s here, I have to go,” Hiro said when he smiled at his boyfriend. 

 

“Hah! So smitten already,” Gogo said and Hiro rolled his eyes. “Go on, I’ll talk to you soon, idiot.”

 

“Sure, princess,” Hiro said and held back his giggles when Gogo spluttered indignantly. “I’ll talk to you soon! Bye!”

 

Before Gogo could yell at him for the nickname, he hung up. He was absolutely sure he was going to get punched the next time he met her for that. His heart warmed at the thought of having a friend like her. He would’ve long given up who he truly wanted to be if it wasn’t for her. 

 

“Hey,” Tadashi said as he closed the door and leaned against it. “Someone looks cheery in the morning.”

 

Hiro waved his phone at Tadashi before he placed it on the bedside table. “I was talking to Gogo,” Hiro said. “The paparazzi found out about you leaving. It’s all over the news.”

 

Hiro got out of bed and headed to his desk, picking up the tablet. He went to the tablet news icon and looked through the news, and just like Gogo said, every online magazine were reporting about Tadashi’s sudden departure from the acting industry. 

 

A pair of hands wrapped around his waist and Tadashi placed his chin on Hiro’s shoulder, looking at the tablet. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back?” Hiro asked after a minute of staring at the news. 

 

Tadashi chuckled and shook his head. He placed his hands on the tablet and pulled it out from Hiro’s grasp. He placed the tablet on the desk and flushed himself against Hiro’s back, humming under his breath, hands back around Hiro’s waist. 

 

“No,” Tadashi said. “I don’t regret it, if that’s what you’re asking.”

 

Hiro sighed as he leaned into Tadashi, placing his own hands on top of Tadashi’s. “It’s just, I can’t help thinking that you wasted so much time working hard for it and then you left it all behind just like that.”

 

“I didn’t actually waste all my time if we’re getting technical about it,” Tadashi said. “I met you, didn’t I? I think that counts for something.”

 

Hiro snorted. He brought one of his hands and patted Tadashi’s cheek. “Don’t be a sap in the morning,” he said. “It’s too early to deal with your cheesiness.”

 

Tadashi chuckled before he pecked Hiro’s cheek. “Good morning, by the way,” Tadashi said. “I really don’t like sleeping alone.”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes and stifled a yawn. “Sorry, I don’t share my bed,” Hiro said as he gently pushed Tadashi away and turned around. “Speaking of bed, I’m heading back to sleep.”

 

Tadashi raised his eyebrows as he slid his hands off Hiro. “It’s almost nine,” he said. 

 

“Nine? Hell no,” Hiro said as he walked to his bed and slumped face first on his pillow. He then turned his head to look at Tadashi, who was looking at him amused. “I don’t wake up until at least noon. So, shoo. Go and be a son Aunt Cass never had.”

 

Hiro did a shooing motion with his hand and closed his eyes. 

 

A minute later he felt Tadashi sitting at the edge of the bed. Hiro cracked open his eyes and found Tadashi crawling into the bed and disappearing from his view, settling behind him. “What are you doing?” Hiro asked. 

 

Tadashi, once more, wrapped his arms around Hiro, pulling the shorter male up against his chest. Hiro sighed under his breath as he turned around. Tadashi adjusted his grip until their legs entangled and Hiro was lying close to Tadashi, faces inches away. 

 

“Trying to sleep?” Tadashi said, grinning. He brought his hand and caressed Hiro’s hair. Hiro’s eyes fluttered closed for a while, enjoying the way Tadashi’s fingers felt in his hair. “Can I?”

 

“Can you what?” Hiro asked, his brain hazy again. He could fall asleep any moment now.

 

“Sleep with you now,” Tadashi said. 

 

Hiro opened his eyes and looked at the man. “I should kick you out of my bed,” Hiro said. “I don’t think Aunt Cass would like you very much if she found you trying to sneak into my bed whenever she’s not looking.”

 

Tadashi laughed a bit before he rolled his eyes. “She adores me,” Tadashi said, knowing full well that was true. Cass had taken up with Tadashi almost immediately, treating him like how she treated Hiro, full of affection and care. She even made her special hot wings on their first dinner together. 

 

She liked Tadashi a lot if she brought out the hot wings. 

 

“Lucky,” Hiro said but he smiled. “Fine, whatever. Just let me sleep.”

 

“You’re cute when you act all brattish,” Tadashi said. Hiro scowled and glared at Tadashi.

 

“I’m not a brat!” Hiro said. 

 

“Aww, sorry, acting like a princess, I mean— _ouch_!” Tadashi yelped when Hiro slapped his shoulders. “What was that for?”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes again and turned around, back facing Tadashi and scooted away from him a bit. Tadashi immediately latched himself against Hiro’s back, burying his face in Hiro’s hair. “Are you pouting?”

 

“I’m not pouting,” Hiro said as he sniffed. “I don’t think someone who calls me a princess and a brat should have the privilege of holding me while they slept.”

 

“ _Hiro_ ,” Tadashi whined as he tightened his grip around Hiro. “Don’t be mad. I really like holding you.”

 

Hiro bit back a grin that threatened to cover his face. “I don’t know, maybe you should move away and sleep on the other side. I _am_ a brat, after all.”

 

“No, no, you’re not,” Tadashi said. “You’re amazing and cute and kind and charming and handsome and—”

 

“A princess?” Hiro prodded, though he wasn’t really angry. He wondered what would happen if he kept this fake anger up. Tadashi sighed as he pulled away and nudged Hiro to lie down on his back. Tadashi placed a hand over the other side of Hiro’s head and caged him in. 

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms. “I’m sorry, why are you still in my space?” Hiro asked even if the smile still threatened to break through his mock frown. 

 

Tadashi looked at him for a minute before he grinned, his eyes shimmered in amusement. “I’m sorry,” he pleaded before he buried his face against Hiro’s neck, nose rubbing against it. Hiro suppressed a shiver that ran down his spine. “Forgive me?”

 

“Tadashi,” Hiro began when he felt Tadashi’s hot breaths fanning his sensitive neck. “You manipulative jerk, stop that.”

 

“Stop what?” Tadashi asked, mock innocence dripping from his voice. “I’m just trying to apologise to my cute boyfriend here.” Hiro scoffed at that and placed his left hand against Tadashi’s shoulder, trying to push him away. 

 

Tadashi, however, just gave Hiro a wet smack of his lips against his neck, making Hiro squeal. “Tadashi!” Hiro exclaimed, face reddening as he grabbed Tadashi’s hair and pulled on it, harshly. 

 

Tadashi groaned in pain as he pulled his head away from Hiro’s neck, hand flying to where Hiro gripped his hair and trying to loosen the grip. Hiro loosened his fingers and glared at the man. 

 

“What?” Tadashi asked as he pushed Hiro’s hand away from his head and rubbed his bruised scalp. 

 

“Don’t ‘what’ me, you big jerk!” Hiro said as he mock frowned. Tadashi was such a teasing bully, but Hiro would be lying if he said he didn’t like it. He liked everything about the man, even his cheesy lines. But he would never, in a million years, tell Tadashi that. 

 

He suspected the man already knew what those things did to Hiro.

 

Tadashi smiled and laughed before he sighed and placed his head on Hiro’s chest, looking at him with those innocent bright eyes. “I can’t help it,” Tadashi said. “You’re too adorable.”

 

“I dare you,” Hiro threatened without heat. “Say I’m adorable or cute, _one_ more time.”

 

Tadashi’s eyes glinted in mischief as he pulled away and supported himself by his elbows, leaning in Hiro’s face again. 

 

“ _Tadashi_ ,” Hiro warned. 

 

“You’re adorable _and_ cute,” Tadashi said. 

 

Hiro sighed and patted Tadashi’s cheek. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Hiro said and the next thing Tadashi knew, he found himself toppled to the ground, landing on his butt. Hiro leaned over the edge of the bed to look at Tadashi, who stared at him, bewildered at what happened. “You can stay on the floor.”

 

With that, Hiro turned around and brought his blankets against his chest, closing his eyes. Hiro finally let himself smile when he felt Tadashi crawling back to bed and settling next to him, hands cautiously wrapping around his body and pulling him close to Tadashi’s chest. 

 

“You’re scary sometimes, did you know that?” Tadashi muttered under his breath and Hiro chuckled and opened his eyes to look at Tadashi. 

 

Hiro laughed when he realised that the man was pouting. Tadashi pouted even more and scooted closer to Hiro. “Don’t laugh at me!” Tadashi said petulantly, like a child.

 

“God, I think I accidentally gotten myself engaged to a five-year-old child!” Hiro said, breathless from laughing. Tadashi cracked a smile and laughed a bit too. 

 

“Yeah, you’re engaged to me and only me,” Tadashi said. Hiro hummed as he laid his head on Tadashi’s chest and flung a leg across Tadashi’s thighs, trapping the older man underneath him. 

 

“Only to you,” Hiro agreed. Hiro lost his sleepiness now, so he just let himself be limp on Tadashi, listening to the gentle rhythm of the man’s heartbeat. It calmed him down and it was peaceful, especially when Tadashi had started to pet his head again. 

 

“Henry called me,” Tadashi said after a while. Hiro hummed, asking Tadashi to continue non-verbally. “I have to attend a press conference next week.”

 

“Ah,” Hiro said. “It’s going to be chaos, Tadashi.”

 

“It’s worth it,” Tadashi said. 

 

“It is,” Hiro said as he took in a deep breath. “If it makes you happy at the end of the day, then it’s worth it.”

 

“I’m thinking, once this whole mess settles down, I want to do something I like,” Tadashi said. 

 

“Like what?” Hiro asked as he looked at Tadashi. 

 

Tadashi shrugged. “Probably go back to school, get a degree. Be useful in other industries.”

 

Hiro contemplated that for a second before he bit his inner cheek. “You seem to have an idea what you want to do though,” Hiro said. 

 

“Biomedicine,” Tadashi said. “Or maybe robotics. I haven’t decided between the two degrees yet—but they both sound interesting.”

 

“I didn’t know you wanted to study medicine,” Hiro said before he frowned. “Or robots.”

 

“More or less,” Tadashi said. “I actually wanted to be a doctor when I grew up, before I found out I had a knack in acting.”

 

“A doctor?” Hiro said, amused at the idea. “Dr Tadashi Takachiho. Hah, sounds classy.”

 

Tadashi chuckled. “Sexy?” he asked and Hiro thumped his hand gently on Tadashi’s chest. 

 

After a minute, he reluctantly said, “Yeah,” he said. 

 

“Good to know,” Tadashi teased but Hiro slapped him again on his chest. “Okay, okay, stop abusing me. You’re going to bruise me!”

 

“You deserve it,” Hiro said. “You’re not so innocent, are you?”

 

“I don’t know why they think me as innocent,” Tadashi said. “I’m really not.”

 

Hiro froze for a moment as his eyes widened. His cheeks reddened as he pushed himself a bit to look at Tadashi in the eyes. “You mean—you think about those things a lot?”

 

“About ‘those things’?” Tadashi asked with a grin. Then, with a mock gasp, he said, “Oh, you mean _those things_ , like kissing and groping and hands underneath clothes—”

 

Hiro slapped a hand over Tadashi’s mouth, heart rocketing against his chest as his body flushed. There were images threatening to appear in his mind at the moment that he successfully manage to push away at the last minute. “Tadashi,” Hiro said, whining. “You’re going to kill me.”

 

Tadashi pulled the hand away from his mouth and kept his grin. “I just really like teasing you,” Tadashi said. “It’s a way for me to show you that I’m happy—really happy that I’m here, with you like this.” 

 

Tadashi intertwined their fingers and brought Hiro’s fingers to his mouth, brushing them against his lips gently. Hiro grinned and snuggled back against the man, tucking his head underneath Tadashi’s chin. 

 

“Me too,” Hiro said. “I love being with you like this. Here, with me.”

 

“Forever and ever,” Tadashi said. 

 

“Forever and ever,” Hiro agreed. 

 

 

***

 

 

The day Tadashi would be leaving to L.A. for the press conference arrived too quickly for Hiro’s liking. He knew that Tadashi wouldn’t be gone for more than a day but still the thought of letting Tadashi go so soon after they found each other made Hiro antsy. 

 

“You really should stop looking like I’m going to die,” Tadashi joked as he looked at Hiro. The ex-actor though tensed as he gripped on the steering wheels tight, driving Tadashi to the airport. 

 

“You might,” Hiro said with a frown. “Paparazzi can be like vultures. They prey until they pick you apart in pieces.”

 

Tadashi sighed and Hiro noticed that he didn’t look any better than Hiro did, either. “I know,” Tadashi said as he played with the sleeves of his long-sleeved buttoned up shirt. “But I’ll make it out alive.”

 

Hiro gave Tadashi a fleeting smile. “I just don’t like press conferences for a reason,” Hiro said, remembering the days he had to be in one. The paparazzi were relentless until he almost threw a table at them, never mind yelling or shouting. 

 

“I know, I’ve been there for some of them, remember?” Tadashi pointed out. “Trust me, I wasn’t doing any better, either.”

 

Hiro chuckled, mood lightening as he recalled the time when Tadashi had actually snapped at one of the reporters. “You were in a bad mood that day,” Hiro mused. “That guy almost cried.”

 

Tadashi chuckled before he breathed out. “It was a bad day for me.” After a while, he added, “It was my parents’ death anniversary.”

 

Hiro froze for a minute and immediately, what happened that day made sense. Tadashi had been tense, snappy and his stares were blank, so unlike him. Hiro, at that time, reluctantly even noticed that Tadashi was paler than usual. Hiro was wise that day and refrained himself from picking a fight with him. 

 

Tadashi had left the conference room immediately without even saying goodbye to anybody once the conference ended. 

 

“Makes a lot of sense now, what happened that day,” Hiro said. “I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Tadashi said. “It wasn’t like I told you about it.” He smiled at Hiro before he looked outside of the window. “This will be my last press conference anyway. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Yeah,” Hiro said. 

 

After a minute, Tadashi said, “I’ll be fine,” he said. “I’ll come back to you as soon as I can.”

 

“You better,” Hiro said as he mock glared. “Or I’ll hunt you down.”

 

“Well,” Tadashi said, grinning. “I’ll make sure not to let that happen then.”

 

Hiro chuckled and shook his head. “Good luck,” Hiro said. 

 

Tadashi only smiled even if Hiro could see the nervousness in his eyes. Hiro placed a hand on Tadashi’s knees and squeezed before he pulled away. 

 

 

***

 

 

Gogo was in front of him, sucking on her smoothie through the straw. Hiro, meanwhile, wasn’t paying that much attention to her, his thoughts on what was happening in the press conference. Hiro glanced at his phone for the umpteenth time, checking the time. 

 

Tadashi said he would call when the press conference ended. It had been almost an hour since the press conference started. It was live too, but Hiro couldn’t bring it in himself to watch it. He was too antsy to watch it without freaking out. 

 

“Hiro?” Gogo said. “Calm down, God. Your boyfriend is probably fine!”

 

“Fiancé,” Hiro said, absent-mindedly as he fiddled with his fingers. He realised a bit too late what he had said when he heard Gogo sucking in a sharp breath. “Oh—wait—”

 

Hiro yelped when Gogo kicked him sharply under the table. He rubbed his shin and winced at the death glare Gogo aimed at him. “What?” she asked, annoyed. “I just thought I heard you say something that I never heard about before, Hiro. Mind repeating that?”

 

Hiro gulped and tried to smile. “Uh, surprise?” Hiro said. 

 

God, he was such an idiot. 

 

Didn’t he promise himself he wouldn’t let anyone know until the time was right? He felt immediately guilty when he noticed the hurt look on Gogo’s face. He sighed and rubbed his face. He knew he shouldn’t have hidden it from Gogo, especially when she had held his hand in his roughest times. The least he could do was to tell her when something like this happened to him. 

 

“Gogo, I’m so sorry,” Hiro said and Gogo sighed. “It wasn’t like I didn’t want to tell you but—I just…I just wasn’t ready to tell anyone about that. I…I wanted to keep it a secret, just…something mine for a while. Not even Aunt Cass knows that we’re engaged. Gogo, I’m sorry, don’t take it the wrong way.”

 

Gogo looked at Hiro before she rolled her eyes and touched Hiro’s hands. “Calm down,” she said. “I’m not mad. I get it. If you’re not ready to tell me something, I shouldn’t push you. You know I’ll wait for you to tell me.”

 

Hiro smiled at her, once again awed by how understanding she could be. 

 

Then, Gogo’s eyes sparkled and Hiro knew that he couldn’t escape her now. “How did he propose?” Gogo asked. 

 

Hiro scowled at her and playfully pulled his hands away from her grasp. “Hey! For all you know, I could’ve proposed to him!”

 

Gogo raised her eyebrows, sceptically at him. Hiro frowned and dropped his shoulders in defeat. “Okay, fine, he proposed,” Hiro grumbled. 

 

Gogo smirked and Hiro had an urge to blow a raspberry at her. “Tadashi is just too noble like that,” Gogo said. “Of course, he’ll propose first.”

 

Hiro coughed at that. “But it’s the worst proposal in history of proposals.”

 

Gogo once more raised her eyebrows at him, swishing her hands around. “How did he propose?”

 

“He just blurted it out, and not even the words ‘Will you marry me?’ but more like ‘I’m serious about us, so might as well we get married soon because I’m that serious’ type of thing,” Hiro explained. 

 

Gogo bit her bottom lip and Hiro could see she tried to refrain herself from laughing. “Oh god,” Gogo said and slurped her smoothie. 

 

“I know you want to laugh, Gogo,” Hiro said as he crossed his arms. 

 

Gogo shook her head. “It’s just, that’s so cute, Hiro,” Gogo said. “I mean, it’s romantic.”

 

“What?” Hiro asked, baffled a bit. “How is that romantic?”

 

“He’s so sure that you two will make it that he’s willing to just be your fiancé than your boyfriend,” Gogo said. “That’s romantic.”

 

Hiro thought about it for a moment before he nodded. “Well, when you put it that way,” Hiro said before he groaned. “Great, it isn’t enough that he’s cheesy, now this.”

 

“Cheesy?” Gogo asked, once more trying to look nonchalant and failing miserably. “Please don’t tell me he actually goes Shakespeare on you?”

 

“Worse,” Hiro said even though the warmth filled his heart when he recalled Tadashi’s nonsensical sappiness. “He actually goes ‘You’re so cute’ or ‘I’m so glad I met you’ and even ‘My life would probably be meaningless without you’ and not to mention his teasings are borderline harassments at times.”

 

Gogo didn’t look convinced with his complaints. “But you like it,” Gogo said before she mock gasped. “Oh no, you actually _love_ it!”

 

“Shut up, Gogo,” Hiro said as his cheeks reddened. “You’re right. Damnit, I love it.”

 

Gogo threw her head back and laughed. “God, you’re so gone, Hiro. Forget forever, you’re with him even after death do you part.”

 

Hiro grinned and his heart skipped a beat at that. “You know what?” Hiro said. “You’re right.”

 

Gogo wiped an invisible tear. “My baby grew up so fast.”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes and gently kicked her. “Shut up.”

 

“You shut up, brat,” Gogo said as she kicked him again. Hiro winced and shook his head as he rubbed his shin. Just then, his phone rang and Hiro immediately picked up, not even letting it get to the second ring. 

 

“Hello?” Hiro answered and he locked eyes with Gogo, who mouthed the words ‘so gone’ to him. He just waved her off. 

 

“Hey, I’m done with the conference,” Tadashi’s voice came through, tired but sounding relieved. Hiro pulled his phone away and noticed that it had been two hours already. 

 

“Oh, how was it?” Hiro asked. Gogo took that as her cue and stood up, waving goodbye to Hiro. Hiro waved back at her as he settled back into his seat properly. 

 

“Hectic,” Tadashi said. “They really pried everything from me.”

 

Hiro furrowed his eyebrows, concerned. “Are you okay?” Hiro asked. 

 

“I’m fine,” Tadashi said with a weak chuckle. “I’m just very exhausted.” 

 

“I bet,” Hiro said. “Vultures. All of them.”

 

“They asked about Honey and I,” Tadashi said. “She was there, by the way.”

 

Hiro hummed as he looked at the table. “What did you say?”

 

“The truth,” Tadashi said. “I told them we broke up and we’re happier being just friends.”

 

Hiro remained quiet for a bit before he said, “What did Honey say?”

 

“She backed me up,” Tadashi said. “She says hi by the way.”

 

“Oh,” Hiro said, blinking. “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said. “She’s friendly, Hiro. You should really get to know her.”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes. As much as she no longer caused irrational jealousy in his heart, he still didn't completely like her. “Sure,” Hiro said, more for the sake of entertaining Tadashi than meaning it. 

 

“Not going to happen in this lifetime, then?” Tadashi asked, teasingly. 

 

“Pretty much, yeah,” Hiro said and bit down his bottom lip when Tadashi laughed. Hiro heard some rustling at the back and said, “Where are you? It sounds quiet at the back.”

 

“My hotel room,” Tadashi said. “Later I have to meet with Henry for one last time and check over the details of my retirement. Including selling the house and stuff. Boring things.”

 

“Will you be able to finish it all up before tomorrow?” Hiro asked as he frowned. 

 

“Yeah, should be,” Tadashi said. “I don’t think I want to stay here more than a day anyway. I miss you a lot already. Tonight is going to be hell.”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows. “Why would tonight be hell?”

 

“Don’t tell me you won’t miss me holding you tonight?” Tadashi asked, mock hurt in his tone. “Hiro, I need to hold you every night!”

 

Hiro snorted. “Might I remind you, you did not hold me every night, alright? It happened only like twice.”

 

“We need to change that as soon as I’m back,” Tadashi said. Hiro chuckled and sighed. 

 

“You’re not going to change anything,” Hiro said. 

 

“We’ll see,” Tadashi said and there was a hint of challenge in his voice that sparked Hiro’s competitive streak. 

 

“I’m telling you, you won’t win this one,” Hiro said. “I don’t share my bed. It’s mine and mine alone.”

 

“I’m your fiancé!” Tadashi said. 

 

“So?” Hiro asked. “You got your own bed there, buddy.”

 

“I can change you yet!” Tadashi vowed and Hiro laughed, enjoying their banter. 

 

“I miss you too, Tadashi, in all seriousness,” Hiro said. “I do feel lonely without you here.”

 

Tadashi quietened down for a while. “I know,” he said. “I love you.”

 

Hiro immediately sat straighter, breath hitching in his throat and eyes widened. Tadashi took in a sharp breath too, as if he had realised what he said. 

 

“What?” Hiro asked, his heart picked up speed and his ears ringing. 

 

Did he hear what he just heard?

 

“I…,” Tadashi said and he took in a deep breath. “Hiro, I love you.”

 

There was a disbelieved laugh from Hiro as he blinked. “You’re…you said it,” Hiro said. 

 

“I—I did,” Tadashi said, sounding as flabbergasted as Hiro felt. “Hiro,” he said, sounding happy and excited. “ _Hiro_!”

 

“Y—Yeah?” Hiro said. 

 

“I’m in love with you,” Tadashi said. “I love you.”

 

Hiro was speechless as he took in what was happening. Tears gathered in his eyes as he bit his bottom lip. “I love you too,” Hiro said, feeling lightheaded. Finally, finally he could add the ‘too’ at the back of the ‘I love you’s. He could finally do that. 

 

“I love you,” Tadashi said. “I love you. I love you and I love you.”

 

Hiro laughed, wiping his eyes. “Are you going to keep saying that over and over?”

 

“Yes,” Tadashi said, sounding serious. “I love you, Hiro. I need you to know that, okay? I love you.”

 

“Goddamnit, Tadashi, just get home, okay?” Hiro said as he blinked back the fresh wave of tears. “I want to hear it in person.”

 

Tadashi chuckled, sounding overwhelmed. “I’m taking the morning flight out tomorrow,” he said. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too, you dork,” Hiro said. 

 

 

***

 

 

Hiro waited for Tadashi to land. From the arrival/departure boards, he knew that Tadashi’s plane had landed five minutes ago. He would be coming out of the gate soon and Hiro felt like a hot mess inside. Tadashi had finally said those three words that he longed to hear. 

 

And he couldn’t even believe it until now that Tadashi had said them. Half of him was convinced that it was just a dream but he knew for sure that it was reality, that it had happened. That Tadashi, the man Hiro had been in love for almost four years with, had returned his feelings a hundred percent. 

 

Hiro held his breath when his eyes landed on Tadashi, who walked out of the gate with a cap on. His brown eyes landed on Hiro and he grinned wide, jogging towards the shorter male. Hiro blinked once and by the second blink, Tadashi was standing in front of him, solid and in person. 

 

Hiro immediately hugged him, burying his face into Tadashi’s shoulder. Tadashi hugged him back just as tight, his nose buried in Hiro’s hair. 

 

“You’re back,” Hiro said as he pulled away a bit to look at the man in the eyes. “You’re only gone for a day but I still missed you like crazy.”

 

Tadashi smiled, warm and eyes filled with affection. He cradled Hiro’s face in his hands and leaned in close. “I love you,” Tadashi said and Hiro’s eyes widened. 

 

That certainly wasn’t the first thing he thought he would hear—but Hiro wasn’t complaining. Tadashi kissed him before he could say anything else. It was so cliche that Hiro cringed inside at how they turned into that couple, the mushy ones with over-excessive PDA that could make people gag, but at the same time, he couldn’t care less. He could see why it was so easy to get swept away with it.

 

“I love you too,” Hiro said as he broke away from the kiss. “I love you too.”

 

“I’m going to say it a lot from now on, just so you know,” Tadashi said. “I love you, a lot. I’m never going to get tired saying that.”

 

Hiro shook his head, his eyes wetting. “How can you be so cheesy,” Hiro complained but he smiled nevertheless. “I love you too, a lot.”

 

Tadashi grinned before he took a step back and held out his hand. “Let’s get back home, I missed your aunt’s cooking,” Tadashi said as Hiro held his hand, fingers intertwining. His heart warmed even more when Tadashi called his house a home. 

 

It was…nice. 

 

“She missed you too,” Hiro said. “I think she sulked the minute you left. I’m getting kinda jealous that you’re taking away my spot from her heart.”

 

“Aww, you’ll always be number one in my heart though,” Tadashi said, not missing a beat. Hiro’s cheeks reddened as he sighed. 

 

“I’m doomed to this lifetime of sappiness, aren’t I?” Hiro asked. Tadashi bumped his shoulders a bit and chuckled. 

 

“You love it anyway,” Tadashi said. 

 

Hiro secretly agreed but he would never tell Tadashi that. As they headed to the car park, Hiro asked, “Did the they ask you why you left?”

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said as he rubbed the back of his neck. Hiro located his car quick and unlocked it, getting into the driver’s seat with Tadashi in the passenger’s seat. “Told them I wasn’t happy and that I’m no longer interested in acting.”

 

“They didn’t question why you broke up with Honey too?” Hiro asked, fully aware how nosy paparazzi could be. 

 

“Oh, trust me, they did,” Tadashi said. “I didn’t spill anything besides ‘We’re happier as friends’, which is true, by the way.”

 

Hiro nodded. “They don’t know about us, then?”

 

Tadashi looked at him before he frowned. “No,” he said. Then, he fidgeted in his seat. “Did you want them to know?”

 

“No,” Hiro said as he sighed in relief that Tadashi hadn’t told them. “I…like it that it’s none of their business.”

 

Tadashi nodded, relaxed as well. “I’m gonna be the best fiancé ever,” Tadashi said. “Don’t forget, I still have to change your mind about the sleeping arrangements.”

 

Hiro laughed as he glanced at Tadashi, who looked back at him with a playful smile on his face. “Like I said, we’ll see,” Hiro said. 

 

Tadashi nodded, challenge clearly accepted from the way his eyes brightened and Hiro could only hope that he wouldn’t give in so easily and let Tadashi win. Even though, Hiro knew that that he already lost the moment he provoked Tadashi. 

 

Hiro would give him anything and give into anything if it made Tadashi happy. 

 

And Hiro wouldn’t change a thing because he knew Tadashi would do the same to him too. 

 

“Hey, Hiro?” Tadashi said. Hiro hummed as he continued to drive. “I love you.”

 

Hiro felt his heart skip a beat as he glanced at the man. “I love you too, dork,” Hiro said. “I’m driving here, I might crash if you keep on saying that without warning.”

 

Tadashi simply grinned. “I love you a lot, so I’m not going to stop saying it.”

 

Hiro felt light inside as he smiled, bright. “I love you too, and I’m not going to stop saying it back.”

 

“Good,” Tadashi said as he placed a hand on Hiro’s knee and squeezed. 

 

Yeah, Hiro thought. 

 

It was all good now. All good at last.

 


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Weeelll! Here we are. At the end of this long journey! It's been so much fun writing this story. I'll ramble more at the end of this epilogue, so for now, enjoy! :D
> 
> P.S.: Listen to MitiS - Life of Sin (Pt.4) while reading this. :D

  **Epilogue**

 

 

It had been two years since the entire Tadashi leaving the acting industry fiasco happened. The world moved on like how Tadashi predicted, but he would forever be remembered as one of the youngest A-list actor that had ever left the industry months after he received the title. 

 

In another sense, the world thought Tadashi was a bit crazy for letting such an opportunity go. 

 

Hiro wondered once in a while if the man regretted his decision, but every time Hiro asked Tadashi about it, he simply grinned and said, “Eh, it wasn’t for me after all.”

 

Two years had passed and the best part of it all, they were still together. 

 

Engaged. Betrothed. To-be-married-someday. 

 

_Together_. 

 

Hiro loved that word. 

 

“Hey,” Hiro said as Tadashi walked into his room, sighing. Hiro raised his eyebrows as the man head to his bed and slammed face first on the pillows.

 

The shorter man looked at his fiancé for a minute before he shrugged and went back to the computer, typing away to finish up his latest project. 

 

Hiro had gotten a job as a freelance engineer consultant under robotics and occasionally taught classes in SFIT whenever the school decided to have some extra classes for their students. It paid decent, and Hiro had enough money from his acting career to mind about it. 

 

Tadashi, on the other hand, after the world calmed down about Tadashi’s decision to leave the acting industry and the paparazzi no longer chased after him with cameras and microphones, he enrolled himself in SFIT under robotics while minoring in biomedicine. 

 

Hiro hadn’t even realised Tadashi had graduated a year early from high school until Tadashi said that he was going to apply to SFIT.

 

_“You do realise you need excellent grades to enter there, right?” Hiro had asked while he was working on a project, staring at the screen and frowning a bit._

 

_“Yeah, I know,” Tadashi had said as he sat at the floor, back against the bed, reading books like Basics to Robotics. “I graduated a year early in high school. Something about learning and adapting quickly and getting a good GPA.”_

 

_Hiro had frozen and turned to look at his fiancé, eyes wide. “Wait, what?”_

 

Tadashi had only looked confused as to why Hiro exclaimed at him when he found out Tadashi was actually a genius underneath all that—weirdness. It wasn’t as if Hiro underestimated Tadashi’s intelligence, he just didn’t think Tadashi was—that smart. 

 

Well, this was another thing he found to love about Tadashi, so Hiro didn’t complain. In fact, Hiro was proud of him. Proud to call Tadashi as his one-true-genius-lover.

 

“Someone’s in a mood,” Hiro muttered as he glanced at Tadashi, who was trying to shove his face into the pillows. “Something happened?”

 

“Just tired,” Tadashi said, voice muffled. Hiro looked back at the project currently on his screen and continued to type, adjusting his reading glasses once in a while. Darn glasses. He hated them…but after realising his eyesight was getting bad due to late nights staring at the computer, he had to get a pair. 

 

“Oh,” Hiro said. “Okay.”

 

Tadashi groaned after a while. “Still working on that project?”

 

“Yeah, last minute tweaking and I’ll be able to send this off to her,” Hiro said, absent-mindedly, still focused on the screen and not paying attention to his fiancé. 

 

“When will you be done?” Tadashi asked. 

 

“Uh,” Hiro said and then shrugged. He frowned when he noticed a miscalculation there at the end and sighed, wanting to slam his head on the desk. Great, he had to recalculate that last part all over again. 

 

“Hiro,” Tadashi said. “You’ve been cooped up here for the past week.”

 

“Uh, just give me a minute,” Hiro said. “Or an hour. A day sounds good.”

 

“Uh huh,” Tadashi said. Hiro didn’t notice much about his surroundings until he felt someone leaning next to him, hand on the desk and the other at the back of his chair. “That’s wrong, at the end there.”

 

Tadashi pointed to the calculation that Hiro was correcting. 

 

“I know,” Hiro said with a sigh. “I’m recalculating it.”

 

Tadashi huffed. “That’ll take another week at least!” 

 

Hiro stopped typing for a minute before he took down his glasses and looked at Tadashi. He realised that the man was tense, his eyebrows furrowed and a deep frown on his face. “Okay,” Hiro said as he pushed his chair back, causing Tadashi to stand back. “You’re snappy.”

 

Tadashi looked at Hiro and raised his eyebrows. “And why would I be snappy?” Tadashi asked. 

 

Hiro frowned at the tone and leaned against his chair. “Okay, obviously you’re upset about something,” Hiro said. “So, spill. I’m all ears.”

 

Tadashi sighed and dropped his shoulders. “About time,” Tadashi said and Hiro’s eyebrows flung upwards in surprise. 

 

“Excuse me?” Hiro asked. 

 

Tadashi’s frown twitched to smile as he walked to the bed and sat on it. “I said, it’s about time.”

 

“About time?” Hiro asked. “About time I listened to you?”

 

“Yeah,” Tadashi said. Hiro only looked at him confused. What the hell did that mean? Tadashi noticed the confused look on Hiro’s face and huffed. “When was the last time we even talked?”

 

“Lots of times,” Hiro said.

 

“Really?” Tadashi asked, obviously sceptical. 

 

“Yes!” Hiro said. “Like yesterday night we—”

 

We what? Hiro blinked, recalling he had been in his room the entire night working on this project. Hiro slumped back in his seat, flicking through memories of the past month. 

 

He didn’t remember ever conversing to anyone that didn’t involve ‘hey’ and ‘gotta go, work to do’ in them for a while now. Hiro frowned and looked at the older man. “Huh,” Hiro said. “Looks like I haven’t been sociable this month.”

 

Tadashi snorted but Hiro could see him trying to fight back a smile. “You think?” Tadashi said. “You didn’t so much say hello to me, just grunts and hums whenever I tried to talk to you.”

 

“Well, you know, work?” Hiro said as he waved to the computer. “This is the most important one yet, Tadashi. I don’t have time to be sociable right now.”

 

“I know,” Tadashi said and his shoulders slumped, dejected. “I just miss you, I guess.”

 

Hiro smiled at him and got up. He stood in front of Tadashi before he straddled his legs and hugged him tight. “Sorry,” Hiro said as he breathed in Tadashi’s scent, burying his nose against Tadashi’s neck, hands on his shoulders. “I promise we’ll go out on a date and spend the entire day together the minute I’m done with work. I miss you too.”

 

Tadashi chuckled and hugged Hiro back, sighing. “You should pop down and talk to Cass once in a while too, she missed you as well.”

 

“I will,” Hiro said as he pulled back to look at the man. He placed on hand on Tadashi’s face, caressing his cheeks and brushing the bangs softly away from his forehead. “Just a little bit longer, okay?”

 

Tadashi nodded. “I get it,” he said and smiled. “I love you.”

 

Hiro grinned, cheeks reddened. “I love you too, dork,” Hiro teased and leaned in to kiss him. 

 

Tadashi gripped Hiro’s waist and kissed him back. 

 

 

***

 

 

The project was done and life was good. Hiro even had a proper conversation with Cass this morning, mostly about Teo. Hiro didn’t like Teo at first but once he met him, Hiro realised that Cass had chosen the right guy after all. 

 

The man was nice and kind and often talked to Hiro, tried bonding with him. Hiro liked him. Tadashi liked him too. 

 

Teo even told Hiro once that he was lucky to be with Cass—and that he hoped he would be a part of the family soon too, to which Hiro had replied that he would like that too. 

 

Hiro wouldn’t mind someone like Teo joining the family. In fact, it would be nice to see his aunt with someone who cherished her. He had seen countless times whenever Teo came around for dinner or just to hang out or even help around the cafe that his entire world revolved around Cass. 

 

Never letting her stress out or made her mad. Hiro liked that about him, how he was gentle with Cass and was soft-spoken. 

 

Hiro approved of Teo more than he would ever approve of anyone in his life, excluding Tadashi.

 

“You two should get married soon,” Hiro said to Cass and she choked on her coffee. 

 

“Uh,” Cass said, speechless. 

 

“I mean, he loves you, you love him, I like him, heck, Tadashi even adores him, role model or something like that, so,” Hiro said as he grinned at Cass and shrugged. 

 

Cass’s cheeks reddened and she looked away, scratching the back of her neck. “I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about it,” she said and then sighed. “I mean, I even hinted on it.”

 

Hiro raised his eyebrows. “Is he doing anything about it?”

 

Cass bit her bottom lip and said, “Well, he had been acting suspicious lately—and tonight he wanted to bring me out for dinner—said it was an extra special night, I’m thinking…”

 

Hiro’s eyes widened and he felt a jolt of excitement at the thought that maybe, tonight was the night for his aunt. “He could be proposing to you tonight?” Hiro asked. 

 

Cass shrugged but her eyes looked hopeful. “I do hope so,” she said. “But I’m not hoping much. I don’t want to get disappointed.”

 

Hiro nodded but he couldn’t help but to be hopeful for his aunt’s behalf. “Tell me about it anyway what tonight is about,” Hiro said and Cass nodded. 

 

“Meanwhile, you’re staying out of your room longer today,” Cass said and Hiro laughed sheepishly. 

 

“I finished with my latest client and I’m taking a break,” Hiro said. “Sorry, Aunt Cass, for neglecting you for the past month.”

 

Cass smiled before she ruffled Hiro’s hair. “It’s alright, dear,” she said. “I was just worried about you, that’s all.”

 

Hiro nodded and said, “I’ll try not to coop myself so long next time. Even Tadashi whined.”

 

Cass chuckled, her eyes sparkled. Tadashi, at the end, was given a place to stay permanently in Cass’s home. She refused to let Tadashi go when the man proposed to find his own place—guilt at crashing at her place for too long. 

 

Hiro knew Cass got attached to Tadashi already and she, at the end, decided to give Tadashi a permanent home, even when Tadashi tried to refuse it. It took Cass one whole month of bribing Tadashi with home cooked meals and hot wings and—god forbid—her famous pies for Tadashi to break down at last and give in. 

 

Hiro, secretly, liked that Tadashi stayed here instead of somewhere else. It was a selfish thing to wish for his fiancé to stay close to him always—but that was what he wanted, and he was happy he got it. 

 

“Anyways, I’m gonna take a shower,” Hiro said as he walked out of the kitchen. Cass waved at him with a smile. 

 

 

***

 

 

By the time lunch-hour rolled in, Hiro and Tadashi were curled up on the couch in the living room and watched television, while Cass went out to run an errand. Hiro munched on his chicken sandwich, eyes glued on the screen while Tadashi lied back on the arm of the couch, one foot on the couch, bent and the other on the floor, carelessly sprawled. 

 

“This show’s boring,” Tadashi said after a while. “Can we change the channel?”

 

Hiro glanced at him before he shrugged. “Sure, do whatever you want, it’s getting boring too.”

 

Tadashi rolled his eyes and changed the channels and they ended up watching the Discovery channel about whales. Hiro had no idea how they ended up watching it—but it was interesting. 

 

“Whales are cool,” Hiro said, sandwich long eaten and empty plate on the coffee table. Tadashi snorted. 

 

“You’re bored,” Tadashi said as a statement. Hiro looked at him and then looked back at the television. 

 

“No, it’s interesting, I’m just stating a fact: whales are cool,” he said. 

 

“Dolphins are better,” Tadashi said with a shrug. Hiro bit his bottom lip from laughing at their ridiculous random discussion. 

 

“Okay, dolphin man,” Hiro said as he stood up, grabbing the empty plate. 

 

“Where are you going?” Tadashi asked as he sat up, looking at Hiro with wide eyes. Hiro raised his eyebrows before he raised the plate. 

 

“To the kitchen,” Hiro said. 

 

Tadashi stood up and nodded as he stretched his arms. “I’ll join you,” he said.

 

Hiro looked at Tadashi for a second before he said, “For what? I’m just going to wash my plate and I’ll be right back.”

 

Tadashi sighed and said, “I wanna hold you.”

 

Hiro’s cheeks reddened and his heart skipped a beat. “Okay,” Hiro said, though still unsure as to why Tadashi wanted to follow him to the kitchen. “And I’ll be back after five minutes and we can cuddle?”

 

Tadashi looked vulnerable all of a sudden, as he took a cautious small step forward and his hands twitching. Hiro was confused at the behaviour but decided that it wouldn’t hurt for Tadashi to be with him in the kitchen. 

 

“Fine,” Hiro said as he walked away from Tadashi, head reeling from what was wrong with the man. At the kitchen, Hiro placed his empty plate in the sink and started to wash it. He stiffened when he felt Tadashi standing behind him, hands wrapped around his waist and face buried against Hiro’s shoulders. 

 

Hiro frowned before he continued to wash the plate and dry it. After that, he stood still. “Tadashi, are you going to let go of me now?” Hiro asked and the grip against his body tightened. 

 

Hiro’s frown deepened before a thought clicked in his head. “Oh god,” Hiro said. “You’re one of those people!”

 

Tadashi froze for a minute and then relaxed before he mumbled, “One of those people what?”

 

“Those people who can’t go a day without some sort of physical affection,” Hiro said and smiled, patting Tadashi’s hands. 

 

“I missed you,” Tadashi said after a minute of silence. “I missed holding you, missed kissing you, missed being with you.”

 

Hiro’s smile softened before he turned around the embrace, pushing Tadashi’s face upwards to look at him. He placed both hands on Tadashi’s face and sighed. “I missed you too,” Hiro confessed. “All of the above.”

 

Tadashi smiled before he tugged Hiro closer, burying his face against Hiro’s shoulders once more. Hiro chuckled and hugged him back. “You know, we could cuddle properly on the couch,” Hiro said and Tadashi nodded. 

 

But after a few minutes and Tadashi still refused to move, Hiro shook his head. “Uh, if we’re going to get to the couch, you have to let me go, Tadashi,” Hiro said as he brushed Tadashi’s hair with his fingers. Hiro was jealous at how soft his hair was and often wondered what Tadashi did to them to make them this soft. 

 

Tadashi only hummed under his breath before Hiro felt a pair of lips against his neck. “Just a few more minutes,” Tadashi said, his breath tickling Hiro. The shorter man shivered and nodded, letting himself relax in the hold. 

 

He didn’t mind. 

 

Hiro felt nice and warm and safe, he could spare another few more minutes like this. 

 

 

***

 

 

Cass’s eyes shined while Teo stood next to her, cheeks red. Hiro stared at them before his eyes landed on the ring on Cass’s hand. “Engaged?” Hiro asked and Cass grinned. 

 

Hiro smiled widely, beaming up at the news while Teo smiled as well, excitement covered his own eyes. They were at the dining area, with Cass sitting in front of Hiro and Tadashi while Teo sat next to her. “Yes,” Cass said. 

 

“Congratulations,” Tadashi said as he leaned against the table. “I’m happy for you.”

 

“Yeah!” Hiro piped up. “This is great! Now we can be a big happy family!”

 

Teo chuckled and his red cheeks reddened even more. “I would be honoured to,” he said as he laid his fingers with Cass. “Definitely honoured to.”

 

Cass smiled widely and hugged Teo tight and Hiro looked away for a second, feeling like he was intruding their special moment. “Congratulations, Aunt Cass,” Hiro said and Cass pulled away from Teo to aim her smile at him. 

 

“Thanks, Hiro,” she said and her voice sounded wet, as if she was about to cry. Hiro’s heart warmed at how happy his aunt looked. 

 

“We’ll get going,” Tadashi said as he stood up. “We’ll give you some time to yourselves.”

 

“Yeah, you both rushed all the way from dinner just to tell us the news,” Hiro said. “We wouldn’t have minded if you told us tomorrow even. Go and celebrate!”

 

Cass laughed and nodded as she stood up. “We were actually going to catch a movie,” she said and Teo stood up as well, hand in hand with her. “We just thought you guys should know about it as soon as possible. You both are special to me.”

 

Tadashi took in a sharp breath and Hiro glanced to see that Tadashi’s eyes looked misty. “I—” Tadashi began but Cass had let Teo go and walked up to Tadashi, hugging him. 

 

“You too, Tadashi,” she said as she took a step back. “You’re a part of the family too.”

 

Hiro felt his heart swell up with happiness and Tadashi looked like he would bawl any moment. Hiro touched his fingers and Tadashi immediately interlocked their hands. “Thank you, Cass—”

 

“Aunt Cass,” she corrected. “Practically family, remember?”

 

Tadashi nodded as he took in a shaky breath and smiled at her, “Yeah, family.”

 

Hiro’s heart ached, remembering that Tadashi hadn’t had a real family connection like this since his parents died. Now, he had one, and with Hiro too. 

 

“Go along,” Hiro said, breaking the slightly sad atmosphere. “You two will be late for your movie date.”

 

Teo nodded before he stepped up to Hiro and said, “Can I—”

 

Hiro hugged him tight before he could finish his sentence and Teo hugged him back, just as tightly. “Family now,” Hiro said and he could see that Teo’s eyes were watery too, as if he was as overwhelmed as Tadashi was with this prospect. 

 

Hiro grinned at that as he pulled away, standing next to Tadashi as Teo and Cass finally decided to leave. Tadashi and Hiro stood there for a while before Hiro sighed and said, “So, where are we going?” 

 

Tadashi looked at Hiro and cleared his throat. “I’m not sure, I just said that so your aunt and Teo would get some time to themselves.”

 

Hiro chuckled and said, “Come on, let’s go for a walk. It’s a nice night.”

 

Tadashi smiled and nodded. “It is.”

 

 

***

 

 

They walked, hand in hand until the spotted a bench and sat down, staring at the night sky. Hiro was curled up against Tadashi while the man had placed a hand over Hiro’s shoulders, dragging him closer. “Who would’ve thought we’ll be here?” Hiro said. 

 

Tadashi sighed. “I’m just happy,” Tadashi said. “To have you here by my side—and to have a family again.”

 

Hiro glanced at Tadashi and placed a hand on Tadashi’s neck, forcing the man to look at him. “We’ll always be your family from now on,” Hiro said before he gently touched the necklace Tadashi wore. “You think your parents would approve of us?”

 

Tadashi placed a hand over Hiro’s and squeezed it tight. “They would want me to be happy, I think they would approve of us,” Tadashi said, quietly. 

 

“I’m glad,” Hiro said and closed his eyes, letting his head to fall on Tadashi’s chest, tucked under the man’s chin. “I’m glad I met you.”

 

Tadashi hummed before he said, “I should probably get you a real ring soon,” Tadashi said and Hiro pulled himself back to look at him. Tadashi grabbed Hiro’s left hand and touched the bared ring finger. 

 

“What? Like a big diamond ring?” Hiro teased and Tadashi grinned. 

 

“Well, if you insist, princess,” Tadashi said, earning a scowl from Hiro. The shorter male pulled his hand away and slapped Tadashi’s chest gently. 

 

“You know I despise that nickname,” Hiro said, grumpily. “Way to ruin the mood, ‘Dashi.”

 

Tadashi laughed, head thrown back before he pulled Hiro close and nuzzled Hiro’s neck. “Aww, but you’re my cute short princess,” Tadashi said and yelped when Hiro pulled Tadashi’s hair. “Ouch, okay, okay, not a princess, I’m sorry!”

 

Hiro laughed as he loosened the grip and rubbed Tadashi’s scalp. “God, stop provoking me. You’re going to get bruised if you kept this up. I’ll end up in jail for spousal abuse.”

 

“Spousal, huh?” Tadashi said as he looked at Hiro. Hiro’s cheeks reddened when he realised what he had said and spluttered. Tadashi only smiled and reached into his pockets to pull out something before he took Hiro’s hands and dropped it on his palms. 

 

Hiro frowned and looked at what Tadashi had placed in his hands and froze. “Is this?” Hiro asked, examining the ring. It was beautiful, simple with minimalistic design but undeniably beautiful. “Tadashi, this is…beautiful.” 

 

Hiro cringed at how girlish he sounded but what else could he say? The ring stole his breath. He looked at Tadashi and saw some nervousness in his eyes. 

 

“Do you like it?” Tadashi asked and Hiro nodded, holding back the high-pitched cry at this sudden surprise. He wore it on his ring finger and admired it. 

 

“You dork,” Hiro said as he launched at Tadashi and tackled him into a hug. Tadashi let out a startled sound before he laughed, relieved, and hugged Hiro back. “This is stupidly beautiful and how could you have kept a straight face handing me this, I would never know, but you’re amazing anyways and I love you, so goddamn much and I can’t wait for the day I do have the right to use the word ‘spouse’.”

 

Tadashi took in a deep breath and breathed out shakily. “I love you too, a lot,” Tadashi said. “I can’t imagine a life without you.”

 

Hiro clenched his eyes, refusing himself to cry and make the joke about him being a princess real. Still, a few drops of tears slipped from his eyes as Tadashi slowly pushed him back. “I love it,” Hiro said under his breath as he opened his eyes and smiled at the man. Tadashi smiled back warmly and gently wiped away the tears from his eyes. 

 

“Good,” Tadashi said. 

 

“Do you have one too?” Hiro asked and Tadashi nodded, fishing out his own ring from his pockets. “Let me,” Hiro demanded as he took the ring away and held Tadashi’s hand. He pushed the ring on Tadashi’s ring finger and stared at how the silver ring looked on his hand. 

 

Tadashi intertwined their fingers and pulled Hiro close again. “You know, who would’ve thought that fake relationship was worth it?”

 

Hiro snorted under his breath as he hugged the man. “That stupid charade is still stupid, no matter what. But—I’m glad too, for it. Even if it almost tore me apart inside.”

 

Tadashi remained silent for a minute before he said, “I wish I could erase those pains you felt at that time. If I had the chance—I would’ve—”

 

Hiro looked up and placed a hand over Tadashi’s mouth before he shook his head. “I wouldn’t have changed a thing though,” Hiro said. “Because at the end, it led me to you. And I’m grateful for that.”

 

Tadashi’s eyes shimmered and Hiro knew there were tears in there. Hiro brought down the hand before he said, “So, aren’t you going to kiss me now? To officially proclaim we’re engaged?”

 

Tadashi chuckled before he nodded and pulled Hiro to him, lips crashing against his. Hiro kissed him back immediately, eyes closed and hands looping around his neck. 

 

This was good. His life was good. God, he couldn’t believe how happy he was. He felt like this was it, life finally gave him a break. Loneliness that threatened to drag him under all those years ago now was just a distant memory. 

 

Tadashi had changed him and Hiro knew that the man would continue to surprise him. Hiro was lucky to have someone like Tadashi loved him back. And he was going to cherish it, forever and ever. 

 

“I love you,” Hiro whispered as they broke apart, foreheads pressed together. Tadashi opened his eyes and stared into Hiro’s bright ones. 

 

“I love you too.”

 

** The End **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, here you guys go! I, at first when I wrote this, had no intention on writing anything further, it was just for the sake of releasing random ideas in my head, but the amount of support I got was overwhelming and encouraging--so I continued to write. :D So, thank you all, who have waited for my updates even as months passed by sometimes, to continue reading this story. I appreciated every single comment I got, some are constructive criticism, telling me if my story was static a bit at times or moving forward or I'm dragging it back to square one, so all those ideas helped me write better and to those who have given me wonderful comments and even waited for updates patiently, I thank you. :D 
> 
> Of course, thank you to all my silent readers as well, no problem, I know you guys are there. :D All of you guys are awesome, so //showers you guys with Cass's pies
> 
> Thank you all to those who have commented, gave this story a kudos, subscribed and even bookmarked. Imagine my surprise when I realised this story had over 100+ bookmarks and subscribers. Woosh, mind-blown! Again, you guys light my life when I'm down. Reading your comments made me happy. :D 
> 
> Also, I'm going to be writing a one-shot, just one last instillment for this story and probably would be taking place years, probably even after they got married, who knows. I just want to test out the Tadashi!jealous part because I haven't written Tadashi getting jealous yet, so why not. :D So, wait for that! If you guys wanna that is, heh. 
> 
> Anyways, until then, for now, goodbye! Have a nice day everyone and once again, thank you for all the support and awesome encouragements and responses. :DD Love you all~! -Krystal


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